Ability determines how far you walk and how fast you walk.

Great things can only be achieved with great ability. Ability includes five aspects: knowledge, skills, sense of responsibility, attitude and motivation. However, if you want to go fast, influence is the most important. So, how to enhance our influence? The answer is: develop your skills in many ways and contact more people.

In fact, human beings have always had a strong desire to be true to themselves.

Many people strongly dislike doing things that make them feel false. Because, if they have to force themselves to do something, then they think it is against their true self.

Authenticity is an endless topic of discussion, which lasts for a long time and has never produced a definite answer in the long history. The reason is that we often make too many changes too frequently. The most interesting thing is that the way to reinvent yourself is to do things outside your comfort zone.

Ok, let's discuss it from the following aspects.

In today's education, there is a very interesting phenomenon. If a teacher has been sitting on the podium talking about his class, look at his notes. Then, no matter how good the knowledge points and rich the experience she speaks, he can't be a good teacher. Because he can't subdue those bad students.

A good teacher will keep walking around the classroom and interacting with his classmates.

As a teacher, you should always walk around and let every student here know that the classroom is your place, not a place where their students can do whatever they want.

Besides, you can only build your prestige by walking around. Because students occupy every corner of your territory, you should keep moving back and forth on your territory like a tiger. Tell others through the body language of walking back and forth: this is your territory. Don't leave out every corner.

If you don't do this, teach according to your truest idea: stand (sit) on the platform and complete all the teaching activities as you really want. Then, you will never conquer them.

Every time I put forward these two concepts, everyone immediately understands that we should choose to be improvisers instead of sticking to the truth.

Yes, it's improvisation. No matter how we improvise, we haven't lost our true selves in the process.

Many people often feel insecure when they take up new jobs. Advice from others won't have much effect. People always tell them to be more creative, show more confidence, or enhance their sense of existence.

You may even receive various comments from others. The technology is good, but it needs constant innovation. Seize the opportunity to be more expressive in customer meetings ...

Now, let's try to divide the crowd into two categories. A group of people strive to be true to themselves in the process of transformation. They do more familiar things to make themselves feel comfortable. We call him "the man who sticks to the truth".

Another group of people are trying to do something different, something they have never done before. We call them "improvisers".

Now, we began to track and investigate these two different groups of people to see how they performed at work.

A resourceful person can learn from his colleagues' successful methods. Imitate their behavior and the way they walk; The way they talk, the jokes they tell, and the way they build their reputation.

After hearing this sentence, I finally understand why, in some cases, my colleague Jie Ge (Xu Mojie) doesn't always listen to his leader, and he is also deeply liked by the leader.

Jiege can challenge the leader: "XXX, if you say so, then I can't."

What is the ultimate secret of his success?

Later, I finally found out that when Jie Ge's leader assigned him to do something, he was often very good at assigning it to others. As Zhang Lijun, CEO of Beijing Venture Yeast Management Consulting Co., Ltd. said: Excellent managers always get results through teams. It is not a person who works overtime 24 hours a day, but through high standards and high demands. I think this is an improvisation!

People who improvise naturally adapt to the needs of the environment and will not feel guilty because they are fake.

People who stick to the truth have different reactions. If they need to do things in a different way than before, then they will feel that their authenticity is threatened. They think it's against me. This is not what I should do. There are too many things with poor self-definition. However, their deep values are not enough to support their leadership style, manners, dress and ways of doing things.

US President Barack Obama mentioned in his autobiography that he is like a chameleon, constantly changing his body color.

This is not to say that he is insincere, but to make it different. He is not at all keen on deceiving everyone by cheating. Although his background is not simple.

Let's take a quiz together to see if you improvise or stick to the truth.

First of all, I find it difficult to imitate others' words and deeds.

Second, what I say and do is often a true portrayal of my inner feelings, attitudes and beliefs.

Third, at various parties, I will not try to do something that will make others like me, or say something that will make others like me.

Fourth, I will only argue with others about what I think is right.

Fifth, I can speak extemporaneously, even though I know little about that topic.

Sixth, I think I can pretend to say good things or do good things to impress others or make them happy.

Seventh, in social places, I don't know how to behave. I will observe others' words and deeds.

If you agree with 1234, you are the one who sticks to the truth. If you agree with 567, you are an improviser.

Adapters learn a lot through their different emotional reactions to other people's actual behaviors.

I have talked to many sales champions, and they told me that a real improviser will repeat it over and over again, just like practicing kung fu. This reminds me of learning calligraphy, which was very strange at first. When I suddenly understood the basic rules of calligraphy one day, I went back to see different practice methods, different fonts and different calligraphers' styles. Many words are readily available.

He said: I once had a naive idea about what it meant to be more favorable. I don't study what customers think, and I don't care about the way they do things. I find that the most important thing is to stick to my own way of observation and thinking. Just make a slight change. My self-knowledge is constantly changing, sometimes it is painful and worrying a lot, but I can still learn something.

People who stick to the truth wander between the latest way and the old way, so they stagnate. They proved their ability by showing superb skills.

Impromptu, they pretend to be an excellent leader and act like an excellent leader. In the end, you can truly become such a person, achieve your goals faster, and finally become a real, different and more capable self.

Information:

Impromptu life is in "promotion" mode, while persistence in real life is in "obstruction" mode.

When you are in the "promotion" mode, you will continue to pursue your goals and value how much you can get through your efforts. In the "blocking" mode, you will try to avoid what may threaten you at present and focus on what you may lose. When you do something different, you may feel that you have lost your leisure time.

To be a good leader, you need to be in the processing mode all the time. In the process of transformation, many problems we encounter will trigger the "obstacle" mode. You will always focus on what you are about to lose, so that you ignore what you gain from it. You will be afraid of doing something wrong and then choose to back down. You will feel that this makes you lose the title of excellent person and then choose not to do it.

Your efforts to improvise always leave a good impression on the leaders. A person who insists on the truth, a person who hesitates in front of customers, is not the true self. We should always be brave and not afraid of change.

3. How to be true to yourself?

When you wear your favorite and most comfortable hat for a long time, you want to bring another hat. The style and color of the hat are different from before. At this time, it will become very difficult to wear a new hat.

We are used to the old "real" self, and we are deeply immersed in it, which is hard to change. However, the "real" self in the past often has some differences.

Next, we will explain the four most common differences.

We all hope that leaders can admit their own shortcomings. However, this does not mean that they need to express all their doubts and thoughts. Therefore, when you try to change a new role, your heart is full of anxiety and confusion. In this case, defining truth as the consistency of what you say, do and think will make your transformation extremely difficult.

Research shows that if a person is an introvert. When he really wants to achieve a certain goal, he may become an extrovert.

We have to find a way to pretend to be such a person in order to become such a person.

Now, let's look at these four different differences. The conventional definition of authenticity is how to prevent us from becoming a good leader.

First: Be true to yourself. When we play different roles, we act and think in different ways. When we want to play a new role, we don't know how to act and think.

Second: Who are you? Being sincere and transparent can naturally be shown in it. If we tell everything in our hearts, then we will lose credibility. Especially when we say something without foundation. Because most of these things come from our guesses, not facts.

Third: be honest and loyal to your own values and goals. Don't accept the values imposed on us by society. People don't need to share our values. The values of each of us now depend on our past experiences. However, some people just like to judge others and impose their own values on others.

Fourth: be loyal to the established behavior category. For example, for people in leadership positions, if we don't look like a certain kind of people, people around us won't think we are such people. If we look like this kind of person, we will feel that we are fake.

Knowing these four common differences, we will have a deeper and different view of ourselves.

Let's see how you fall into the truth trap step by step.

This usually exists in the following three situations, which makes people easily fall into the trap of their own authenticity.

First, it is difficult for some people to keep a proper distance from their own team when changing their new roles. Or too close; Or too far away (keep your thoughts to yourself). )

Second, others think there is no need to sell their ideas. Or you don't need to encourage others. They don't deliberately do something difficult in order to establish contact with others, because they think it is taking advantage of others.

Third, some people worry about some negative feedback through their true self-feelings, and can't convince themselves that the abnormal things reflected by unnatural leadership style are only an important aspect of improving their efficiency.

Next, let's dissect it from these three different directions: How did you fall into the truth trap?

If we are managers, we need to finish every detail of the work ourselves. Then, subordinates will be happy to push these responsibilities to us.

The correct way should be: communicate with subordinates. Assigning them tasks is only part of the problem. More importantly, find the most suitable point to get along with subordinates. Not too far and not too close. When should we be intimate and when should we remain mysterious?

When you want to show your authority, you have to show stronger skills or more experience than your subordinates. At this time, we keep a certain sense of distance from them. And when you want to show your approachable side, you should have a good relationship with your subordinates, be considerate and show your warm side.

As managers, many people can't find the balance between bringing others in and controlling others to do things they don't want to do.

Don't think that subordinates don't listen to orders. Think before you order: can this matter remain true? Or just use these as an excuse to keep them in their comfort zone? Think about what can give them a better chance to be themselves?

As a manager, you need to understand that you are not a job, you must learn to walk in front of the job, and you are the one who explains, analyzes and conveys the job. If you are not a job, what are you?

How should I assign others to do things?

This is an old problem. Many people who study how to influence others' strategies and suggestions are discussing this topic. Because they think that using power and playing emotional cards will make people feel uncomfortable. In fact, the only difference between leading others and using authority is that leading others is an act of interacting with each other in order to achieve common goals. Assigning tasks to others is only to achieve the same goal.

When you try to meet someone who can promote your career, you will still feel selfish. In fact, you know that if you don't do this, your good ideas and excellent leadership potential will not be discovered.

If you are trying to get out of the trap of authenticity, you don't need to learn too many strategies. But try to change your mind and do something.

How do we view ourselves and others, and how do we view the differences between ourselves and others?

All of us have positive illusions about the influence of ourselves and others.

We don't realize that human nature is to remember the things that make us sad the most, the things that hurt us the most, and the things that we did wrong. In general, bad things have a greater impact than good things.

When we think there is something wrong with our natural style, it is closely connected with our strongest advantage. Positive fantasies can also become a big problem, even if we have realized where the shortcomings are.

We will ignore some information, or blame others, or this job. The most common negative effect of this job is to directly deny its correctness. Unless, of course, we get feedback from the people who are most beneficial to us.

This is why it is very important to build a personal network that can give us some negative feedback. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill realized this kind of interpersonal network a long time ago, and he set up a special department for it.

Nanyang has a very unique corporate culture. They believe that heated discussion is the source of creativity. However, this is an arduous task for employees in China, because China people have been educated since childhood, and sharp edges can make people jealous.

When showing their true selves, the most typical way for Americans is to tell stories about their difficult times and how you overcame them.

As a leader, you should still take the lead in this way: decisively put forward your own ideas, prove that your ideas are valuable, put forward a few clear arguments, and take the lead in doing it.

The speed of a person's growth is closely related to whether people with high status in the organization recognize you. It is also related to your values and cognition. When you form cognition in such a cultural background, the cognition of employees in the company is different, and your leadership ability will not be recognized. This is one of the important factors for your leadership growth.

Finding the right balance often depends on your role model, a person who is both successful and similar to you. You keep learning from him and then make rapid progress.

For many people, socializing is like flossing your teeth. It's good for you, but it's boring and even has some strange feelings. I find that when you try to develop yourself, you will feel the same way and often find it difficult.

In fact, this feeling has nothing to do with the matter itself. You can play at work, or you can play while working. It has something to do with your attitude to participate in activities.

There are many different possibilities when you play games. Without the concept of time, you can walk around at will. When playing games, what you do is of little practical use, and you don't have to abide by various rules and regulations. Just have fun. You will be full of curiosity and develop many new things. The advantage of doing things in a new way of playing games is that it can enhance your creativity.

If you play your identity as a game, you will find many possibilities, not just one person. In essence, it's like flirting with your future self, instead of constantly evaluating your present self for a nonexistent ideal. Or test the commitment relationship, or try to gain the support of others and cater to their limited and individualistic views. So, you can learn more from your identity as a game.

Next, we have three methods. If you regard identification as a game, you won't fall into the authenticity trap mentioned earlier.

Let's discuss the above three methods one by one. What exactly should I do?

There is a best-selling book called "Stealing Teachers Like Artists", which has several key points:

First of all, when imitating others, we are not only imitating one aspect, or a person. Instead, we extract the essence from different people, and after revision and improvement, we get our own unique opinions. There is a big difference between the two.

Imitating a person is plagiarism. Great thinkers, artists or writers are always good at imitating many people. To do this, they need to subconsciously understand different leadership styles and strategies from more successful senior managers.

If you imitate one writer, it is plagiarism, but if you imitate many writers, it is research.

The reason why I dare not try to develop myself in different directions is because I am afraid of failure and that my performance will be questioned.

Many people make mistakes at work. They spend a lot of energy to do things that others don't ask them to do, maintain their reputation and show their best. Don't expose your shortcomings in front of others or even yourself.

Many times, we are strangers to a project. What this new project needs is not within the scope of our professional field, but it will often become a turning point on our development path. We will learn good new knowledge from it.

On the other hand, if people pursue learning, they will take the initiative to develop their current valuable characteristics.

We should always put ourselves in this mode, that is, put ourselves in the most favorable state. Reduce risks, keep positive fantasies and aim at learning. These will make you think of more interesting ways, which can coordinate your inner desire for truth with your desire for leaders with strong motivation, make you grow, and most importantly, you can find the possibility of expanding yourself.

Everyone has his own growth story. However, most people can't control the stories that affect their lives. They will not look at the story with a mature attitude, will not rethink and analyze the story, and will not make jokes about the story; It won't change him over time.

This is unacceptable.

Because they didn't put forward any new ideas. We should tell our own stories, instead of letting others talk casually there.

When our story can't reach our goal, it can't be consistent with our life goal. We need to revise it from time to time.

The story of this life can be to limit our image to a friendly and loyal team member; Defender of peace, a leader who can shoulder heavy responsibilities.

An internalized and evolving story comes from the past, the present and the future.

Finally, we should be like water. As an excellent person, we should be very concerned about our appearance and image. However, your idea may be: when to start dressing up your external image, not now. I didn't even put my own ideas into practice, and then carefully observed and recorded other people's reactions.

Do it now or never.

Like water. It means not being limited to one image, but being able to adapt to the new environment and create a new self-image in the new environment. For example, if you pour water into a cup, that's the shape of the cup; If you pour water into a bottle, that's the shape of the bottle.

By learning new experiences and imitating others, we can get to know ourselves again and imitate our idols.

Finally, start to act. The reason why we feel false is that we often make some strategic plans and estimate what benefits it will bring us, instead of letting our true feelings about nature drive us to do it.

We often use the truth as an excuse to confine ourselves to a closed environment instead of accepting new information and trying new environments.

) abstract (

Below, let's summarize this article and see what it contains.

(2) Set learning goals for learning, not just achievement goals.

(3) Learn to tell your story flexibly, tell it in different ways, tell different story points according to the situation, and constantly revise it, just like constantly revising your resume.

Finally, I am: studying in Xiao Lang. I am determined to publish my first book {solving 100 entrepreneurial problems} after three years of writing (August 20265438 ~ August 2024).

Now, I have finished writing 6.5438+0.4 million words.