A 600-word essay on a humorous new classmate Urgent! ! ! ! ! 600 words, remember 600

Today we have a new classmate in our class. He loves to tell jokes. Come and take a look: Joke 1: The old man made a sentence using "more...more...more...". A classmate wrote, "Anerle sanitary napkins are drier, more refreshing, and more secure."

Joke 2: An article introducing the teacher’s appearance. It should be "The teacher has a face with melon seeds", but it is sometimes written as "The teacher has a face with claws". Our Chinese teacher almost went crazy.

Joke 3: I went out riding a bike with my classmate XX, and his valve core was broken, so I pulled mine out and installed it for him, and we rode back together happily. Home.

Joke 4: The 100-meter run of the sports meeting finally started, and the students ran out like wild dogs.

Joke 5: The PLA uncles crawled forward one by one, like green caterpillars squirming on the ground.

Joke 6: "I died in the classroom due to illness..." "My brother has a newly shaved head, like a little bald donkey in Shaolin Temple..."

Joke 7: The Great Wall is so long, so fucking long.

Joke 8: Colored flags are flying on the sports field. Young and old men throw darts. You dart, I dart. My intestines and stomach are all over the place!

Joke 9. When I was in elementary school, I was very used to writing about good people and good deeds in my compositions. So people always write about picking up money. So, in order to exaggerate his achievements, someone wrote that he had picked up 100 million yuan in the park. They were all 10 yuan, and they were as thick as a Chinese language document (for fourth grade students). The teacher read it out on the spot, and the classmate was probably extremely cold.

Joke 10. The old lady took out four 500 yuan bills.

Joke 11. "I have a classmate. He is neither tall nor short. He is over 1.76 meters and under 1.78 meters..." The works of my junior high school classmates...

Joke 12. Everyone has written a classic sentence: The weather is really nice today, the sky is clear, and there are white clouds floating in the sky...

Joke 13. A primary school teacher wrote a composition with a semi-proposition: "My xxx" and randomly wrote about people and things. As a result, the title of my classmate's composition was: "My Comrade Qiu Shaoyun".

Joke 14. When I was a child, I kept a diary. The teacher stipulated that it should be more than 200 words. I was in a group of four, and the group leader checked the word count. A friend in my group wrote, "Today, my mother asked me to go out to buy groceries. I asked how much it cost per pound." , the vegetable seller said 5 points, and I said: It’s really cheap, it’s really cheap, it’s really cheap, it’s really cheap...” The team leader counted and still had 4 words left, so my friend added, “It’s really cheap.”

Joke 15. My teacher is a bit fat, with a big head, big eyes, big nose, and even a big mouth. ...The teacher is very kind to people. He wears a pair of color-changing glasses, just like a giant panda...

Joke 16. "A red sun reflects the rising sun... As primary school students in the new era, we know very well that Beijing is close to the capital..."

Joke 17. Do you still remember "Tadpole Looking for Mom" ??from elementary school? At that time, the teacher asked us to imitate this and write a composition about ***... One classmate wrote like this: My mother's snow-white belly and bulging eyes...

Joke 18. I once peeked at a girl's composition, and the most chilling thing was: If I become a nurse in the future, I will treat patients like a lover.

Joke 19. A sister's nephew, using "brand new" in a sentence, "a brand new vegetative person was born"... (Credit to Zhao Benshan).

Joke 20. I came to the TV and turned on the TV!

Joke 21. This classmate wrote: "Guoqiang (one of my male classmates) is sitting on a stool, with a big butt like a pumpkin in the field, and a large section of underwear exposed under his clothes." The teacher read it out during class and said this The classmate described vividly, after class, this classmate was beaten by that classmate...

Joke 22. When I was in third grade, another teacher once took over the class. We are asked to write an article "A Corner of My Home". So I wrote: The corner of my house is very beautiful, round and bright, and it is a toilet.

Joke 23． On a dark night, the tadpoles in the pond were basking in the sun!

Joke 24. Diary - Day 1: Today I went to my mother's workplace to play, and I had so much fun.

The next day: Yesterday I went to my mother’s workplace to play and I had so much fun.

Day Three: Today I remembered again that I went to my mother’s unit the day before yesterday and had a great time.

Joke 25. Famous quotes from classmates: The wild geese flew miemie in the sky; the round moon looked like a bow.

Joke 26． The teacher asked us to use the word "sure enough" to make sentences, so my deskmate wrote: I haven't showered in three months, and my body really stinks.

Joke 27. When I was in elementary school, I heard someone say that a wild donkey is the fastest runner, so I compared a classmate to "He can run faster than a wild donkey." Later, the teacher said that I shouldn't write like this, and I wondered why it couldn't work...

Joke 28. I walked into a department store. Ah, it seems that people's living standards have indeed improved. Look at the old farmer, running away with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right hand.

Joke 29. The content of "My Classmate" is probably: One time I was sick, and he gave me tutoring regardless of rain or shine. It was pouring rain and thundering that day. I thought he would not come, but he came despite the rain... He died of a high fever the next day. I will always miss this good friend.

Joke 30. There is a reading question on the primary school Chinese test paper, which basically talks about a mother who endured all kinds of hardships for her children and died in the end. After reading, students were asked to say a few words to their mother on Qingming Festival a year later. A primary school student wrote: "I wish my mother a happy Tomb-Sweeping Day, may you be as blessed as the East China Sea, and live as long as the Southern Mountains!"