If you are tired of inertia, you should think about how to break the fear of the unknown.

(The text comes from the original online podcast "Talk and Sing", and the copyright belongs to Jinan Xinzhuo Art Culture Communication Co., Ltd. and the author himself. Please contact the author if you have any quotations. )

I have a friend who is worried about the transfer of children recently. Why? Because after the transfer procedure is completed, the child is reluctant to report to the new school. This friend of mine is careful to explore and have a heart-to-heart talk, just like asking children why they don't want to go to a new school. Do you feel that the environment is not good, or are you afraid that you will not adapt? After asking questions and asking questions, the child finally said that he was not unwilling to go to the new school, because he had made many good friends in the original school. After this transfer, good friends could not be together often. The classmates and teachers in the new school didn't even know each other, so he was a helpless child, and he was very scared.

You see, this child is really nostalgic for the past. If you ask me, when the child is older, he must be a caring and righteous person, and he is brave enough to be a friend.

but that's another story, and it's also a joke. Children don't want to get in touch with the new environment, not necessarily because they are still children. The fear of the unknown is human nature, and everyone has it.

for example, the boss came to you today and said, Xiao Wang, the company needs business, so you have to go to the branch office to help. Go next month and come back a year later.

For example, our parents' old house is going to be demolished, and the old people and old ladies have to pack up and live in the new house, say goodbye to their old neighbors, old yards, old neighborhoods and old hutongs, and they will not see these things in a few days. Wait, wait, wait

The better the past is and the more harmonious the present situation is, the less attractive the unknown future is to us, and the less willing we are to leave the old environment. Even though we know that those fresh, lively, vast and even more incredible lives are in another place, it is still difficult to really leave.

Unless, you hate, complain, dislike and disgust the present living environment, or you are dissatisfied with being immersed in a familiar and safe place all day long, but it is lifeless and lifeless, and you can see through your life at a glance.

that kind of uncertainty about the unknown and the fear caused by it are inherent in us. Really choosing to give up the present environment and start a new life does not mean how brave you are, but the desire for a new life far exceeds the boredom of the old environment.

it's almost impossible to stay in the comfort zone all your life and live by your own inertia. After all, we have to face the choice of those crossroads, left or right, stay and continue or start over.

The difference is that if the inertia of life is too great now, even if you have to make a new choice, you will hardly be happy. It's like playing mahjong, playing one of 2, 5 and 8, and I feel reluctant to part with it, and I'm afraid to light someone else's gun. But if you make a west wind whiteboard, it will be less tangled and painful.

Therefore, the first people who rush to a new life are usually not the rulers of an era, nor those with vested interests, but often those who wander on the edge of life and are intertwined with various boundaries, who are not satisfied with the status quo and still have aspirations and fantasies about the future.

the internet age has made such a group of people appear first. Of course, their survival probability is not very high, but we still can't deny that even if the unknown things and environment are full of unpredictable fears, that unpredictability is not necessarily hope and dawn, but may also be a cliff that is temporarily invisible. However, overcoming fear to meet a new and unknown life is originally a part of the essence of life, a considerable part of the significance of our living, and the beginning of all possible beauty. Shouldn't we give it a try just for these items?

It seems to be human nature to stay in a safe and familiar environment. It's like, I never think that hard work is an innate excellent quality, because no one wants to suffer for a lifetime, and idleness and getting something for nothing seem to be closer to human nature.

But the familiar and safe environment itself is the most dangerous, because it is suppressing and brewing desires, and at the same time anesthetizing those ignorant and cowardly souls until they lose their fantasy, or even their fantasy strength.

When I was very young, I heard an elder say that a child who often changes classes must have something great in the future, because he knows the most people in the whole school. If this statement is put into practice now, it will become another very fashionable statement, called widespread connection.

a few years ago, a friend asked me, what about going to Beijing if I got divorced and quit my job? I said, well, if you divorce and resign, at least you have the objective conditions to burn your bridges. If a friend in Beijing throws you an olive branch again, everything will be basically ready. So I only remind you of one thing, just one sentence: what kind of life do you want, you must first make yourself that person.

This friend finally failed to go to Beijing for development, but he still stayed in this place where he stayed. After divorce, he got married, resigned and looked for another job. His life was the same as others, and he was calm and self-aware.

I don't know if I said this, which influenced his decision, or if he didn't decide whether to go out and have a try at all. But it doesn't matter, because even if he doesn't leave the present environment, he will have to face new choices. Even if he lives with himself again, he will gradually never understand the adaptation and habits.

But if you don't start a new choice because you are afraid that you can't adapt and get used to it, that's the biggest failure.

Actually, I'm not a psychologist, and I often don't know how to face choices and how to overcome fears. I only know that most of people's fears basically come from uncontrollable things, such as strangers, strange environments, strange jobs and so on. If I really want to share my understanding of this issue, there are probably only three.

First, the choice is always there. Don't think that not making any choice is the safest way. Sometimes we don't choose opportunities, and opportunities choose us. There is no place that will never change.

Second, no matter how you choose, you should do things first, and you don't have to rush to pursue details. You don't have to dwell on a certain scene that will never appear again. For example, the example of the child I mentioned at the beginning of the program, even if you don't go to school, school and play games with your former good classmates, there will finally be new friends who will continue to go to school and play games. Habits are formed in this way, and the only difference is that they change from one habit to another.

thirdly, fear and fear are the biggest enemies. In fact, many things are not so terrible, and they like it when they are done.

mountains don't turn into water, and water doesn't turn into people. This is what our ancestors taught us. Besides, the world is supposed to be full of imagination. If there is a fresh and untried life to choose from, what can we do if we try it?