Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who will read this article?
Who will read this article?
Too late to say, it would be too soon; Xue Ba's stick was just lifted, and behind the pine tree, thunder thundered and iron mord flew.
In the future, put this fire and water stick away and throw it out of the cloud. A fat monk jumps out and drinks it. "The restaurant is listening in the forest."
How long have you been! "
The two men looked at the monk, wearing a straight bow of soap cloth, straddling a Buddhist monk's knife and carrying a mord, and beat them in turn.
People.
Lin chong turned away and recognized it.
Lin quickly let out a cry, "brother! Don't do this! I have something to say! "
Shen Zhi heard this, so he stopped his mord.
The two workers stayed for a long time, unable to move.
Lin Chong said, "I want to do two things for him. It was Gao Taiwei who made Liu pay two of his workers and killed me. Taliang
Why don't you obey him? If you kill them both, it's also a grievance! "
Shen Zhi pulled out the Buddhist monk's knife and cut off the rope. He lifted Lin Chong up and shouted, "Brother, I never bought it from you.
Then the restaurant worried you. Now that you have been sued, I have nowhere to save. I heard that you match Cangzhou, and the restaurant is in front of Kaifeng House.
I can't find it, but I heard it was in the embassy room; "See the bartender to please two workers, an official in the shop said.
Words: "In this way, the restaurant becomes suspicious and can't let you go. I'm afraid these guys will harm you on the road, so I'll follow you later. See these two bird belts?
When you walk into the store, the restaurant stops there. I heard at night that those two guys are playing tricks to earn your feet by cooking soup. At that time,
I want to kill these two birds; But there are many people in the inn, and I am afraid of being saved. When restaurants see that these guys are up to no good, the more they will let you go.
Go down. When the night watchman went out, the restaurant went to this forest and killed this fellow and two birds. It's high time that he came here to hurt you.
Kill these two people! "Lin Chong advised:" Since my brother saved me, I won't kill him. " Shen Zhi shouted, "you!
Two birds! When the restaurant doesn't look at the brothers' faces, I'll chop you two into a paste! For your brother's sake, I will spare your personality twice.
Life! "I put a Buddhist monk's knife there and shouted," You two birds, quick brothers, come with the restaurant! "Raise the mord.
Go first. How dare two workers reply? They just called "Lin to save us both!" " Press the bag on the front, pick up the fire and water stick and help.
Holding Lin Chong, he took the package for him and followed him out of the Woods. After walking three or four miles, I saw a small hotel at the entrance of the village.
Shen, Chong, Chao and Ba, four people came in and sat down, asked the bartender to buy five or seven Jin of meat, drank twenty cents of wine, and returned some noodles and cakes. wine
Screen wine under the condition of ensuring safety. Two people asked, "Dare not worship the abbot in that temple?" Shen Zhi smiled and said, "you two pinch.
Bird, why do you ask me where I live? Why not teach Gao Qiu what to do? Others are afraid of him, and I am not afraid of him! If the restaurant succeeds,
That guy, teach him to eat 300 mord! "Two workers there dare to speak again. I ate some wine and meat, packed my bags and returned the wine.
Money, out of the village. Lin Chong asked, "Where are you going today?" Lu said: "It is necessary to kill and save people."
Rescue; "The restaurant can't let you go, just send your brother to Cangzhou."
Listen, two workers.
Secretly tunnel: "Bitter also! But it ruined our business! How to answer when you turn around! "
I have to go my own way.
Since then, on the road, Lu has always called, if you want him to rest more, you dare to twist him; If you are good, scold, if you are not good, fight. Two men
People dare not speak loudly for fear of monks attacking.
After two trips, I got on the bus, Lin Chong got on the bus, and the three of them followed the car.
Two workers are pregnant with ghosts, and each wants to save his life, so he has to follow carefully.
He said that he bought wine and meat all the way and stopped Lin Chong.
Those two workers also eat.
When we met the inn, we went out early and returned late. It's those two workers who light a fire and cook.
Who dares to disobey him? The two men talked in secret: "We have been detained by this monk. What will Gao Taiwei do if we go back tomorrow? "
Me! "
Xue overbearing: "I heard that there is a new monk named Lu in Suoguo Temple Garden. I think it must be him. return
To tell the truth, I wanted to tie him to the wild pig forest, but I was saved by this monk and escorted all the way to Cangzhou, so I couldn't. Give up and return
After giving him twelve taels of gold, Liu Qian went to the monk himself. You and I just need to stay away. "
Dong Chao said, "Yes."
The two men secretly discussed the topic.
Modest speech is complicated.
Being detained by Shen Zhi for seventeen or eighteen days, it is only seventy miles away from Cangzhou. There are people all the way, and there is no secluded place.
Yes
Lu made some inquiries, so he had a rest in the pine forest.
Shen Zhi said to Lin Chong, "Brother, it's not far from Cangzhou. There are people in the road ahead, and there is no secluded place. The restaurant has been attacked. "
Listen carefully. I break up with you now. See you another day. "
Lin Chong said, "Brother, you can know where Mount Tai is when you go back. The grace of protection, even if you don't die! "
Lu took out twenty taels of silver and gave it to Lin Chong. "You two birds should be," he said to two workers.
I cut off your two heads on the way, brother, and spare your two birds' lives. There is no road now, don't be evil! "
"Don't you dare again!" They asked. It's all from Qiu. "
Took the money, but stayed away.
Lu looked at the two men and said, "Are your two birds as hard as this pine tree?" The two men replied, "the little man's head.
Are skinny parents. "
Shen Zhi turned his mord and hit the pine tree, leaving a mark two inches deep. It broke off in unison, and he shouted, "You two pinch!
Birds, but with ulterior motives, teach your avatar this tree! "
He waved and dragged his mord, shouting, "Take care, brother!" " "
Ever since I got back.
Dong Chao and Xue Ba both stuck out their tongues, but they couldn't get in for a long time.
Lin Chong said, "Up and down, we'll go by ourselves."
The two men said, "What a wayward monk! A tree is on sale! "
Lin Chong said, "What is this straight? A willow tree in Suoguo Temple will be uprooted. "
Only by shaking their heads did they know it was true.
Three people have left the pine forest now.
At noon, I saw a hotel on the road, and three people came in. Lin Chong asked two workers to sit down first.
, xue two people half a day to feel at ease.
I saw that there were several seats in that shop, and 25 bartenders who screened wine hurried from east to west.
Lin Chong sat with two workers for half an hour, and the bartender didn't ask.
Impatient with waiting, Lin Chong knocked on the table and said, "You shopkeepers are so cunning that you won't come because I am a prisoner."
Attention! I have to eat yours for free! What is the reason? "
The host said, "You don't know my goodness."
Lin Chong said, "What's the good of not selling me wine and meat?"
The shopkeeper said humanely, "You don't know; There is a rich man in our village named Chai and Jin. It's called Chief Chai, a Jianghu person.
It's called a whirlwind. He is a descendant of Chai Shizong in the Zhou Dynasty. Since Chen Qiao gave way, Emperor Mao Wude swore an oath to him.
Certificate "at home, no one dare to bully him. Specially recruited men from all over the world, and raised thirty or fifty at home. Always ask us
Hotel: "If there is a floating prisoner, you can ask him to come to our village and I will help him." I'm selling wine and meat for you now.
He blushed and said that you had your own travel expenses, so he wouldn't help you. I mean well. "
Hearing this, Lin Chong said to the two civilians, "When I was teaching the army in Tokyo, I often heard the legend of Z officer and J,
But here it is. Why don't we go to him? "
Xue Ba and Dong Chao thought, "In that case, what have we lost?"
So I packed my parcel and asked Lin Chong, "Hotel owner, where is the manor of the high official? I'm just looking for him. "
The shopkeeper said humanely, "Only in front; About three or two miles, next to Dashiqiao, turn to the bay to wipe the corner, that is the big champion. "
Lin Chong and others thanked the shopkeeper for going out and walked three or two miles. Sure enough, the bridge came, a flat road, and green willows appeared in the shade.
Leave that manor.
There is a wide river around, with big poplars hanging on both sides and a white wall under the shade.
Turning across the bay, we came to Zhuang, where four or five Zhuang guests were sitting on the wide slab bridge in front to enjoy the cool.
The three men came to the bridge and made a salute to the guest. Lin Chong said, "Brother Xiang told the official that there was a man in the capital.
A prisoner surnamed Lin asks for an audience in Taipei prison. "
Zhuang Keqi said, "You are not blessed; If you have wine, food and money at home, you will go hunting this morning. "
Lin Chong said, "So I'm not blessed and can't meet. Let's go. "
Saying goodbye to all the guests and going back to the old road with two workers made me feel depressed.
After more than half a mile, I saw a group of people rushing up from the depths of the forest. With an officer in the middle, riding a horse.
A white curly horse.
Immediately, the man was born with fine features and pure teeth; Three-toothed moustache, 3045 years old; Wear a soap gauze on your head.
Horned flower towel; Wearing purple embroidered robes; A delicate gem ring is tied around her waist; Wear a pair of gold wire and green soap boots; waistband
A bow, insert a pot of arrows; Lead everyone in the village.
Lin Chong saw it and thought, "Do you dare to be a firewood official? ... "I dare not ask him again, only hesitate in my stomach.
I saw the young officer riding forward and asked, "Who is this man with a cangue?"
Lin Chong hurriedly bowed down and replied, "The villain is an imperial coach in Tokyo. His surname is Lin and his name is Chong. Because of the evil Gao Taiwei, looking for trouble.
I went to Kaifeng, and I was sent to Cangzhou. I heard in the front hotel that a leading actor named Chai is recruiting talents.
So, I've hit it off. I don't expect shallowness, so I can't meet. "
The officer got off the saddle and galloped forward, saying, "Chai Jin missed his welcome!" "
Just worship on the grass.
Lin chong hurriedly resalute.
The official took Lin Chong by the hand and accompanied him to the villa. When the guests saw it, they opened the door wide.
Chai Jin walked straight to the front of the hall and asked two people to talk.
Chai Jin said, "I've heard a lot about the coach, but I didn't expect to be here today. I'm really thirsty all my life! " Lin Zhongda
"Lin Chong, I am too modest," he said. "I heard that the name of an adult reached Yu Hai. Who was rude? I don't want to catch the criminal today, so I am honored.
Yan, Su Sheng is lucky! "
Chai Jin repeatedly self-effacing, Lin took the guest seat.
Barbie's Dong Chao is also sitting in this area.
Under the escort of Chai Jin, they took the horse to the hospital to rest.
Chai Jin asked Zhuangke to bring wine. I didn't move, but I saw a few Zhuangke holding out a plate of meat, a plate of cakes and a pot of wine. and
A plate holds a bucket of white rice, and there are ten coins on the rice, all of which come out at once.
When Chai Jin saw this, he said, "The villagers don't know how to fight! Coach here, how can you treat sth lightly! , quick go in! Put the fruit box wine first
Come on, then kill the sheep. Go fix it! "
Lin Chong stood up and thanked him: "Master, there is no need to give more. Just embarrassed. "
"Don't say that," said Chai Jin. "The coach seldom comes here. How can you treat him lightly? "
Zhuangke will fly first and post fruit boxes of wine.
Chai Jin got up with three cups in his hand.
Lin thanked Chai Jin and drank wine.
Two workers are drinking together.
Chai Jin said, "Coach, don't sit inside."
The family immediately untied the bow bag and arrow pot and invited two workers to drink together.
At the moment, Chai Jin is sitting in a chair, Lin Chong is sitting in the guest seat, and two workers are under Lin Chong's shoulder, telling the story of z ⒐ ⒆ a in the Jianghu.
commercial activity
Unconsciously, the sun is setting in the west, and fruits and seafood are arranged to be placed on the table and served in front of everyone.
Chai Jin personally raised his glass, played three rounds, sat down and shouted, "Drink the soup!" "
After eating a mouthful of soup and drinking five or seven glasses of wine, I saw the guest Zhuang reporting, "The teacher is here."
Chai Jin said, "Just sit down and meet."
Lift a table quickly. "
When Lin Chong got up to look, he saw the teacher come in, wearing a headscarf askew and holding his chest, and came to the back hall. Lin chongxun
I thought to myself, "When Zhuang Ke calls him a teacher, he must be the head of a high official."
Hurriedly bowed down and sang, "Lin Chong is willing to come."
The man ignored it and didn't reciprocate.
Lin dare not look up.
Chai Jin pointed to Lin Chong and said to Hong, "This is Lin Chong, the coach of the 800,000 Imperial Gun Club in Tokyo.
Please meet. "
Lin Chong listened, looked at Hong and bowed.
Coach Nahong said, "Have a rest. Get up. "
But you won't bow your head.
Chai Jin saw, in the heart very happy.
Lin Chong made two obeisances and got up to let Hong sit down.
The coach didn't give in, so he went to the street and sat down.
Chai Jin saw it, but he didn't like it.
Lin Chong had to sit under his shoulder.
Two workers also sat down.
The peer coach asked, "How did the official teach you to treat the troops with gifts today?"
Chai Jin said, "This is the master of the 800,000 imperial coach. How can you despise it? "
The instructor said, "Because high officials like guns and sticks, they often send soldiers to lean on the grass and attach them to the wood. They all said, "I am a gun and a stick.
"Coach, come to the village to lure some wine and rice. How serious the official is! "
Lin Chong was silent.
Chai Jin said, "Mortals can't look at him easily. Don't underestimate him. "
The peer coach blamed Chai Jin and said, "Don't underestimate him." He jumped up and said, "I don't believe him! He dared to hit me with a stick.
Listen, I think he is a real coach! "
Chai Jin smiled and said, "All right, all right. Master Lin, how is your heart? "
Lin Chong said, "I dare not."
The peer coach said to himself, "That man will never know, so he is afraid first."
Therefore, the more I want to provoke Lin Chong to hit a stick.
When Chai Jin will come depends on Lin Chong's ability. Both of them want Lin Chong to beat him up and shut him up.
Chai Jin said, "Let's eat wine on the moon."
Now I have eaten five or seven glasses of wine, and when I came up at the beginning of the month, I saw the hall like day.
Chai Jin got up and said, "Two coaches, let's have a big fight."
Lin Chong thought to himself, "This Hong must be an official of Chai. If I knock him over with a stick, it's in front of a big official.
The beard is not pretty. "Chai Jin see Lin hesitated, service road:" this flood is coming soon. There is no opponent here. forest
Martial artists have to refuse. Xiaoke is about to see the skills of the two coaches. "
Chai Jin said this, the original is Lin Chong hinder Chai Jin's face, refused to use his skill.
Lin Chong was relieved to see Chai Jin speak straight.
Hong first stood up and said, "Come, come, come! You hit a stick! "
They were all coaxed out of the backyard.
Zhuangke took a bunch of sticks and put them underground.
First, the instructor took off his clothes, pulled up his skirt, pulled a stick to make a flag drum and shouted, "Come, come, come!" " "Chai Jin
"Master Lin, please have a fight."
Lin Chong said, "Stop joking." He also picked up a stick on the spot and said, "Master, you ask."
Seeing him with the coach, I can't wait to swallow him with a mouthful of water.
Lin Chong came in with a stick and made a scene in Shandong.
The peer coach pulled the stick to the ground to grab Lin Chong.
Two coaches meet on the ground in the moonlight, making four or five.
I saw Lin Chongtuo jumping out of the circle and calling, "Have a rest."
Chai Jin said, "Why doesn't the coach use his skills?"
Lin Chong said, "Little people are defeated."
Chai Jin said, don't look at two people, how can you lose? "
Lin Chong said, "I only have this cangue, so I lose my power."
Chai Jin said, "Don't be confused for a moment."
Laugh: "This is easy."
He asked Zhuangke to get twelve taels of silver.
Here it comes.
Chai Jin said to the two escorting officials, "Don't be so bold. I don't like you two looking around, so I have the right to let coach Lin go. Tomorrow prison city
Camp, but there are affairs, all on Xiaoke. Silver is sent in twos. "
Dong Chao and Xue Ba, seeing Chai Jin as a big shot, dare not disobey; If I finally do something good and get twelve taels of silver, I'm not afraid.
When he left, Xue Ba immediately opened Lin Chong's protective cangue.
Chai Jin said with great joy, "This time, the two teachers will come again."
When the peer coach saw him, he was afraid of the stick method. He bullied him flat, raised his stick, but waited for him to make it.
Chai Jin shouted, "Stop."
Let Zhuangke take out ten pieces of silver, weighing twenty-five taels.
In a moment, go to the front.
Chai Jin said: "The two coaches had a game, but they were not better than others. This silver ingot is used for profit. If you still win, you pay.
Let's go "
Chai Jin heart as long as Lin take out your skill, deliberately throw money in the ground.
The peer coach deeply blamed Lin Chong for coming and fighting for this big money. Afraid of losing his spirit, he put a stick to his heart and made a fuss.
Portal, called "setting fire to the sky"
Lin Chong thought to himself, "Chief Chai only begged me to hit him." Also sideways stick to the ground, make a portal, spit a potential, called "dial"
Grass looks for snakes. "
Drinking with the coach "Come, come, come!"
So that the rod cover can enter.
Lin chong looked back.
Take a step forward with the coach, lift the stick and then come down.
Lin Chong saw that his steps were in disorder and jumped off the stick from the ground.
The coach was caught off guard and jumped in the car and turned around. The stick swept Jiao Hong's skull, left the stick and fell to the ground.
Yes
Chai Jin exultation, call a person to pour wine.
Everyone laughed together.
The carriage was struggling there, and all the guests smiled and helped.
The peer coach went outside the village in shame.
Chai Jin took Lin Chong's hand and went back to the kitchens to drink and told him to return the good things to the teacher.
Lin chong is willing to accept it, but he can't dodge it, so he has to accept it.
Chai Jin and the guests saw each other off; He wrote two more books and distributed them to Lin Chong: "Cangzhou Yinda is also good with Chai Jin; Prison city management
Camp, poor allocation, but also pay thick with Chai Jin; If you can get these two books, you must see the coach. "
That is, holding out twenty-five taels of silver and sending it to Lin Chong; There are two people, five taels of silver, who have been drinking all night.
The next morning, after breakfast, I asked Zhuangke to pick three bags.
Lin Chong resigned from Chai Jin with a cangue.
Chai Jin saw off the Zhuangmen and handed the money: "Stay for a few days, so that I can send someone to send my winter clothes to my head."
Lin Chong thanked you and said, "How can I thank you?"
Two workers thanked each other.
Three people embarked on the road to vote for Cangzhou.
By noon, he had arrived in Cangzhou city.
Send the baggage picker back to the state capital to write official documents, and the hall led Lin Chong to see the state official.
Now Yin Da accepted Lin Chong, wrote a palindrome and shut him up in the city camp.
After receiving the reply, the two workers said goodbye and returned to Tokyo.
Only Lin Chong was sent to the prison camp.
Lin Chong, who is in charge of the prison camp, was sent to a single room for observation.
However, ordinary sinners came to see him and said to Lin Chong, "It is very harmful to manage the camp and allocate money here, only."
Is cheating, cheating money, cheating things. If there are favors, money and things to send him, then I will say hello; If there is no money, I will leave you in the dungeon to live.
Live or die. If you get the favor, you won't be beaten a hundred times, just say that you are sick and send it; If not.
Human feelings, this one hundred sticks made a score of seven or eight. "
Lin Chong said, "Brother, if you want to make money, how much should you give him?"
They said, "If you do a good job, give him five taels of silver in the camp. If you don't do it, you will get five taels of silver. That's good.
Yes "
Lin Chong was talking to all the people when suddenly a man came to ask, "Is this new guy?"
When Lin Chong asked, he vowed: "I am a villain."
The poor man couldn't get the money, so he changed his face and pointed at Lin Chong. "You thief Pei Jun! How about meeting me? number
Bye, but to sing! You know what you did in Tokyo! Seeing me is still a big thorn! I think the thief is full of soldiers.
This is a hungry tattoo, and it will never prosper! You can't kill a stubborn prisoner without beating him! Your thief bone at least fell into my hands! Teach you pink bones
Broken body! Call a few more times and you will see the effect! "
Scold Lin Chong for "one Buddha was born" and dare to look up and answer.
When everyone saw the curse, they parted.
Lin Chong waited for him to attack, so he went to get five taels of silver. With a smiling face, he said to him, "Brother, please give me a little gift. Don't say anything
Slight. "
The dispatcher looked at it and said, "What did you teach me to send to the camp? Mine is in it?"
Lin Chong said, "Just for my brother. In addition, there are twelve taels of silver sent to my brother to manage the camp, and I am tired of it. " See the difference?
Looking at Lin Chong, he smiled and said, "Lin, I have heard a lot about you, too. Is a good man! I think Gao Taiwei set you up.
Yes Although you suffer temporarily, you will certainly make a fortune after a long time. According to your name, this character will not be an idle person. After a long time,
It must be a big official! "
Lin Chong smiled and said, "I will always rely on you."
"Don't worry," said the messenger.
Then he took out the book gift sent by Master Chai and said, "Brother Xiang, please write these two books down."
"Why bother?" The policeman said, "Even if you have a book by Master Chai. This book is worth an ingot of gold. I am writing a book with you.
When you want to kill a hundred clubs, you say that you have been sick all the way and have never recovered. I'm here to support you.
I want to hide it from strangers. "
Lin Chong said, "Thank you."
The messenger took the money and books, left the room and left.
Lin Chong sighed and said, "Money talks to God", which is true! Finally, there is such pain! "
It turned out that the messenger had allocated five taels of silver and only put five taels of silver into the book to see Guan Ying, ready to say, "Lin Chong is a hero and a great firewood.
The official here has a book to recommend him. It's Gao Taiwei who set him up here. It's no big deal. "Guan Ying," the condition is wood.
This official has books, so we must look after him. "Then call Lin to have a look.
Let's talk about Lin Chong first. At that time, he was sitting in a single room, and the sign called: "Guan Ying is calling the new sinner Lin Chong to the hall.
Name. "
Lin Chong heard the call and came to the front of the main hall.
Guan Ying said, "You are a new prisoner." . "Emperor Mao Wude left the old system:" Recruits must eat a hundred killing sticks. "
Left and right! Take it! "
Lin Chong told me, "I caught a cold on the way, and I'm fine. Tell me to give you a beating. " "Since he is ill today,
Beg for mercy "
Guan Ying said, "If this person is symptomatic, you can leave it and call him when he recovers."
The messenger said, "Please ask Lin Chong to take the place of the Heavenly King Hall." .
I posted a message in the hall, sent someone to call Lin Chong, took the luggage from the single room, and came to the Temple of the King to stand by.
"Coach Lin," said the messenger, "I understand you very much. I saved energy in the camp for the first time when I taught Tianwangtang.
Sooner or later, I will only burn incense and sweep the floor. Look at other prisoners, who work straight from morning till night and don't spare him; There are first-class heartless people, dial
He's in a dungeon, and he wants to live, not alive, but dead! "
Lin Chong said, "Thank you."
He took three hundred and twenty pieces of silver and the difference, and said, "I'm afraid it's better for my brother to make a fortune completely."
The messenger took the money and said, "It's all on me."
Hurriedly went to declare English, and opened the cangue.
After that, Lin Chong arranged accommodation in the Heavenly King Hall, burning incense and sweeping the floor every day.
I don't think it's too early for forty or fifty days.
The battalion manager, the money giver and the bribe taker have been familiar with him for a long time, so they leave him alone.
Chai Guan came to send winter clothes and sent someone to send them, and the prisoners in the camp were also given relief by Lin Chong.
Humble but not annoying; Near the middle of winter, suddenly one day, Lin Chong, who was playing cards, took a walk before leaving the camp.
As he was walking, he heard someone calling from behind: "Lin, why are you here?"
Lin Chong looked back, glanced at the man, and told Lin Chong to fight for something in the fire and smoke, which ruined his life. On the way to the snow,
Several lives were disabled.
After all, who did Lin Chong meet? Listen to the next decomposition.
Feeling: Lin Chong is very powerful! ! ! ! ! !
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