My parents are divorced. Why did I realize that my mother was not a bad woman until I grew up?

01

When I was three years old, my parents divorced and I was raised by my father.

The bungalow that my parents lived in before was in the same yard as my grandma. The entire yard was bought by my grandpa before his death. It was very big, but a little shabby.

Mom packed up her clothes and left.

I don’t seem to remember anything at that time. Grandma said that it was very difficult for her to take care of me. My father worked outside all year round to make a living, and grandma and I depended on each other.

I had a high fever, and my grandma couldn’t sleep all night long. Her old arms and legs couldn’t run at all, but she still carried me to the hospital in the middle of the night. When I ran to the hospital, my grandma’s heart almost jumped out of her chest.

I am cured, but grandma is sick. However, no one takes me. Even if grandma is sick and has a fever, she still holds me, cooks for me, and gets up at night to comfort me who is crying for some reason. .

At that time, my mother lived at my grandma’s house, which was actually not far away.

Grandma said, this place is as big as a palm, how could my mother not know, but she was so cruel that she refused to come and see me.

My mother would come here occasionally to buy me some snacks and some clothes. However, grandma said, those snacks just delayed my meal and caused trouble to grandma. The clothes she bought were either big or small. The clothes don't fit well, they are too flashy, and they trip and fall while playing.

When I was about six years old, my parents remarried.

My mother said that she missed me so much that she couldn't sleep all night, and she couldn't bear to leave, so she simply came back.

My parents still live in that bungalow, and I seem to still spend a lot of time with my grandma, because grandma is used to taking care of me, and she is worried that my mother is careless and cannot do a good job at all.

Moreover, my grandma brought me up. When my mother came back, she directly picked up a 6-year-old daughter. She was white and fat, and she didn’t cry or make trouble. Why?

02

Not long after my mother came back, my parents started fighting. After two days of fighting, they would fight together in three days. My mother didn't have much strength, but she looked unwilling to give in. My father would pull my mother's hair and pull it here and there. My mother would cry and howl and keep arguing, but I didn't know what she said.

After hearing this, grandma went to persuade them and told them whether they could live peacefully. If they could, they could live in peace.

My mother kept crying. I was not sensible at the time. Grandma said that my mother didn’t want to live a good life, so she didn’t let me sleep with them, so she just followed her.

It seems that once, my grandma came to the door crying. I can’t tell the details. I asked, but grandma only said that they were unreasonable and didn't say anything else.

Later, my parents divorced again. When they left this time, my mother hugged me and cried, saying she wouldn’t let go. However, she said she couldn’t afford to support me and asked me to live a good life with my father. Be good.

I stood at the gate and watched my mother holding a bag, which was not big, and left crying.

The days seemed to be the same as before. I still followed my grandma. Later, I went to school. My grandma cooked for me every day and took me to and from school.

My mother seemed to have disappeared. My father married my stepmother again and still lived in the same house where my mother lived. However, they were not often at home and were always fighting.

Once, when I was celebrating my birthday, my mother called me. She was a bit unfamiliar. She said, whatever you like, my mother will buy it for you.

I said, I don’t want it. I will be fine without you. After saying that, I felt very relieved. My grandma had been resentful for so many years, and I finally had the opportunity to vent my anger for her.

Then, I hung up the phone, and my mother didn’t call again. However, I was still a little disappointed. Why didn’t my mother insist? Shouldn’t she give me a birthday gift? Could it be that she really , don’t love me.

Grandma said, Mom, this is just an excuse. If you really want to give it away, there is no need to ask.

03

When I was a teenager, I was in junior high school. My mother remarried. The other party had a 3-year-old daughter. The girl’s mother passed away. It is said that her mother was very special to that girl. good.

Grandma said that my mother was a heartless woman who left her own daughter alone to take care of other people’s daughters. I don’t know what she was thinking. It would be great if she could spend even half of her time loving me.

My mother never seems to have paid child support to me in these years. Grandma said that my mother is a bad woman. She lives with my father half-heartedly. She is dating men outside. After divorce, she doesn’t want me anymore. She’s afraid. It makes her unable to get married. Now that she is remarried, she is so focused on living with that man that she doesn't even remember that she has a daughter.

Dad once broke his leg at a construction site. Grandma was very sad and said that this is not the root cause of the disease, and it will become more serious as he gets older. It's all my mother's fault. If my mother had lived peacefully, my father wouldn't have had to support the family all these years by working everywhere. If my mother had been willing to pay child support, my father wouldn't have had to hold his head high in front of my stepmother and desperately try to make up for me.

I was so angry that I said, I’m going to ask my mother for child support. I want to ask her why she gave birth to me if she didn’t love her.

Grandma said, you are not allowed to go, and you are not allowed to go to your mother to beg for food. You still have to have some integrity.

However, I still went. At that time, I had graduated from junior high school and stopped studying. I hung out all day long, and my grandma didn’t know what I was doing.

I went to my mother’s house and watched my mother leading the little girl. The girl was clean and had her hair braided. I felt even more angry. Why, isn’t your daughter mine? ?

My stepfather seems to be a very honest man, buying all kinds of food and drinks. I know, it's all fake. While eating, the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I overturned the table and cried, asking my mother to compensate me for all these years. Why did she ignore me and why didn't I live a good life with my father?

04

I thought they would be very angry, and I was also very scared. After all, it was wrong to say something like flipping the table. I was scared, so I kept talking desperately. It's not my mother's fault, she condemned her, and her voice became hoarse.

The stepfather didn’t say anything, just cleaned up silently, and then took the little girl out to play. My mother waited for me to calm down and said that she loves me very much. She only gave birth to me in this life. I am her flesh and blood. But there were too many helpless things in the past. She alone could not change anything in the end. However, It's fine now. My stepfather is a good man and they are willing to love me well together.

I was prepared. I thought that my mother would scold me and hit me, and I would rush out of the door and never come back again.

However, the hardness in people's hearts will always be covered, surrounded and softened by some softness.

My mother found me a junior high school nearby and asked me to repeat one year and then continue to high school. My mother said that she did not ask me to study well, but that I wanted to have what others had, and I didn’t want to. At the age when I should be studying, I was doing nothing and wasting my youth.

After hearing this, my grandma scolded my mother and said, why didn’t I care about it a long time ago, but now I think about it.

However, my aunt persuaded my grandma and said, I am old after all, and since my mother can help, I cannot refuse for the sake of my children.

That’s it, I went to study. I thought to myself, this is what my mother owes me. I can’t forgive her because she is a bad woman.

Many years passed in the blink of an eye. When I graduated from college, I understood some things, and had more contact with my mother, I discovered that my mother was not a bad woman. It turned out that my mother was not a bad woman. , she has always loved me deeply.

When I was young, my mother secretly visited me many times, but my grandma wouldn’t let her in.

Actually, it was my father who met his stepmother when he was working. Then, he half-heartedly thought that my mother was not good. For my sake, my mother wanted to endure it, but my father beat them like crazy and couldn't stop me from the domestic violence. My grandmother only believed in my father, which made my mother feel that if she didn't leave, her life would be left behind.

My mother returned to my grandma’s house and lived with my uncle. She really couldn’t take me with her.

Later, when I grew up, my mother also wanted to take me with her, but my grandma refused, saying that it would cost her life.

05

Now, my grandma has passed away, my parents have moved to new homes, and I am living alone in Beijing. During the holidays, I’d rather go to my mother’s place more often.

Because, there, it is warm and soft, which makes me feel at ease.

I have regrets and complaints, but what can I do? I know that pretending to be hateful will only make my parents’ lives more tiring. They have the right to choose their life, just like now, I also want to live according to my own ideas.

It’s just that if those couples who can’t stay together are willing to tell their children that your father (mother) is actually very good and we all love you very much, and they can say a few words in a friendly manner when they meet, How nice it would be to be like a stranger, like a friend without friendship.

The family is gone, and the parents have become enemies and blindly slander them. These will become scars in the children's hearts. If it is difficult for the marriage to continue, please leave some room for each other for the sake of the children.

Chinese-style divorce, please don’t be an enemy, okay?