Who can tell me something about the history of American presidents! have a fine sense of humour ...

George Washington was the first president of the United States. He has a young one.

Secretary, one morning, the secretary came late. He found Washington waiting, and he felt very uneasy.

Sorry, he said there was something wrong with his watch.

Washington calmly replied, "I'm afraid you have to change your watch, or I'll change my secretary."

Of "

Open a letter of introduction

1in the summer of 979, French revolutionary Constantine? Waln visits US President George? Huasheng

Dunn. In order to be allowed to travel all over the United States, Vorne asked the President for a letter of introduction. Washington thinks:

Don't open it, let vornie touch a nail; Keep calling me yes. So he wrote on the paper:

Cornwall doesn't need a letter of introduction from Joe Washington.

mild

Thomas Jefferson (1743- 1826) was the third president of the United States. 1785 He Zeng

As the ambassador to France. One day, he visited the apartment of the French Foreign Minister.

"You replaced Mr. Franklin?" Asked the foreign minister.

"This is to replace him, and no one can replace him," Jefferson replied.

Stop hostilities and make peace.

Andrew, the seventh president of the United States? Jackson (1767- 1845) once played Benton.

Yes. Benton shot Jackson in the left arm, and the bullet stayed there for nearly 20 years. To 1832

By the time the doctor took out the bullet in 1996, Benton had become an enthusiastic supporter of Jackson. Jackson building

It was suggested that the bullet should be returned to Benton, but Benton refused to accept it. It is said that the storage period of 20 years has led to the occurrence of property rights.

In order to transfer, the ownership of the bullet belongs to Jackson. Jackson said that since the last duel,

Only 19, the property right relationship has not changed. Benton replied, "In view of your special interest in playing."

Take care of-always carry-I can give up this year. "

Serious donkey

13 th president of the United States John? Calvin? Coolidge (1872- 1933) didn't talk much.

English is very famous and is often called "silent Karl". Alice. Roosevelt? Longworth once said.

Coolidge "looks like it was fished out of salt water."

Coolidge said: "I think the American people want a serious donkey to be president." I just. "

Just conform to the people's hearts. "

Open a golden mouth with difficulty

Because of President Coolidge's reticence, many people always take it as an honor to talk to him more.

At a banquet, a woman sitting next to Coolidge tried her best to make Coolidge and

She talks a lot. She said, "Mr Coolidge, I made a bet with others: I will definitely get it from you."

Draw more than three words. ""You lost! " Coolidge said.

Once, a well-known lady sat side by side with the president, and she talked a lot.

On, but the president still said nothing, so she had to say to the president, "Mr. President, you are too silent."

Yes Today, I must try to get you to say a few more words, at least two words. "Coolidge

The president mumbled, "In vain."

"I have been standing, too."

One day, Coolidge was burying his head in his office when suddenly a lady who worshipped Coolidge burst in.

His speech the day before congratulated him and said, "There was a sea of people in the hall that day, and I couldn't find it at all."

A seat, standing and listening to all your speeches. "

The lady said this in an aggrieved tone, apparently in exchange for a few words of comfort.

Unexpectedly, Coolidge said indifferently, "You are not the only one affected. I have been standing that day. "

I don't want to be president anymore

At the end of Coolidge's presidency, he made a famous statement: "I won't do it again."

This business. "

Journalists think they have something to say, and they are always pestering him. Please explain why you don't want to be the general manager any more.

Unified.

There is nothing to do. Coolidge took a reporter aside and said to him, "Because the president didn't."

Opportunities for promotion. "

Just answer one question

Abraham, the first 16 president of the United States? When Lincoln (1809- 1865) was studying, there were

Once in an exam, the teacher asked him, "Do you want to answer a difficult question or two simple questions?"

"Answer a difficult question." Lincoln said confidently.

"Then you answer: How did the egg come from?"

"Chicken-born."

"Where did the chicken come from?"

"Teacher, this is the second question."

Take clothes to town.

When Lincoln was a lawyer in Springfield, one day he walked to the city. a car

When the car came from behind him, he stopped the driver and said, "Can you do me a favor and enlarge this one for me?"

Take your clothes to town? "

"Why not?" The driver replied, "But how can I get your coat back?"

"Oh, it's easy. I'm going to wrap it in a coat. "

toss and turn restlessly

When Lincoln was a lawyer, he once appeared as a defense lawyer for the defendant.

The plaintiff's lawyer repeatedly stated a simple argument in court.

The audience was impatient at that time.

It was finally Lincoln's turn to take the stage to defend the defendant. He stepped onto the platform and took off his coat first.

Put it on the table, then pick up the cup and drink two sips of water; Then put on your coat and drink water.

Then take off your coat. This was repeated five or six times, which made the audience in the court laugh.

Lincoln said nothing and began his defense speech with laughter.

Give others a chance.

A woman came to President Lincoln and said confidently, "Mr. President, you must."

Give my son a position as a colonel. I don't ask for your gift, but we should have it.

On the right. Because my grandfather took part in the battle of Lexington, my uncle was the only one in Brayton.

No one escaped. My father took part in the battle of Na olins, and my husband was in Mantel.

Dead, so ... "

"Madam, your family has served the country for three generations, and your contribution to the country has been enough. I am deeply

Show my respect. Now, can you give others a chance to serve their country? "Lincoln took the words.

An ugly face

Lincoln is the funniest of all American presidents. Sometimes I laugh at myself. human

Everyone knows that Lincoln is ugly, and so does he.

Once, he and Stephen? Douglas argued that Douglas said he was two-faced. Lincoln replied

"Now, let the audience express their opinions. If I had another face, Do you think I'll wear it

This ugly face? "

Return cable

During the civil war, Lincoln issued an order to the front line, asking commanders to send messages to the White House.

Tell, be informative, don't lack anything. General McLelland was a hothead and received Lincoln.

The president's order was unbearable, so he immediately sent a telegram to the White House, saying:

"President Lincoln of Washington: I captured six heads in my mother's year and asked for treatment. Mackley

Ian. "

Lincoln received a telegram from General McLelland and immediately called him back:

"General McLelland's Medal: I learned it by telegram. Chen caught six cows for milking. forest

Ken. "

Whose shoes are polished?

While Lincoln was shining his shoes, a foreign diplomat came up to him.

"Why, Mr. President, you should shine your shoes?"

"yes." Lincoln replied, "Then whose shoes do you clean?"

After being hit

Once, an oncoming officer in a hurry fainted in the corridor of the War Department building.

On Lincoln Street. When he saw clearly that it was the president who was hit, he immediately apologized.

"Ten thousand apologies!" The officer said respectfully.

"One is enough." Lincoln replied. Then he added: "I hope the action of the whole army.

It can be so fast. "

Methods of eliminating political enemies

Some people criticized President Lincoln's attitude towards his political opponents: "Why do you want to make friends with them?"

Where's your friend? You should try to attack them and destroy them. "

"I'm not in the elimination of political opponents? When I make them my friends, my political opponents won't.

It exists. "President Lincoln said gently.

Estimate the enemy's strength

There was a discussion about the army, including Lincoln, and how many Confederate troops were on the battlefield.

People "

"1.2 million." Lincoln replied.

This figure far exceeds the actual strength of the Confederate army. Looking around, full of amazement.

And Lincoln went on to say, "Just right-65438+200,000. You know, ours.

Every time the generals lose in a battle, they always tell me that they are outnumbered and the enemy is at least stronger than us.

Three times, I had to believe them. At present, our army has 400,000 people on the battlefield, so South

The army is undoubtedly 1.2 million. "

Wise choice

1888, on the day of the 23rd US presidential election, candidate Benjamin? Harrison

(1833 ——1901year) calmly wait for the final result. His main interest seems to be Indy.

Indiana.

When the Indiana election results were announced, it was already 1 1 p.m., and Harrison was here.

I used to sleep. The next morning, the friend who called him to congratulate him at night asked him.

Why do you go to bed so early? Harrison explained: "Staying up late doesn't change the result. If I am elected, I will.

Knowing that the road ahead of me will be difficult. So in any case, a good rest is a wise choice.

choose "

Just to comfort myself.

Theodore, the 26th president of the United States? Roosevelt (1858- 19 19) was stolen.

Many things. His friend wrote to comfort him, and he wrote back to his friend and said:

"Thank you for your letter to comfort me. I am safe now. Thank god, because; First of all, thieves steal

It was my stuff, but it didn't hurt my life. Second, the thief only stole some of my things, and

Not all of them. Third, fortunately, the thief was him, not me. "

A face-saving president

Theodore? President Roosevelt loves face very much. No matter what the occasion, he will become people.

Attention center

"My father doesn't like to attend weddings and funerals," his son once said, "because he is married.

At ceremonies and funerals, he was neither the bride nor the dead. "

"I am that large group of people."

William, the 27th president of the United States? Howard. Taft (1857- 1930) was once quilted.

I stayed in a train station in a village for a long time, but I was at a loss because I missed the train. A coincidence

He heard that if many people want to get on the bus, the express train will also stop at the small station.

Soon, the train dispatcher received a telegram saying that Maxwell had a large number of people waiting.

Cars. Taft got on the express train alone when it stopped at Maxwell. For people who are confused,

The conductor explained, "You can drive now. I am a big group. "

The winner of the former president.

19 12 Taft ran for president with Wilson and Roosevelt, and both ended in fiasco. while

When someone asked him how he felt about it, he replied, "I'm sure I never waited."

The candidate was elected as the former president by so many people. "

It's full

Taft is the heaviest of all American presidents, and his gestures are boring.

Powerful.

One day, he went to visit former President Theodore? Roosevelt, to the seaside where Roosevelt lived.

After the beach house, I decided to take a bath in the sea. It happened that one of Roosevelt's children had had enough fun on the beach.

I ran home to Roosevelt.

"Dad, let's go swimming." The child said.

"No, son, not now." Roosevelt picked up the child and said, "Mr. President is using the sea."

Foreign countries "

Tactful answer to reporters

1March 25, 944 Franklin? Roosevelt was re-elected as the president of the United States for the fourth time. pioneer

A reporter from Tribune interviewed the 32nd President and asked him what he expected for re-election.

Feeling. Roosevelt just smiled and invited reporters to eat sandwiches. The reporter thinks this is an honor, and soon.

I ate it. Roosevelt invited him to eat the third piece, and the reporter was shocked by Pangre, although his stomach was no longer needed.

Yes, but he still bite the bullet and ate it. At this time, Roosevelt smiled and said, "Not anymore."

Used to answer your questions, because you already have your own feelings. "

The only thing I can do

Kennedy (1917-1963) was elected as the 35th president of the United States on 196 1. He used to

1956 was nominated as vice president and lost to rival Kevin Weil. After the failure, he took

The plane went to Europe to recuperate. One day, he basked in the sun in front of the house rented by his father and sister in Rivera.

Her ex-husband canfield happened to pass by him. Canfield asked him why he wanted to be president.

"I think this is the only thing I can do." Kennedy said casually.

witty response

In the nomination process of the presidential candidate, Kennedy's youth and childlike appearance merged into one.

A real disadvantage. Speaker of the House of Representatives Sam? Rayburn is attacking the Kennedy Milk Company.

One of the few democratic leaders who are wet behind the ears. Kennedy smiled and put the question aside.

"Sam? Rayburn may think I'm young. But for a 78-year-old man, his eyes

Most people are very young. "

But this problem has been bothering Kennedy. Harry Truman delivered a national speech.

Challenge Kennedy 3. "What we need is an extremely mature person." The former president said. be willing

Nidi responded to his challenge with logic and wisdom. He said that if age has always been regarded as a standard

If it is accurate, then the United States will give up its trust in everyone under 44. This rejection can prevent

Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence, Washington commanded the American army in the War of Independence, and Madison became the first person.

Columbus, the pioneer of the grass constitution, went to discover the new continent.

Interesting reply

Kennedy often wrote humorous letters to some columnists, which made these writers

I am flattered and funny. One day, Kennedy received a letter from columnist Leonard? Lyon

A letter from the president said that the current price of each photo signed by the president is as follows: George? Washington

175 USD; Franklin? Roosevelt 75 dollars; Allocate $55; John? Kennedy 65

Dollars. Kennedy wrote back:

Dear Leonard:

Thank you for writing to inform Kennedy of the market price of his autographed photo. Rising

It is unbelievable that prices are rising so high now. To prevent

The market is further depressed. Please forgive me for not signing this letter.

Let people control it.

Lyndon, the 36th President of the United States? Baines? Johnson (1908- 1973), aged 26.

He was appointed as the director of the Texas branch of the National Youth Administration. During his tenure, he gave ten orders to his subordinates.

Be strict and like to say your mistakes.

Once, he passed a colleague's seat and saw his desk full of papers, so he

Raise your voice deliberately and say, "I hope your brain is not as messy as this table." this

Sample, people in the office can hear clearly. This colleague has a hard time in Johnson.

Before the second inspection of the office, I sorted out the documents and cleaned the desktop. Johnson came to the office again.

In the room, when I saw that the originally messy desktop became empty, I said, "I hope you mind."

Don't be as empty as this table. "

Need a lot of money

President Johnson told an anecdote to a group of business leaders to illustrate the need for a lot of money.

Kim competed with the Russians for missiles. The story goes like this:

186 1 year, a Texan left home to join the confederate soldiers.

He told his neighbors that he would come back soon and the war would be easy, "because we can."

Hit these Yankees with a broom handle. "Two years later, he lost a leg and returned to his hometown. His collar

The wounded soldier in rags asked sadly what had happened, "didn't you say that?"

Crossing the war is easy. Can you beat these Yankees with a broom handle? "

"Of course we can," the Confederate soldier replied, "but the problem is that the Yankees don't have to sweep.

Fight with a broom handle. "

Never-used heart

Johnson laughed at * * * and party and government enemies and said:

"There is an old man who needs a heart transplant. There are three hearts to choose from, one is 18.

The second one belongs to a 19 year old dancer. The third belongs to a 75-year-old banker. This disease

Some people asked the banker about his political views and learned that he was a Republican. Knowing this, the patient

Chose the banker's heart.

"The transplant was quite successful. People asked him why he would rather choose the heart of a 75-year-old man.

He said, I need a heart that I know has never been used, not a vibrant young heart.

Dirty. "

pun

Gerald? r？ Ford (born in 19 13) was the 38th president of the United States. He likes talking.

Use puns. Once, when he answered a reporter's question, he said, "I am a blessing general, not Lincoln."

As we all know, Lincoln is not only a great president of the United States, but also the most advanced brand-name car.

Cars; Ford was an ordinary, cheap and popular car at that time. Ford said this sentence, one is that

Modesty, one is to flaunt that he is the president that the public likes.

A carefree president

Jamie. Carter (born in 1924) is the 39th president of the United States. Carter used to be in the south.

Committed to the baptism of Christianity. Because of this experience, journalists often like to ask him moral questions.

There are some impolite problems in expressing opinions on the topic.

On one occasion, a reporter asked Carter, "If someone tells you; Does your daughter have anything to do with others?

What do you think of a normal relationship? "

Carter replied, "I will be surprised and at a loss." After a short interruption, he added:

"But don't worry now, she is only 7 years old."

Money and rain

Before Carter's plane landed in a drought-stricken town in Texas, the town suddenly

It began to rain. Carter stepped onto the slippery airport runway and greeted the farmers who gathered there to welcome him.

Smile. "You want money or rain," he said. "I can't afford it, so I have to buy it.

Bring rain. "

Go get the urinal

The 40th President of the United States Ronald? Reagan (born in 19 1 1). On an outing, he

And several people were injured. Fortunately, Reagan didn't.

After being hit in the heart, he learned about the injuries of others in detail, when he learned that they had no life.

When in danger, he loudly said to the people around him, "Good news! Get us some urinals quickly, and let's go.

We can get together again. "

Laugh at yourself to solve the dilemma

President Reagan visited Canada and gave a speech in a city.

During the speech, a group of people holding anti-American demonstrations interrupted him from time to time. Obviously,

Show anti-American sentiment. Reagan visited Canada as a guest as the Prime Minister of Canada.

Pierre? Trudeau felt very embarrassed about this unreasonable move. Faced with this dilemma, Reagan turned against it.

And smiled and said to him:

"This kind of situation often happens in the United States. I think these people must have come from America on purpose.

Your country, maybe they want me to feel at home. "

Hearing this, the embarrassed Trudeau couldn't help laughing.

The most powerful man in the world.

As the president of the United States, Reagan was in power for eight years, but he said, "Some people say I am."

The most powerful man in the world. But I don't believe it at all. There is an official in the White House.

A small piece of paper is on my desk. It says what I should do every quarter of an hour, and he is all.

The most powerful man in the world. "

At the birthday party.

Reagan said at his 70th birthday party, "Today coincides with the 3 1 birthday of my 39th birthday.

Anniversary. No matter which year, I have a good time. If you consider choosing one of these years.

If I come to the party, I think there will be no problem. "

Age problem

The Reagan campaign realized that the big problem Reagan had to overcome was that he gave people a sense of

Too old to be president. So Reagan took every opportunity to ask about his age.

Tell jokes. "

The second debate was held in a serious atmosphere, and Reagan and Mundell covered a wide range.

Various problems attack each other very monotonously. Senior reporter Henry? Trivet told the president.

Ask a predictable question.

"Mr. President, you are the oldest president in history. Some of your assistants said

You feel tired after your recent meeting with Mr. Mundell. I remember President Kennedy, who was at

During the Cuban missile crisis, I had to work without sleep for several days. Have you ever suspected that it is here?

Can you perform your duties in this situation? "

Explain this tricky and polite question, which means you too?

Too old to be president? Reagan seemed to be in the batting position and smiled warily. He said, "I

I hope you know that I don't want to regard age as capital in this election. I'm not going to do it for

Use my opponent's youth and inexperience to achieve political goals. "

Make excuses to comfort yourself.

Self-mockery is a great tradition of the gourmet wharf. Reagan, born in Hollywood, often used the same method.

Laugh at yourself.

Self-mockery is sometimes very useful. Laughter dispelled the idea that Reagan was aggressive and hard-working.

Stupid impression. Making fun of expensive and war machines can offset people's concern for a huge country.

Beware of budget criticism. Reagan said:

"I have been hearing all kinds of propaganda about ordering B- 1. How should I know?

What kind of plane is it? I thought it was just vitamins needed by the army. "

The area of the classroom

Ronald? Reagan was good at weaving his policies into anecdotes and anecdotes he told.

In his opinion.

In his speech at the National Union of Students, Reagan attacked an old goal, namely, government day.

Various ills, bureaucracy and its harm in daily clerical work. He said:

"I know a teacher who keeps collecting forms, filling them out one by one and sending them out one by one. Tafa

Now the form items are all old questions that are repeatedly asked, such as how big his classroom is.

"He is very curious, I don't know if anyone in the relevant departments in Washington has read these reports.

So every time he fills in the old form, he expands the area of his classroom one by one.

Until the classroom was as big as the Colosseum, but Washington didn't show it.

Any objections?

"Later, he took the opposite approach. Every time he fills in the form, he gradually reduces the classroom area to

The classroom area is smaller than the hatch of the ship, and Washington still has no response. Later, he concluded:

Why did you fill out these forms? Nobody's watching! "

Traffic signal

To illustrate voters' distrust of politicians, Reagan humorously hinted that government officials were angry.

Life is really stupid. He talked about a fictional American city, which decided to put traffic signs.

Remember to stand higher.

The traffic signs were originally 5 feet high, and they are going to change the height of these signs to 7 feet. Federal politics

Government personnel intervened in this matter, and they implemented this project-they came to this city and put the streets.

The plane dropped 2 feet.

A speech to farmers

Like most actors and politicians, Reagan has long been eager to be loved by bloggers.

Hope. He decorated his speech with carefully arranged humorous language in order to win the respect of a specific audience.

Speaking to farmers, Reagan told an anecdote to please his audience:

A farmer wants to go to a small valley where the river has dried up. This wasteland is covered with stones.

The grass has grown and there are potholes everywhere. He goes there every day to work hard.

He went on working, and finally the wasteland became a garden. He is deeply proud and happy about it. Some star

On Sunday morning, after a hard work, he invited Mr. Minister and asked him if he would like to see him.

Garden.

Well, the minister came to inspect. When he saw fruits and vegetables, he said, "Ah! Last/better/previous/last name

The emperor must have blessed this land. He saw a bumper harvest in Wang Mi and said, "My God! God really knows.

These corns were blessed. "Then he said," Oh, my God! God and you have achieved all this in this land.

What a great achievement! "

The farmer couldn't help saying, "dear sir, I really hope you can see God alone."

What it looks like when you manage this land. "

Coin toss

Flattering the specific area you are going to is a major feature of this restaurant. As one of the presidents

Humor consultant explained: "One of the main values of humor is to let the audience know that you know him."

Who is it? Where they live. "

When Reagan arrived in Portland, Oregon, he said, "Several of my hard-working assistants gave me advice.

Don't leave Congress and come here dusty. To make them happy, I said,' OK!

Let's flip a coin to decide whether to visit beautiful Oregon or stay in Washington. '

Guess what? I had to throw 14 times in a row to get a satisfactory result. "

New residence

Reagan's way of catering to ethnic minorities has changed, just as he catered to people from different regions.

End, attractive. He said to a group of Italian Americans:

"Whenever I think of Italian families, I always think of warm kitchens and so on.

Warm home. A family lives in a slightly cramped apartment, but they have decided to move back to their hometown.

Go to the next big house. A friend asked Tony, the 0/2-year-old son of this family/Kloc-Do you like your new house?

Are you alive? The child replied,' We like it. I have my own room. Poor mother.

She still lives in the same room as her father. "