Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - My cousin

My cousin

My cousin 1 includes Lin, my cousin, height 1 m 23, bright eyes, small yellow teeth like corn, and a clever little head, my cousin.

Han Lin is a computer geek. He will play computer at home whenever he has time. One night, I went to his grandmother's house to play and saw Han Lin playing computer in the computer room. He doesn't know that I stood behind him for a long time. He played in the World Cup, only to see his hand quickly press the keyboard, cleverly break through the defense of each player and shoot the ball into the gate. Although his mother kept shouting "stop, stop." But he went in one ear and out the other and didn't take his mother's words seriously at all. When I returned to my hometown the next day, I heard Han Lin say to his mother, "Mom, can I play computer with my brother for a while?" It seems that Lin Han is really a computer geek.

If you touch a hair of your head, you will have no good fruit to eat. Once, I hid his favorite toy. After lunch, he couldn't find his favorite toy and cried. Grandpa heard this and said, "Why did you bully your cousin?" Apologize to him. "It's ok to be scolded by grandpa. Han Lian actually fought with me. I accidentally pushed him down, and he squatted on the ground and shouted, "Grandpa, come quickly!" " "Here we go again. Get out of here! Because of this, I cheer him up, tell him jokes and listen to him like a servant every day. I have lost all my face as a brother.

In short, I finally summed up five words for my cousin: naughty, computer nerd. My cousin is here again. I haven't finished writing my composition yet! Forget it. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye.

My cousin 2 today is Sunday. I happened to meet my cousin when I was visiting my grandmother's house. Today I want to introduce my cousin Yang Yang, who has a small crying bag!

Hardly had we finished eating when menstruation was stopped by an important phone call. When she wanted to take a step, Yang Yang burst into tears. My aunt immediately turned around, helped Yang Yang dry her tears, comforted her, and slipped out while Yang Yang was not paying attention.

After a while, Yang Yang woke up again, his little face twisted into a ball. I know that after 0. 1 second, Yang Yang's heart will collapse, and so will my world view! There are no adults at home. Can I take care of a toddler by myself? Mountain people have their own tricks. I rushed to the kitchen, took out Yang Yang's baby pacifier and put it in Yang Yang's mouth as quickly as possible. I don't believe this. Can Yang Yang be indifferent to nipples? But what I didn't expect most was that he actually dropped his nipple and let out a shrill cry. Oh, what should I do? This is a magic sound. There is only the second plan. In infancy, children's task is to eat, and only eating can make them quiet. Now let's get started! I picked out the shrimps at noon today, peeled them and pressed them into mud, added a little rice, mixed them up and served them to Yang Yang immediately. This made the guy eat with relish and fell asleep quietly in my lullaby.

Through this incident, I understand my mother's hard work to support me. I want to help my mother do housework and reduce her burden.

My cousin 3 My cousin's name is Huang XX. He is an innocent and lovely boy who is a little naughty.

My cousin is a primary school student, who is going to be promoted from kindergarten to grade one. He has a pair of big eyes, a fleshy face, and besides a flat head, he also has a very local hair, which is what adults at home say to make money. The whole head is round, just like a modest ball. He likes meat very much. When his aunt cooked a plate of chicken, his brother wolfed it down. The way he eats is really delicious. Every time there is meat in the dishes cooked at home, he will pick it out first and eat it clean. Although my brother likes eating meat, he is also a boy who loves sports. He always likes running and playing football.

Once, I finished my homework that day and went out to go to the bathroom. Later, I saw my brother put my homework under the desk. When I came back, I found my homework missing. I've looked everywhere. Seeing my brother looking at me all the time, I snickered. He looked at me and reached under the table for me. Another time, when I was sleeping in bed, my brother stood in front of me. As soon as I woke up, my brother gave a loud cry, which made me tremble and jumped out of bed at once. There's nothing I can do about my brother.

This is my cousin. He is cute and naughty, isn't he?

My cousin I have a very cute little cousin. His nickname is goo goo. He is one and a half years old. He has a nickname 10: "Red Apple" in winter, also called Little B, Tian Tian, Goo Goo, BB, Zai Tian and so on. Among them, we like to call him "goo goo" best. Do you know why? Because the first sentence he learned to speak was "goo goo", isn't it interesting?

My face is as big as a steamed stuffed bun, and my saliva flows out all day. He has big eyes and a small mouth, and looks like a fool from the side.

His personality is very strange. Sometimes if he is dissatisfied, he will form a big cross between his face and his ears. Sometimes when the door is chased to the wall, it will sound like firecrackers, and he will laugh.

His behavior is also very strange. After dinner two days ago, I hugged him to play, and he actually left urine on my clothes. I had to change clothes and put on my cousin's clothes. After changing clothes, he asked me to hug him again. I thought: he peed on me, and he can't do this anymore. Then I opened the week and ignored him. He came to me, turned his smiling face into a big cross face, and then took my hand and cried, so I had to hold him in my arms again. His expression immediately changed back to smiling face, and then he played with him.

His favorite thing to do is to take the stairs and accompany him. Song's task is very arduous, because it is not enough for a child to help him walk the stairs, so the adults entrusted me with this arduous task. My sister, my cousin and my cousin are all muddling along.

Goo goo is a naughty baby!

My cousin 5 There are two "little stooges" in our family. They are lively and naughty and often play with me. They are my twin cousins.

They are special, not in appearance, but in taste. They like to dip everything in gravy and even pour a little gravy on white rice. They just like the unique salty flavor. I think they ate with relish and were curious. Is there any charm? I really want to experience it. That time, I dipped a little marinade in Chinese cabbage and just licked my tongue. "Bah, Bah, Bah, so salty!" I muttered something with a frown, which made them smile. (Comments: The expression of language is vivid, and it is great to apply what you have learned! ) Their tastes are really unique.

Cousins' hobbies are also unique. They like drawing best, and they all like drawing mechanical drawings. They were so absorbed in painting that they turned a deaf ear even if someone shouted behind them. I like drawing with them. They draw, and I draw with them. Every time I draw "Four Don't Like", they draw a super robot, and every detail is very clear, vivid and three-dimensional. Even a small rivet is very realistic, as if the robot is a real thing, even more realistic than the real thing. I have to admire them and wonder what is the secret of their painting so well?

These are my two twin cousins. They have very special tastes and hobbies. Probably no one in this world is as special as them.

My cousin had a little guest at my house during the summer vacation, or a little "troublemaker". Every time he comes to my house, my house will be turned upside down by him. Do you want to know who he is? He is my cousin-Xia Wenbo. My cousin is eight years old. He is very thin. The word "thin" is just right for him! Apple-like face is always red, eyes are as small as two small black beads, and there is a small cherry mouth under the high nose. Eating is always "half in the sky and half on the ground". I think this may be the reason for his small mouth.

He jumps around like a monkey and can't stop for a moment. Once I was doing my homework, I told him, "My brother wants to do his homework, so you can play by yourself. I'll play with you when I'm finished." While I was writing, my little brother climbed onto the windowsill, so I asked him to come down. Bang, he jumped off the windowsill and hit his head. I quickly got up to see if he was injured and asked him if he was injured. "Then I turned a somersault in bed and went on to do my homework. After a while, he was covered in black ink. When I looked carefully, he knocked over the black ink I used to write pen words, and it was everywhere. Well, you said he was not naughty.

Another time, I was watching a program on Science and Education Station. He came over and insisted on watching cartoons. I discussed with him: "Brother, I'll show you this program, okay?" My little brother disagreed, and then he used his best trick to "make a scene" and moved my father here as a "reinforcement", so I had to surrender. I don't like my little brother at all, because every time my little brother comes, my parents don't love me. I put all the delicious food in his bowl and told me to eat less. And when my brother is unreasonable, my parents always say to me, "You are my brother." Alas, it's not good to be a brother!

My cousin 7 I have a cute little tail, and he always sticks to me. Yes, he is my cousin-An An.

Ann looks a bit like a foreign child, with watery eyes, sunken eyes, slightly protruding cheeks and a handsome face that seems to have been processed by an artist. And his hair is black, like dipped in ink, bright enough to reflect light.

Ann likes me very much, especially going to the stadium to watch me play football. Menstruation tells me that Ann calls my name every day, but he is still a villain. For example, once, during menstruation, Ann shoveled the rice with a spoon and shoveled it all out. Then she climbed from the stool to the table and sat in my arms eating my meal, which really made people laugh and cry.

What Ann doesn't like most is sleeping, much like me. Whenever menstruation held him to sleep, he burst into tears and tried to break away from the arms of menstruation, but menstruation finally pulled him back to sleep. He fell asleep when he was tired of crying.

Ann's most naughty time is this summer. While not paying attention to menstruation, he quietly climbed into the pool, turned on the tap, gave himself a cold bath and washed his clothes. Then I had a high fever of 40 degrees.

I am very happy to have a younger brother who likes me so much. He is cute and sometimes irresistible, but that doesn't stop me from liking him.

My Cousin 8 I have a cousin named Li Yixuan. He is two and a half years old. His curved eyebrows, small eyes and chubby hands remind me of my childhood.

My cousin can only walk, but he is not very good at talking. He can only say some simple words, such as "Mom and Dad". But as a child, he always makes me angry and laugh.

On this day, I came to grandma Shikou's house again. As soon as I got off the bus, my cousin jumped on me and shouted, "Brother, brother." I should immediately. After a short rest, my mother asked me to do my homework. While I was doing my homework, my cousin came with a thin stick in his hand. He held the stick high in front of me. I thought he was going to show me, so I leaned my head forward. As a result, I fell into his trick and the stick blossomed in my face. My cousin hit me and ran away. I am angry and anxious. I just wanted to catch up with him and beat him up, but I stopped at once and thought, "What strength do I have with children?" I continue to do my homework. My cousin saw that I didn't come after him, so he got under my desk when I was doing my homework seriously. At this time, I still didn't notice. It was not until I suddenly felt something pulling my shoes that I looked down and found out what my cousin was doing. My cousin saw me staring at him and quickly let go and ran away. It really makes me angry and laugh.

According to my mother-in-law, my cousin is talkative. Whenever he saw someone passing by the door with food in his hand, he immediately followed him and held out his hand and said, "Yes, yes, yes." Those people will give him some. If a car selling meat, vegetables and steamed buns passes by the door, my cousin will take an adult to buy it when he sees it, but he won't eat it, wasting money.

You see, my cousin is so cute and naughty that people can't help loving him.

My cousin is an 8-year-old boy named Li Haonan, the son of my aunt Huayang. Studying at Kaiyuan Dongcheng Primary School. He has a small comb behind his hair and a big fat belly. He likes meat very much and eats a lot. He should eat at least four bowls of rice every meal.

Especially he is overbearing and selfish. My uncle bought baked tofu for us to eat. My brother and I just ate one, and he ate it all by himself. My brother always said "eat less and leave some hemp for others to eat", and even the meat and fruit that my mother bought for my grandfather were robbed by him.

Cousin usually respects the old and loves the young, especially for grandpa, who can always accompany him. Once, he stole money from his parents for his grandfather. Grandpa scolded him for stealing money. He said: "My parents have money and are reluctant to give it to my father-in-law. My father-in-law supports us and has no money to see a doctor. I will give the money to his father-in-law. " His parents praised him for being sensible, while his parents scolded him for not being sensible. I don't know if he is wise.

Li Haonan is very playful. Every time we ask him to do his homework, he always says, "I'll play for a while before I do it." We all finished, but he still refused to do it. I was so angry that I didn't want to talk to him.

Brother, I hope you can do it: first, don't be lazy; second, don't be greedy; third, when you get home every day, you must finish your homework first, so that you can be liked and be a sensible and lovely little boy.

My cousin is 10. My cousin likes playing with small animals. This summer vacation, I went back to my hometown to play with him. There is a banana purchasing station not far from home. One day, for some reason, a little squirrel ran out of the banana pile and was caught by him. After that, he asked me every day, "Are you going to catch squirrels?" "I'm not going, go by yourself." "Are you with me?" My cousin begged me. Later, he couldn't wait and disappeared without saying a word. When I came back, I had another squirrel in my hand. Due to improper feeding methods, both squirrels died quickly. Cousin is very sad, but she doesn't want to catch it. I said to it, "Don't catch it. If you catch it, you won't raise it, not for nothing? " "You think I'm a useless waste, don't you?" Then I went to catch squirrels. When he came back, he panted, "I caught it ..." "Speak slowly." I hurried him when I saw his appearance. He said, "I caught something better than a squirrel, a locust." I looked at it and said, "All you have to do is give it leaves to eat every day." Cousin grinned. On another occasion, he asked me, "What animal in the world has the longest life?" "Of course, it is a tortoise. It has a long life span and can live for thousands of years! " "Really?" Cousin was surprised. "Of course." I patted my cousin on the back.

The next day, he asked me to go to his house, as if by magic. As expected, he turned into a turtle. What an interesting and lovely cousin!

Do you like him?

My cousin 1 1 My cousin Yi Kai is two years old this year. He has a red apple face with sapphire eyes in Zhang Yuanyuan. Under his tall nose, there is a small mouth that is not very talkative. It's so cute.

Yi Kai is very naughty. Once, my mother took me to Yi Kai's house. Yi Kai always spits at us. His brother-in-law criticized him many times, but he still wouldn't listen. His brother-in-law asked Yi Kai if he wanted to correct it, but he spat at him. His brother-in-law can't stand it. He just wanted to hit him, and he burst into tears. I think Yi Kai is really clever and naughty: he knew his brother-in-law was going to beat him to cry, so he cried first, so there was no need to beat him. I went over to Yi Kai and said, "Yi Kai, you are very clever, but as long as you don't spit, you won't have to be beaten by your father, let alone cry." Yi Kai winked, nodded and continued to play with me.

Although Yi Kai is naughty, he also has many advantages. Whenever he sees someone taking out the garbage at home, he will come to help and often help his father with his mobile phone. He always does what he can, such as stuffing beef balls, climbing slides, going to the toilet, taking off his clothes and shoes, and so on. He even used his aunt's mobile phone to point out photos to everyone!

Although Yi Kai is very naughty, we all like him. Do you think my cousin is naughty and cute?

My cousin Mao Mao is my cousin. Young as he is, he is a real acting school. If he is serious, he will explode.

On this day, I went to Mao Mao's home. As soon as he saw me, he said excitedly, "Yang Yuchen, there you are! I haven't seen you for a winter vacation. You are taller than me. " I pretended to be angry and said, "I am two years older than you." It is normal to be taller than you! " Seeing that I was angry, Mao Mao hurriedly begged for mercy in fear and said, "Okay, okay, please forgive me and don't kill me!" When I saw him begging for mercy, I laughed like a demon: "Well, I won't pursue this matter for your sake. Hearing this, Mao Mao quickly showed signs of being scared to death and fled to Yang Yang's sister's room.

I followed Yang Yang's sister's room. Just before I walked to the door, I heard a quarrel. I quickly ran into the room and saw Yang Yang's sister and Mao Mao quarreling: "You broke my microphone!" " "no! I picked it up when I came and found it broken! " Sister Yang Yang said angrily, "You are a liar! You broke a lot of things for me! " I quickly stepped forward to stop it, and the "war" stopped.

Mao Mao ran out of the room, sat on the sofa, wailed at the ceiling and shouted clearly, "I didn't break your things, I didn't!" ! You wronged someone! You wronged someone! "

After touching the story, I realized that Mao Mao had entered Yang Yang's sister's room. I was curious to see the microphone, so I picked it up and looked at it. Who knows the microphone just broke, Yang Yang's sister came in, thinking that Mao Mao broke it, scolded him, but accidentally wronged him.

After learning the truth, Yang Yang's sister quickly apologized to Mao Mao, while Mao Mao sobbed and said loudly that he would use his lucky money to buy another one for Yang Yang's sister. Sister Yang Yang and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Where can I find such a lovely fried brother?

My cousin 13 My cousin's name is Chen Yuchen, and his round face is like a ball. There are bright eyes under thick eyebrows. He has a bit of a crew cut and feels a little prick. He smiled so cute that he showed a row of irregular teeth when he smiled.

He may be naughty. Every time he eats melon seeds, it will become a melon seed fight, every party will become his imitation show, and even sleeping will become a pillow fight. I remember once, when we started to have lunch, he turned a few somersaults and came to the table. After a few bites, he slipped away. When I saw him, I ran after him and persuaded him to come to dinner. He just ignored me, turned over the bed and ran away. I caught up with him again. We ran around the living room several times and only heard a bang. The trash can turned over and all the rubbish inside fell down. They all began to clean, and he jumped from here to there and even climbed on the adults. After a while, the living room changed back to its original state, and everyone continued to eat. At this time, he ran to his mother and whispered, "Mom, why are you so fast?" I haven't had enough fun! "Scratching his head, everyone is in distress situation.

Anyway, this is my cousin. He is very naughty. Do you like him?

My cousin 14 I have a very fat cousin, who is a super invincible "foodie" in the universe.

His appearance can be described as follows: a pair of bright eyes, an ordinary nose, a pair of vampire-like ears and a chubby face, just like "Little Gui Bao" in comics, which really deserves to be invincible in the universe.

Every time I come to his house, I always see such a scene: he is holding a snack in his hand, waving to me while eating, and saying, "My cousin is here, welcome." I smiled awkwardly. I thought, well, this guy eats too much. When it was time to eat, before anyone else could eat, he began to do it first, and all the big fish and meat were stuffed into his mouth. Have a drink from time to time. I looked at it directly, and the braised pork I just caught with chopsticks fell directly to the ground. It happened to be seen by my cousin. He said angrily, "Cousin, you are too wasteful. Look at me, I never eat leftovers. " I nodded and said, "I have to learn from you. You never eat leftovers. " "Thank you," he said happily. Then, my cousin swept away the rest of the rice and left his house. I'm still hungry because there is only a little rice in my stomach. It seems that I have to eat midnight snack again, and I can't help but sigh. I'm drunk with such a cousin.

This is my cousin, who can eat very much.

My cousin 15 "whoa, whoa!" It's really terrible. My little emperor-my little cousin began to cry again, which made me upset when I was writing my homework.

I came to his room angrily, only to see my grandmother staring at my cousin with a fan, which made my hair stand on end. Look at my little cousin. His eyes are narrowed, his face is red and his mouth is open. He can swallow a 25-inch TV set. Seeing this, I stepped forward and tapped him on the head with a pencil, and he gave me a hard push. "hey! The strength is not small! " I said. He gave me a white look and cried even harder. Tears poured down like water from a tap. Now I'm at a loss. Tears are like gold, you can't squeeze them out. And he, tears like scrap iron, can cry half a catty a day. I pulled grandma aside and asked what was wrong. Grandma said she was riding a bike when she picked him up from kindergarten today. As soon as she saw it, she began to cry. It turned out that she went out by bike when he was at school and didn't take him to play. Okay, what do you call this? Although it is difficult, I must outwit him. He is most afraid of me tickling him. I walked into the room carefully, scratched under his arm a few times, "giggle", his leg kicked up hard, and his hand kept scratching me, ah! I let out a cry and covered my eyes with my hand, but as soon as I stopped, he began to cry again. God, the whole family is on pins and needles! My eyes suddenly fell on the schoolbag. There is a lollipop in the schoolbag, which my cousin likes to eat. I took out my candy and dangled it in front of his eyes. Really smart. He stopped crying at once, grabbed my lollipop and ate it like a greedy cat. Seeing his greedy appearance, grandma and I both laughed.

Alas, my little cousin, I really can't help him!