Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Looking for classic jokes

Looking for classic jokes

A person keeps a guest for tea, so he borrows it from a neighbor's house because there is no tea. For a long time, the neighbors didn't send it, and the water was boiled, so I didn't bring it. No choice but to continue to add cold water to the pot. After a long time, the pot was full of water, and finally the tea was not delivered. The wife said to her husband, "You can't drink tea. Let him take a bath."

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and a girl. When our Communist Youth League Secretary presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students ..." The rest of the students laughed their heads off. I think this is the first time in my life to get married, and the scene is very festive, ha ~ ~ ~.

3. Once I took the elevator with a beautiful woman, and a cool bearded foreigner was with me. That pretty girl kept talking, so I said, "Stop arguing and sell you to this foreigner."

The foreigner opened his mouth wide and his face lit up. He said in nonstandard Mandarin, "Really?"

4. Late one night, a man walked into the dentist's office and said, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I am a moth. "

Dentist: "You shouldn't go to the dentist. You need to see a psychiatrist. "

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "Then why are you still here?"

Man: "The light is on here." The hunter took his horse and hounds into the mountains to hunt. They were exhausted after a long battle, but they found nothing. So the hunter decided to keep hunting and left again. Suddenly the horse shouted, "I quit." The hunter ran straight ahead in fear for a long time and stopped to see the dog panting with his back against the tree: "Damn, horses can talk!" "

Today, on the plane, I thought of a flight attendant from Doby. When I delivered the meal, I said, do you have any paper? MM took the paper out of her pocket and gave it to me. I asked again, do you have a toothpick? She took it out of her other pocket. My brother is very depressed. Do you have chopsticks? MM said something to me that petrified me: Do I look like Doraemon?

When I was learning Taekwondo, a junior bought a white belt outside and tied it. There should be a Taoist name and logo on the regular belt, but my brother didn't know it, so he wore a light belt and hung it there. As a result, the coach saw it, and the coach raised his eyebrows and said, hey! You are not normal to wear a white belt!

One day, Director Zhang of the Personnel Department was transferred to another department. One of his friends called him, but it was another person who answered the phone-is Director Zhang there? "

"I'm sorry He is no longer in the personnel! " The friend said, "What! When did this happen? I just got off the phone with him the day before yesterday. How could I die?

One of my colleagues in the company is Yuan Jian. His wife is pregnant. One day, he discussed the baby's name with you and asked you to make suggestions together.

Colleagues have their own opinions. One colleague jumped out: Dad's name is Yuan Jian, and his son's name is of course copied ~

Pig Bajie went to Korea for beauty and became a handsome guy, so he went to a nightclub to find a beautiful woman. After the break, Bajie asked the beautiful woman, Do you know how ugly I used to be? I'm Pig Bajie! The beauty is frightened: second brother, I am Lao Sha!

One day, the headmaster examined the new students.

The headmaster said, "Hello, classmates!"

The students said, "Hello, headmaster!"

The headmaster said, "Students have worked hard!"

The students said, "Serve the people!"

The headmaster added: "The students are all tanned!"

A boy said, "The headmaster is darker!"

The math teacher taught us the definition of section, and after explaining it twice, we still saw several puzzled expressions in class.

So he said, "Take a knife and cut off your finger. The bleeding place is the cross section! " "

Since then, no one in the class has said that they don't know what a section is.