Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A famous poem about humor
A famous poem about humor
The most classic, humorous and authentic epigram 1. I always thought I was a talented person, but I was wrong. I didn't. I am a genius. 2. Sometimes all absurd things look normal, and all normal things look ridiculous. 3. My heart is full of love. Treat all the beautiful women in the world as lovers. 4. Be generous in life and death, and talk to Zicheng. Hold your hand and grow old with your son.
5, doctors look good, so we see a doctor; If cigarettes are not obedient, we will smoke. I want to change my life, but life has changed me. 7. Arrogant people can be saved, but people with inferiority can't.
I think I can save it! 8. Don't be discouraged when you fail, but we must be proud when you succeed; People can be dirty, but not obscene; You can be shameless, but you must not be ignorant. 9. Many people don't need to meet again, because they are just passing by. Forgetting is the best memory we give each other.
10. On a dark night in a month, there was a woman wearing a trench coat 1 1. Nobody wants to be locked in a cage. The question is, do you really dare to give you a boundless sky? 12, sitting still thinking about yourself, gossip is nothing more than 13, be a healthy person, a kind person and a happy person! 14, there are two kinds of silence: understanding, forgiveness and tolerance; Cowardice, echo, no opinion. Unfortunately, people often only see the second point.
3. What are the classic and funny ancient sayings 1? People don't attack me, I don't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.
I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world. 3, Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.
4. The sky didn't fall on me, so it broke my heart and hurt my bones and muscles. 5, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't leave, I will leave.
6, red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face, I really miss it! 7. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture. 8. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds are all picked up, and those without backgrounds are killed with a stick.
9. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy. 10, I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.
1 1. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum. 12, I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.
13, how to lose weight without eating? 14, my mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no, my mother said: this is ok, and I said: this is really not ... 15, the ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.
16, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary. 17, I'm not RMB, why does everyone like me? ! 18, there is love besides teeth.
19, when life viciously turned everything into black humor, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education. 20. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.
2 1. Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After being heartbroken, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable person. 22, crying, noisy, staying up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in his hand and hanging himself with a small rope.
No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love. 23. Our goal: Look at the money and make a profit.
24. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth? 25. During the onset of intermittent depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out. 26. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark ... 27. I can't play chess, I can't write calligraphy, I can't draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.
28, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go! 29. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport, including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects. 30. When I opened my eyes, I knew you were a monster.
3 1, hands in pockets, nobody loves. 32. Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.
33. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with people who try their best to make you end being single. 34. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.
35. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens! 36. They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET. 37. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.
38. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned. 39. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.
40. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die. It is said that people have only two choices, either get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death. 42. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, and winter is just a deep sleep.
43. You can't miss yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, and you can't give yourself happiness. 44. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.
45. If you are doomed not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance. Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.
47. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil. 48. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?
49. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu. 50. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.
5 1, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! When I woke up, it was already dark. 53. After drinking the medicine, he handed the bottle, hanged himself with a rope, and the jumper waved a handkerchief to see him off.
54. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again. The fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The dumb shouted, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to take him to the public security bureau. Asako said, look at my face.
You should know the script of your life-it is not the sequel of your parents, the prequel of your children, or the story of your friends. 59. The quieter the tree is, the more I love it. He is not there.
60. I want to wake up and open my eyes one day and find myself sitting on a desk and chair in a primary school classroom. The chalk thrown by the teacher hit him right on the forehead.
6 1, teenagers don't run amok, they are bold and presumptuous, so where do they get the theme when they are old? As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.
64. In a few decades, we will meet and send them to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes. I don't know any of you people. They will all be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer. 65. The beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying. 66. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.
67. The sign of an immature man is that he can die bravely for his ideal, and the sign of a mature man is that he can live humbly for his ideal. 68. Life is the mouth of Song Like Zedd. You never know who will be unlucky next.
69. The sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come? 70, people are not smart, but also learn from others to be bald. 7 1, I shine as a god at this beautiful moment. People don't bother ... 73. When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.
4.2006 Top Ten Network Classic Funny Sentences
1. The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest.
2. The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.
Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.
I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.
5. Women are not decent, but decent because they are not attractive enough. Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.
6. Smart women deal with men and stupid women deal with women.
7. Stand higher and pee farther. (a little indecent)
8. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.
9. The minimum goals of college students: farmers (peasant women), mountain springs and fields.
10. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.
Do not, for one answer, give up the purpose that you resolved to achieve. (Shakespeare, British dramatist) Do not, for one failure, give up the purpose that you resolved to effect.
(William Shakespeare, British dramatist) If you doubt yourself, you are on shaky ground. Ibsen, Norwegian drama If you doubt yourself, then your foothold is really shaky. (Ibsen, Norwegian playwright) It is at our mother's knee that we gain our nobleness, trust and highest ideals, but there is seldom any money in it. (Mark Twain) It was at our mother's knee that we got our noblest, most sincere and highest ideals, but there was seldom any money in them.
(Mark, American writer? (Twain) The only obstacle to realizing tomorrow's ideal is today's doubts. (Franklin Roosevelt, American President) The only obstacle to realizing tomorrow's ideal is today's doubts. (Franklin Roosevelt, American president)) When an end is just and must be achieved, so are the means by which Indians achieve it. (Abraham Lincoln, American statesman) If an end is just and necessary, then the necessary means to achieve it are also just and necessary.
All I can offer is blood, hard work and sweat. (Winston Churchill, British statesman)) I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. (Winston Churchill, British statesman) People make mistakes as long as they struggle.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. (jean jacques Rousseaux, French thinker) Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. (J.J., French thinker) Progress is the activity of today and the guarantee of tomorrow. (Emerson, American thinker) Progress is the activity of today and the guarantee of tomorrow.
(Emerson, American thinker) The man who has made up his mind to win will never say "impossible". (Napoleon, French emperor) The man who has made up his mind to win will never say "impossible". (Napoleon, French emperor). (Thomas Edison, American inventor) Where there is a will, there is a way.
(Thomas Edison, American inventor)) Success is the only real pleasure in life. (Thomas Edison, American inventor) Achievement is the only real pleasure in life. (Thomas Edison, American inventor) I succeeded because I was determined; I never hesitate. (Napoleon, French emperor) I succeeded because I was determined and never hesitated.
(Napoleon, French emperor)) If you want to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry. (Thomas Edison, American inventor) If you want to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry. Thomas Edison, American inventor. Only those who have the patience to complete simple tasks successfully can accomplish different things easily. (Schiller, German dramatist and poet). Only those who have the patience to successfully complete simple tasks can easily accomplish difficult things.
(Friedrich Schiller, German playwright and poet) Power always means responsibility and danger. (Franklin Roosevelt, American president) Strength always means responsibility and danger. (Franklin Roosevelt, American president). (Bernard Shaw, British dramatist)) The people who get on in this world are those who try hard to find the opportunities they want, if they can't find them. They make them. (Bernard Shaw, British dramatist) The successful people in this world are those who try hard to find the opportunities they want. If they can't find them, they will create them.
(Bernard Shaw, British dramatist) You must believe in yourself. This is the secret of success. (Charlie Chaplin, American actor) One must believe in oneself. This is the secret of success. (Chaplin, American actor)) A relaxed and happy person lives a long life. (Shakespeare, British drama) A man with an open mind lives long.
(Shakespeare, British dramatist) Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. (Benjamin Franklin, American President) Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. (Benjamin Franklin, American President) All the splendor in the world is not worth a good friend. (Voltaire, French thinker) All the splendor in the world is not worth a good friend.
(Voltaire, French thinker) If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow it. (Benjamin Franklin, American President) If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow some money. (Benjamin Franklin, American President) Money is a good servant and a bad master. (Francis Bacon, British philosopher) Money is both a good servant and a bad master.
(Bacon, British philosopher) Money is like manure, unless it is spilled, it is useless. (Bacon, British philosopher) Money is like manure, which is only useful if it is scattered on the ground. (Francis Bacon, British philosopher) No country, no matter how rich it is, can afford to waste human resources. (Franklin Roosevelt, American President) Any country, no matter how big it is.
6. There are three ways to read the famous sayings of funny celebrities in the world: heart, eyes and mouth-Zhu read a book to increase his wisdom.
If you don't eat, you will be hungry, and if you don't read, you will be stupid. Don't go forward, don't know how far it is; If you don't study hard, you won't understand the truth.
Without pruning, trees will not grow straight; People are ignorant without learning. It is better to dress yourself with pearls than to enrich yourself with knowledge.
Bees pick flowers to make sweet, while people read books to tell the truth. Labor is the source of knowledge; Knowledge is the guide of life.
Knowledge is the torch of wisdom. The sword will rust if it is not sharpened; People should fall behind if they don't study.
Lush seedlings need water; Growing teenagers need to learn. Stars make the sky dazzling; Knowledge makes people grow their talents.
Light candles for clarity and read books for reason. Food supplements the body and books enrich the wisdom.
There are three most precious things in the world-knowledge, food and friendship. (Burmese proverb) Books prepared without reading are like waste paper.
(English proverb) It is better to accumulate gold and silver than to accumulate knowledge. Modesty is a friend of knowledge. Mount Tai is not a base, and learning is not bragging.
The sky is not high and the ground is not thick. When the water is full, it will overflow, and when the moon is full, it will lose money; Complacency leads to failure, and complacency leads to stupidity.
Steamed bread has meat, not on the skin; People are learned and don't say anything. You can't do anything without a solid foundation, and you don't know things with an open mind.
People who are not complacent will learn a lot, and people who are not complacent will benefit. An open-minded person often thinks about his own shortcomings; Proud people often boast of their own merits.
Self-praise is self-contempt. Complacency is the end of wisdom.
If you have a beard, even if you are knowledgeable, then goats can give lectures. Achievement is the ladder for the humble to advance and the slide for the proud to retreat.
Those who brag about their knowledge are preaching their ignorance. It's no use exaggerating.
The shallower the knowledge, the deeper the confidence. People who are too reticent are not necessarily stupid, and people who talk a lot are not necessarily wise.
The river is calm, and the learned are modest. The scholar is not afraid of rags, and he is afraid that there is no goods in his stomach.
The mountain will never be too high and the water will never be too deep. Pride is the prelude to depravity.
Pride comes from shallowness, and arrogance comes from ignorance. Pride is the beginning of failure, and complacency is the end of wisdom.
Bragging is like firecrackers. It's over with a bang. It's hard to understand, you can only look at it according to things; Only balance is fair and we have the right to have things.
Modesty is the friend of learning, and complacency is the enemy of learning. The enemy of grasping feet is laziness, and the enemy of learning is complacency.
Modesty makes people progress, while pride makes people lag behind. Open-minded people learn to count ten as one, while proud people learn to count one as ten.
A strong man has a strong hand. Don't brag to others. Satisfying the present achievements stifles the future.
A person who likes to brag is like a big drum with a big belly. Only when people are free can they know people.
Full loss, little gain. When it is full, it overflows, and arrogance fails.
Knowledge is stored in the ocean of modesty. (Korean proverb) Don't be satisfied with your knowledge, and don't ignore your mistakes.
(Mongolian proverb) Knowing your ignorance means gaining something. (Latin American proverb) Learn, ask for a knife if you don't understand it, sharpen a knife and don't mistake a woodcutter, but learn before you are stupid.
Only by taking people as teachers can we make progress. It is not painful to try, and it is not a loss to ask.
People who are good at asking questions are knowledgeable. If you don't listen to the command, turn around and bend.
Don't pretend to know, it will never work. No matter how smart a person is, he will be lost if he has more concerns; A fool may give advice to a wise man.
If you can't learn, if you can't ask, you will never make progress. A knowledgeable person will ask if he understands; Shallow people don't understand and don't ask.
Well Tao eats good water three times, and the people in the third division have high martial arts. Fingers are long and short, and knowledge is high and low.
There is no before and after learning, and those who achieve their goals are teachers. Ask questions while learning, and you will learn.
If you want to be elegant, listen to others first. As long as it is beneficial, children should also listen.
Learn from bees to pick flowers and ask hundreds of experts. Old ginger is spicy, and the elderly have much experience.
Beg others not to lose money, roll your tongue. Dare not ask the way, get lost.
Shut your mouth and never go the wrong way. Books prepared without reading are like waste paper.
(English proverb) People who don't ask are always ignorant. (East African proverb) The ear has no bottom, and it can be heard from morning till night.
(African proverb) Nothing is difficult in the world. If you are willing to climb, you will get something. When an art is finished, it will take a lifetime.
A person who doesn't want to wade across the river naturally doesn't want to cross the ocean. The more needles you use, the smarter your brain becomes.
Learning seeks in suffering, and art practices in diligence. Not afraid of shallow knowledge, but afraid of short ambition.
Talent is the crystallization of blood and sweat. Talent is the blade, and effort is the whetstone.
Although it is hard to climb the steps, it is getting higher and higher step by step. Gemstones won't shine unless they are polished.
An expert can embroider, and a calm mind can weave hemp. There is a road in the mountain of books, but there is no limit to learning the sea.
Day by day, not afraid of thousands of miles; Always learn, not afraid of thousands of books. Just practice more, or stay if you don't.
Only those who try to reach the top can step on it. Difficulties are people's textbooks.
Sweat and harvest are faithful companions, and diligence and knowledge are the most beautiful couples. Learning is like drilling for oil. The deeper you drill, the more you can discover the essence of knowledge.
Learn to crawl first, then learn to walk. A firm heart can pierce a stone.
A good memory is better than a bad writing. diligence is the mother of success
Aim high and strive to acquire knowledge. Everything you know, everything you can say.
Catch two rabbits at the same time, but you can't catch either. Once born, twice familiar, and three times a master.
Learning is like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. Learning is like running ahead, you can't slow down.
The roots of learning are bitter, but the fruits of learning are sweet. Learning comes from diligence, and wealth comes from thrift.
Attention is the gateway to wisdom. It takes hard work to get amazing art.
As long as the kung fu is deep, the iron pestle is ground into an embroidery needle. Fist never leaves, mouth never leaves.
It is often said that a smooth mouth is not stupid. The lightest ink is better than the strongest memory.
You can't relax when rubbing the rope, and you can't stop moving forward. Aim not to fight, set out not to arrive.
Without hard study, there would be no simplest invention. (Yugoslav proverb) People who play too much have no time to study.
(French proverb) People who want to know more will sleep less. (Armenian proverb) Knowledge is like a spring under gravel. The deeper you dig, the clearer the spring water becomes.
(Danish proverb) Knowledge needs repeated exploration and land needs hard work. (Nepalese proverb) Learning is like driving up a mountain. If you don't advance, you will retreat.
(Japanese proverb) Read a book a hundred times and you will find its meaning incomprehensible and useless. Know everything, know everything. Without eyes in your heart, it's no use having eyes.
One day's careful consideration is better than ten days' hard work. Eating steamed bread chewed by others is tasteless.
It is better to believe in books than not to have them. It is not clear whether it is reasonable not to turn on the light or turn off the light.
Without will, everything is difficult; People without brains think everything is simple. Learning is expensive and there are doubts, small doubts are small, and big doubts are big.
7. What are some funny famous sayings, famous sentences or epigrams? Time is like water in a sponge, and it gets less and less.
Books or medicine, eating too much will have side effects.
An inch of time and an inch of gold can't sell an inch of time.
Reading a good book is like talking to me.
In a threesome, there must be a fall.
Other people's money and wealth are things other than me.
I walked the road myself, others paved it. If I go astray, find someone else.
Leave what is left behind, and don't leave it behind next time.
Opportunity is the sand in your hand, grab as much as you want.
If you can avoid the first grade, you can cope with the fifteenth.
Gently, I left and may never come back.
Modesty makes people progress, progress makes people proud, pride makes people lag behind, and backwardness makes people modest. A vicious circle!
Bet on the rise of China!
General who doesn't want to be a soldier is not a good general.
8. Classic humor is famous throughout the ages, so what killed you, my love.
Once upon a time, there was a river called the sea.
Husband and wife love each other, and all poisons do not invade.
Love at first sight, decline at present, and exhaustion at last.
Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, except one male and one female.
Remember the mammoth when I was a teenager?
A tree will die if it doesn't skin it. People are shameless and invincible in the world.
Sao belongs to Sao, and Sao has Sao's chastity; Cheap means cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity.
Debut at the age of zero; Ten years old, making progress every day; The lofty ideal of 20 years old; At the age of 30, I strive to become stronger, and at the age of 40, I am basically oriented; Fifty years old, popular everywhere; Playing mahjong at the age of sixty; Still wandering around at the age of seventy; 80-year-old lesbian family; 90 years old hanging on the wall.
I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu.
Personals: The requirements are as follows: 1. Live. 2. female.
Shake, shake, shake to Naihe Bridge.
Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.
Don't argue with the people on earth. ...
Why do you sleep for a long time before you die? You will fall asleep after death.
Don't talk to me about ideals, quit!
Women's four ideals: men have broken heads and shells, send me money every day, and wait in line for me to choose, never getting old.
Four modern fools: go home from work, earn money for your wife, leave a phone number for your lady, and order lobster at the hotel.
Four cowards: the stock was quilted, the money was stolen, the escort was reported, and eating Viagra was invalid.
There are four tragedies in life: a long drought meets a sweet rain, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating a gold medal, dream.
A wife is tasteless, a lover is too tired and a young lady is too expensive. Colleagues have nothing to do in meetings, and a couple who break up is a couple.
Love makes you old, and love makes you die young.
The wife went out with an explanation: drink less, eat more vegetables, stand up, be respected, refuse to eat, and go back.
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