Who can tell a few humorous jokes? The kind that laughs all the time!

A puppy climbed onto the dining table of the army and onto a roast chicken. The army was furious and said, "If you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you." As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's ass and the army fainted. The puppy said happily, "Look who is cruel."

Making fun of the teacher: (1) In math class, a boy was picking his nose. The teacher said, "xx, stop digging. There are more and more such things. "

(2) Chinese teacher: I killed pigs in my last life, taught in this life, killed people in my last life, and taught Chinese in this life.

(3) teach you that I will live at least five years less. If my annual salary is 0.2 million/200 thousand, it will be 6.5438+0 million in five years, dear! In the future, you can publish a book called How We Murdered a Millionaire.

(4) There is a saying that "Huashan has been a road since ancient times." Going up the mountain is this way, going down the mountain is this way, and if there is any other way, it is free fall.

Ok, let's laugh quickly. I want to continue. By the way, I want to remind some students that although the teacher speaks very well in class, you must not be reluctant to upgrade. As far as I know, there are students in this class who have been listening to my class for three consecutive years and are still in Grade One. Do you want to sign? If you want to, just say so. ...

1 There was a trap crossing the road and I was accidentally run over by a truck. When he died, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

There is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find sunglasses, so he crawls around the ground with his eyes closed until his hands and feet are dirty. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

3. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pluck his hair, one, two, three, and there was no last one left, and then he froze to death.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird that passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who fool around on the Internet all day are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then peeled bananas become dried bananas ~

Where's Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

9. Pandas love deer deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

10 which is the coolest Chinese character? Thong (cool)

The towel said to the coin, son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.

The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.

The minister said to the giant: the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he hissed. What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

At the beginning of a school roll call, a class teacher was ingenious and said to the students, "I read the student number.

Say your name so that everyone can get to know each other, ok? "

"No.001""Report teacher, my name is Jiao, my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "This?"

Who bought it for you? ""My dad ""What does your dad do? " "He opened a pig factory! "

"002" A girl stood up. "Report teacher, my name is Zhang and my name is Zhang Dekai."

"No.003" "Report teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother, and my name is Zhang Panda Kai." "Who is this?

You named it "My Dad". He sells pliers. "The teacher quickly took a sip of water.

"No.004" "Report teacher, my surname is Qu (this word is pronounced" Oh "), my name is Qu Ye, and this is?

My mother named me. She said that when I was born, I just played a computer game "Teacher's".

I feel a little uncomfortable.

"No.005" "Report to the teacher, fuck you" "How do you curse?" "No, teacher, I mean.

My last name is Gan, and my name is foster mother. My father makes wine. "The teacher ate a pill.

"No.006" "Teacher, my name is Gou, and my name is Gou Wuli" "Does your father own a steamed stuffed bun shop?" "Old.

Teacher, you are so clever! "The teacher is a little unstable.

"No.007", "My name is Kuai (Kuai, three times), and my name is Kuai Goods", "Don't tell me that your father runs a warehouse"

Teacher, you are too square. My father is a pimp. "The teacher's mouth has oozed blood.

"008" "Go to hell, teacher" "What? What did you say! " "I mean, my name is Ni, and I'm going to the temple.

My mother is a Buddhist. Is my name interesting? ""interesting, interesting. "

The teacher is about to cry.

"No.009" "Teacher, let's talk about it next time." "Why say it next time, you say it now." "No .. teacher,

My last name is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. "The teacher has felt very dizzy.

"0 10" "Teacher, my last name is Gao, and my name is Yin." "My name is Mei, and my name is Mei Conscience."

"My name is Wu, and my name is Kate." "My last name is Mao Rongrong." .......

The teacher turned to the sky and growled, "God, I met a group of students!" " "Blood gushed from his mouth, and he fell to the ground and died. .........

Have fun! O(∩_∩)O~