Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who knows there's an article on the reader called Slow Beat Until Written?
Who knows there's an article on the reader called Slow Beat Until Written?
Niu Ben is our friend who grew up playing, but we didn't like playing with him when we were young. He is young and slow, and every movement is half a beat slow. When jumping the long rope, all the partners in front of him jumped the willow tree with Jiao Yan. When they found him, they had to stop. The rope turned once and idled twice, so he had to look carefully before he could do it. In the game of group attack, no one ordered him. When there were not enough people, he reluctantly took the last bus. But the result of the game is very interesting. If he wants to win here, naturally others have done well; He's going to lose here, and he must have dragged everyone into it.
Fortunately, he doesn't care much. He won't be discouraged if others don't order him; Click on him and he will take it seriously. Never stop until you do it well-it is his serious attitude that hurts him, and the slow pace is more obvious. For example, in table tennis doubles, one partner serves a short ball near the table and the other side cleans it. He should draw an arc with his hand. But at that time, he didn't think of it. After catching the ball, he exclaimed, arc coil! Circular arc! I should have drawn an arc! The partner nodded. You're right. It's time to pull the arc. Look at this. Let's do it again. When a partner approaches billiards, the other side rubs it up, which is very high. This time, he has made a good posture, and the arc coil is also pulled in place, full of radians. However, he was half a beat slow, and the ball flew by before it could be pulled, making a whoosh of air, just like the subtitles in the movie didn't match the sound. The partner got angry, threw the racket on the stage and stopped playing. What a slacker! He looks embarrassed. Do it again, do it again. Soon this time ... everyone knows who will go with him again. This time, he must be slow.
When he was studying, he always studied well. But there is a problem. I usually do my homework correctly, but I don't take the exam. As soon as I took the exam, my grades came down immediately. When I graduated from high school and took the college entrance examination, the teacher checked with them. As a result, he got everything right, even the most difficult and difficult "topic selection" he did. Full marks! The teacher exclaimed, you are really good this time. According to my estimation, your grades should be ranked in the top three in the county at least, and it is no problem to go to a famous university. The teacher is very excited. After teaching for so many years, teaching such a wizard is not a waste. But he, with a long face, was not happy at all. The teacher wondered, why can't he be happy? He said, I've thought it over, but I haven't written it on the test paper yet. It's time. He said anxiously that there was not enough time, so he was ten minutes late! If you give me another ten minutes, all the answers will be filled in! The teacher fell down with anger and was only ten minutes late! You think this is normal homework, this is an exam! Exam time is limited!
I didn't do well in the exam, so I naturally went back to the village. At that time, it was still collective production. He went to the field to transplant rice seedlings with everyone, and each person planted four rows. Everyone else is far in, but he falls behind. They turned their heads and saw that every time he inserted a nest, he had to measure it with his fingers, one finger at a time, one finger at a time, two fingers at a time, and the row spacing and column spacing were accurate before planting. Everyone laughed at him. Come on, it's all the same. Why is it so accurate? How can it be inaccurate? You can't cheat it on crops. If you cheat it, it will cheat you in turn! Look, he has a theory. Everyone made fun of him when they saw him covered in mud and sweat. Stupid cow, if you don't slow down for ten minutes, now you can dry your shoes and legs and get paid to eat. How can you cross the western hills like us? Sigh again, it's past the western hills, and the sun is behind you. It's still so slow that it will hurt you all your life!
Later, when the land was transferred to the household, his family got some barren hills and several terraces. He doesn't care about barren hills, terraces are precious, and rice can be eaten. The only drawback is that the terraces are close to the top of the mountain and there is not enough water. There are no ditches for water supply and no groundwater gushing out. Planting rice depends entirely on natural water storage. In autumn, after rice is harvested, no other crops can be planted. Plow out the fields in time, fill them with water and soak them. At the same time, we must wrap the ridge with soft mud. Whether the field can store water or not depends on this ridge. Soft mud particles are small and will be dense after evaporation and precipitation. However, no matter how dense it is, it is mud. A worm can drill a big hole, let alone a vole and a woodchuck. Therefore, even if you have a ridge, you should check it from time to time. If you find any signs of water leakage, please repair it immediately.
What a waste of time! Stupid cow is slow, but he can think. He made an amazing move: he chiseled stones from the mountain and carried them on the edge of the field one by one, replacing mud ridges with stone ridges. This is not a simple job. The stone strip is too heavy and there are so many ridges. It is not easy to finish this arduous project without good efforts and some time. Stupid cows are not afraid of hard work, and stupid cows are willing to give up time. In hot summer and cold winter, his sweat flows into a river. On the morning of Bo Ming, in the foggy dusk, his rough asthma turned into a cloud. He has a belief that he can't finish it in one year, two years, two years and three years. Slow down, slow down, this is not an exam, no one gives him time limit. After this project is completed, he can do it once and for all. Not only will he benefit for life, but also his sons, children and grandchildren will enjoy it with him.
His feat was highly praised by the old people in the village. Gee, this stupid cow is slow, but he can do a lot of things! They lament that there are not many people who get married like stupid cows now ... young people don't think so. What, a contemporary fool? Hehe, isn't this a mess?
Ten years later, his great project was actually completed for him. The bluestone ridges of the same color are neat, firm and free from weeds. People coming and going on the road should look back and keep giving him a thumbs up. His heart was stirred and he suddenly had an idea to dig up the barren hills and turn them into terraces. But this plan didn't come true in the end. At this time, his son went to college, and the cost of study and living in college was very expensive. He needs money badly. Almost all his income comes from those rice fields. However, it is ok to feed yourself, but it is not easy to change money. The price is low, and the cost of pesticide and fertilizer seeds is particularly high. Counting his labor, it is almost upside down. If he wants to continue planting rice, his son will have to drop out of school.
Stupid cow looked at the newly built stone ridge, some lost, and some sad. Some people say it's a work of a thousand years, and his generation has not passed, so we have to abandon it! The sadness of loss is not over yet. If he grows rice without making money, how can he make money? At this time, the stupid cow discovered that there are actually many rich people in the village. They spend most of their time doing nothing but drinking, playing cards and visiting the city, but they are rich. Why are they rich? After analysis, stupid cows found that they mainly rely on two ways: one is to cut down the bamboo trees on the ground and sell them; One is to dig out underground coal mine stones and sell them. Stupid cow can't help exclaiming that making money is as simple as that! If I had known this, why should I wait for the earth crops! Although he vaguely feels that it is not practical not to grow crops, he can make money and solve his son's problem of studying. There is nothing to hesitate about!
However, when he really started to do it, he realized that he couldn't do it. As for the bamboo and wood on the ground, it has been cut and almost sold for a long time, and what has not been cut at home has been bought, cut and sold by others. What about the coal and ore underground? Take it all for yourself. Some people circled one mountain with two mountains, while others circled ten mountains with eight mountains. There are holes everywhere in the mountains, which are denser than those drilled by insects and mice. He wants to turn around, and there is no place to turn around for him. What's more, he has no money.
Yes, he woke up late, half a beat late. Now he wants to make money, and the only thing he can do is to dig coal in the hole.
Of course, if he wants to dig coal in the cave, he must absolutely guarantee his son's books, tuition and living expenses. He was ten minutes slow in the college entrance examination, which became the biggest regret in his life. At that time, he was not convinced. He once applied to his father to be a tutor for another year. He doesn't believe that he hasn't passed the exam after a year of cramming. But his father didn't promise him. His father said, I let you finish high school. Look at the children in the village. Who finished high school? He thought about it, yes, no one finished high school. However, I'm only ten minutes away. If I study for another year, how many minutes are there in a year? I'm sure I can get in! Can I let you study for ten minutes? Father sighed and said, I can't do it even if I let you study for ten minutes. Look at home. How much debt did you owe after finishing high school? You see, your mother and I are sick, and your brother is a fool. Where can we get money to keep you studying? He thought about it. Yes, both parents are sick and can't work. My brother is a fool and can't work. He is good at his hands and feet, but he does not work. It doesn't make sense! He finally realized that he was ten minutes slow, which was fatal and he could never make up for it!
Having children, he is very attentive. He didn't let his child go to the first grade until he was over eight years old. If you read later, your brain will be clear and you won't be so dull. Sure enough, all his children study well. Not only do I usually do my homework well, but I also do well in the exam. From primary school to middle school, I have been at the top of my class. He is happy that his son can study, and he is more strict with his son. He never lets his son work at home. As long as he studies, he won't allow his son to go out to play with other children. He has only one idea, and he must not delay his son's time. The ten minutes he missed in the senior high school entrance examination became a lifelong regret, and he wanted to make up those ten minutes for his son ten times and one hundred times. He even had an idea that if his son graduated from high school and didn't go to college, he would be asked to make up lessons. Counseling once, twice, eight years of anti-Japanese war.
His son is very successful. After graduating from high school, he was admitted to the university at one time without making up lessons. Still a good university. So in this case, even if he is reluctant to grow rice, he will give up. No matter how hard it is to dig coal in the cave, he will do it as long as he can make money and let his son finish college.
Four years later, my son graduated from college smoothly. However, in that year, great changes have taken place in the country's employment mode, which is no longer uniformly distributed, and employment has been pushed to the market, and employers and college students have made a two-way choice. This change made him at a loss. Other college students, whose parents are mostly in the city, or go to work to get paid to eat, have a wide network of contacts. Finding a job for a child is as simple as adding rice from a pot to a bowl. How is he? He stayed in the field all year round, and all he saw were seedlings, mud, water, soil, insects, weeds, and at most the wrinkled faces in the village. What do these things have to do with his children's work! What about his son? There is nothing he can do. He listened to his father at that time. His father told him to study when he was studying, not to play when he was not playing, and not to associate with other students. His grades are good, but his personality is very withdrawn. Even when he went to college, he just read books all day and stayed away from anyone. After graduating from college, he didn't go anywhere, so he went home and hid in his room to read. I seldom even go out of that room, let alone look for a job by myself. He sent a message to his father when I was in a hurry. At the beginning, who told you to wait until I was eight years old to send me to school? You want me to study at the age of seven, and as for today! I studied at the age of seven, and the stupid cow has the final say. If I had studied at the age of seven, I would have graduated from college last year. If I had graduated from college last year, I would have caught up with the package distribution. The stupid bull was so angry that he vomited blood. My son is right. It was a thousand calculations, and finally he was half a beat slow.
My son didn't look for a job, so he found a backpack and handed it to his son. If he doesn't go, he won't. From now on, you can go into the hole to dig coal with me. Digging coal? Joke! His son looked at him and vomited blood. The son insisted on not going, and the stupid cow felt that it was unreasonable to let his son dig coal. After all, my son is also a college student, a college student, and finally became a coal digger with a black face. Others don't say, he also feel impossible! But what are you going to do without digging coal? His son must earn money. They need more money now than when his son went to college. I used to earn money for my son to go to college, but now I earn money for my son to get married. When his son went to college, he never thought of marrying his son's wife. As long as my son graduates from college, he will go to the unit to get paid to eat. Is it necessary for a person who earns a living to consider marrying a wife? But now, without a job and returning to the countryside, the situation is completely different. For his education, the house at home has not been repaired, and the business at home has not been earned (the terraced fields in Shitianling, which were earned before, were thought to be successful for a thousand years, but it turned out to be useless, and even no trees were planted), which was a drag and the money was not saved. On the contrary, it is a debt. Can you marry a daughter-in-law with such a family background?
Also, unemployed college students are even worse than ordinary villagers. He has a personal experience of this. When he failed in the college entrance examination and returned to his hometown, it was very bleak. At that time, job-hopping was popular in the village, that is, you went to help others do some work, and then others did some work for you. At that time, agricultural technology was not high, and a lot of farm work needed everyone to do together. However, everyone does not change with him and dislikes that he will not do it. He was angry. Don't change, don't change. He did it himself. He must do it better than others. A large part of his idea of building a stone ridge stems from others not changing jobs with him. Now my son is in the same situation as him, even worse. My son is dumb and weak, and he has no energy to suffer. My son still wears a pair of glasses. A man who works in the countryside wears a pair of glasses, which is a joke. Such a person, which girl can value!
At this time, he regretted sending his son to read so many books. Many people in the village don't send their children to school, and some send them out to work very early. Some don't send it out and teach children to do business. Some children are not allowed to do anything, but they are rich and have nothing to worry about. His son can't do it. He read a full stomach of books and ended up worse than anyone else.
My son does not dig coal, but he must go. He wants to earn enough money to marry his son, which has become his new life goal. He knows that digging coal in the cave is a very dangerous way, although it makes a lot of money. From time to time, some accidents will happen and several people will die. It can be said that before I enter the cave every day, I always take my family to the place where you will go. What he thought before was that it was dangerous but worth it. As long as his son starts to get paid after graduating from college, he will not go. Not now. We must continue now.
Finally, I couldn't get out. He died alone in the accident. His companion who was digging coal with him said that the cave had been found to have signs of collapse, so he reminded everyone to evacuate quickly. Many people listened to the warning and fled the scene quickly. But this stupid cow wouldn't listen and stayed there. As a result, he was buried. Some people say it's not that he doesn't listen, it's that he's slow. Everyone doesn't know that this stupid cow is slow! Some said, I don't think it's stupid or slow, but he's greedy. As soon as others heard of the landslide, they didn't think about anything and began to run; As for him, he still wants to carry the coal out of his backpack. Will he be greedy for backpack coal and be buried in it? Everyone argued for a long time, but they couldn't tell what stupid cow was thinking at that time.
The compensation came down. This time, the state has just adjusted the compensation standard for casualties in coal mine tunnels. Before a person died, the boss gave him tens of thousands, at most hundreds of thousands, to send his family away. Not this time. The state said it would pay a lot of compensation. As a result, he lost more than 200,000 sons. Everyone is talking about it. This stupid cow has been slow all his life. Until his death, he finally caught up with it. ...
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