What kind of jokes are funniest?

There are always jokes: 1. A girl is so ugly that she cannot get married and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let’s go, I don’t want the car. 2. 20 years ago, your father held you while you waited for the car. People laughed at the child because he looked ugly, and he cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Brother, stop crying. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it has no hair on it." Classic cold joke 1. One pig said to another pig: "Others say we are pigs, let's break up!" 2. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight - at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: "Brother, give me a break, you're blocking my cell phone signal~ ” 3. Editor: You are going to write a micro-martial arts novel that not only breaks secular ethics, but also contains many years of grievances and hatreds between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot must be gripping and there is a lot of bloodshed. When I handed in the work the next day, the whole text contained only ten words: bald donkey! How dare you compete with a poor student for your teacher's wife~ 4. A freshman was pocketed when he got off the train in Harbin. When he was frustrated, he saw someone waving to him not far away. When he passed by, the person had disappeared, leaving only his wallet that had just been taken out on the ground.

The freshmen hurriedly opened it and checked, and found that in addition to the money, their ID cards, bank cards, especially the freshmen's registration certificate and other things were still there. There was also a line of chalk on the ground next to them: Although life is hard, thieves have their ways! 5. When I went shopping, I found a store full of all kinds of clothes. There was a sign on the glass at the door: Big discount for opening a store, high-end suits 30 yuan/set, shirts 5 yuan/piece. I felt inexplicably happy: such a good thing I finally caught up! So I rushed in, and the moment I walked in, I looked up and saw: a dry cleaning shop! 6. I went to school today to receive my diploma. I was so excited that I grabbed a friend who was passing by and asked, "Hey, what is the name of this school?" The guy glared at me and said, "How do I know? I just went to college. "One!" 7. After a hard day's work, every night when I go home and open the door, I always feel a little bit of anticipation - suddenly a person jumps out from behind the door, and then covers my eyes with a smile. Of course it's just random thoughts. *^_^*, if so, he might be a thief! ~ 8. When the freshmen started school, a buddy came to our dormitory with luggage on his back. He asked the boss who was sleeping on the lower bunk: "Is your upper bunk unoccupied?" The boss was confused and didn't care, and casually replied: "No!" After hearing this, the guy used all his strength to throw a large bag of luggage onto the upper bunk - but it turned out that the upper bunk had no bed board! 9. A man met God one day. God suddenly became kind and planned to give the man a wish. God asked... Do you have any wish? The man thought about it... I heard that cats are all There are 9 lives... Then please give me 9 lives... God said... your wish will come true... One day, that person was bored... and wanted to just die. .. Anyway, he had 9 lives, so he was lying on the railroad tracks... but a train drove by... and the man still died... Why is this? Because there are 10 carriages in that train... Funny jokes 1. The weasel proposed to the little police dog, and everyone laughed and said: She is a public *** safety expert system, you are the one. The weasel was furious! He raised his buttocks and let go Angrily, he said to everyone: Do you smell the smell on my butt? I am from the petrochemical system! 2. After the two mice got married, the female mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he came to the door of the house and imitated the meowing of a cat. .The wife was not afraid but said tenderly: "Brother Cat, stop barking, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet." 3. A big mouse accidentally entered the flower shop and was chased by a small cat. The big mouse found that there was no way to escape. , he picked up a bouquet of roses and prepared to lower his resistance. When the little cat saw it, he immediately lowered his head and said shyly: I'm sorry I'm still young! 4. A and B commented on Hua Mulan's joining the army. A: This story must be It’s fake, eating, drinking, having sex and sleeping together will definitely be seen through! B: Stupid! If you slept in the same bunk with her, would you report it!? 5. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, chief! The commander patted a soldier on the chest and said: How well these muscles have been trained! Soldier: Report to the commander, I am a female soldier. 6. A peasant woman was counting tall buildings, and a liar came over: How many floors were counted? The fine is 5 yuan per floor. Farmer woman: Fifteenth floor. After paying the money, the bystander said: Silly. Farmer woman: He is stupid, in fact, I Eighteen levels were counted. 7. There was an ugly girl who could not get married and hoped to be trafficked. One day, her dream came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnappers thought she was ugly and sent her back to her place of origin. The girl refused to get out of the car and the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet. Said: Let's go, don't want the car! 8. Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. To perform artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it." 9. The son wants to sleep with his mother every night. Mom said: When you grew up and married a daughter-in-law, did you sleep with Mom? The son replied: Yes. Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father. After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child! 10. The three mice tasted wine from the United States, Japan and China. The American drinker took three steps and fell down, the Japanese drinker fell down after two steps, and the Chinese Erguotou drinker picked up a kitchen knife and shouted: "Where's the damn cat?"