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Daughter-in-law spends a lot of money, what should mother-in-law do?

Aunt Zhang is in a bad mood recently because of her mother-in-law relationship. Aunt Zhang's daughter-in-law has a good personality and is very diligent, but in Aunt Zhang's view, she spends a lot of money and always buys useless things. Although every time I come back from shopping, my daughter-in-law will buy something for Aunt Zhang, but Aunt Zhang still feels dissatisfied. It's not so extravagant for a son to work hard to earn money. Although his daughter-in-law has a job, is it not good to save money?

Aunt Zhang doesn't like her daughter-in-law, but she doesn't talk to her daughter-in-law, but she talks to her sister's old neighborhood. Some old people have nothing to do. They are either parents in the East or parents in the West. After talking about this one, they will talk about the next one. ? Photo: Source network, if there is any infringement contact, delete it and send it back. Aunt Zhang's daughter-in-law heard from her old classmates that her mother-in-law suspected her of profligacy. As a result, Aunt Zhang's daughter-in-law was unhappy. "Mom, what's your opinion? what do you think? Just tell me? What happened when you went out behind my back to speak ill of me? " Aunt Zhang is not very happy either. On the one hand, I was ashamed of being asked by my daughter-in-law, on the other hand, I blamed my old sisters and neighbors and spread what I said. Originally, I just wanted to talk to someone, so I was relieved to say it. I didn't expect to attract so many things.

In fact, no one likes to listen to the contradictions in your family. You may feel happier if you tell them, but many times others will only tell others about your family as a joke. There have been contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The root cause is that they can't understand each other because of their different lifestyles and habits. After a long time, there will be more contradictions.

The education and knowledge of the two generations are different, so the way of looking at problems is naturally different. However, many times contradictions can still be avoided.

1. My son is fine, but my daughter-in-law is not that bad. Many times, as a mother-in-law, I think my son is the best. It's normal to love your son, but we can't forget that your daughter-in-law is also someone else's daughter and the best child in the eyes of parents. When two people get married, neither one is worthy of the other. This is a matter of mutual agreement. As parents, don't make your children unhappy because of your nitpicking. The older generation always pays attention to "marry a chicken with a chicken, marry a dog with a dog", but now the times and society are progressing, and young people have more and more choices. No one is lower than anyone, and whoever depends on it. Sometimes young people quarrel because of trivial matters, and there may not be big contradictions. But as a mother-in-law, when a son quarrels with his daughter-in-law, he always feels that his daughter-in-law is unreasonable, so he is dissatisfied with her. Some older and stronger people will not only teach their daughter-in-law, but also spread her behavior among relatives and friends.

Aunt Zhang is such an example. In order to be refreshed for a while, I told my friends and neighbors what I thought of my daughter-in-law, which finally made everyone unhappy. The best way is to solve your own family affairs and communicate with each other. No matter how good old friends and sisters are, they don't like to listen to your heart, let alone those who like to laugh at others, and they will only spread it behind their backs. Family conflicts can't be solved, but may worsen. Therefore, don't tell outsiders when you encounter something, try to see if you can solve it at home first.

2. Don't insist on respect. As a mother-in-law, it is inevitable to pretend to be old and have experience. However, our daughter-in-law may not think so about what we think is right. Different life concepts make it possible for everyone to choose different lifestyles and ways of interacting with others. Even our own children may not agree, let alone the daughter-in-law who has lived in other people's homes since childhood. We can feel disapproval, but we can't force our daughter-in-law to accept our views. In fact, it is most important for couples to live well. If we force the younger generation, we think it's right, but will parents be happy if the children are unhappy?

Some mothers-in-law want to be respected by their daughters-in-law, because they are old and have life experience. However, real respect between people is bought and not taken for granted. When these mothers-in-law put on the airs of their elders and wait for their daughters-in-law to respect them, it usually backfires. Many times, it is not the daughter-in-law who is not sensible, but the mother-in-law who insists. Every family has different ways of education. I've heard of a family before. Daughter-in-law is educated in her own home before she gets married, so it's not polite. She knows that it is good to thank her in action, so her daughter-in-law will not say hello to her parents. She thinks it's too fake. When she married her husband, her in-laws were very polite, so she learned to say hello and thank you, but her mother-in-law still felt that her daughter-in-law was too rude. But in the eyes of her daughter-in-law, some things can't be forced. Even our own children don't necessarily do things and live according to our ideas. Why ask their daughter-in-law? The most important thing is to find out where the differences are, try to be tolerant and feel unbearable. When a family sits down to discuss the adjustment, everyone gives in half a step and everyone is comfortable. This is what a family should look like.

3. Don't always compare. Between people, the most taboo comparison. As a mother-in-law, I was once a daughter-in-law. One sentence that many mother-in-law likes to say is "I was not like her at that time …" Yes, every generation is different, and life is different. Every generation's daughter-in-law is different, but so should every generation's mother-in-law. It is meaningless to compare your daughter-in-law with your own experience as a daughter-in-law, because you are not from the same era. If you were bullied by your mother-in-law when you were a daughter-in-law, be kind to your daughter-in-law and don't let yourself be a rejected mother-in-law. When you work hard as a daughter-in-law, don't abandon her daughter-in-law who doesn't like housework. Her mother is also the daughter-in-law of her generation. It is precisely because the older generation works hard that the younger generation is lazier. In addition to not comparing yourself with your youth, you should also be careful not to compare your daughter-in-law with other people's homes. Some people like to pick up good things when they go out, saying that their daughter-in-law is obviously not so filial, but she always buys things for herself to look good. I know best what my wife looks like. The daughter-in-law in other people's mouths is not only the daughter-in-law in other people's homes, but also not necessarily true.

If someone else's daughter-in-law is really better than yours, don't be dissatisfied with your daughter-in-law. It was his son who chose to marry her. He was very picky about his daughter-in-law. Finally, he just criticized his son's bad heart, or his inability to marry a better wife. People who live comfortably don't like to compare with others, because they think their lives are good. Only people who are not satisfied and unwilling will compare, but the more they compare, the less they feel. This comparison has no advantage except increasing the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As a mother-in-law, I really should pay less attention to my daughter-in-law's practices and behaviors, interfere less with my son's daughter-in-law's life, and arrange more content for my life. More importantly, don't say that your daughter-in-law is not good everywhere. This is suitable, unlimited and boring. This two-volume EQ book is for the mother-in-law with high EQ. You should limit and speak properly, don't let yourself get lost in your speech, and know how to communicate.