The classic dialogue in "Westward Journey" played by Stephen Chow?

(1)

Tang Monk: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?

Wukong: Wow! Don't make any noise!

Tang Seng: You are scaring me again!

Tang Monk: Hey, hey, hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Being angry will violate the precept of anger! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things away, but why did you... Look, you threw away the stick again before I finished speaking! The Moonlight Box

is a treasure, and it is wrong for you to throw it away as it will contaminate the flowers and plants!

...

Tang Seng: What are you doing? 1

Tang Monk: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?

Wukong: Wow! Don't make any noise!

Tang Seng: You are scaring me again!

Tang Monk: Hey, hey, hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Being angry will violate the precept of anger! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things away, but why did you... Look, you threw away the stick again before I finished speaking! The Moonlight Box is a treasure, you take it

Wukong: Let go!

Tang Seng: Do you want it? Wukong, if you want it, just say it. If you don’t tell me, how will I know that you want it?

Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me that you want it. of. Do you really want it? Then you

take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ……

Wukong: Oh my god!

...

Guanyin: Huh? Sun Wukong!

Wukong: Did everyone see it? This guy talks at length about his mother-in-law and his mother-in-law, just like there is a fly all day long, buzzing... I'm sorry, not one, it's a bunch of flies surrounding you, buzzing... buzzing... buzzing... Buzz...flying into your ears

Help!

Wukong: So I grabbed the fly, squeezed its belly, pulled out its intestines, and then used its intestines to strangle him

I pulled hard on the neck, haha ??- -! The whole tongue is sticking out! I raised the knife again and dropped it -! The whole world is cleared

. Now everyone understands why I want to kill him!

(2)

Supreme Treasure: Who is speaking?

Voiceover: Five hundred years ago, your master Tang Sanzang sacrificed himself to redeem your life...

You have not yet become the real Sun Wukong Tuoshi. It's because you haven't met the person who gave you three moles yet. When

you meet him, your life will change.

Supreme Treasure: Talk to me? You didn't tell me that? Wrong person!

(3)

Supreme Treasure: Keep people under the knife! It turned out to be suicide. Why did you commit suicide?

Bai Jingjing: I’ll kill you first!

Supreme Treasure: Hero! Please let me go!

Bai Jingjing: Let you go? Give me a reason not to kill you!

Zhizunbao: Just thinking...give me a reason to kill me first!

Bai Jingjing: OK! You left me without saying a word, and you gave birth to a son to my senior sister!

Zhizunbao: You have completely misunderstood...

Bai Jingjing: Looking for death! (Swinging his sword to cut)

Supreme Treasure: No, hero! I went back to get the antidote with your senior sister to save you. Who knew it was too late? I couldn't find you when I went back.

Bai Jingjing: You lied to me!

Supreme Treasure: You don’t believe it? (Take out the jade pendant) Look!

(4)

Girl: Fairy?

Girl: Monster?

Girl: Thank you!

(5)

Zhizunbao: I don’t think there will be moonlight tonight.

Girl: Really? Bitch, you can't escape from my Wuzhishan, hehehehe!

Supreme Treasure: What is your surname?

Girl: surnamed Lin.

Zhizunbao: Oh, so you are the "Brigitte Lin" that my elder brother often calls me.

Girl: Your eldest brother?

Zhizunbao: The guy you beat up yesterday is called Zhizunbao.

Girl: What about you?

Zhizunbao: I am his twin brother, called Zhizunyu.

Girl: Supreme Treasure, Supreme Jade, want to lie to me?

Zhizunbao: Hehe, you are really smart. In fact, my eldest brother’s real name is Qin Han, and my name is Qin Xianglin.

Girl: What are you doing here?

Zhizunbao: I...I admire you very much.

…

(6)

Zhizunbao: It’s been a long night with no intention of sleeping. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t sleep. It turns out that you, Miss Jingjing, can’t sleep either. !

......

Bai Jingjing: Why did you shave your beard? Do you know that without your beard, you have no character at all?

Supreme Treasure: Really?

Bai Jingjing: Alas, I am not good at literature or martial arts. If you don’t want to be a bandit, do you want to be the number one scholar?

Zhizunbao: I have thought about it...

Bai Jingjing: Save me! Change your image and pursue your promising career as a bandit!

Zhizunbao: I know, I will definitely continue to work hard! (Turn around and run)

(7)

Bajie: In terms of wisdom and martial arts, I have always been a little taller than him, but now that there is Zixia Fairy, he may A little taller than me.

Sha Seng: I’m here!

Bajie: It’s just because you are a burden that he will be a little taller than me!

(8)

Guanyin: Sun Wukong, you beast, in order to marry the Bull Demon King’s sister, you actually gave your master Tang Sanzang as a congratulatory gift, and even invited demons and ghosts to eat Tang Sanzang together. Yan, do you admit your mistake?

Wukong: Sanbapo! You chased me for three days and three nights, but I didn't kill you because you were a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!

…

Tang Monk: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?

Wukong: Wow! Don't make any noise!

Tang Seng: You are scaring me again!

Tang Monk: Hey, hey, hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Being angry will violate the precept of anger! Wukong, you are too naughty. You told you not to throw things away, but why did you... Look, you threw away the stick again before I was done! The Moonlight Box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if it hits a child? Even if it doesn’t hit the children, it’s not a good idea to hit those flowers and plants!

…

Tang Seng: What are you doing?

Wukong: Let go!

Tang Seng: Do you want it? Can't you just make it clear? I will give it to you if you want it. Of course I won’t deny it to you if you want it! It’s impossible for me to not give it to you even if you say you want it, but I insist on giving it to you even if you say you don’t want it. Please be reasonable! Now I'll count to three, you have to make it clear whether you want...

Wukong: I'm KAO! (Knocked down Tang Monk with one punch)

Guanyin: Huh? Sun Wukong!

Have you seen it? This guy talks at length about his mother-in-law and his mother-in-law. It’s like there’s a fly buzzing around you all day long. Sorry, it’s not just one fly. It’s a bunch of flies surrounding you, buzzing... buzzing... buzzing... flying into your ears. Help! (Wukong fell to the ground and rolled, extremely painful.)

Wukong: So I grabbed the fly, squeezed its belly, pulled out its intestines, and then used its intestines to strangle its neck and pulled hard. ,Oh--! The whole tongue is sticking out! I raised the knife again and dropped it -! The whole world is purified.

Now everyone understands why I want to kill him!

…

Tang Seng: Sister, this is your fault!

Guanyin: Huh?

Tang Seng: Wukong wants to eat me. It is just an idea and has not become a fact. You have no evidence, so why is he guilty? Why don't you wait until he eats me and you have the evidence to convict him?

Guanyin: Tang Sanzang, I have heard of your wordiness a long time ago, but I didn’t expect you to be so wordy! I gave you the diamond ring to subdue this monkey, but you didn't even use it!

Tang’s Monk: Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. It is heavy in front and light in back, wide on the left and narrow on the right. It makes him very uncomfortable after wearing it. He can’t sleep all night. It will hurt me! Although he is a monkey, you can't treat him like this. If the government finds out, they will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of the diamond circle, I met an iron doctor in Chenjiacun last year. My workmanship is exquisite, my price is fair, and I am honest. Why don't I introduce you to a custom-made one?

Tang Seng, I will not embarrass you. Sister, please tell the Jade Emperor that the poor monk is willing to sacrifice his life for the sake of his life! As the saying goes, if I don’t go to hell, who will? Please understand, sister, that I am doing this simply because I want to influence the bad guys to match my Buddha’s compassionate and fearless spirit!

(9)

(Suddenly Zixia pulled out the sword and put it against the throat of Zhizunbao.)

Voiceover: The sword was away from my throat at that time It's only 0.01 centimeters, but after a quarter of the incense burning, the mistress of that sword will fall completely in love with me because I decided to tell a lie. Although I have told countless lies in my life, I think this one is the most perfect...

Zixia: If you take even half a step forward, I will kill you!

Supreme Treasure: You should do this, and I should die too. There was once a sincere love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I only regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut my throat with your sword! Look no further! If God could give me another chance, I would say three words to that girl: I love you. If I had to add a time limit to this love, I hope it would be - ten thousand years!

(10)

Tang Monk: Wukong, do you know what Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang Dang is?

Supreme Treasure: What clang clang clang clang?

Tang Seng: Dang Gang Dang Dang Dang Dang, is (singing) on ??--lY you--! Be able to accompany me to the Western Classics ...

Supreme: Hey ...

Tang Seng: On--ly you--!

...I will take the blame, I will send you to death, and I will work hard for all sentient beings!

…

Zhizunbao: I really can’t do it, let me tell you...

Tang Monk: On--On--!

Zhizunbao: On your mother! Are you finished yet? (Knocking Tang Seng down with one punch) I've already told you that I can't do it anymore, and you still want to be On-On-! On-On-! Completely ignoring whether others can bear it or not, if you do it again I will stab you to death!

Tang Monk: Wukong, just stab me to death. Life is so sad, and death is so painful. When you understand the importance of sacrificing your life for righteousness, you will naturally come back and sing this song to me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha...

(11)

Supreme Treasure: I must miss Jingjing too much.

Bodhi: Yes, you called Jingjing’s name ninety-eight times when you fainted.

Supreme Treasure: Jingjing is my wife.

Bodhi: There is another person named Zixia who you called seven hundred and eighty-four times!

Supreme Treasure: Huh? !

Bodhi: Seven hundred and eighty-four times... This Zixia must owe you a lot of money.

(Twelve)

Supreme Treasure: Come out! Grape!

Bodhi: I don’t want to spy on you, I just want to study some subtle emotions between people.

Supreme Treasure: You are just a robber, brother. Don't learn from others.

Bodhi: Robbers also have knowledge.

Supreme Treasure: Save it, go to sleep!

Bodhi: Is Zixia an exclamation mark or a period in your mind? Is your head full of question marks...

Supreme Treasure: Zixia is just a Someone I know! I told a lie before to deceive her, but now I just feel a little guilty. I hate her more and more! I'm getting married tomorrow, what do you want?

Bodhi: One day when you find out that you have fallen in love with someone you hate, this relationship is the most fatal!

Zhizunbao: But how could I fall in love with someone I hate? Could you please give me a reason? Please!

Bodhi: Do you need a reason to love someone?

Supreme Treasure: Don’t you need it?

Bodhi: Do you need it?

Supreme Treasure: Don’t you need it?

Bodhi: Do you need it?

Supreme Treasure: Don’t you need it?

Bodhi: Hey, I am studying with you, why are you so serious? Need it? (Turns around and walks away)

(Thirteen)

Tang Seng: How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? Tell me something, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

Tang Seng: So being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a human demon. (Little Demon Armor started to vomit.)

Tang Seng: Hey, he understands, do you understand?

Tang Seng: Humans and demons are both born from mothers. Different people are born from human mothers, and demons are born from demons...

Little Demon A: I accept No way--! (Draws a knife and commits suicide)

Tang Seng: What is your mother’s surname?

Little Demon B: Ah--! (Mental breakdown)

Tang Seng: Look, it is the younger sister who wants to save her elder sister now. The older sister will definitely save her sister after a while.

Tang Seng: Look, am I right? (Here, Little Demon Yi hangs himself next to Tang Seng.)

Tang Seng: You are actually faster than me, you are really good!

Tang Seng: Be careful! It's thundering! Collect clothes when it rains! (The little demon fainted.)