Looking for classic jokes, the longer the better

Results

After the midterm exam, the math teacher wanted to announce the results. He said:

"There are as many people with scores above 90 and above 80; There are just as many people who are above 80% as there are people who are above 70%."

As a joke, the whole class cheered, and a classmate asked: "So... what about the number of people who failed?"

The teacher answered unhurriedly: The number of people who failed was as many as the whole class."

With a smile

Once, during a Chinese class, In order to understand the Chinese proficiency of this overseas Chinese student, the teacher casually asked him some relevant idioms.

"Can you say an idiom to describe a person who is very special?" Are you happy? 』

The Chinese teacher asked a question and said: 『However, it is best to have a number in this idiom, such as one, two, three, 4. ．．』

The overseas student thought about it and said happily:

Ha! What a smile! The whole class laughed, and the old Chinese teacher almost fainted.

English

Once I was working as a tutor for a junior high school child, and I found the following horrific words in his English textbook:

Dad is dead (bus)

Ye is dead (yes)

Brother is dead (girls)

Mess is dead (Mis?)

... ...

Death (school)

Euphemism

The professor was giving an ethics class. He told the students how to remind others of some embarrassing things.

"For example, if you see grass clippings on a girl's butt, you You should say politely

'Girl, there are grass clippings on your shoulder'. The girl looked at her shoulder, then down---saw it.

At this time A female student stood up with her hands raised and said, "Professor, the zipper of your tie is open!"

African wild boar

The biology teacher was happily describing the characteristics of the African wild boar on the stage. Appearance,

occasionally glanced at the audience, and found that most of the students were dozing off, so he was very irritated and shouted: "You have to look at me! Without looking at me, how do you know

What does an African wild boar look like? ”

Department of Philosophy

A certain person graduated from the Department of Philosophy of Fuzhou University. After graduation, he could not find a job and remained unemployed at home. One day,

A A classmate from college recommended him to work at Muzha Zoo, and he went there happily. It turned out that a tiger in the zoo was temporarily ill and was sent to the hospital, so he was asked to put on a tiger skin and take over. I could tell it was him, so I agreed. After I put on the tiger skin and entered the animal cage, I walked around pretending to be a tiger. It didn't take long for me to enter the animal cage.

He opened it, and another tiger came in. He was so frightened that he kept retreating to the corner; and the tiger kept approaching him...

...When he finally retreated to the point of no return, the tiger The tiger spoke..

"Don't be afraid, brother! I am from the Department of Philosophy, National Taiwan University!"

Succinct and to the point

My middle school classmate Xiang Yi He is famous for his simplicity and conciseness. One day, the class meeting was unbearably long.

Finally, when everyone was asked for their opinions, he replied: "I feel like urinating." ".?

Couplets

The Chinese teacher explained the couplets on the stage, giving an example: "A certain newspaper once publicly solicited "Nantong

North Tongzhou South North Tongzhou" "Connecting the North and the South", there were many letters submitted, and one sentence was very correct, which was "the east pawn shop, the west pawn shop, the east pawn shop, the east pawn shop, the east pawn shop, the east pawn shop pawn the thing." At this time, a naughty student

Suddenly shouted: "Male students, female students, male students, male students.

”

Poly detector

Dad had a lie detector. He asked Dehua: "How was your math score today?"

Dehua replied : "A" The lie detector rang!

Dehua said again: "B" The machine also rang!

Dehua changed it and said: "C" The machine rang again !

Dad shouted angrily: "I always got A's before!"

At this time, the polygraph machine overturned!

Checking

An invigilator was staring at a student throwing dice in confusion. The strange thing was...

The student threw the same question several times...

I asked the student why?

The student replied helplessly: Is it so difficult that I don’t need to check the calculation?

Professor

“I "I brought a frog today," the zoology professor said to the students. "We just caught it from the pond. We are going to dissect the frog in this class."

He. Take out a paper box and open it carefully. Inside the box was a ham sandwich.

"Strange," the professor was very surprised, "I clearly remembered to have lunch.

Lying talk

One night, a boy's dormitory had a sleeping talk. It lasted until three o'clock in the morning, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question: "When you meet a beautiful girl, what should you say first?" A certain gentleman woke up from his dream and said: "Stop talking, let's sleep!" "

Cheating

" Polonius was expelled for cheating. ”

”What’s going on? "

"During the physical hygiene examination, he counted his ribs and was discovered. ”

Tsinghua Teacher

A young teacher from Tsinghua loves mahjong. Once, he played all night long and he had class at 7:40 the next morning

, he got off the mahjong table at 7:30 and rushed to the fourth teacher for class. It happened that the student on duty had not wiped the blackboard that day.

His senior student called out: "Which one is playing banker?" The student on duty did not dare to answer. He had to wipe it by himself, but

the blackboard eraser could not be found, so he shouted again: "Where did you put the whiteboard?"...

This section It was a Chinese class. When teaching new words, the teacher picked up the chalk and wrote "China" on the blackboard.

Then he said: "Students, please look at the whiteboard. There is a red center on it. ”

Taste

The Chinese teacher found Zhang San sleeping in class and was very angry, so he woke up Zhang San and asked: Why did you sleep in class?

But, Zhang San San refused to admit sleeping.

Zhang San: I didn’t sleep.

Teacher: Why did you close your eyes?

Zhang San: Teacher, I’m here. Read the text silently.

The teacher didn’t believe it, so why did you just keep nodding?

Zhang San: Teacher, your lecture was very good.

The teacher still didn’t believe it. , said: Then why are you drooling?

Zhang San: Teacher, your lectures are very interesting.

Do a good deed a day

The teacher asked two questions. A student asked: "Did you do one good deed a day today?"

The two students answered in unison: "Yes!"

The teacher asked: "What did you do?" ”

Student: “Let’s help an old lady cross the road.”

Teacher: “Well, that’s great, but why do we need two people to help an old lady cross the road?” ?”

Student: “Because the old lady didn’t want to cross the street.”

That’s it.

During the school’s annual trip, the boys and girls from junior high school Because students have different interests, they always play separately. Girls walked around in swimsuits, showing themselves off and enjoying the sun. The boy rolled up his pants and caught

small fish in the water.

A teacher who was looking after these children lamented: “I don’t remember girls being so

mature when I was in junior high school.

”

“Of course, it’s just that you were busy catching small fish at the time!” "Another teacher said calmly.

During class, a certain classmate was reading comics.

The teacher found out and asked: What are you doing?

"I Looking for something."

"Looking for what?"

"Looking for, looking for..."

The classmate sitting next to me replied: Looking for an excuse.

History teacher: Why did you leave early?

Bali: I have an important date.

History teacher: Which is more important, history or girlfriend?

Bali: If I'm late again, she will become history! ! !

History teacher: @##$^

Surface tension

Two biochemists were sitting in front of the laboratory drinking coffee, and a beautiful woman came from Walked outside.

The more mature and cautious biochemist saw the look of dementia on his colleague’s face,

and said: She is just like us, more than 75% is water.

The colleague still looked stupid and said: Yes, but look at their surface tension!

Team coach

This is what my professor told us. He used to teach in the United States. Some of the team’s students had never gone to school, but they had never gone to university.

After graduation, you can enter the professional basketball team and play in the NBA. After retirement, you often return to your alma mater to coach the team.

There is a student (let’s call him Jordan) who is about to graduate, but he can’t pass calculus, so he can’t graduate and play NB

A! So he asked his coach, who was also the coach of the school team, to help intercede.

Coach: "Professor, please let Jordan pass. The NBA has been waiting for him for a long time!"

Professor: "Okay! Since the coaches have come to help and beg for mercy, let's Give you one last chance"

"What is one plus one?"

Jordan immediately answered without thinking: "Two"

Coach: "Professor, Please give him another chance!"

Remember to brush your teeth! !

In a biological experiment one day, I observed my own saliva cells, looked at them with a microscope and recorded them... While everyone was observing and studying happily, there was a scream... Ah~ It turned out to be the message from the beautiful teaching assistant... The professor thought something happened

so he ran over to take a look at her microscope. He told her: next time you finish your work, remember to brush your teeth

and rinse your mouth! !

Sex Education

One day. Xiao Ming returned home after class very sadly.

My mother asked Xiao Ming: What happened?

Xiao Ming replied: Everyone in Xiaohua in the class knows where he comes from. But I don’t even know

My mother thought that it would be a good time to tell Xiao Ming about things between men and women, and to provide correct sex education

My mother began to tell Xiao Ming: Boys fall in love with each other. girl. Then get married... also mentioned how the sperm meets the egg

My mother told Xiao Ming everything she knew.

When the mother completes the teaching to her satisfaction.

Xiao Ming is still confused. Look at mom. With a few tears dripping from the corners of his eyes, he said:

Xiaohua said he was from Yilan. But my mother gave me a lot of advice and I still don’t know where I came from.

In class, a teacher was introducing Japanese surname habits to students.

She said: "If there is a Japanese name with the word 'Taro' in it, then he He must be the eldest son. If there is the word 'Jiro' in his name, then he must be the second son... Now, who can name a Japanese with such a name?"

A student stood up and answered loudly: Yamamoto Isoroku

The teacher was giving a lecture above, when a little boy raised his hand and said: "Teacher, I want shit."

The teacher listened to the instruction and said to the student: "You can use another more civilized way to say it."

The student thought for a while and said: "Teacher, I want to vomit in my butt."

A student asked the teacher how to write the word "dung". The teacher forgot for a while and had to say:

"It's right next to your mouth, why can't it come out?"

p>

My younger brother, who is in the fourth grade of elementary school, is really fat and everyone often makes fun of him.

One day, the teacher asked a class of their classmates to start writing down "things they do to help the family every day" in the contact book.

The younger brother couldn't think of anything, so in the end he had to let his mother do it for him. fill in. She wrote in the contact book: "I help the family with meals every day."

The teacher's comment was: "I can see that you work hard!"

A man’s thoughts

Miller, a top student majoring in agriculture at a certain university, returned to his hometown during the summer vacation. A neighbor’s wife wanted to raise chickens to get rich, so she came to ask him for advice. According to the wife, Miller

The chicken coop, chicken food and other data provided told her that it would be more suitable to raise about 30 hens and one or two roosters. At the end of the summer vacation, Miller wanted to go see how his "imagination" was implemented. But he was stunned in front of the chicken coop. In addition to 30 hens, there are also 30 big roosters. "Mother, if you want to raise 30 hens, one or two roosters are enough. If there are too many roosters, they won't be able to lay eggs, and it will be a waste of food." "You mean, let one or two roosters suffice?" >

One rooster occupies so many hens?" said the neighbor's wife with a blushing face. "Yes." "This is just what you men think, I won't do it!"

Graduation Ceremony

At the graduation ceremony, the principal announced that the top student in the grade would come to the stage to receive the award. , but after shouting several times in a row, the student slowly walked onto the stage. Later, the teacher asked the student: "What's wrong? Are you sick? Or did you not hear clearly just now?" The student replied: "No, I was afraid that other students did not hear clearly."

What is courage...

During the mid-term exam in the philosophy department of a university, they taught an application question about what courage is. A student wrote "This is it" on the exam paper

and handed it in. ． ． The result was an A...

Relativity

One day when Xiao Ming ran into the classroom, he stood up again, and then left the classroom again, which happened to... The teacher turned around

When he saw Xiao Ming’s back...the teacher started to curse... Said... People nowadays are less and less aware of the benefits of reading...

...The teacher continued... Well…he doesn’t take my class…. I pawned him... The teacher asked the monitor: What was the name of the student just now? The monitor said…. He is from the next class... I just went to the wrong classroom...

Joke in the dormitory

I have a classmate who never buys toilet paper. Whenever he needs it, he goes to others to get it. Once I saw him taking toilet paper from me. I said to him angrily: Why do you always take my toilet paper? Don’t you know how to buy it yourself? Hey

hey Yile, said: Don't be so stingy! Isn’t it just some toilet paper? I’ll just give it back to you after I use it!

Reaction

One day, Joe walked into the classroom with all his hair standing tall and straight. The teacher asked what was going on.

Qiao said: This is a reaction from the hairspray.

On the second day, Qiao walked into the classroom, his head shining brightly, and the teacher asked about it.

Jo said: This was my dad’s reaction to hairspray.

___

Tsinghua Military Training

Recently, Tsinghua University dug holes everywhere because of laying cables.

One day, a classmate from another school came to play. First he saw pits everywhere.

Later he saw rows of students in military uniforms training. He couldn’t help but sigh loudly: Tsinghua’s military training is the real way Yeah, so many trenches were dug.

Globe

The director visited a certain school and saw a globe in the classroom, so he asked Student A: "Tell me why this globe is tilted

Twenty-three and a half degrees?" Student A was very frightened and replied: "I didn't do it." At this time, another student B walked into the classroom. The director asked again, and Student B replied: "You know, I just came in and I don't know anything."

The director asked the teacher puzzledly what was going on. The teacher said apologetically, "You can't blame them. The globe was already like this when you bought it." Seeing that the director's face was getting more and more ugly, the principal quickly stepped forward and explained, "I'm ashamed to say that.

Shame," the principal said with a smile: "Because the school's funds are limited, we bought goods from street vendors."

The teacher asked Xiaoqiang: "Who burned the Yuanmingyuan? ?" Xiaoqiang said aggrievedly, "Teacher, no, it wasn't me."

"What? You, you," the teacher said angrily. After school, Xiaoqiang's father came, and the teacher said to him: "Today I asked your son who burned Yuan Mingyuan, and he actually said he didn't burn it. Isn't this ridiculous?" Xiaoqiang's father blinked and said hesitantly: "Teacher, it's really... It's not him. Burning, our children will not do this.

Otherwise..., Let's... compensate, okay?

Tsinghua's masters

Tsinghua deserves to be the home of academic science and technology. The masters of the cafeteria have been influenced by the sun and the moon, so we need to look at it with admiration.

It is said that one day a man from the south was queuing up to buy Xiaolong Baozi.

He said to the master: Here are four Baozi. p>Master: How many?

This man: si?

Master: How many?

The man suddenly said, " ten, of course

The master replied: "I see!" Then he quickly forked ten buns for this man, and added: "I said no

It's over, So laborious! "

Everyone was stunned...

As soon as Xiao Ming got home today, he said to his parents: "The teacher asked a question at school today and only I can answer it."

My parents asked, "What's the problem?" "The teacher asked: Who didn't turn in their homework?"

___

Teacher Ask the students: How to explain that "sharing pain with others will reduce the pain by half"?

Xiao Lun replied: If my father beats me, I will beat my brother immediately!

___

Professor: xxx, please shake the guy next to you awake. This is class, not sleeping time

Student: Professor, please Come and shake him up, you made him fall asleep

___

At the beginning of every semester, there is always an advertisement for sale of used textbooks on the notice board. One of them read: "'Introduction to Mind Science'. Fifty dollars. Never used." Next to the signature was written: "Must sell."

No. The next day, a note was added to the advertisement: "The price is fair. But have you really never used it?" The signature was "Possible Buyer." Under the confession, in different handwriting, it was written: "I can guarantee it!" The signer was "the professor who reviewed his test paper."

Self-admiration

When I was a freshman, a good-looking roommate liked to look in the mirror and feel sorry for himself. Even when the exam was approaching, he still couldn't bear to put it down

. The room manager was worried about her homework and tried to persuade her, but she sighed and said, "Isn't beauty a mistake?"

"Don't worry," the usually taciturn room manager suddenly said, "You have never I have made this mistake before."

Three school girls were talking about a man who came to school to ask for marriage.

A (junior undergraduate): How tall is he and is he handsome?

B (Master’s student): What kind of job does he do and what is his monthly salary?

C (doctoral candidate): Where is he! ! !

(Purely fictitious, please don’t mind)

___

Welcome

At the beginning of the new semester, we senior students went to the station to welcome New classmates.

I saw a little girl standing next to a big box and was at a loss, so I took the initiative to help her lift the box. Unexpectedly, the box weighed more than

1,000 kilograms, and I was too embarrassed to put it down, so I had to try my best to support it.

After walking a few steps, the girl said to me: If you can’t carry it anymore, just get out.

As soon as I heard this, I immediately felt angry, put down the box, and glared at her.

The girl was stunned for a few seconds, then pointed to the bottom of the box with a blushing face and said to me: I mean the wheels.

Interpretation

A university professor said to his students: "In ancient times, 'Lu' means kissing, mouth to mouth, very vivid;" one of them

The student asked: "If 'LV' means kissing, then how does 'Pin' Yu explain that three people kissed together?"

The professor was about to get angry. , another classmate stood up and said: "I think the word 'pin' is easy to explain, but what about 'qi'yu? What's the point of four people

and a dog?" The whole class burst into laughter, and the professor threw it Go away with the book.

___

The boy can be taught

Teacher: "What is your name and why are you making trouble?"

Student: "My name is Wang Xiaodai."

Teacher: "You must be polite when speaking to the teacher, you must use the title 'Sir', you know?"

Student: "Yes, my name is Wang Xiao. Mr. Dumb."

I'll trample you to death...

A domestically renowned botany professor and his teaching assistant were studying new varieties of plants. Suddenly the assistant asked the professor: "Teacher

What should you do if you encounter an unknown plant while taking a practical class in the field? The professor replied: In order to avoid classmates

asking questions, I usually walk at the front and then trample all the plants I don’t know to death.

One day in the physics and chemistry class, the teacher announced that there would be a quiz in the next class. Xiao Ming nervously raised his hand and asked the teacher if the test would be difficult. The teacher only said: "It's very simple."

I was so happy that everyone clapped and applauded, but

After the exam, everyone did miserably. How could it be easy? So Xiao Ming asked the teacher again,

The teacher said: I am not wrong, it is very simple, the remaining 90% is very difficult!

There is a professor who tells some jokes to cheer up the students every time he teaches in order not to make the students feel bored

, but

The girls thought that the professors were telling dirty jokes, and they thought it was unacceptable

They felt that professors should have the dignity of professors, so they discussed together

What if the professor next time If you say anything else, stand up and walk out of the classroom immediately

Unfortunately, when the boy found out about it, he ran to tell the professor

who said it didn't matter and I'll settle it. , and then

one time in class, the professor started talking again!! He said: I heard that there is a shortage of prostitutes in Paris recently!! When the girls heard this, they started to throw each other around.

With a wink, they wanted to say that the professor was telling dirty jokes again and were about to

implement their plan. Just as they stood up and were about to walk out

In the classroom, the professor said: Well! These female classmates, don’t be in such a hurry! The plane to Paris will only leave tomorrow!!

-- -------------------------------------------------- ---

The last question in the final exam of a certain subject (the teacher of this subject is a killer):

After seeing the final exam question, which song do you want to order? Myself: (1) Kitty Chen’s heartache (2) Wan Fang

Everything is as good as new (3) Xin Xiaoqi realizes (4) Xin Xiaoqi forgets (5) Youke Li Lin admits his mistake (6) Others

Each question is worth 4 points.

--------------------------------------------- -------------

A foreign female student studying Chinese at a certain university used the idiom "love at first sight" to make a sentence: "It was done last night All the homework,

I couldn't help but cry out when I saw it!" "No, you can't

separate the idioms," the young male teacher corrected. "Today

I fell in love with you at first sight when I arrived at school in the morning, so I said hello to her." "The words don't convey what I meant. It's still wrong." She looked at the male teacher and said, "I fell in love with you at first sight... .

....""It's right this time! Huh? No,..." The male teacher blushed and said: "The sentence is right, but the object is wrong."

-------------------------------------------------- ------

The teacher who teaches arithmetic asked: "Someone lent 50% yuan, and the monthly interest

was one cent. How much interest can be collected after two years? ?"

The whole class was busy doing calculations one after another. Only the banker's son sat still.

Why don't you do the calculations?" "For such a low score of one point. I'm not interested in the interest." ...

-------------------------------- --------------------------

No problem

The adjustment of departments in a certain university has been successfully completed. Departments, no matter how big or small, are listed as "college".

At the conclusion of the meeting, the principal made a generous speech: "From now on, there will be no department in our school. ”

The audience burst into applause.

-------------------------------- --------------------------

Teacher: Have you shown the report card to your parents?

Student: Yes.

Teacher: Then why didn’t the parents stamp it?

The student rolled up his sleeves to reveal his scarred arms: Cover them here.

--------------------------------------------- -------------

Singular and plural

Teacher: "Nick, do you understand singular and plural?"

Nick: "I understand."

Teacher: "Tell me, is 'pants' singular or plural?"

Nick: "The top is singular, the bottom is plural ."

Answer

In the English class, the teacher was talking about the differences between Chinese and Western languages. A student raised his hand and asked: "Teacher,

'dumpling' in English "What do you say?" The teacher looked angry and shouted: "Ignorant people!"

Chinese people don't eat dumplings! Write "confusing" on it, and then ask a student: "Can you please tell me what this idiom means?" The student stood up and pushed up his glasses for myopia.

, looked at the four words on the blackboard carefully, and couldn't understand it after reading for a long time. Finally, he said helplessly: "Teacher, I can't see clearly." The teacher said: "You are right. , please take a seat

”

This has not happened yet

A boy visited his girlfriend in the girls’ dormitory, and the doorman of the dormitory asked him to fill out a visitor form.

Please fill in your name, gender, address, age, etc. ． ． When filling in the last column "relationship", the boy thought for a long time before writing the words "it hasn't happened yet".

A clever solution

The principal of a middle school faced a problem when the older female students in the school started wearing lipstick. When they apply lipstick in the bathroom, they leave lip prints on the mirror. He thought of a way to stop the problem before it got out of hand. So he called all the girls wearing lipstick

and asked them to gather in the bathroom at 2 p.m. When the girls went to the bathroom at 2 o'clock, they found the principal and housemaster waiting there. The principal explained to them

This problem made the housemaster have to clean the bathroom mirror every night. He thinks girls don't understand the seriousness of the problem so he wants them to see for themselves how difficult it is to clean the mirror. Then the housemaster began to demonstrate. The warden took out a long-handled brush from the box, took it to the nearest toilet, dipped it in water, then walked to the mirror and started scrubbing it.

No one left their lip marks on the mirror after that.

Answering without hesitation

Peter is a smart boy. But because of his playful nature, his academic performance was not very good. Once, the Chinese teacher asked him: "Do you know whose work "Rome

Europe and Juliet" is?" Peter lazily replied: "How could I know? For someone as old as me Children don’t like to read Shakespeare’s works.

Dad and Mom

Teacher: “One is long and one is short, one is coming quickly.” Slow, short ones are too lazy to move, and long ones are too busy. Guess what this is?"

Student: "Dad and Mom"

In. In the general reading room of Tsinghua Library, there is a boy A sitting, and opposite him sits a very beautiful Miss B. A looks at B from time to time, and hopes that B can look at himself. At a glance,

Two hours have passed, and Ms. B is still immersed in reading. At this time, Mr. C, who is sitting next to A, let out a

very smelly and silent fart, B. The lady covered her nose and raised her head to glare at A...

On the day of the exam, the professor suddenly announced that the exam would be postponed. A student immediately stood up and protested,

said the postponement would disrupt his plans to review other subjects.

The professor immediately asked, "What's your name?"

"Wang Daming" the student's tone softened a little. "Okay, Mr. Wang, I will give you a first-class grade,

and exempt you from taking the exam, because you have the courage to speak out and speak out, which is the most important purpose of education."

The student replied, "In that case, my real name is Li Xiaohua."

After handing out the test papers

The supervisor said: "If you are unclear about anything in the test paper, you can raise it Ask questions with your hands."

Bailan A: "Teacher! The student in front of me was very unclear about the test paper, and he didn't even ask!"

A certain candidate did not answer the last question during the math test. He knew how to do it, and he peeked

into other people's answers, but he still couldn't figure out the process. When he was about to hand in the paper, he had an idea and wrote on the paper: The calculation process is abbreviated. .Then copy the answer at the back.

After reading it, the marking teacher put a "?" Can I help you with your homework? Brother: I don't dare to ask for it. Yesterday you wrote "a meal" as "a ton of rice". My classmates all laughed at me for being a "big rice bucket".

Mom: How many times have I told you that if you don’t understand, you should ask the teacher. Child: I asked, but the teacher refused to tell.

Mom: When? Child: Just yesterday during the exam .

Classroom Inscription

It doesn’t matter if you get a high score, just pass. It doesn’t matter if you study deeply, cheating will make you useless. This is a classroom, but I am free.

Novel Biography Go fast, flip through magazines frequently, think about playing Go, and watch movies. You can write love letters, and think about women. There is no disturbing sound of books, and no hassle of reviewing. Although it is not a dance venue, it is comparable to Amusement Hall,

He thought: I got a diploma.

Reciting scriptures

A rich man discovered that the teacher he hired for his son was actually in Teach his son to memorize verses

memorial verses for his father when he passed away.

"Teacher, I am still strong, how can you teach him this?"

"Don't worry, by the time your son can recite this scripture, you may be a hundred years old . 』

Man created by God

The teacher said to the students: "Children, the principal will come to ask you questions in the afternoon, and you must answer them well.

Benjamin, you are the first one. The principal will ask you who created it? Just answer that it was created by God. Tom, you are the second one. The principal will ask you who created it? Who are the people? Just answer Adam and Eve.

Please remember, don’t give the wrong answer. In the afternoon, just when the principal was about to come, Benjamin suddenly felt sick about his stomach.

The pain was unbearable and I went to the toilet. The principal walked into the classroom and saw that the first seat was empty, and asked Tom who was in the second seat: "Who created you? Tom answered: "Adam and Eve." The principal was anxious: "What?"

Don’t you know that you were created by God? "Tom: "The man created by God went to the toilet because of a stomachache.

”

What are the benefits of public places around the college for academic studies?

1. Discotheque: English

2. Billiard Hall: Mathematics and Physics

3. Tavern: Chemistry

4. Hotel: Biology

A student threw a coin into the air: "If it's heads, go to the movies. If it's tails, go to the movies." Go play billiards when you get up,

If the coin stands up, go fucking study. "

Elephant painting

When handing in homework to the art teacher, one student only handed in a piece of white paper.

The teacher asked: "Where is the painting? ”

The student answered: “Here?” "He pointed to the white paper and said.

Teacher: "What are you drawing? ”

Student: “Cows eat grass. ”

Teacher: “Where is the grass?” ”

Student: “The cow has eaten all.”

”

Teacher: “Where is the cow?” ”

Student: “After all the grass has been eaten, what are the cows still doing standing there?” "

Qu

Father: "Son, why have you become the worst student in the class? "Son

: "Can you blame me? It turned out that the worst students were transferred to other schools. ”

Inertia

Inertia Example The physics teacher was teaching the lesson about inertia, and a student was talking nonsense below.

The teacher gave him a hint, but he still I go my own way. Teacher: What did I just say?

Student: Inertia

Teacher: Please give me an example

Student: I just spoke below. Although you hinted at me, I couldn't stop immediately

This is inertia

Angry

The teacher asked: The article said that bees add to the garden. What does it mean to be angry? A student replied: The bee steals the nectar, and the flower becomes angry! The student couldn't stop laughing after hearing this. . If the flowers are not angry, how can they bloom?

Create a sentence

The teacher asked the students to use the word "innocent" to create a sentence,

Xiao Ming wrote: It's so hot today, I need to take a shower when I get home!

Discovery, invention, development

In class, the teacher asked everyone to make sentences using "discovery", "invention" and "development". A classmate stood up and said: "My father discovered my mother, my father and my mother invented me. I

grew up gradually.

Similarity

Student: "Teacher, what did you write in my exercise book?"

Teacher: "Write the words clearly"

Dream

Student: "Teacher, I have dreamed that I became a composer. How can I

turn my dream into reality?" Teacher: "Sleep less!"

Curse

Tommy: "Teacher, Rabin just scolded me, let me see the devil."

Teacher: " So, what did you do?"

Tommy: "I'm here, teacher."

Uncomfortable

Son: "Isn't that right? When you feel uncomfortable, you shouldn't give him any mental or physical stimulation, right? "Dad: "Of course."

Son: "Okay, that's it. In this exam, I failed two subjects. I feel very sad now."

Dad: "You..."