Jokes about writing wrong Chinese characters

In primary school Chinese class, the teacher said: Chinese characters are a broad and profound language. For example, the character for horse is very similar to horse, and the character for wood is very similar to wood...

This At this time, Xiaopang stood up: Teacher, what are those bumps and convexities?

At this time, I am evil!

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Enter a butcher The butcher said to the cow: You are awesome? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: Do you know me? The cow shook his head.

The butcher stabbed the cow in the buttocks, and the cow jumped in pain. into the river.

The king thought the butcher was rough, so the butcher asked to try again, and the king agreed. The cow was pulled to the river again.

The butcher stepped forward and said to the cow: "I know you." Do you want me? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: Can’t you return the cow? The cow shook his head.

The butcher smiled and said, “Do you know what to do?” The cow turned around and jumped into the river< /p>

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Only eat a ton

The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The husband's father called his in-laws in the city and asked: "How many people can come? So we can make preparations."

The in-laws called back and said: "Not many people can come, just prepare a ton of rice." He put "Dun" is written as "ton".

Soon I received another telegram from the countryside: "The wedding has been postponed for one month because it is difficult to get a ton of rice."

03. Dr. Qu Yuan

< p> In the history class, the teacher asked the student: "Who is Qu Yuan?"

"He is a doctor." The student replied.

"Nonsense!"

"Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor!"

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There are "aircrafts" available

A salesman went on a business trip to Guangzhou. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to take a plane there. , because he was afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "You can take advantage of it, do you want to take it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately called back: "If you can take advantage of it, take it." "

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air tickets because he was not of a high level and would not be reimbursed for flying. The salesman took out the manager to call back, and the manager was stunned. Stay

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Place name related

On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more reserved.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate introduced us to us with a smile and pointed at the reserved classmate. He said: "He is from Myanmar, so he is quite shy." Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, drank it down in one gulp, and then said: "I am from Yangon." A collection of jokes about Chinese characters 20 words

1. Where, where

Hemingway didn’t know where the Chinese were! where! It's a self-effacing word. Once when he attended a wedding, he politely praised the bride for being very beautiful. The groom beside him said on behalf of the bride: Where! where! Unexpectedly, this foreign man was shocked! So I said in blunt Chinese: The hair, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth are all beautiful! The result was a burst of laughter from the entire audience.

2. The True Story of Oppi-Dan

Director Jia said excitedly: Today the union invoice will be used to watch the movie "The True Story of Oppi-Dan".

A young man smiled: Director Jia, you read it wrong. It was "The True Story of Ah Q".

What? Did I read it wrong? I've been playing cards for decades, why don't I know the preserved man? Go away?

3. The old man lost his teeth

The brothers took their grandfather to the hospital for treatment.

When my brother saw that the age on the registration form was printed incorrectly as "ling", he said to the doctor: "This character is missing a tooth."

That’s a slip of the tongue, the doctor said: Because we are a clinic for the elderly!

4. Dr. Qu Yuan

In the history class, the teacher asked the same student: Who is Qu Yuan?

Is a doctor. students answer.

Nonsense!

Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor!

5. Other words

A salesperson in a store wrote four words on the blackboard: Now on sale.

A customer next to me said: Comrade, you wrote a different word for retail zero.

The salesperson glared at the customer and said: Come on, there is a standing knife beside the word!

6. New interpretation of Huizi

Son: Dad, how do you write the simplified Chinese character Huizi?

Father: There is a cloud under the character human.

Son: Why?

Father: When in a meeting, you just say what others say: this is just echoing what others say.

7. Why care?

Director Hu always writes wrong words, pronounces wrong words, and makes lots of jokes, but he never learns with humility.

Once, when his unit held a commendation meeting, he pronounced Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused a roar of laughter. He probably mispronounced something again.

The secretary reminded: There are two more points!

Director Hu wanted to correct him, but he was afraid of losing face, so he put on a straight face and said: Don't laugh, everyone, it doesn't matter if you miss a few points! We are all revolutionary comrades, why should we care about these two points?

8. Each other

Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said: Mr. Dong, I have admired you for a long time, I have admired you for a long time. Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou’s business card and said: Are you Mr. Ji? Mr. Zhou was not happy after hearing this: My surname is Zhou, why did you skin me? How did I offend you? Mr. Chen said: My surname is Chen. If you cut off my ears, you don’t want me to skin you?

9. Mandarin

Southerners often speak Mandarin reluctantly, as the saying goes, it is the so-called blue and green Mandarin.

During the Republic of China, there was a certain person who was very envious of being an official, so he put on official airs, pretended to be official, walked in official steps, and spoke official language all day long. One day at breakfast, he said to his family: "Go to my porridge box and get my green head." The family didn't understand and stared down. A was furious and shouted: You bastard! Something that doesn’t work! Don’t you know that porridge is called porridge in Mandarin, and bamboo has the same pronunciation as porridge, so isn’t a bamboo box a porridge box? In the official dialect, "tou" is called "tou", and "tou" has the same pronunciation with "bean". There is a pack of mung beans in my box, isn't it a "green head"?

10. Sir

A: Do you know, did humans come first, men or women?

B: Let’s have a man first.

A: Based on what?

B: I don’t know this. Isn’t it an ironclad proof that our men call us sir?

11. Making up for the lost situation

A certain teacher has quite new ideas in interpreting books. One day, I talked about how it is not too late to repair the dead sheep. Two sentences said: Death, death, sheep, the name of the animal, Bu, offering, Lao, Tailao. Taken together, it means: If the sheep dies, then go to offer sacrifices to Tailao. It's not too late. This means that people do not need to kill live sheep for sacrifice.

12 Talent Recruitment

Manager: Our company is recruiting talents, and talented people must sign up.

No. 1 (Part 1)

Manager: What is your name?

No. 1: My name is Snake Glasses.

Manager: I think it sounds better to call you cobra. What kind of word is that?

No. 1; a door with a dog inside. Of course it is a door!

Manager: Go, go, go, you local leopard!

On the 2nd

Manager: What’s your name!

No. 2: I call Wang Dachui, and I will hit whoever you ask me to!

Manager: What is this word?

No. 2: A door. There is a dog in the door, so of course it is a dog!

Manager: Go, go, go, a bunch of useless things.

On the 3rd

Manager: What’s your name?

No. 3: Who am I called?

Manager: Well, what a unique name. What kind of word is it?

No. 3: This is called illiteracy. As long as I don’t know the words, it is called illiteracy.

Manager: Oh my god, genius. Where is the address?

No. 3: Psychiatric Bed No. 12!

Manager: President, I found a genius who lives in bed 12 of the mental hospital! Oh my god! Mentally ill prisoner.

13 A man and a woman were sleeping

One day, a chemistry class was being held. A classmate was dozing off during class. Unexpectedly, he was discovered by the chemistry teacher. The teacher said in a loud voice: We are dozing off today. The knowledge is so important, and there is actually a man and woman sleeping together. The whole class was agitated, but in fact they were quite far apart

14. Learning English

Xiao Ming, who likes to learn English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally bumped into a foreigner while walking. He said embarrassedly: "I am sorry."

"I am sorry, too." the foreigner replied.

"I am sorry three." Xiao Ming replied immediately.

"What are you sorry for?" the foreigner asked.

"I am sorry five" Xiao Ming said.

15. Eat standing

A foreign girl married to China. During breakfast, she was told that she could not eat fried dough sticks: You eat it with dip.

She stood up immediately and was told to eat it with dipping!

She was confused and said aggrievedly: Let me eat standing up. I have already stood up, where should I stand?

16. Make something after seeing a chicken

Once upon a time, there was a landowner who loved to eat chicken. The tenants rented his land and had to pay the rent. They had to give away a chicken first. Give it to him.

There was a tenant named Zhang San. At the end of the year, he went to pay rent to the landlord and share the land for the second year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. Then he told the landowner about the land he was assigned the next year. When the landowner saw that his hands were empty, he said with his eyes raised to the sky: This land is not open to three types of Zhang San. Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken from the bag. Come out.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said: If you don’t give it to Zhang San, give it to someone else

Zhang San said: Your words become so fast!

The landlord replied: What you said just now was nonsense, but what you said now was made based on the opportunity.

17. My ears are here

Newly appointed The magistrate of the county was from Shandong. Because he wanted to have a child, he said to the master: Buy me two bamboo poles.

The master thought that the bamboo poles in Shandong dialect meant pork liver, and he quickly agreed. I hurriedly ran to the butcher shop and said to the shopkeeper: The new county magistrate wants to buy two pork livers. You are a sensible person and you should know what you are doing!

The shopkeeper is a smart man and he understands it as soon as he hears it. , immediately cut off two pig livers, and also gave a pair of pig ears as a gift.

After leaving the butcher shop, the master thought to himself: What the master asked me to buy was pork liver, and of course these pig ears are mine. So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Returning to the county office, he reported to the county magistrate: Report back to the master, I bought pork liver!

The magistrate was angry when he saw that the master bought pork liver. He said: Where are your ears? When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied: The ears are here, they are in my pocket! Chinese characters homophonic for a joke

Chinese characters homophonic for a joke

1. Fireworks on New Year's Eve - a riot of colors

2. Carrying water and washing vegetables - killing two birds with one stone; getting the best of both worlds

3. Wu Song watching the ducks - -Heroes have no place to play

4. Little Bald takes off his hat - Tou Ming (picture title)

5. Zhang Fei fights Guan Gong - forgetting the old relationship

6 , Zhu Bajie sits in the prison room - an unjust injustice

7. Tang Monk's eyes - does not know good or bad people

8. Fire reaches his forehead - imminent

9. The wind blows the lamp grass - the heart is uncertain

10. Cao Cao met Jiang Qian - a big bad luck

11. It snowed in June - hard-earned: rare

p>

12. Rushes made of strings - not worth talking about (playing)

13. Bears practicing tricks - making a living

14. Strong wind Blowing down the handsome flag - a bad start

15. Practicing swimming in a big cesspool - really not afraid of death (shit)

16. The rotten half of the head at the intersection - kicking Typed out

17. The murderous monk recited Buddhist scriptures - fake compassion; fake charity

18. Li Kui's verdict - the strong is justified

19. Old Peacock Opening the tail - being sentimental

20. Earthworms in the field - full of doubts (mud)

21. Han Xiangzi playing the flute - extraordinary

22. The dwarf is chosen as the general - he can also make do with it

23. Guan Yu sells meat - no one dares to come

24. Zhu Bajie brags - talks big words

25. Zhuge Liang borrowed arrows - nothing to return

26. Sedan flowers watching a show - poor and happy

27. Flies on tigers - cannot be swatted

28. A five-tooth iron rake scratches the itch - hard hands

29. Boil the ball in a paste pot - you are still angry when you say you are a jerk

30. The chicken-hugging woman winked - rolled her eyes

31. It rained heavily on a hot day - a fierce burst; it won't last

32. Goat disease is lingering

The death of a sheep - everyone has suffered it

33. Erhu in Dongyue Temple - nonsense

34. Throwing bombs in the pit - you aroused public outrage (dung)

35. Hit the back of the neck with a handful of powder - the glaze is reversed

36. Guard the nest door to catch chickens - leave no one behind

37. The monkey climbs the bamboo pole - jumps up and down

38. Wu Dalang sells hedgehogs - pricks the hand

39. Sitting in an official position for thousands of miles - for food and clothing

40. The man in the salt field - likes to meddle in (salty) things

41. The dung beetle lies on the road - loading the car

42. Zhu Bajie laughs at the monkey - doesn't know how to be ugly< /p>

43. Pictures of Ladies in the Garbage Heap - Nonsense (Painting)

44. Guan Yunchang Walks to Maicheng - Disaster Is Coming

45. Spring Tea Tip - - Fresh and tender

46. Dandelions blown by the wind - light and fluttering

47. Strong wind blows down the sycamore tree - others will tell the difference

48 , The turtle somersaults - one (turtle) rule after another

49. The python wraps around the plowshare - cunning (wringer)

50. The monkey climbs the fruit tree - the belly is full

51. Heavy snow falls in the sea - visible, but intangible

52. Zhang Fei sells tofu - people are strong but goods are not strong

53 , The monk picked up the grate - it was useless

54. Planting peonies in the chest - he was very happy

55. There was a thunder in the clouds for a long time - shocking the earth

56. The dog chewed the cupboard - he couldn't eat it

57. There is an eldest brother and a second brother - who is the eldest?

58. Zhu Bajie's martial arts - beat him up with a rake

59. A mold for making bricks, a scabbard for inserting a knife - a frame within a frame

60. The dwarfs queue up in a long queue - a joke with the homophonic pronunciation of the penultimate Chinese character

The proverb is Chinese labor A special form of language created by the people in their daily life practice since ancient times. It is a short, funny, and vivid sentence. It consists of two parts: the former part plays the role of "introduction", like the face of a riddle, and the latter part plays the role of "backing", like the answer to a riddle, which is very natural and appropriate. In a certain language environment, usually by saying the first half and "resting" the second half, you can understand and guess its original meaning, so it is called "Xiehouyu". The Chinese civilization has a long history. Five thousand years of vicissitudes of history have accumulated, refined, and condensed into the wonderful art of Chinese language. Among them, the idioms are characterized by their unique expressive power. It gives people deep thought and enlightenment and has been passed down through the ages. It reflects the unique customs, traditions and national culture of the Chinese nation, tastes life, understands philosophy and enhances wisdom.

The scholar writes poetry - has two hands (poem)

The bald man takes off his hat - the first name (Ming Dynasty)

The girl from the He family gives the Zheng family - Zheng Suitable (Zheng He's)

Punching a boat in the belly - expert (navigation)

Measuring rice with a turtle lid - what sound (liter)

Rice pot There is smoke in the bed - the rice is sticky

Light mosquito coils under the bed - nothing to say (mosquito)

Frozen tofu - difficult to handle (mix)

< p> Stir-frying hot beans in a cold pot - the noisier (frying), the colder it becomes

The Kitchen God sticks to the Door God - there are words (paintings) in the words (paintings)

Sand and stone on bluestone —— Real (stone) beat solid (stone)

Boating on the beach — beached (raised) shallow

Hornless cow — fake scold (horse)

Not rushing to the temple fair - don’t be anxious (crowding)

A coffin without a bottom - not a prosperous person

Don’t have money to buy conches - save some (suck) < /p>

The pregnant woman crosses the single-plank bridge - brave and brave

The blind man enters the opium den - modern (touching the lamp)

Bag in the air ——Pretend to be crazy (pretending to be windy)

Song Jiang’s military advisor—Wu Yong (Wu Yong)

The old woman goes to the chicken coop—Idiot (running away)

The straw hat seller throws away the pole - pay attention (leave the rope)

My brother is not at home - Shao Lai (sister-in-law comes)

The nephew lights the lantern - as usual (Uncle Zhao)

The rain hits the yellow plum head - bad luck (unlucky)

Half a tael of cotton - no discussion (no bomb)

The bald man holding an umbrella - lawless (no hair, no bullets) days)