Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Company joke crosstalk
Company joke crosstalk
A: Everyone is here to listen to cross talk!
B: Hey! Yes!
There are many people here today! I am very pleased!
You've said this word 800 times. Can you think of something new?
A: Is it fresh?
Yes, the old one!
Ok, let's do something new. There are so many people. I am very happy! Me!
Hello! You're changing your dressing!
I am so excited that so many people come to listen to our cross talk. I am so excited. My heart is surging and my blood is boiling! (begins to undress)
B: Hey! What are you doing? You still save it! Put it on quickly! It's cold, don't freeze!
A: Bah!
What do you mean?
I take off my clothes. What got in your way? Do you care? Eat radish and worry about you I'm telling you, I've been annoyed by others since I was a child, okay?
What do you mean?
Who cares about me? Who am I worried about? As soon as I tell you in a hurry, I dare to use any means. You control me, I will tease you.
B: What? What? What are you doing in public?
I made you laugh to death!
People care about you. This is for your own good, you know?
A: For me! Go and play! What is good for me! I long for freedom, you know? I have longed for a free and carefree life since I was a child. Do you know what my childhood dream was?
B: I don't know!
My dream is to become a bird with a pair of little wings. I can go anywhere and do anything I want. If I don't like you, I will peck your ass at once, and I will disfigure you!
B: Good! what do you think?
A: You just didn't have a girlfriend at that time. You dare to find one, I'll ruin it for you!
B: Good! What heart!
A: I want to go to the seaside, so I will go to the seaside! I want to go to the mountain, so I will go to the mountain! I want to go to Mars, so I will go to Mars!
B: Hey! Wait a minute, wait a minute. What you said before is quite reliable, but what you said later is uncertain! You can't go to Mars under any circumstances!
A: Can't you go?
B: No way!
I think so too. Martians will welcome me!
B: that's not true!
A: Anyway, if I become a bird, I can go wherever I want! Do you know where I want to go most?
B: I don't know!
A hides his face and smiles.
Tell me where you want to go!
A: Excuse me!
B: There is nothing to be embarrassed about!
A: I want to go to the bathhouse!
B: It's nothing new!
A: I'm talking about the women's bathhouse!
B: Stop it. The more you say it, the more ridiculous it is. What women's bathhouse do you go to when you are free?
A: To tell the truth, I am precocious!
B: precocious? Children nowadays are precocious! Then may I ask, how old were you?
A made a sign of eight!
B: Eight?
A: MINUS four years!
B: Huh? Have you had this idea since you were four years old? Then you are too precocious! You're amazing!
A: Don't flatter me. I can't help praising you. What you said embarrassed me! (covering his face and laughing)
Excuse me. I feel sorry for you!
A: I didn't become a bird later, but I got fatter after eating it! If my body changes, bird!
B: What's the matter?
A: It's already baked!
I'm telling you, you'll never be like that. This is just a dream of yours!
Damn it, don't break my dream so mercilessly!
B: OK, OK, OK, then do it! I won't fight, I won't fight!
A: Then I went to primary school!
B: What's wrong with going to primary school when you're old?
A: There is something called a teacher in primary schools!
B: Hey! How can you talk here? What is this? Respect teachers, teachers are people, not things!
A: Yes! People are not things?
B: Don't argue irrationally. Go!
A: This teacher has been taking care of me since primary school!
B: Whatever. This is for your own good! Don't be ignorant!
A: Shit, you just don't know! My family says I am black and white!
B: What's the difference?
This teacher is really annoying. He is in charge of everything! Annoying!
B: Tell me, how does this teacher care about you!
A: Just say class! I was only a little late, and he criticized me in front of the whole class!
How long is a short meeting?
A: Just thirty or forty minutes!
B: Huh? Why don't you have a rest? How long is a class?
What do you know? I'd love to. Do you care? Aren't you criticizing me? I won't come at all!
You skipped class!
A: What? What you said is very ugly. Why is your educational level so low? Is that called skipping class?
B: If it's not truancy, what's it called?
That's called sick leave, okay? Skipping class is to slip away without asking the teacher for leave. We have to ask the teacher for leave when we are sick, and we can only leave with the teacher's permission. We have a legitimate reason. It is illegal to skip class, and our absence from class is protected by law!
B: Then what's your reason?
A: I told the teacher that I was sick!
B: then what's wrong with you?
What is wrong with me? I cut my thumb with a knife while sharpening a pencil just now! Look, the blood is still wet!
B: Fuck you! You call this a disease? Just wrap a band-aid.
A: Then I have a stomachache.
B: Then why do you have a stomachache?
I ate ice cream!
B: Eating ice cream won't hurt your stomach! How many boxes did you eat?
A: How many boxes? I ate all the ice cream in our refrigerator!
How many refrigerators do you have?
A: I calculated conservatively. Anyway, I have to get more than 100 boxes! Not much, not much!
B: Not much! It's a good thing I didn't eat you as a popsicle!
What is this? Far away, Aunt Wang, who sells ice cream at our door, scares me. Seeing me is like a mouse seeing a cat! Run!
B: Good! This one is still hungry!
You see, this is because I don't want to go to class. I took great pains. How much did I spend! This kind of professionalism alone is worthy of our admiration!
B: it's quite admirable! Did the teacher give you a leave of absence later? 、
A: Of course! The teacher asked me how many days off? I've thought about it, please ask for a month first!
A month? Or please ask for a month first? You are so unreliable!
A: The teacher looked at me and said, "So-and-so, I'll give you a certificate, so just drop out of school."
B: Yes! Just a stomachache. What about you?
Why don't I take half a month off?
B: more than half a month!
A: Then I'll take a week off, right?
B: More. I'll give you two days at most!
A: Just two days! If you have a meal, eat it first, and then find a way to cook it later!
B: Look at this idea!
I had a good time these two days. I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want!
B: You must be very happy this time!
A: Happy!
B: Your stomach doesn't hurt, does it?
It stopped hurting a long time ago. It won't hurt when you get out of the teacher's office!
B: Look at you! Can't find the right one!
I found it (pointing to the left). Isn't the one on the right over there
You're crazy!
A: Two days passed quickly!
B: Oh! Come on!
It's time for school again!
B: of course I'm going to school when I'm well!
A: I still have to think about the reason. Going to school will be hard again. It hurts to think about it!
B: You're running away!
What's your reason? Hey! I patted my head and it's done!
B: What's the reason?
A: I told the teacher that my grandfather died of illness!
B: Huh? Is your grandfather dead or not?
My grandfather died two years ago!
B: Ouch! This man will do anything to avoid school!
A: Yes! Just say that my grandfather died, and the teacher has no reason not to ask for leave.
What did the teacher say?
A: The teacher was puzzled at first! Why do things happen one after another in your family? How long are you going to invite this time?
B: Really?
A: I learned from the last experience and think this time it should not be too much. I have to take my time.
B: How long will it take?
A: Then I'll take half a year!
B: Fuck you! Are you out of your mind? If I were a teacher, I would slap you!
A: The teacher looks at me, and he will give me a certificate when coding!
What proof do you want?
A: Give me a withdrawal certificate! So-and-so, you'd better go home Our temple is too small to hold your giant Buddha!
B: Come on!
A: Yes, I said no, no, no teacher. I want half a month, okay?
What did the teacher say?
A: The teacher said that you can have one week at most!
One week is enough. Eat as soon as you are well.
A: I said, should the teacher invite two? The teacher shook his head, one and a half? The teacher still shook his head, one day a week? The teacher said, how much is it a week!
B: well, this is still bargaining with the teacher! I thought this was a vegetable market!
A: Yes! Take it when you are ready! I'm not tired of talking to teachers!
What have you been doing this week?
I have been eating, drinking and having fun this week. I can do whatever I want!
How happy your life is!
A: Yes, of course! Internet cafes, karaoke bars, dance halls ~ ~ ~ ~
B: Hey! You wait, you wait!
What are you doing?
B: the more you listen to it, the worse it tastes. Those places are not the places you should go at your age!
Why can't I go? Isn't it equality now? If you adults can go, can't I?
So what did you do?
A: I often play. I go to karaoke bars to sing!
Do you still sing?
Why can't I sing? I am a great singer.
What song are you singing?
I sing pop songs. I will sing whatever is popular now. Two mosquitoes, voles love millet, sad 2046
B: Stop, stop, what are you singing here?
A: Once I was singing in my room, and several people came in with wine bottles in the next room!
B: Why?
A: They said they were singing in the next room. They thought there was a wolf barking in this room.
These people are very helpful.
A: I'm a little tone-deaf when I sing! Some people classify us as wolves!
B: Good! Then what else did you do?
A: I also went to the ballroom to dance!
B: Are you still dancing in your size?
What's wrong with my figure? Tell you, nothing can stop my tireless pursuit of art!
B: You also pursue art, fresh!
A: Bah, I have a passionate heart for art, and I have charm!
B: What about you? Quite charming!
Of course, once I danced in a ballroom. Oh, the dance floor is crowded with people. It was a sea of people. Everyone, you hold me, hold me and shake your head!
B: there are many people?
A: More! I am very excited to see this! My heart is surging and my blood is boiling. I rushed into the dance floor in one step.
Did you dance with anyone else?
A: Jump! Why don't you jump? It took less than ten minutes. There are few people on the dance floor. I'm the only one still dancing there!
B: Why?
A: Come down and ask, it turns out that I stepped on everyone on the dance floor.
B: Huh?
A: But I am very happy!
B: You are happy, but your happiness is based on the suffering of others. You are really great!
A: Then I went to that Internet cafe!
B: Are you going too? You are underage, so you can't go!
A: yes, why can't I go? Can't I go in and play?
Did they let you in?
A: A security guard stood in front of the Internet cafe and asked me, Hello! What do you do? I said I want to surf the internet! How old are you, just surfing the Internet? I said I was twenty! Who are you kidding? I think you are nineteen at most!
B: What the hell is this security guard? He is not responsible for teenagers!
A: I am right. I am nineteen years old. I'm twenty years old!
So the security guard let you in?
A: Yes, the security guard let me in and gave me some ideological education before I went in.
B: how was it educated?
A: He said, remember, whoever asks you is also nineteen. You can't play if you say twenty!
Hello! What's this called? So you went in to play?
A: Of course, I went to play!
What did you do?
A: I play everything. I play anything interesting! I play CS, the game of shooting!
B: Yes!
Do you know that?/You know what?
B: I didn't know it was popular now.
A: OK? I didn't see the bright future, you know!
Of course I know. Why don't I know?
A: Well, there is progress and improvement!
Okay, what do you mean?
A: Nothing interesting. You know all about it. It's unbelievable!
Everyone knows that!
A: I am very happy!
B: Fuck you!
A: It's fun to say this CS!
B: how fun?
A: The pistol is in hand. Hit whoever you want, and see who doesn't like it. Bang, bang, bang, just give him a few shots! After a few innings, the owner of the Internet cafe came!
What is the boss doing here?
A: The boss said, Brother, can I give you your money back? If you don't fight, how can you fight? Even our own people fought, and all our guests were beaten away by you!
B: yes, this is quite troublesome!
A: A week has passed and I'm going to school!
B: Yes!
A: But the thought of going to school makes me uncomfortable. I am distressed!
B: Then you have to go, too.
A: No, I have to think of a reason!
B: Do you still want to? You are endless. Or?
What's your reason?
How do you think?
A: I said my grandmother died again. My grandmother was so sad because of my grandfather's death that she left the day after his death!
B: Bah! You are wicked, not wicked, just because you don't attend classes. Is it?
A: A week later, I went to the teacher's office and expressed my thoughts.
B: What?
As soon as the teacher picked up the phone, he called my father. Hey, dad, I can't control your children. Take him back quickly.
B: the teacher's killer weapon-finding parents.
A: As soon as I heard that I was in a hurry, I'll inform my dad later, and then I'm finished. I said, teacher, I'd better go to class instead of looking for my father!
B: The teacher agreed?
A: The teacher is considerate and sympathetic to me. Then go back to class! But let me get this straight. From now on, you can't take a day off, okay?
Yes, this is what I should do!
A: No way. I have to go to class anyway!
B: Hey! Wait, you said your grandmother died. Is it true or not?
A: Of course it's fake! Since grandpa died, grandma has been in good health, delicious, energetic and normal endocrine, and looks healthier than me. It is estimated that it is no problem to live to 100 years old!
B: Good! What's this called?
I'm back in class. I feel uncomfortable sitting in class!
B: I have wronged you enough.
I'm swinging from side to side!
B: I can't sit still!
A: No way. There's really no way. I farted accidentally! Very loud! After class, a classmate came from the next class. He said one of our classes was bombed by terrorists!
B: Good! You are so immoral, this is a class!
You sound like my teacher! Damn it, you still call me fart, which is a natural physiological phenomenon of human beings! I do. Do you care?
B: ok, you are willing, you are willing. What did the teacher say about you?
The teacher is writing on the blackboard. Hearing such a loud noise, I was so scared that the chalk fell to the ground! The teacher trembled and said, what is this noise? Why does it smell like stinky tofu?
B: You always have a good nose. What did your classmates say about you?
My classmates are very close to me. No one gave up on me, but they all turned to look at me.
B: It's still for you! Now that it's all like this, admit it. Who hasn't made a mistake?
A: I won't say anything if I am killed! Oh, how can I bow and scrape to those people with high status and important positions? They never want to be seen with a sincere face!
B: Very backbone!
A: I didn't admit it directly! I said, teacher, I ate some soybeans at noon, and now I have a reaction!
B: What is the backbone? Just say fart!
A: How uncivilized! We literate people can't communicate with illiterate people like you and have no quality!
B: Yes! Yes! Yes! I have no quality. What did the teacher say about you?
A: The teacher quite understood me, saying that the next fart should be reported first, and no surprise attack should be made!
B: I report before farting. Never heard of it!
A: I said yes, teacher, you are busy, you are busy!
Is there anything wrong with your teacher? (pointing to his head)
A: Bah! Don't insult people's teachers!
B: Good! I was wrong. Let's get started!
A: Do you think I can be happy to be in charge all day?
B: Yes, but you can't always think about yourself! Yes!
A: This course really ruined my feelings. I feel dizzy, my limbs are weak, my back aches, and my whole body twitches!
Look at our poor one!
This teacher is really angry with me. Seeing that I was so sad, he woke me up to answer the question!
What questions did the teacher ask you?
A: Degang, do you know who was the first female emperor in history?
What do you say?
I know. You can't beat me. I listened to adults every day when I was a child!
B: Who is it?
Liu Xiaoqing!
Hello! That's the actor you said!
A: Yes, I cried before I finished.
Why is the teacher crying?
A: He said that he had never taught a student like me in his life!
Look, you made the teacher sad!
A: ok, then I'll go to bed! I sleep, I don't touch anyone, I don't mess with anyone, okay?
B: Sleep in class? Is that against discipline?
What discipline did you violate? Go and play! Do you care? So I fell asleep "hoo ~ ~ hoo ~ ~".
B: This is really rude. He snores in his sleep. What happened to him?
A: Sleeping is really fun!
B: Come on, what's the point? You call this disorganization and discipline, you know?
What do you know? What do you care? Have you ever slept?
What are you talking about? People want to sleep!
A: I'm sorry, I never treated you like a person.
B: Are you wicked? What the hell!
Do you know what are my two favorite things in my life?
B: I don't know!
A: Eat and sleep!
B: Of course. This is quite lazy! I started dreaming when I fell asleep!
A: I didn't see it. You are very ambitious. You started dreaming when you were in class!
B: What dream?
Sweet dreams (start scratching my ears)
What are you doing? Make it clear. Speak to the fire
A: I dreamed that I really became a bird!
Really?
I have a pair of little wings, flying in the sky, flying! I see ants all over the ground!
B: That's a man!
A: I flew over the Himalayas, the Rift Valley, the Pacific Ocean and Algeria.
B: Yes.
A: I finally flew to America!
You flew to America?
This one in America is luxurious. It looks good.
B: People's economy is relatively developed.
The American people are so enthusiastic! Welcome my arrival!
B: as for it? Aren't you a bird?
Then you are wrong. I'm not just a bird. To be precise, I am a bird man. I have wings and can fly like a bird. I have a face, I can talk like a human, and I have feelings!
Well done!
A: The President of the United States came out to welcome me, and people stood on the roof of the White House and waved to me!
Really?
A: People are waving and talking.
Say what?
A: Come and see, alien creatures have come to earth!
B: Good! Think of you as an alien!
A: The American people really treat me like an alien! It was enshrined!
Really?
A: They beat gongs and drums and wrote slogans.
B: What does it say?
Welcome to our country!
B: Good! The American people are really enthusiastic.
A: Enthusiasm, people will invite me to dinner!
Really?
A: The President of the United States asked me what I like to eat. Come to think of it, I like braised elbows.
B: Do you have them in America?
A: Of course. The president asked me, how much do I eat?
B: Yes.
Think about it, a pig has four hooves. Give me ten first!
B: Then you can really eat it.
A: The President said: Braised elbows with two or three glasses of white wine. Please wait a moment and come at once.
This president is like a bartender!
A: After a while, the braised elbow came up. Oh, still steaming, oily and golden. It's appetizing to watch! I filmed it.
B: What's the matter?
A: This bite woke me up!
Why are you awake?
A: When I saw it was broken, our teacher stood in front of me and said angrily, Have a good sleep! Why did you bite my hand?
B: Huh? You bit the teacher's hand.
A: Yes.
~ ~ ~ ~ It's over ~ ~ ~ ~
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