Please tell jokes.

1. Once a second-class bus, a BMW passed by, and a tall man next to it said to the people around him, "Look, that's IBM."

2. A friend of mine is an intern in Unicom. One day, an old man came up and said, "Can you get me a mobile card?" Then the friend said without looking up, "Master, someone is coming to smash the venue!" "

3. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Miss Liu, what's your name?" Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

4. In the past, the geography teacher was a man, which was particularly violent. Anyone who spoke or was distracted was punched, but he didn't hit the girl. A new girl doesn't know equality between men and women. Once, she stole a cartoon in class and was found by the geography teacher. She came to her without saying anything. The girl turned pale with fear and shouted: indecent assault ~ ~ Our geography teacher waterfall sweat ~ ~

5. My classmate said: I put too much washing powder. The other asked: What? Your brother has too many wives?

6. On a windy day, the bicycle fell down one after another. I only heard a classmate say while helping the car: whose Mercedes-Benz crushed my BMW? ! ...

7. I used to call their dormitory boyfriend, but he didn't answer. I was a little embarrassed, so I made up a name and said, "Is XX there?" If you want to pretend to be the wrong person, it's over ~ ~ The other person hesitated and said, wait, I'll call you! I was stupid at that time! Hang up the phone in fear! Later, I asked my boyfriend, and he said that a boy in the dormitory opposite them asked me to make up his name ~ ~ ~

8. Last time I was abroad, I saw a handsome guy selling cakes in the street. When my friend and I bought it, we said he looked like Elvis Presley. When he heard us talking about him, he asked us what to say. I've been thinking for a long time: "King of Vivi".

9. The girlfriend in the dormitory chatted with the net friend. She was obviously excited: Hello, I'm Wang Xiaoliang. Guess who I am? Can't faint ...

10, I learned a sentence from a friend: I'll give you ten words-as for the fuck, as for the fuck ~ I remember the first time he said this to a group of us, I saw everyone below posting ten words. ...

What's more, I've told this sentence to n friends. Basically, more than 90% will hesitate for a moment, say a word silently or move their fingers slightly, and then say with a smile, damn, it's really ten words ~ it works every time, hehe.

I strongly suggest you give it a try and let us know if it works.

1 1. One day, the monitor told me what to do on Saturday (there were many things that week). After that, my deskmate shook my arm violently. Come on, tell me, what day is Saturday? ...

12, I am a female colleague, very strong (with weight and strength), and I often work hard in the workshop to compare with a bunch of male compatriots. One day, I saw Mr. A who couldn't move anything. He skillfully moved a box of goods and laughed at Mr. A's face while moving. It was too weak. A gentleman held back for three minutes and said, no matter how fat you women are, you must have a man who can put you to bed. ...

13, when I was in middle school, the mid-term Chinese test paper was translated as "tyranny is fiercer than tigers" in classical Chinese, and occasionally translated as "exorbitant taxes and levies are fiercer than teachers!" I didn't find the sweat until I found the paper! The head teacher drew a big red circle on the word "teacher"!

I got 2 points for that question and deducted 5 points!

14, power failure, my dad's mobile phone is still charging. He looked for something with a candle. I asked him what you were looking for, and when he said how to charge, the green light went out.

15, hehe, the ward building of the Second Hospital of Shanda, without the square of the house, has become a corpse building until now. ...

16, we slept with a junior who came to chat with her. Junior classmate asked her: I always heard that Prince Frog, Prince Frog, why not a frog?

We were cheated at that time, and the junior explained it to her because a fairy tale was called the frog prince.

The classmate said: Oh, then, are frogs and toads the same thing?

Hey, is that called toad or Khan?

The younger generation sighed and said: Khan Bai, toad is the tribal leader of ancient ethnic minorities.

At that time, the three of us were blue in the face.

17, once I went to dinner with a friend of mine, and the clerk in that shop was very dragging and rolled his eyes and asked, what do you eat?

My friend said you have any specialties here, and the clerk said, everything!

My friend was anxious and said, then give me a plate of tomatoes and stir-fry tomatoes! ! !

18, once I called my father's office to find him. I didn't think it over because I was in a hurry. I get up and shout: Dad ~ Are you xxx (Dad's name)?

As a result, I laughed too hard to speak.

19 Another time, a friend asked me which man I thought was the most handsome in history, and I said Pan An.

He disdains to talk about Yang Zongbao.

I asked why?

He said proudly, "You don't know that Mulan fell in love with him at first sight?"

20. One of my good classmates is a little black, and her bf is a little too white. One day, the queen of the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will have zebras ..."

265438+

22. One of my classmates may be nervous for the first time. I may want to ask the patient's life span and surname, and the result is: Grandpa, what's your surname? The patient fainted!

23. The meals in our school canteen are divided into soft meals and hard meals. One day in the canteen, a boy in front of me thought it over and said, I'd better eat soft rice. ...

24. When I was in college, I took an experimental course of analog electricity and observed the waveform of rectifier circuit with an oscilloscope. After I finished, I wandered around the lab. A beautiful girl pulled me and said, "Do you see my waves?" I immediately blushed, only to find out that she was referring to the sine wave on the oscilloscope.

I said in a panic, "Your waves are good, but not smooth enough." I adjusted it for her conveniently. Who knows, it turned into a triangular wave. Meimei immediately became anxious: "You accompany me to surf, you accompany me to surf …" I ran away.

25. My classmate's friend is rather dull and may have a good face.

A few years ago, I went to the North Film Examination and was admitted. What shall we ask him when I come back? He said that the examiner pretended to be an idiot and they all pretended to be the same. We said, how do you pretend? He said, I'm not pretending. I just walked around and was chosen. ......

26. Last time I quarreled with two girls in our class, one girl couldn't stand it, swearing and saying, I'll spray shit all over your face! The whole class laughed their heads off.