Positive energy joke at noon

There are many people who like to watch jokes at noon. Jokes can relieve our pressure. Actually, some jokes are more positive. I sorted out the information about the jokes at noon. Let's have a look.

A positive energy joke at noon 1 1. An aunt suddenly came to the dormitory. He glanced around, stared at me and asked, "Young man, are you in love?" When I told her no, my aunt was relieved and said, "My daughter talked about a boyfriend and said this is a dormitory. I'm here to see. " I asked, "Auntie, there are 6 people in our dormitory. Why do you ask me? " Aunt: "As long as it's not you, I'm relieved."

2. The ex-girlfriend called, crying that she was fat, tearfully saying how ugly she was, how she couldn't meet people, how she was rejected, and how she affected her family career. Because I haven't seen you for a year, I asked, how fat is it? She paused for a moment, then said, I have become as fat as you! Break the glass, dear John!

3. Meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time. After sitting on the train all night, my hind legs went numb after getting off. His father came to meet us and asked him why he was limping. The second-rate boyfriend said, "I was abducted, and I didn't want to be lame halfway." . .

I remember when I was very young, I went to the grave with my father and some elders. Halfway up the mountain, there is a ditch that is not too big. The elders all jumped over, and I didn't dare to leave. My dad said, be brave, son. Although I jumped over, I still dared not jump. My dad spoke again. My father is right in front of you. Although I jumped over, miracles will still happen. My courage suddenly broke out. . .

When I was thirteen years old, I was lonely at the bedside on a boring night. Just two puffs, dad pushed the door and came in. I habitually sent one to my father. Father took it, and no one spoke. Quiet time passes slowly between father and son's fingers. Dad vomited a non-standard smoke turn, and then said simply, "Be patient when I hit you later, and don't disturb the neighbors."

At 1: 15 noon, the positive energy joke 2 1 was so happy together.

College roommates have liked a girl for a long time and decided to confess.

When the goddess is out of class, walk with her on campus.

A sprinkler came by, just as the sprinkler passed by them.

He suddenly picked up the goddess, probably too excited and slipped.

But the ending is still happy, and they are together.

2. Oppose tying.

Woman: I have one more condition to marry you.

Man: Honey, you told me that I would promise anything as long as I could marry you.

W: This condition is very simple. I want to take my mother with me because she only has one daughter. Man: Well ... Woman: What, you don't agree? M: Don't you know that shops are against tying now? !

3. Kill first and then rape

It is said that one day, when a policeman was patrolling, he passed an alley and suddenly heard a conversation?

A: "What should I do about this?"

B: "Let's kill her first, and then rape her."

At that moment, the policeman pulled out his gun and rushed in, only to find two people standing in the kitchen with a fish in their hands. ...

4. How do you like jiaozi?

Find clothes to wear in the morning, get ready for work, and put on a long-lost skirt.

Say to yourself in the mirror: "alas! How like jiaozi! "

The husband who washed his face said, "This is the problem of stuffing!" It's not the leaves. "

5, not worse than 500 points.

I went to an interview today, and my boss asked me to talk about my school days.

Think of the news that rural students can get up to 65 points in Tsinghua.

I said, "I was very angry when I saw this new enrollment plan. If I had this policy, my college entrance examination score would not be more than 500 points worse than that of Tsinghua! "

I had loose bowels when I ate noodles at noon, and there was nothing wrong with other staple foods, so I went to the hospital for examination. After the doctor asked about the symptoms, he said, "It's not a big problem. It's easy to treat. Don't be afraid." I quickly asked how to cure it. The doctor looked at me and said, "You don't have to eat noodles." I ...

2. I took the shuttle bus home today and saw a man beside me. He was neatly dressed and left some traces of years on his face. He sometimes looks out of the window quietly, as if thinking about his past life; Sometimes close your eyes slightly to give your tired body a short rest. I think: this state should be that the mobile phone is dead, which is boring.

3. The teacher asked, "A person wants to boil a pot of boiling water. When he was halfway through the fire, he found that there was not enough wood. What should he do? " Some students said to look for it quickly, while others said to borrow and buy it. The teacher said, "Why don't you pour some water from the pot?" The students suddenly realized.

This morning, I got up late again, so I must be late for work. I was busy sending a short message to the leader: "Didn't you say you were going to the head office to get the information?" I'll go! "The leader replied," What happened today? Xiao Liu, Xiao Wang, Xiao Dong and you all asked for information. "After reading it, I quickly sent another message to the leader:" Information is important, so many people should escort it! "

5. When I was a child, I made a mistake and was beaten by my mother. I didn't shed a tear! After the fight, my mother stroked my head: silly child! Why don't you run! Does it hurt? I cried when I heard this sentence! You chased me for two blocks. Tell me where else I can run!