"You are destined to be single in the first half of your life, and you will get used to it in the second half." Ask for the name of Cao Yunjin's crosstalk.

It's Cao Yunjin Liu Yuntian's cooperative cross talk "I want to fall in love"

The cross talk "I want to fall in love" is funny: Cao Yunjin's support: Liu Yuntian

Attached lines:

Bai: Dear leaders, employees and friends who are not on the scene!

H: Good afternoon, everyone!

Bai: I am very excited to stand on the stage of the 213 Spring Festival Evening of the coal processing company.

Zhou: Yes

Bai: Maybe some people know us and some don't.

Zhou: Um

Bai: Let's introduce ourselves first.

Zhou: OK

Bai: My name is XXX. This is my partner

Zhou: Work together

Bai: Teacher XXX

Zhou: Not a teacher

Bai: Many colleagues know you and like your show

Zhou: Well, your popularity is not bad

Bai: You are really a good friend of mankind

Zhou: Yes … That's more like it. You're

white: well-known.

Zhou: It's also common.

White: In terms of entertainment circles, you call a star a wrist.

Zhou: There is such a saying.

White: You're a wrist!

Zhou: I'm flattered!

Bai: You are a wrist! Wrist! Woof-woof ...

Zhou: Er ~ stop, stop, stop ... Are you flattering me?

Bai: It's well-known!

Zhou: Generally

Bai: We are partners on stage and good friends under stage!

Zhou: The relationship is good

Bai: It's so good that I can't describe it

Zhou: That's great

Bai: Seriously, this is my biological friend, (because of our feelings, that's ...)

Zhou: Hey, wait a minute. Did you talk like that?

Bai: We have a good relationship

Zhou: Then you can say that we have a good relationship

Bai: So we know each other very well

Zhou: Of course

Bai: XXX's life is very happy,

Zhou: Generally

Bai: I'm not as good as him

Zhou: Really?

Bai: He is married. He married a big fat daughter-in-law. She looks beautiful and human! Gee

Zhou: Hey, what do you mean like a human being?

Bai: similar to the gods

Zhou: Oh

Bai: Fairy-like is a fairy coming down to earth

Zhou: You have to make it clear

Bai: extremely beautiful

Zhou: OK

Bai: You told me that this is your lifelong dream, and you just want to marry this girl

.

Bai: Why do you think? He said that I like this kind of melon seeds face, and the girl with big eyes

Zhou: Good-looking

Bai: Finally, I did it, and married a girl with a big face and melon seeds eyes!

Zhou: hi! What's it like? This is

Bai: be happy if you live a happy life. You still show off in front of us every day, showing happiness and basking in sweetness.

Zhou: Hey, yo,

Bai: What's this called?

Zhou: Hmm?

Bai: People with gold watches love to clap their legs, while those with gold teeth love to grin!

Zhou: hi! I'm telling you, we didn't show off, we really loved each other!

Bai: I am very happy anyway.

Zhou: Not bad

Bai: I can't compare with him here. My love life has always been bad and I can't get a girlfriend. My love life is like a history of blood and tears.

Zhou: how to explain this?

Bai: There is blood, tears and history.

Zhou: hey! Ok! You scared me!

Bai: I have never been able to get a girlfriend.

Zhou: What are you afraid of?

Bai: I'm bored

Zhou: You don't have to be bored, you can have a love affair.

Bai: falling in love is not successful.

Zhou: No, it's not. What are the requirements and criteria for you to find a girlfriend?

Bai: I was not qualified at that time.

Zhou: You should also talk about it.

Bai: I want to find someone who is healthy, has a wide range of hobbies, can chat with me, knows that it hurts people, and it's best to be beautiful, so I'm ashamed of myself. Compared with flowers, it is more fragrant than jade. What's long is hooked and lost

Zhou: What adjectives are these? This is

Bai: You mean my qualifications are not high either?

Zhou: isn't it high? You are too picky.

Bai: Shall I lower it? I'm looking for a healthy

Zhou: Ah, this is very important

Bai: I was really introduced to one. I love sports

Zhou: Mm-hmm.

Bai: I like sports, too.

Zhou: Really?

Bai: But we can't play this sport together.

Zhou: Yo, what's going on?

Bai: I can't come for her sports.

Zhou: What does she like?

Bai: He loves swimming!

Zhou: Why can't you come to swim?

Bai: I can't swim. I can't swim since I was a child. I'm afraid of water. I tremble when I see water!

Zhou: Yo, are you rabies?

Bai: You are rabies!

Zhou: No, aren't you afraid of water?

Bai: I can't swim. Besides, I don't even have swimming trunks.

Zhou: Oh, swimming trunks are easy to handle. You can buy them!

Bai: buy one?

Zhou: buy!

Bai: I am throwing caution to the wind! For love, buy a pair of swimming trunks!

Zhou: Spent money

Bai: I think there are those inferior red swimming trunks on the street! Wow, this thing is cheap, three yuan for a big truck

Zhou: I'll go

Bai: Come on! This red swimming suit is auspicious ~

Zhou: Well, that's

white: I can swim after buying it ~ where can I see it! (Clapping) It's broken

Zhou: What's the matter

Bai: It's not swimming

Zhou: Then why?

Bai: take a hot spring bath!

Zhou: It's better to soak in hot springs.

Bai: Hot springs are good! But he is not the same as swimming!

Zhou: What's different?

Bai: swimming is cold, and hot springs are hot water!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: my inferior red swimming trunks! This time, he will fade! A pool of red soup!

Zhou: Oh, my God.

Bai: My girlfriend is stupid!

Zhou: aye

Bai: I said, are you bleeding heavily?

Zhou: ooh ~ (shaking hands) Oh, hehe

Bai: People think I'm unhealthy ~

Zhou: What's your name?

Bai: Do you think it's okay not to break up?

Zhou: Hi, it's a score.

Bai: I'll change it. I'll find another one!

Zhou: Oh, change a girlfriend

Bai: I'm looking for someone with a wide range of hobbies, and I'm looking for someone to introduce me!

Zhou: The introduction was successful?

Bai: I really found one!

Zhou: I found it!

Bai: I have a wide range of hobbies, and I am proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting.

Zhou: Well, this can be

Bai: And! The biggest hobby! Love to drink!

Zhou: Oh ~

Bai: The girl raised it

Zhou: What was raised?

Bai: Say that my boyfriend must be able to drink with me!

Zhou: Hmmm

Bai: On second thought, I can drink well!

Zhou: are you all right?

Bai: But we have to ask

Zhou: What?

Bai: Ask how much people can drink.

Zhou: Oh ~

Bai: I can't drink it later!

Zhou: OK, get to know

Bai: Right! I said girl, how much can you, you, you drink?

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: The girl is very shy

Zhou: Yes

Bai: (twisting her waist and gesturing "1") gestured a finger with me

Zhou: Oh

Bai: One-on-one, at most, fight and drink! I drank it at 8: p.m. until 2: 3 p.m. Zhou: ho

Bai: I vomited 14 times. Zhou: Ouch

Bai: I vomited my stomach, washed it and swallowed it back. Zhou: Hehe

Bai: It's killing me! I really can't accompany you. You drink too much.

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: I went to see him. I said, girl, you drink too much. I really can't accompany you. I want to ask you what this "1" (gesture) just now means.

Zhou: huh?

Bai: You can have a drink.

Zhou: This? "1" (gesture)

Bai: No! Can you, uh, have a bottle?

Zhou: Um "1" (gesture)

Bai: No, can you drink a case? No! So what exactly does this "1" mean?

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: keep drinking

Zhou: ho!

Bai: can you say it earlier next time? Huh? You came here to kill people?

Zhou: Hehehe

Bai: Later I saved my life! I'd better separate from her!

Zhou: wow ~ ok! Look, you met this man!

Bai: I'll find another one!

Zhou: oh, it's changed again!

Bai: I'm looking for someone who can chat with me.

Zhou: Oh, talk.

Bai: Have a glib tongue! This is my standard

Zhou: OK!

Bai: Someone really introduced me to a

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: Girls especially like to talk about

Zhou: Well, we can talk!

Bai: But it's too much trouble.

Zhou: What's the matter?

Bai: I love talking! This mouth never stops all day! Go on, go on, scratch, scratch, and keep saying

Zhou: Yeah?

Bai: and always scratching at the sky ...

Zhou: Hey ~

Bai: Talk to me endlessly

Zhou: Hehe

Bai: I'm still talking in my sleep when I'm asleep at night! Scratch, scratch, scratch ... No.1 beer, No.2 beer, loading station ... scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch

Zhou: This business is quite skilled

Bai: I love my job!

Zhou: Yes.

Bai: I'm tired of scratching.

Zhou: Hmm.

Bai: Ouch! How can I have a chance to stop for two days! ?

Zhou: Oh, take two days off.

Bai: I finally got a chance.

Zhou: What chance?

Bai: Isn't this a unit to organize a tour? Go to the seaside for a holiday

Zhou: Really!

Bai: I say you should hurry! Go play

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: After a week, I will fly back, and I will have a look. Wow!

Zhou: hmm?

Bai: This mouth is not idle at the seaside!

Zhou: why?

Bai: My teeth are all tanned! Scratch, scratch, scratch

Zhou: ouch!

Bai: how eloquent, huh? I haven't been idle at the seaside!

Zhou: there is no such thing!

Bai: I have to be quiet!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: I have to change to another type.

Zhou: Well, it's not suitable either.

Bai: Later, I found someone to introduce me to

Bai: I was introduced to a

Zhou who knows how to hurt people. Hey, that's good.

Bai: This is the most important thing for two people to be together. Very kind to me

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: Knowing that I am tired from work, I write late every day

Zhou: Hmm

Bai: In order to have a good breakfast, come to our house every morning and make me breakfast

Zhou: Hey!

Bai: Boil white rice porridge for me

Zhou: Aiya

Bai: Cooking all kinds of pickles

Zhou: It's so meticulous ~

Bai: Cooking all kinds of eggs, boiling hot white rice porridge, ok?

Zhou: ok, ok, ok!

Bai: Good is good, just a little grumpy!

Zhou: What are you afraid of?

Bai: If I ask you twice, you won't get up! This cauldron of hot porridge will splash on you!

Zhou: ho ~! (avoid)

Bai: I'll burn you to death! Drink or not! Huh?

Zhou: wow! This is too violent, which is also

white: I will put up with it at home, even outside! Too grumpy!

Zhou: what's wrong outside?

Bai: if you don't deal with two words, hit someone when the wheel is round!

Zhou: ouch, it's not right to hit people!

Bai: Where were you shopping in Wangfujing that day?

Zhou: Ah!

Bai: Wangfujing! How many people!

Zhou: that's right!

Bai: I'm anxious because of a little thing! When the wheel is round, it's a big mouth! Beat me three times and ask! Did you hit me?

Zhou: ouch, this is not light! I'm all stupid.

Bai: I see stars in my eyes! Business gathering area, full of people! Come and look at that! I'm a man at least!

Zhou: Yes!

Bai: I have face too! I have to turn around and save face! I have a temper too!

Zhou: that is,

Bai: I was anxious then! "Are you crazy? You are sick! ? Ah! ? Try hitting me again? " Without saying anything, the wheel is round and it's a big mouth.

Zhou: Hey!

Bai: guess what we said?

Zhou: what did you say?

Bai: since you are so obedient, I will spare you!

Zhou: hi!

Bai: We have to save face!

Zhou: Come on, you've lost all your face!

Bai: Why can't I get a girlfriend? I have a good condition! They all praised me for my four advantages! People are good, their mouths are sweet, and their long spirit is rich!

Zhou: hey, you are still energetic!

Bai: I have four advantages. Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Zhou: (shaking his head)

Bai: I was particularly upset at that time! I think I am the most painful person in the world!

Zhou: Really?

Bai: Medicine divides pain into 12 levels! The most primary pain, bitten by mosquitoes (strokes)!

Zhou: Oh

Bai: Grade 12 pain is what women suffer during childbirth!

Zhou: This score

Bai: I think I have reached the 13th level of pain at that time!

Zhou: what is that?

Bai: I was bitten by a mosquito during childbirth!

Zhou: hi! This really hurts to hear!

Bai: Why can't I get a girlfriend? ?

Zhou: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,no. Bai: Later, I thought about it repeatedly. Zhou: Ah, Bai: I think it's because my life is not very good.

Zhou: It has nothing to do with life.

Bai: It must have something to do with it! So I found a master to do the math for me!

Zhou: fortune telling? That's called feudal superstition. You can't believe it, okay?

Bai: If you don't understand, don't talk nonsense here! The master found the problem as soon as he calculated it!

Zhou: What's the problem?

Bai: When the master finished the calculation, he told me, "Young man! Your life is not good! You belong to five elements and lack five elements! "

Zhou: please wait a moment! What do you mean, five elements are missing!

Bai: The five elements are Jin Mu's fire, water and soil! Everyone lacks something different! I lack all these five elements!

Zhou: ho!

Bai: that's why it's called five lines without five lines!

Zhou: then how much you need! ?

Bai: then what should I do? You help me out! Is it true that I don't have a beloved woman to accompany me in my life?

Zhou: hmm!

Bai: The master said to me, "Don't get excited, young man! Young man, I look at your face! The first half of my life is doomed to have no women "

Zhou: ouch!

Bai: What about the rest of my life?

Zhou: exactly! ?

Bai: "I'll get used to it for the rest of my life!"

Zhou: ah! ? What a master! This is!

Bai: I came for your help, not because I came!

Zhou: Hehehe

Bai: You have to help me figure out how to crack it!

Zhou: That's right.

Bai: You can't crack it! But I can teach you how to chase girls! There are two main points: first, be bold, and second, be cautious! I have two here.