The company organizes the annual meeting to sing. Everyone has a song. I really can't sing five notes. I feel inferior. What should I do? !

Directly profess that you can't sing, but in order to understand that everyone enjoys it, sincerely say, "People don't want to base their happiness on my pain, do they?" But to show my sincerity, I'll tell you a joke (a program, such as stand-up comedy, is your choice)

Material 1: What is the fastest?

One day, I went to a restaurant for dinner and heard someone talking at the next table. A man asked: What do you say is the fastest in the world? One person said: I think it is the fastest consciousness. For example, when you accidentally touch a lit cigarette butt, your big brain can feel the pain quickly and react. That didn't say anything. Another said, that's the fastest way to blink. Think about it. You keep blinking, but you never feel that the image in front of you is intermittent. That hasn't been said. Another person said: that is, light is the fastest. You think, in a dark room, when you press the switch, the room lights up, and the surrounding lights up immediately. Men are still silent. Those people asked together: What do you say is the fastest? I heard the man say slowly, I tell you, diarrhea is the fastest. "Why?"

"One night, I was just lying in bed ready to sleep when I suddenly heard a rumbling sound in my stomach. Before I think, before I blink, before I turn on the light, I just ... "

Material 2: Never lose the new.

As we all know, stand-up crosstalk is hard to say. The key is that there is no comedian and little support. Think about it. Shoe racks were sold, sock racks were sold, and even Dong Qing became Liu Qian's shoe rack. You said that having a holder is definitely better than not having a holder. So, you are blessed to be here today. I am really happy to be with you today. In order to have fun with you, I have to express it, right? How can I put it? I'll tell you a new joke of mine-it's a true story.

Our neighbor Xiaowu, who has just been working for a week, has just put on his police uniform. He is going to the cinema tonight. When he went to the cinema, many people bought tickets and lined up at the back. Standing there, I heard a stranger ask me: Are you the new policeman? Xiao Wu wondered: How do you know? The man made a signal with the lips: where can the old police go? "Oh," Xiao Wu understood, went straight to the ticket booth and handed in the money: I'll buy the ticket! "New police!" The man in the window said with a smile. "How do you know?" "Where does the old policeman buy a ticket? Go inside. No one dares to stop him. " Xiaowu learned it again, but no one stopped him when he tried. Into the theater, Xiaowu casually found a seat downstairs and sat down. Before his ass could sit still, the person next to him said, new policeman! It's really weird. Xiao Wu was surprised, but he said, Who said that? "The old policeman is watching upstairs, and the new policeman like you is downstairs." Xiao Wu went upstairs to have a look. Yes, there are many policemen here. Xiao Wu picked a seat and just sat down, the movie started. A policeman next to him turned to look at him: new policeman! "How do you know?" The old policeman doesn't sit and watch like you behave, just like me. Xiao Wu understood clearly, learned the way of an old policeman, put his feet up and put them around the neck of the front row, which really made him feel much more comfortable and found some feelings of being a policeman. Halfway through the movie, Xiao Wu got up and went to the bathroom. At the door of the bathroom, a staff member asked: new police! "I haven't written it on my face. How do you know? " "Where did the old police come from? Everybody pees from upstairs to downstairs. You look like a new policeman. " Oh, hey, Xiao Wu is so embarrassing that he almost threw people to the police. He hurried back to the second floor, stood by and peed downstairs. I heard someone shouting downstairs, "Hey, is that the new policeman who is peeing upstairs?" Xiao Wu was a little strange, so he looked down with his probe. Who is this? How did he know ... "What are you looking at? The old policeman is a piece of urine. How can you be like a new policeman? Directly on my head! "