What an interesting joke.

1, once on a bus, a young man seemed to have fallen asleep at the station, so he went to the driver and said he wanted to get off, but it was far from the next stop. The driver said, "No, it hasn't arrived yet." The young man lit a cigarette and said, "master, I won't embarrass you either." According to the regulations, you can't smoke on this bus. Would you please drive me away? " The master driver smiled and said, "Go down, go down". Everyone laughed.

2. My husband just sent a message saying that he would eat spicy hot pot in the evening. For me who is dieting to lose weight, I must resolutely resist such bad temptations. My husband immediately sent me a 100 red envelope. When I received it, I replied, "Don't insult me with less money, I won't go." My husband sent me another 100 red envelope. I replied after receiving it: "Come on, money can't impress me. This is called backbone. " My husband sent me another 50-dollar red envelope. After I received it, I replied: "There are only three things. Forget it. I hate to eat with you. " Husband replied: "Look at your appearance, that point of backbone is 250." Me: … ..

A friend of mine rides a motorcycle fast, and the mantra is: a motorcycle is a monster, and it always runs fast. No, I went to see him yesterday and pulled up the weeds in front of the grave.

I bought food in the snack bar, and when I think of something to do, I tell my boss to put it here first and pick it up later. I came over after I finished, saw that the boss was very busy, and then left without saying hello. At this moment, an elder sister grabbed my arm and shouted, "Boss, this woman stole from your house and tried to run away!" " "

5. "I remember when my daughter was over two years old, she had a fever one night and took her to the hospital for emergency treatment, but she just didn't take medicine and couldn't eat it." If you want to give her a spanking needle, look at her sad appearance. If you don't want your father, the needle will prick ... Wow ... It's her father who is crying. ...

6. Today, a classmate went to the supermarket to buy things. He saw a man asking his boss: Boss, do you have Dove batteries? The boss looked blankly for a while and said, We have Fu Nan chocolate here! !

7. It's getting colder and colder. My wife's new autumn trousers are long and fat, and their legs are always on the shuttle. After listening to my complaints several times, my wife picked up scissors and "clicked" several times to cut off the feet of shorts and changed them to step on pants, making me feel embarrassed to take off my shoes outside.

8. My daughter-in-law went to the market to buy food, and my son and I were at home. A waste collector came. I thought my pocket money was running out this month. In order to replenish the stock, I took out the broken fan at home and prepared to sell it. When the garbage collector gave me 1.50 yuan for my broken fan, I was particularly shocked and looked at my son in disbelief. The son stepped back and said weakly, "What's the matter? Mom won't be at home now. Do you still want to sell me? " Me: ...

9. I once visited CR Vanguard with my roommate and bought more than 200 yuan of fruit, snacks and yogurt. She didn't buy anything. When I went back, I left my things in the living room. The next afternoon, when I wanted to eat. I asked her if she couldn't find it, and she told me with a smile that she had eaten it all.

10, Mom: Did your classmate say that you were punished by your teacher today? The son nodded: Hmm. Mom: Why? Son: The teacher asked me what my dream was. I didn't answer. Mom: You idiot, you can't even know this? Son: How stupid am I? The teacher has been barking since class today, and I haven't slept well. How can I have a dream?

1 1. Mom called and said she won the money and asked me to go home for dinner. She also emphasized that she can order whatever she wants and buy whatever she wants! I am so happy that I want to order. My mother said, daughter, let's make a deal first. We can't buy seafood. I can't buy pork recently. Those beef and mutton are similar to pigs, so we can't buy them. In this cold weather, we can't buy fingers even if we kill the fish and freeze it. The stew is not clean, wash your frozen hands! I am stupefied: What do you want me to go back to eat? Mom paused and said, tofu is good. I'll buy tofu. Come back early to eat!

12, small animals in the sea get together and arrange prawns to keep order. Shrimp saw crabs running wild for a while and went over to correct them. The crab said disdainfully, "Can you control me?" Shrimp said confidently, "Why can't I control you?" The crab said with a smile, "haven't you heard of' shrimp soldiers and crab generals'?" Who will be bigger and who will be smaller? "

13. Today, my girlfriend suddenly bet with me that whoever takes care of each other first will lose. Whoever loses must promise the other one. I don't want to think that some brothers and friends foolishly won the game and lost their lives. Such a person does not deserve a girlfriend. So the next day I called my girlfriend and said, "Honey, I lost." Girlfriend: "OK, so you have to promise me one request. Let's break up!" " "

14, I really found that when boys touch girls' heads, they usually gently touch them along their hair, full of tenderness. A girl touching a boy's head is no different from touching a dog.

15, a female colleague of mine was scolded by the boss yesterday. The next day, she came in a thick coat. It's still a little hot in May. Ask her why, and answer: chilling.