Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I want to be an onion in my next life. Whoever bullies me will burst into tears.
I want to be an onion in my next life. Whoever bullies me will burst into tears.
2, you can't even cheat, how can you rest assured that you will enter the society.
3. In class, someone sent a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up ... It said, Are you there?
4. Using "none of my business" and "none of your business" skillfully can save 80% of life time.
Every time I bring my test paper home, the first thing is to wear cotton trousers to meet the storm.
I love you until the news broadcast is over.
7. What happened to my flat chest? Don't you know that I have leveled the stability of our school?
8. Reading books at ordinary times is a thirst for knowledge, while reading books before exams is a desire for survival.
9. After winter, the world is divided into two parts, one is under the covers and the other is outside.
10, life is a bowl of hot and sour soup, find balance and happiness in the hot and sour.
Life is like a box of chocolates. I never know how much I can gain weight by eating one more.
12, in fact, I was not short before, but I often took a shower and shrank later.
13, some people say that love makes a person humble and love makes a person lose himself.
14, relax, I am the only normal person in a mental hospital.
15, the so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in one word: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.
16, the bell in class sounds better than the national anthem, and the bell in class collapses more than anxiety.
17 but gold always shines, and you glass slag only reflects light!
18, the so-called low-key is just a high-profile attitude.
19, promised Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of my motherland again. I can pinch flowers and bones.
20. A good horse doesn't eat grass back, unless it is rotten fairy grass.
2 1. For a person who looks like a failure, looking in the mirror is equivalent to watching a ghost film.
22. Don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.
Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we really realize that we are "descendants of the dragon"
24. You think too complicated about others, because you are not simple.
I have a conscience, but I usually put it in the safe.
26. People who say good night to sleep often show off in an ostentatious manner after half an hour.
27, cats and tigers, you let them have a daughter, let me have a look.
28, heartless, can live a hundred years old, have a clear conscience, not tired.
I want to be an onion in my next life. Whoever bullies me will burst into tears.
Gather the people who love to shake their legs together and give each one a sewing machine.
3 1, I never told you my true identity, but I am actually Snow White.
32. Being beautiful is annoying. If I were a boy, I would marry myself.
33. Rome was not built in a day, nor were the three layers of the lower abdomen built in a day.
34. When you have been in contact with someone for a long time. You will find a hundred shortcomings in him.
It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.
36. Gradually, gradually, there are always some people who become cheap.
37. I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.
38. Love is like a joke. It killed others and hurt itself.
39. Damn it, why can't homework be "copied" and "pasted" like a computer?
40, you think you will be in my heart for a long time, tell you, you think too much.
4 1, not that I don't want to lose weight, but I'm afraid of rebounding.
42. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.
43. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Laozi said: Confucius is right.
44. Eat steamed bread. Eat kimchi. The rest of the money is used for dating.
45. Businesswomen don't know how to hate their country and do their homework all day.
46. When I was a child, I cried when I was sad. When I grow up, I will laugh when this happens.
There are so many bacteria in the outside world that I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.
48. The highest state of self-help of capable people: help the wall in, help the wall out.
My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.
1. How was the exam? Sprite is required for the exam. . Why? Because my heart is flying before the exam, my heart is cold after the exam.
2. Forgive me for dressing up beautifully, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to get to the bottom of Xueba.
Teacher, can we change the teaching methods? Like dreams.
4. A large number of defeated women have made Ma Yun today. Ma Yun has supported thousands of courier men, and the money earned by courier men has returned to the hands of prodigal women, which has been used to achieve Ma Yun!
I can tell many stories, from suitable for all ages to unsuitable for children!
6. Tell me what fruit you like to eat. Wash the fruit, cut the fruit, cut the fruit.
7. When I was a child, I often wondered whether I would go to Peking University or Tsinghua when I grew up. Now I think too much.
8. Say you like it with photos and lie down! You think you are in Taobao?
9. The common problems of teachers now: favoritism, corporal punishment, sudden questions and various procrastination. Why did you give up treatment?
10. A mirror was installed in the school stairs, telling us that ugly people should read more books.
1 1. People like me who don't even know a few famous brands sometimes don't even feel that others are showing off their wealth.
12.iphone is thinner, ipad is thinner, Oreo is thinner, and even feels thinner. Homework Jun, when will you get thinner?
13. I have an empty heart, but God gave me a body during my period.
14. Some boys don't even know what a girl's personality is like. Just look at a photo and say whether you like it or not. It's called buying food.
15. I want to go to the toilet to calm down. Eating shit won't solve the problem.
16. What's wrong with you, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with you, I'm sure you can't hold your head up when you see me, and you're still so proud.
17. I hate the nonsense that tells me why you gave up treatment, which makes me look saved.
18. My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.
19. I saw Goddess on the Internet today, and I sent her a message: Are you there? Ten minutes later, the goddess replied, yes, why? Oh, my God, the goddess replied to me! I replied excitedly: then you pull first, and then we'll talk. An hour has passed, why hasn't the goddess finished?
20. The alarm clock only woke up my shell, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.
2 1. I think it is a hooligan's behavior for a girl to say that she is cold when she is alone.
22. Many things come from being full, such as losing weight.
23. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: sleepy in spring, sleepy in summer and sleepy in autumn.
24. You don't need too many good friends, but two are enough. One is willing to lend you money, and when he asks you for a debt, the other is willing to kill him.
The most beautiful thing is not that I love you, but that you have lost weight.
25. Although I was dumbfounded by Xueba's achievements, the speed at which I handed in my thesis absolutely stunned Xueba.
27. The weather is very cold. If you can't give me a hug, please buy me a coat
28. I usually forget to scold you. I don't want to wait for me to hit you before I know that I am both civil and military.
29. Life is too short to be sexy.
30. Part I: Maybe it seems to be approximate; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible.
3 1, some things don't need to be wrangled, seemingly obeying and secretly resisting.
32. Admit your mistakes and never change.
33. A man is a dog. Whoever has the ability will take it.
34. The oath was just a slip of the tongue.
35. I woke up in the morning thinking I had grown up, only to find that the quilt cover was horizontal.
36. Ahem! Say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.
37. I suggest that everyone should know my appearance first, and appreciate it second.
38. From heaven to hell, I was just passing by.
As a matter of fact, I am homesick. It's just a matter of who I live in.
40. I am not your little raccoon. It's fun to play without you
A classic sentence describing a tearful face.
I'm afraid this is the drunken movie I've ever seen. Yes, it is not misspelled. I'm drunk. I like this subtle, warm, delicate and feminine expression. All the expressions of surprise, joy, shyness, moving and even being at a loss come from real emotions. Two shots, touching. The letter was cautious: did he really write his name on the library card? Crying: How are you? I'm fine. Late confession, persistence, purity, feeling but not hurting. Love letters are related to love and happiness, even if they have nothing to do with me. I hope we can all choose to be a bright person.
For example, the refreshing wind in the mountains, the warm tears in the ancient city, a person's kindness and the courage to meet again after the broken faith have all been lost, and there will be another way to meet again. I have a lot of helplessness, a lot of confusion, a lot of questions, and a lot of likes, but when I think of you, I am already in tears. -Li Yuefu "On the Bus"
I felt alive at the moment when I burst into tears.
I saw his tears, the executioner's knife was too fast, his head fell to the ground, and people were still conscious. I saw him kneeling in the crowd, tears streaming down his face. Under the stage, countless dignitaries, rich children and men who broke their heads to grab her stationery came to see her die.
The fireworks went out. The audience dispersed in a hubbub. Finally, he is willing to cry for her. It turns out that peach blossoms are not heartless. If I had known this, it would be priceless to meet for the first time, and it is rare to have a heart. I don't know if I can hide. It's fate. ‖-"Yu" Sometimes I feel depressed, can't sleep and burst into tears because of something.
But I never thought about suicide, never bought sleeping pills, and never restrained myself from crying. Let nature take its course and everything will be fine. -a deer cat lost in the forest fell in love with someone who shouldn't love, and listened endlessly in the dead of night. She was speechless and burst into tears. There will always be someone in her life to remind her that I love her and can be desperate. I regard her as a naughty child and keep her wholeheartedly. However, life is like this, and I will always live according to my own wishes. I feel like a madman.
You think I'm happy and relieved. I didn't know I was crying on the other side. Nothing hurts more than heartache. You love me a little yourself. I'm sorry for hurting you so many times and cheating you so many times. If I can reconnect, I would like to be a good friend and sincere friend for life.
Let Xin Wei remember the day of parting.
You stood by the roadside with tears in your eyes. I tried to hold back my tears, knowing that I would never see you again. I said with a wry smile, this is destiny takes a hand's farewell to Tianya, and you will eventually reach your other shore. I am also destined to look for the pure land. I recall those who just burst into tears and feel sorry for myself. The so-called growth, but after those things, gradually hardened his heart, put on a mask and put on a fake smile.
I still remember reading a passage in a book: after all, it is not two people who have never seen human sufferings since childhood who are slowly overcoming their long-term inertia towards another person, smoothing their edges and corners, and slowly growing up in impetuous adolescence. At that time, after reading this article, I felt that I had been inserted with countless sharp knives, as if I had heard a voice I had never heard before. Looking at the author's name again, an unspeakable pain washed away like a flood, and before you know it, you burst into tears and laughed.
The name of this article is: We all gave our hearts and finally lost to the young. You haven't seen me take a shower, because you sent me a message and I did it for a second; You haven't seen me sleepy but persistent, just waiting for you to say good night; You haven't seen me smile and tell you that it doesn't matter, I'm fine when I'm already crying. You haven't seen it, so you don't understand, maybe you don't understand, but you don't feel it because you don't like it.
You turn a blind eye when I love you. Accompanied by beautiful women, smiling like flowers; When I left, you regretted it. Lonely, tears streaming down her face.
The third year of cherry blossom fall
I collapsed in the west bank, and you numbly raised your cold sword. I watched the cherry blossoms in full bloom in despair this year, and I clearly heard the call of ninety-nine dead people under the cherry trees. Your oath has finally come true, and my blood has become the last memorial. But you will never know that someone in this west bank once put down the sword behind her ninety-nine times and listened to the cries of innocent people and burst into tears, just because she could not forget the moment when cherry blossoms fell on the west bank. Someone blinked naively and the drunks raised their glasses.
Tearfully said that she had no regrets when she was young. Because I retired, so I regarded it as a revenge war? He didn't. Because of the inseparable relationship with Jiashi, there are complicated emotions? Neither did he.
Yes, that's it. not too good , not too bad It seems heartless, but it is such a loyal attitude towards glory and games. This is the glory of the first God that Chen Guo saw in his eyes. With this, Chen Guo felt that he had been a fan of him for so many years. This is a truly admirable man, because he can do things that people can't. Take Chen Guo as an example. Although she understands these truths and recognizes this attitude, she can't do it by herself. She can't face Jiashi with a normal heart. When she thought of what Harvest did to Ye Qiu, she wished Harvest had been abused by Xing Xin for one hundred times, and then lined up in tears outside the stadium to confess. -"full-time master" for a long time, I don't know how long. I looked at the provoked crowd, at the naked man in the dormitory opposite the building who thought others couldn't see and didn't draw the curtains, at the crowded but neatly arranged sky in the distance, and at the stars all over the sky. Being alone is a lonely month forever, reminding you of the past and the future, life and death. But in the end, we will find that a person's days will always pass, and when you think back to that balcony, that night sky, those people will burst into tears. However, you once knew that the naked man is the happiest, at least in his eyes, he has never been seen.
Forget it and forget it. Drunk is drunk. Why miss him every day? Why cry every day? Why bother to forget him every day?
I will never forget you.
It's not how much I love you, but that there won't be another person. As long as I remember it, I will burst into tears. Love is a silent song, out of tune, but it makes people burst into tears.
A pair of hands that can make people cry appeared in front of her, just like Ye Xiu's hands.
These hands look very thin, their fingers are slender, and their joints are not as thick and hard as ordinary men, but they are also very clear. Thin fingertips and neatly manicured nails are seriously inconsistent with this guy's sloppy appearance. Chen Guo is not an opponent who pays too much attention to it, but then a good-looking girl came to the Internet cafe, and she gradually began to pay attention to it. At this time, it was shocked by Ye Xiu's hands. Hands are perfect hands. They sound like music. However, when we watched Ye Xiu's left hand banging on the keyboard, Chen Guo had only one feeling: the hand speed was too slow. -Ye Xiu's "Full-time Master" I saw the loneliness in the distance and burst into tears.
When you turn around, are you already in tears!
A married man who worked in Xingtang soon got drunk with some friends and passed out. After being carried home, his wife tried to sober him up in various ways, but to no avail, so she called his colleague. Colleagues said, you shouted: check the post! The wife didn't understand, but she did it. Unexpectedly, as soon as the voice dropped, the man jumped up and shouted, I didn't sleep, just lie down for a while, don't deduct points! My wife was in tears at this time. It turns out that it is not easy for my husband to support his family!
For those friends who have devoted their youth and shed blood in the Tang Dynasty-"going to work in the Tang Dynasty", there is hatred, dissatisfaction, injustice, sadness or joy, excitement, happiness and emotion in their hearts, and they will never yell, cry or jump into ecstasy again. It's not that I'm not good at expression, but that I changed my expression.
How many times on the surface I smiled and shook my head and said it doesn't matter. When I turned my head, I was in tears.
We'll talk when we get back.
That, that what. I'll heal first. Put on your clothes and be careful of catching cold. Wardrobe? No, just put the clothes in the space ring. It stinks. Come with me. Overbearing and arrogant words flashed through my ears again and again, and I missed them like a spring and burst into tears. Even though I'm a proud generation, I can't restrain those feelings. Sweet shoulders trembled, tears welled up, and tears streamed down her face. Is this love? It is really mysterious! Haiyan, where are you? Where are you! Blasted into the purple heart cold shout. -Zilong Haiyan broke the stone "Haiyan". One second I was thinking, and the next I was in tears.
We never said goodbye that year, but now we have drifted away. Take the lead, time flies, I planted myself in the clouds and floated with the wind; I never burst into tears because of the flying eagle on the horizon, nor will I regret missing the burning peach blossoms in Shannan. I just have no choice but to grow up occasionally. -Expo for middle school students
May you take control of your life.
Be a queen and be kind to all good things. Not only is your appearance attractive enough, but the king is strong enough to resist any sadness, and you can also be moved to tears for small things. Understand and thank those who point out your bad habits and quietly correct them, just to be a better self. Don't let go of your dreams, or time will forget that you are sober, honest, kind and responsible. You should be an excellent plum. May you meet a better self, my queen, and talk about it with tears in your eyes.
1, yes, it is still crying, no tears, because it has flowed into my heart.
2. My sister was lying on the bed, convulsing all over, and all the depressed and painful sighs seemed to be pulled out from the depths of her soul and scattered around the house, weaving a dark blue sadness. The lights became dim and shallow.
The best preservative in the world can't make youth and love immortal forever.
4. A heart belongs to a person. What is fairness in love? Love is deeply hurt, and there is no unfairness in love. Falling in love with someone you shouldn't love is a permanent sigh, and falling in love with someone who doesn't love you is the beginning of tears.
Would you feel sad on your way home without me to carry the lamp for you?
6. Tears drop by drop from my eyes. I don't want to dry them and stop crying. Soon, the jeans were wet. Deep and shallow colors smile at me with a dark and ironic atmosphere.
7. Crying doesn't mean I give in; Taking a step back doesn't mean I give up; Letting go doesn't mean I give up; Smiling doesn't mean I'm happy!
8. Later, when she looked up, I found her eyes were red, her nose was red, and her face was dyed red with tears. Everyone who saw it knew that she had just cried.
9. Forget your favorite song and tie my eyes. Are you happy? I will never be sad again. Don't underestimate me. What can't be overcome? Singing a song is a big deal. Although it is a sad song, her voice is a little shaky. Much better than you, I am still very happy. I won't be sad. Don't underestimate me. What can't survive? Burn your letter. Forget your favorite song and tie my eyes. Tears can't fall, but I'm still very happy.
10, sometimes crying is not because of sadness. If you miss something, you miss a lifetime. People will change and keep a constant promise, but they can't keep a fickle heart.
1 1. When you can't help crying, keep your eyes open and don't blink. You will see the whole process of the world from clear to fuzzy, and your heart will become clear in tears at that moment!
12, the deposit is infinite; Sorrow never hurts; Missing has become a disease and eternal separation; Open your eyes and close your eyes. Tears are thin.
13, she covered her eyes with trembling hands, and after a long time, she slowly moved away. She feels that one second is like spending the whole spring, summer, autumn and winter.
14, it's windy and cold tonight, and tears always dry first and then fall off. Sure enough, girls like me are not allowed to cry.
15, the heart is simple, in the indifferent world, I just want to have a pure heart. I also want to make friends around me and get together on romantic dates, but it only takes two or three branches to enjoy the feast. Give each other free space at the right time, and you will breathe the breeze from Shan Ye, with a hint of the fragrance of wild chrysanthemums.
16, tears streaming down, only to know that separation is another kind of understanding.
17, when I miss you, memory is the only prescription to accompany me through the long night. Build a cup of strong tea, miss will dissolve into bitter tea, and the faint, dancing green leaves are my flying thoughts. Only on such a night, in such bitterness, do I know that missing is also bitter.
18, happiness should be accompanied by sadness, and the rain will clear up. If rain remains after rain, if sorrow remains after sorrow. Please let us face our future parting calmly. Smile to find an impossible you!
19, looking at the landlord in the distance, I closed my eyes and wanted to know where she was. I can't alleviate her pain. The wind blew across my cheeks, leaving dry tears, and I cried, too!
20, the first step, look up. Step two, close your eyes. In this way, tears will flow into my heart.
2 1, how can I not be sad and how can I comfort myself? Deceive your eyes, but not your own heart. Still secretly miss your heart. Once upon a time, I couldn't control my messy emotions.
22. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget, but the tears I shed didn't deceive myself. I want to give you happiness, but I can't enter your world. I want to trade my whole world for a ticket to your world, but that's just my wishful thinking.
23. People who are really miserable shed tears that others can't know behind their smiling faces.
24. My heart became clear in tears at that moment! Love for a long time has become a habit; When it hurts for a long time, it becomes a notch; Hating for a long time has become a burden.
25, is it necessary? Arrive? , is always the most wanted? .
26, coastal sand, gathered on the shore. I fantasize about seeing the blue sea and sky, hearing the rough waves and feeling the sea breeze. Bury yourself in it and let go of your uncontrollable thoughts.
27. Some people will be engraved in their memories forever. Even if they forget his voice, his smile and his face, the feeling when they think of him will never change!
28. Looking up at the bright moon in the sky, I opened my eyes wide and my tears condensed like crystals.
29, the two roads that are inclined, the next stop is destined to be without each other. The lamp at the bedside, as dark as an old photo, has fixed all this. Sadness no longer needs words. Tired of losing sleep with your eyes closed, is it because I am running around in your dreams?
30, love a person, it is inevitable to cry; Being loved by a person will always earn his tears.
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