Please tell the jokes you think are good, thank you!

1, went out for a snack at 9 o'clock last night. Seeing a lot of people talking and laughing in front, I went to see it. It turns out that there are two people on the ground, one after the other, climbing forward, or the standard "crawling forward" posture, but the speed is relatively slow, and both of them smell of alcohol. Just as everyone was laughing, the person in front suddenly did something that made everyone faint: he turned around, waved to the person behind him and shouted, "Come on! Keep up! " 2. Last time I went out for dinner with some friends, one of them was drunk, so I sent him back by motorcycle. It's very cold, and his nose has been runny because of the wind. When he arrived, he rubbed his hand and said, "Look, I have a nosebleed. Please take me to the hospital." After that, I kept wiping my nose on me, and then I began to cry: "I lost so much blood that I was dying." Please take me to the hospital quickly. " That doesn't count. Later, I came to the intersection and met a red light. As soon as I stopped, he spat at the taxi window and said, "I vomited blood, and you didn't take me to the hospital." Finally, I let you call my dad. Just say that my son is unfilial and left first. " After that, I cried loudly, which made me ashamed. ......

3. I heard from friends that some of them once went out to vomit after drinking too much. After one vomited, the other said to him, "Look how ugly you vomited. I'll spit a Yang Guifei for you!" " Then I started vomiting.

4, college students get together at night, a friend drank too much, we helped him back to the dormitory. On the way, he squatted and vomited, just opposite a motorcycle, and the lights were facing us. This is the buddy who looked up and said, "So soon, the sun came out ..."

Xiao Li is Xiao Ming's roommate, and she is shy. She is a beautiful girl in The Loved One, but she never dares to show her heart. She drinks all day. One day, as drunk as a fiddler, he cried to Xiaoming and others about his lovesickness. A friend advised, "Why don't you dare to play a game?" Everybody clap. Xiao Li was full of pride, dialed the phone, found the girl, and said loudly, "I love you so much that I'm going crazy ... Do you know who I am?" I don't know. "That's good." 1 of "pa", hangs up the phone.

6. A university dormitory celebrated the senior's birthday, drank wildly in a small restaurant, got as drunk as a fiddler, and staggered back to the dormitory one after another. GG in the upper bunk was weak and couldn't climb up, so he slept in the lower bunk. The people in the lower berth returned to the dormitory and saw someone sleeping. He said that you were sleeping, so he went to sleep in the lower berth. When I woke up the next day, I found that there was one person missing and there was snoring under the bed. Everyone fainted with laughter. ....

7. Every time Lao Li comes home, he vomits after drinking. I don't know how angry he is with his wife. At midnight, Lao Li came home drunk and knocked at the door. My wife knew that Lao Li was drunk again when she heard the noise. He shouted, "You damn fool, don't come into the house until you have vomited!" " So I heard Lao Li's "whoa whoa whoa" spit wine. For a long time, my wife asked, "Have you finished vomiting?" Lao Li replied, "It's over!" So the wife opened the door and Lao Li stumbled into the room, went to bed and fell asleep. The wife got up early the next day, opened the door and shouted, "You damn fool! Did you eat after drinking wine last night? " Lao Li's sleepy answer: "Eat!"

"What did you eat?" Jiaozi!' "yes! I also know that it is jiaozi. What is the stuffing inside? " "................." "Hum! It is strange that you should know. The whole fucking jiaozi! " ……

8, a brother, especially loyal, once got drunk (two bottles per person on average), everyone fainted, and one of them fell asleep. The loyal brother rushed forward, waded beside the fallen brother and pulled him to himself-brother! Sleep on me, don't catch cold! ! !

9. At the reunion of old classmates, a brother was drunk. At this time, the classmate asked: What time is it? Drunk brother took out a bunch of keys from his pocket, took a look, and then calmly said, 9: 40.

65438+ Why is the bed so big? "

1 1. A gentleman drank a glass of good wine, got drunk outside one day, and then stopped a taxi to go home. It happened that a lady was driving. After getting on the bus, a gentleman mumbled about this place. After a while, he began to untie his tie. The female driver felt that the wine was very hot, so she didn't care. She just unbuttoned her shirt and took down the chair in the front row. I want to be indecent! A gentleman was startled and said, "Who are you?" What are you doing in my house? I have a wife! "The female driver in distress situation.