A mother said: Why should I have three children?

While eating lunch in the cafeteria, female colleague B said to female colleague A: Have a third child as soon as possible. Is your second child going to kindergarten? Prepare early while you're young, and you won't really have a baby in a few years. Two other colleagues also echoed this.

Colleague A didn’t know what to say while eating, and the food he was eating suddenly didn’t taste good.

Colleague A has given birth to two daughters. She has paid so much for her children in the past few years. She was originally very beautiful, but she has become much more haggard in recent years. Seeing her thin appearance makes me, an ordinary colleague, feel distressed.

Women go through hell for their children, and they also have to go through the hard work and care of raising children, especially when the elderly are not very helpful and the husband is not considerate. We women should all understand and feel the same way, so why should we persuade another woman to have three children? What conditions do you need to have the courage to have a third child?

Ask colleague A: "Are you willing to give birth?" "Of course I don't want to give birth..." Colleague A replied with a wry smile. Asked colleague B: "Are you planning to have a third child? Your family is in good condition, and your mother-in-law is nice, and she will help you take care of them." "I don't want to give birth anymore, I'm getting older."

The two colleagues again He echoed, "She has a son, so she doesn't have to give birth. And even if xxx doesn't want to have a child, but the old man wants a grandson and the husband wants a son, then he might have to have one..."

May 31 this year , the three-child policy was announced, and the entire Internet exploded. Weibo, Zhihu, public accounts, etc., were hotly discussed, commented, talked about, and all kinds of jokes were flying. Although, after several months of calming down, today, several colleagues are still discussing this topic.

Mom A:

Haha, if the financial conditions are average, the mother-in-law is old and in poor health, and does not help take care of her, and the husband is not considerate and has no ability to take responsibility, the woman will almost die. After giving birth to a third child, you have to work and take care of others, and you have to take care of the boss and the second child. How exhausted is it...

In fact, the number of babies you have depends on whether you have a responsible husband. Whether you can take the responsibility will reduce a lot of the mother's anxiety, and she will be able to travel lightly on the road to raising her baby.

Mom B:

Let’s put it this way, if you have a second or third child in a family, you may feel very happy at a certain moment, but let me tell you, unless you are very rich in the future, Otherwise, as a female mother, you may have to take care of your children for the rest of your life.

When I was young, I took care of my own children. When I got older, I took care of my children. When my grandchildren were almost grown up, I looked back and found that I was already in my seventies or eighties, and this was how it would be for the rest of my life.

Mom C:

I am the eldest in the family, with two younger sisters and one younger brother. Families with many children are indeed very lively and happy, which is something that families with only children may not experience. However, only parents who have raised so many children can tell you about the hard work involved. Especially in today's society, it is impossible to raise a child with love alone. The test is still the economic foundation.

Especially for a family with two or three sons, thinking about the future, if I have so many sons, I am afraid that I will die young.

Mom D:

Among my friends, those whose first child is a daughter are planning to have a second child, while those whose first child is a son are rarely interested. There are almost no friends who have three children. Can I have a different voice? I am located in a second- and third-tier city. As an accident, my third child has been in my belly for eight months... They have all caught up. Let go of the second child when you are pregnant with the second child, and let go of the third child when you are pregnant with the third child.

Let me tell you why I decided to have three children: first, the first two children were born naturally, and I would never consider a cesarean section; second, my husband is basically reliable, he will share the housework, and he will pay for it. The kind of time to spend with the children; thirdly, there is not much trouble with childcare at present, the children love each other, and Dabao does not have to worry too much about his studies; fourthly, he lives next door to a nine-year school, the school is okay, and there is no pressure in the compulsory education stage; Fifth, there is no mortgage or car loan, and the financial pressure is not particularly great. The fees for ordinary kindergartens and tutoring classes can be afforded. Sixth, my parents-in-law are willing to take care of the children after they retire, and they stay with us and live within a 5-minute walk of us. Due to the distance, there is no fire at home, and the parents-in-law take care of food.

In fact, I struggled for a long time before considering giving birth to three children. After all, for three children, it is best to prepare a house for each child. In case the child wants to study abroad, or his grades are not satisfactory, he will go to a private school. It’s more difficult… But then again, how much money is enough? Are you sure you are an only-child family, or will it be good if you have fewer children? Aren't many people shouting that a couple has four elderly people to take care of and nine grandchildren to take care of? Could it be that if they remain an only child, someone will share in taking care of their parents? This is a contradiction, isn't it? Are you sure that all the energy spent on one child is what the child needs? Anyway, my daughter doesn’t want me to stare at her every day. So look at this from a developmental perspective... Preparing too much for children is not necessarily good. Children will grow up and become talented, or at least be able to support themselves.

Mom E:

There is no better choice than this to get your husband to join the camp. Don’t watch the kids silently. If the kids are noisy at night, just kick them up, even if you can’t do anything. You have to watch him and instill in him the importance of a father to his children every day. You see, your child is very timid when you are not around. You see, he is very lively when he sees you. You must make him feel that the child is not as good as him. , he will not be healthy both in his heart and in his life. Let him understand the importance, and then take care of the child to ensure that he does not want a second child, even if you want him, he will not have one.

Mom E:

Mothers of three children are warriors that are hard to understand. Except for those who have mines at home.

Giving birth and raising a baby is really a marathon of physical strength, financial strength and endurance.

Mom F:

Raising children is not easy, and it is even harder for women who work and take care of their children at the same time. The two children are going through a rough time, going to work + taking care of the kids + doing housework + tutoring Homework, if the child is sick, almost collapses. He expressed that he was afraid of having a third child.

Mom G:

I am the kind of person who just wants to live a comfortable life. If I give birth to three children, I will be tied up by the baby for the rest of my life and will have no life of my own.

Mom H:

The family conditions are not good. After giving birth to a second child, every day of life is spent on every penny. , I feel like my life has been ruined.

Mom I:

I unexpectedly gave birth to three children, and I had to go crazy with the baby every day... On the surface, I accepted the arrangement of fate, but the sudden sense of failure was worse than Coptis chinensis is still bitter when held in the mouth.

Mom J:

After giving birth to two daughters, my mother-in-law gave birth to a grandson, and my husband gave birth to a son. Originally, my relationship with my mother-in-law was not good, but my relationship with my husband was average. I was urged every day, and I didn’t want to have a baby, but I couldn’t stand it any longer, so I agreed. After a narrow escape, I finally gave birth to a son. I ended up raising my son by myself. I had agreed to have my mother-in-law take care of me. But my mother-in-law got sick and complained about her poor health. By, didn't help me for a few days. My husband used work as an excuse to come home late every day. When he came home, he would take a look at his son, tease the eldest son and the second son before he fell asleep, and wanted his help to dream. Now I can’t go to work, take care of my baby, do housework, tutor my eldest daughter in homework, play with my second eldest child... I haven’t had a good night’s sleep, I have backache every day and am exhausted. What's more devastating than being physically tired is feeling tired, heartbroken, and living with tears in my eyes, not knowing how long I can hold on! I thought that after having a son, my husband’s heart would be with me and the baby, and he would become more diligent. I’m dreaming! I thought that after having a son, my relationship with my husband would be better, and my relationship with my mother-in-law would be better, dreaming!

Mom K:

If the government provides 100,000 yuan in subsidies for the first child, 200,000 yuan for the second child, and 300,000 yuan for the third child, regardless of the year, it will be a cash subsidy in one step, and I will immediately I am planning to have a second child.

…

You see, only a very small number of mothers are willing to give birth to three children. Most mothers do not want to have three children because they have to bear too many things. It is too hard for mothers in ordinary families to raise children. There are also a series of problems such as education, medical care, and elderly care, which discourage mothers.

So, whether you want to have three children or not, the most important person, the mother, must be cautious. If the economy allows, you are in good health, your husband is considerate and responsible, and your parents-in-law can also help, the most important thing is , If you are willing from the bottom of your heart, then take advantage of your youth.

Ask me, if I didn’t give birth to my second child, how could I have a third child? Then why don't I have a second child?

Both husband and wife work, and of course they abide by the family planning policy. When the two-child policy came out, I was in my forties and my child was in his second year of high school. My husband and I asked: Son, does mom want to have another baby? The son said: Listen to mom and dad, I support it.

However, I think that my son is now in his second year of high school, and his second and third years of high school are a critical period for learning, and he needs the support of his parents.

If I were pregnant and gave birth to a child in the past two years, I would not have the energy to take care of him, and it would even affect his mood and distract him. Moreover, I am older. My first child was a caesarean section. I experienced pain from 10pm to 8am before the surgery. Older mothers have unpredictable results.

Also, my parents are getting older and need their daughter’s care and companionship. My mother-in-law is also old.

After much thought, I still have to be responsible first for the people closest to me, and also for myself. Even if I can give birth to a baby successfully, the age gap between me and the eldest child is too big. Can we get close to each other?

So, give up the idea of ??having a second child and cherish everything you have now.