Chinese homophonic humor jokes

People who love to laugh are never too bad luck, so do you like to laugh? Here, I collected a lot of funny Chinese homophonic humor jokes. Let's have a look! Maybe I can beat your laughing blood!

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because the car shop didn't have a Geely license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

2. A chef was invited to hold a banquet, and he brought a little chef. The cook stole many things while cooking: he hid the fungus in the little cook's hat; Pig heart and pig lungs are hidden in the arms of the little cook; The large intestine is wrapped around the waist of the little cook; Sugarcane is inserted in the pants of the little cook; The egg was put under the arm by the little chef.

He suspected that the fungus was stolen less, so he asked his master for fungus.

The host said: "The fungus is on the cabinet. Take it! "

Thinking it was him, the little cook panicked and took off his hat from his head.

When the cook saw that the little cook had collapsed, he scolded severely, "Where is your heart?"

The little cook quickly took out his heart and lungs and said, "Here it is."

In a rage, the cook kicked the little cook to the ground with one foot, only to hear "crack" and "crack", the eggs were beaten, the sugarcane was broken, and the large intestine at the waist fell off.

When the master saw it, he shouted in horror, "If he steals, he steals. You beat him to a broken waist, leg and stomach. How can you get it? "

Chinese homophonic humor joke 2 1. The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk.

The loach is very angry: "Are you blind?"

The crab is very wronged: "no, I am a crab!" " "

2. In the driving school theory class today, the teacher said, "Anyone who causes a serious traffic accident to escape is forbidden to drive for life."

A girl in the back raised her hand and said, "Then I will never get married?"

My girlfriend's name is Zhu Jing. I took my girlfriend back to my hometown in the countryside for the first time. As soon as I came in, I said, Mom, Zhu Jing is here.

Mother listened and said: The pig came in and just drove it out!

On his deathbed, Grandpa called his young and ignorant grandson to the bed and said with his last breath, "Son, this world ... is so good to be an official!" " The little grandson is an obedient child, and he firmly remembers grandpa's words before his death. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin manufacturer in the village.

China's homophonic humor joke 3 1. In Chinese class, Xiao Ming didn't listen carefully when the teacher was talking about text analysis. Suddenly, the teacher asked, "Xiao Ming, please answer, 1 2 What does this article say?" Xiao Ming was stunned and said, "Did the article make a clean break that he broke up with Ma Yili?"

Niu Niu and Da Zhuang are playing downstairs. Niu Niu suggested: "Let's play the star!" "Yes, yes!" "You think I'm G.E.M.!" "ok!" In a moment of excitement, Da Zhuang pushed Niu Niu to the ground and rode up. Niu Niu was startled. She groaned and screamed: "Wang Dazhuang, damn it, who the fuck let you ride me as a stool!"

The bus I drove arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in a column. Just as the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside. "I'm going to die in your car!"

I was so nervous that I closed the door immediately, stepped on the gas pedal and thought; "There are many strange people in this city."

Unexpectedly, the lady called a taxi to chase my bus and finally stopped.

The door opened and the lady shouted again; "Why don't you stop? I will die in your car! "

"I'm afraid" asked her; "Miss, what's bothering you?"

He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I'm dying [the key is in your car!"

A woman came to a man's house to play, and the woman teased him and said, I will marry you if you have a piece of land. Then the doorbell rang, and the courier brother said, sir, there is a courier for you!

Chinese homophonic humor joke 4 1 regional culture

A class teacher took maternity leave, and the school arranged Mr. Li geographically to take his place. One day, the monitor found Mr. Li and complained anxiously: "The blackboard newspaper in our class has not been published this month, and the school will evaluate it next week." Please set a theme and ask everyone to provide the manuscript. "

Mr. Li thought for a moment and said, "Go back to class immediately and tell the students that this month's blackboard newspaper will take' regional culture' as the theme, and please actively contribute particularly funny homophonic jokes."

The monitor returned to the classroom and announced it widely on the blackboard: please contribute actively to the theme of this month's blackboard newspaper-hell.

2. Fish is sold in the market

In a busy market, a fish seller shouted "fresh fish". At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted "bubble gum (bubble water)". Hearing this, the fish seller said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was soaked in water?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. Just then, a bean sprout seller shouted, "Bean sprouts (fighting)"

A security officer came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado (come with me)." After hearing this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you."

The steel door is broken.

The door of the bathroom at home is a particularly funny homophonic joke made of plastic steel. One day, the door broke down and got stuck there, so my dad called the master who sold the door.

My dad: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken."

Master: "Er ~ ~ Well, why don't I call you 120?"

4. America and Japan are in Asia

Mr. Li: How do you say that the United States and Japan are both in Asia?

Global Connect: I said, what's wrong with being in Asia every day? Aren't I in Asia every day?

Step 5 Dip in and eat standing up

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

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