A funny joke.

1. I have worked hard for so long, but if I have a little talent, I should show some signs of success.

My daughter is seven years old. I had a quarrel with her father. When I got home, I advised my daughter, "Who do you think I should call?" The daughter said, "It's up to you, don't forget whose belly I came from!" " "

3. Girl's father: "I have raised her for 20 years. Why should I marry her to you! " "Young man:" You only raised her for 20 years. I will continue to support her for 40 years, and I will support you for 30 years. Why don't you marry her to me? "

Arguing with my wife, she ran out by herself! My four-year-old daughter is still eating there. I scolded her: still eat, your mother doesn't know where she is! She glanced at me and said, I lost my wife. Find it yourself.

Five. Two old people are chatting. An old man said, "My son made a promise. He works as a manager in a big company in the city with an annual salary of 200 thousand. What about your son? " The other said, "I don't know. I heard that finding him will reward 1 10,000. "

When I met a bear in the forest, I immediately fell on the ground and pretended to be dead. The bear turned several times and was about to leave when the damn cell phone rang! I hung up the phone quickly and found the bear coming towards me again. I thought to myself: this is dead! I cann't believe I hung up on my wife

7. A woman saw a boy smoking on the road and asked him, "Little friend, does your father know you smoke?" Without looking up, the boy replied directly, "Do you know that you are talking to a strange man outside?"

My wife told me before marriage: I have many shortcomings, but I have at least two advantages, one is diligence and the other is good kung fu. I married her without considering the second point. It was not until after marriage that she often beat me black and blue that I realized that she was really good at kung fu!

One day, the mother asked her 3-year-old son, "What is the word' ask'?" The son replied, "Read the door." Mom prompts: "Look carefully, there is a word in the' door'." The son suddenly realized, "I see, read' door'."

10. There were so many people on the subway that I whispered in my girlfriend's ear, "My feet are numb!" My best friend immediately said loudly, "What? You are pregnant for three months! " I was at a loss when several people stood up and offered their seats to me.

1 1. My boyfriend is very picky. After thinking about it, I sent him a breakup message: Let's break up! I waited for several days and didn't reply to me! The end of the month passed, and suddenly I received a message: Dear, there was no SMS package last month. Why did you break up with me? I can do anything for you!

12. A friend made an appointment with a MM online. After opening the room, he suddenly had something urgent to leave, so he informed his friends to come and enjoy life and told him to remember to give me the room rate. As a result, his friend found out that it was his girlfriend when he arrived at the hotel, and then they broke up.

Thirteen. When the male ticket first came to my house, my mother specially brought a new quilt. The next day, she woke him up and saw that his face was purple, purple to the neck. I'm fine. My hands are purple. I didn't feel uncomfortable when I asked him. I couldn't figure it out for a long time and finally found the reason. The original new quilt faded.

Fourteen. The day before the exam, the boy said to Ban Hua, "You should wear less for the exam tomorrow!" " Ban Hua asked in surprise, "Why?" The boy said, "In this way, the invigilator only stares at you, so we can cheat calmly!" " "I'm drunk, this is actually a way.

15. My ex-girlfriend opened a small noodle restaurant, and I went in and asked for a bowl of beef noodles. After paying for the meal, she refused to accept anything, so I put the money on the table and left. Unexpectedly, she chased it out and stuffed it back into my pocket. I told her, "It's not easy to do business, so I won't come again." She said, "I don't charge you money to ask you not to come in the future!" " "

15. The neighbor is a lovely child. One day, a guest came and pointed to the wedding photo on the wall and asked, who are the two people on the wall? A: "Mom and Dad, why didn't you?" The child held back for a long time and said, "I, I, I can't climb up!" " "

17. One day, a pupil confessed to his teacher who had a crush on him for a long time. The teacher told him that it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher said, "I don't want children." The pupil said, "I'll be careful!" " "

Talking to my wife about mistress, I said, daughter-in-law, do you think if I find mistress, will you divorce me? Daughter-in-law gave me a look and said lightly: There is no divorce in my dictionary, only widowhood.

19. Today, my wife and I cleaned together. My wife told me to clean the bottom of the bed. At first, I strongly opposed it. I didn't feel so dirty when cleaning. Unexpectedly, there is no dust under the bed all year round.

Twenty. In the evening, the company held a celebration dinner, and suddenly the power went out, so I bought a bundle of candles and lit them. Halfway through the writing, the boss remembered something and asked, "Who's birthday today?" A colleague felt fruitful and raised his hand and said, "boss, today is my birthday!" " "The boss said," ok, wait a minute. After the meeting, you are responsible for blowing out all the candles! ""2 1. Husband: "Why did you give that beggar so much money at once? He is a fake blind man! " Wife: "Didn't you hear him say' beautiful and kind lady …'" Husband: "It seems that he is really blind!"

22. Two people live on the18th floor of the hotel. One day they came back and found that the elevator was dead. They decided to take the stairs. To amuse themselves, they told each other jokes. Arriving at the17th floor, one of them said, "Let me tell a sad story. I forgot my room key! " "

Twenty-three Arguing with his wife in the street. The reason is that I don't want to go shopping with her She said angrily, "Now shut up and go shopping with me. If you dare to argue with me again, I'll call you a rascal. If you dare to leave, I will call you a thief. "

Twenty-four Once I quarreled with my dad, I got angry and said, "Dad, I am your own. No, you called me that. " "You are not born to me, you are born to your mother. Don't pull it on me. "