A very funny joke.

1, a person accidentally fell down while walking, just got up and fell down after a few steps, so he said to himself: If I had known I would fall down again, I wouldn't have got up just now. ?

After staying in a small hotel for one night, I suddenly remembered that I had to get up early the next day, so I called the switchboard to ask if there was a bed call service. The female operator said angrily, "We don't provide this service. You can call your own bed if you like, but it can't affect the next room. "

A tourist came to a hotel and saw this notice written on the door: All languages in this hotel are applicable. ?

He talked with the manager in English, German and Russian, and the manager didn't say a word, which is understandable. For a long time, tourists still suffer from the pain of not being able to go through the housing formalities.

Finally he asked in the local language:? Who knows all kinds of languages here?

The manager immediately replied: passenger. ?

A soldier happened to meet the company commander when he was carrying a bottle of wine back to the camp. He had to lie and say: I bought this bottle of wine with the colonel. Half belongs to the colonel. ?

The company commander thundered: Give me the other half! ?

The soldier said slowly, you can't fall. My half is down there. ?

In the evening, Pol.ice saw a drunk spinning around the big barrel on the side of the road and said, What's the matter with you?

? Nothing! When I go home, my home is at the end of this wooden fence. ?

7. GREAT GHOST: Last night, the intimidation plan failed!

The child complained, It's all your fault. You didn't choose a place to scare people. Why did you go to the blind massage parlor?

8. I went to the mountains to sketch. Seeing a beautiful hut on the side of the road, I sat down opposite the hut and began to draw.

9. Looking at the almost half-destroyed conference room, Hitler hysterically shouted:? Stauffenberg this bastard, incredibly want to blow me up! Who on earth ordered him to do this?

The Gestapo quickly came up with the investigation result: Tibetans.

Facing the Fuehrer's question, Himmler replied:? Every Tibetan knows this assassination plan, and they never hide it. The first thing they say when they meet anyone is: bomb Hitler.

10, driving to the funeral, the road was foggy, so I turned on the headlights for safety.

After the funeral, when I went to drive, I found that I forgot to turn off the headlights just now and the car wouldn't start.

I had to go back to the funeral home for help, and the funeral staff answered the door. I said:? My car can't move. ?

He said,? Sorry, cars are not buried here. ?

1 1, get up early for work, and a buddy from Lu Yu hurried over. Greet him: What are you doing?

Answer:? Walk the dog. ?

In a few minutes, this buddy hurried back from the side. Ask him: What's the matter?

The elder brothers calmly said: I forgot my dog. ?

12. A pregnant woman went to the hospital for a checkup, and an intern gave her a B-ultrasound. After the photo shoot, the intern said seriously: You should be prepared. You may be pregnant with a freak. It has two heads, four hands and four legs! ?

The pregnant woman was so frightened that she almost fainted! At this time, an old doctor came over, looked at the B-ultrasound and said, What are you talking about? These are twins! ! ? It wasn't long before two villagers passed by me and looked at my painting. Then one of them said to the other, why is this child drawing a toilet?

13, a vendor is selling in the community: pears, fresh pears!

An aunt shouted: hey, hey, come here! The peddler didn't hear, and the aunt continued to shout, I'm calling you. Are you deaf?

The peddler finally came, and the aunt asked, are you selling peaches?

14, at the dinner table, grandma recalled the past.

Speaking of floods, I said to my dad: Your brother was born with plenty of water, remember?

Dad nodded and said affirmatively, Yes, I remember. ?

15, there is a screen at the entrance of the hotel downstairs, which reads four big characters: guests come like clouds.

Passing by last week, I saw my boss standing in front of the screen and asked the waiter: How is business today?

Attendant:? There are no clouds in the sky. ?

16, a patient said to the doctor: I always feel like a hen for half a year! ?

Doctor:? Ah! It's been six months. Why didn't you come earlier?

Patient:? Because I want to eat eggs! ?

17, Lao Wang woke up from his dream and suddenly thought of forgetting to take sleeping pills. He took out two sleeping pills from the bottle and said to himself. Alas, I fell asleep without taking medicine. ?

18, urging children to do their homework every weekend is a fierce battle. My son was lying on the ground today and said to his father: Reading is the most useless. I studied for six years and didn't earn a penny. If I have been a beggar for six years, I don't know how much I have earned. ?

Dad shouted angrily at him:? You go and ask for it! ?

The son whispered:? If you think about it like this, the paper in front of me is unlucky. At least four words will be written: parents are dead.

19, one day when I was washing clothes in the water room, a MM came in and I said to her, Marry me. ?

At that time, she was shocked and speechless. I said, What are you doing? Give me the hanger. "

At a religious ceremony in a church, the bishop had to sit on a simple box because there were not enough chairs in the church.

Shortly after the ceremony began, the box suddenly cracked and the bishop fell to the ground. However, no one laughs at this.

After a while, the bishop said to the pastor of the church:? People here are really polite. ?

The priest said,? No, no, they think it's part of the ceremony? .

2 1, a: What do blacks fear most?

I don't know. What is this?

A: Chocolate.

B: Why?

A: for fear of biting your hand?

22. A couple celebrated their golden wedding. After a few drinks, the husband said to his wife, I'm sorry, I'm not honest with you. I haven't told you in years. Actually, I'm color blind! ?

The wife said excitedly:? I'm sorry too. I kept it from you for so many years. Actually, I'm black!

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