A joking child

Do you know any jokes that will play tricks on children? Children are the easiest to make children happy. All parents want their children to be happy and healthy every day. Do you have any jokes to make children happy? The following is a joke I carefully prepared for children, hoping to help everyone.

Child 1 1, soldier: "What bad luck! I ate a duck egg in the arithmetic exam. Grandpa called me a little white egg, my mother called me a big idiot, or my father simply ... "Ding Ding:" He didn't scold you? " Bingbing: "He told me to get out at once!" "

Three children bragged about their grandfather by the river.

A said: My grandfather is a good swimmer and can dive 10 minutes!

B said: My grandfather is the best. Once he dived in the water for 20 minutes, and no one could match him!

C said: even your grandfather can't. My grandfather dived from here twenty years ago and hasn't come up yet!

3. Why is the mouse in the cartoon Tom and Jerry more powerful than the cat?

A: This mouse must have eaten spinach. (Popeye's blood splashes three feet ...) Because this cartoon was written by a mouse. (The cat's blood splashes three feet ...)

4. Why do you say "the tiger's ass can't be touched"? Answer: because touching the tiger's ass, the tail will throw people's hands to the ground, which is very painful. Tiger's ass is too big. Touching the tiger's ass is uncivilized behavior. (The world has its own meaning ...)

5. The youngest son is crying. The father asked him what was wrong, and the son said, "Hungry." His father comforted him and said, "My son, just say what you want to eat. Even if you want dragon liver and chicken bone marrow, I can give it to you." The son said, "I don't want anything, just food." Father scolded: "You only have to eat what you don't have at home."

6. One day, a poor magician took a train. Because there was no seat, he said to a child, "My uncle will show you his magic. Will you make way for him? " The child said yes. The magician threw his suitcase out of the window and then changed it back. The child was very happy and gave up his position to him. The magician sat down and began to doze off.

After a while, the child felt bored and wanted to see the magic, so he picked up the magician's suitcase and threw it out of the window. Then he shook the magician and said, "Uncle, uncle, I want to see you change again."

7. One day, Xiaoming told the teacher that there were many ants on the wall. The teacher who also teaches English habitually asks, "What does the ant say?" Xiao Ming paused for a moment and said that the ant said nothing. '

Joke 2 (1) For the first time, a person sells popsicles in the market, but he is embarrassed to sell them. A man next to him was shouting: Popsicle seller, so he had to shout: Me too.

(2) Two housewives get together to chat. My husband managed to wash his socks by himself yesterday. Why did he suddenly become diligent? He forgot to take off his socks when he entered the bathtub.

(3) A black husband bought a set of pure black underwear from the supermarket and put it back excitedly. As soon as he entered the room, he happily shouted to China's wife: Haha! Honey, do you think this dress looks good on me? ! When the Chinese wife saw her mouth open wide, she said, Oh, my God! Honey, are you crazy? Where did you hide your clothes and pants in broad daylight?

(4) Do you remember the first military training in the Woods in junior high school? The coach said to the students: Count down in the first row! You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count." So, you reluctantly turned and hugged the tree.

(5) When the husband came home, his wife gently said to him: Dinner is ready as it was yesterday. The husband said excitedly, great! My wife is getting better and better! The food on the table was found to be yesterday's leftovers.

Wife: Mrs. Green across the street is too much. She opened all the curtains.

(7) Go to work early in the morning and put on your shoes. I found that the rhinestones on one vamp were obviously less, so I asked my family, where are the rhinestones on my vamp? My five-year-old son is picking rice to eat. Answer me to pick it for the female students in our class.

A thief came home and beat his son! When the wife saw it, she quickly stopped and said, Are you crazy? Why did you hit your son? The thief screamed angrily, this son of a bitch said he wanted to be a policeman when he grew up! Hearing this, the wife also slapped her son and scolded, "It's a fight!"! This is not good for you.

Do you like the birthday present I gave you? A thief like you. Why don't you accept it? Didn't I just tell you? Like thieves.

(10) A man was stealing cabbage when an army came to the field to practice. When he saw an army, he fell down, then the army began to fire, and then the army left. He stood up and said, what's the big deal? Damn it, fire.