What is the funniest chat record you have ever seen?

Sharing two very realistic and funny chat records:

1. Ask girls a very realistic question: If a boy has no house, no car and no savings, would you still be willing to accompany him? Fight together?

Most girls will answer: No.

This problem is very real. In a materialistic society, love has been tortured to the point of being completely exhausted. Many people are unwilling to give up because of love, but material things make love difficult.

A girl replied, I will not marry him. Poor and lowly couples have nothing to worry about. After marriage, they will only need money for firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. When their parents are sick, money is needed. In addition, money is needed to raise a child.

Only a small number of girls will weakly say: Yes. But the premise is that when he has a house and a car, he will not abandon himself. I think those girls who are willing to endure hardships with you must love you very much.

You think she is worried about you not having a house, but in fact, she is worried about having no future with you.

2. Your girlfriend and your mother fall into the water at the same time, who do you save first?

The discussion on this issue seems to have never ended, and there has never been an official correct answer.

Because it’s so hard to answer! When almost all men hear this question, their first reaction must be to save their mother. But this is an answer that cannot be spoken, because the girlfriend will definitely explode, and she has to find a suitable way of expression to make her accept it.

Here is a standard answer for you:

Filial piety comes first, and mother brought herself into this world. I must save my mother first. As for my wife, I love you deeply, so if I can't save you, I will sink with you, because without you, I can't live alone. Do you agree with this answer? Comments are welcome.

The funniest chat record I have ever seen. My father, who works in a supermarket, sent a WeChat message to his son who was busy at work. The chat record made me laugh until my stomach hurt.

Dad: An old man has trouble settling the bill in the supermarket. Please help him settle the bill.

Son: OK, who do you think you are?

Dad: Grandpa just can’t turn his head around and just stays put.

Son: Who do you think you are?

Dad: Grandpa has broken his fingers dozens of times.

Son: Tell me, who do you think you are?

Dad: Grandpa took off his shoes and used all his toes.

Son: Dad, I’m busy, who do you think you are?

Dad: You are busy, you can figure it out when you get home.

Son: You don’t matter now, so what does it matter if you go home?

Dad: I am the boss!

On April Fool's Day, his daughter confessed to him, knowing clearly that it was a lie, but he was being mean and believed it. Early in the morning, I held a rose in my mouth, rode a shabby motorcycle, ran downstairs to someone's house, yelled and said, "I'm here to pick you up, my wife. I also bought the flowers you asked for last night." As soon as he called his father out, he kept calling his father-in-law, and he was almost beaten to death. Fortunately, he was smart and avoided the physical pain. Unexpectedly, his father said: "I have no objection. As long as my daughter agrees, you can take her away. I know you are a good boy, and my daughter will not be in trouble with you. Although you are always glib, you have a good character. As long as she agrees, you can come to propose marriage tomorrow and pick a good day for you to get married. I’m not worried about her and you." I didn’t expect this. Fortunately, she didn’t agree, but her actions and reactions of refusal, After revealing that she liked me, she shyly ran back to her room.

I didn’t expect that the whole village would think that she and I had some ulterior secret. As soon as we meet, ask me when you two plan to get married. Tell me then and I will definitely drink your wedding wine. It's so bad that now, when I see an acquaintance, I run away without saying a word.

Actually, it’s not bad to miss her, but now... If I can’t do it, I have to work harder. I am willing to come to propose marriage next year and marry you. No matter how hard I suffer, I can’t suffer you. Wait for me, as long as I Year, I will marry you in one year, just wait for me!

1. Student Liao, come to my office tomorrow

2. A thief backed out a stolen truck and was captured alive by a rural man and handed over to the police.

The thief was puzzled and asked the uncle, how did you know the car was stolen?

The uncle replied: As soon as you got in the car, the car automatically alarmed.

The police asked: How did you report it?

The uncle replied: Please pay attention, car theft! Please pay attention, car theft!

The thief looked at the sky with tears in his eyes and said : Being uneducated is terrible!

3. Teach you how to distinguish goblins and monsters while watching TV!

4. When you hear and see the word "a little more" in the future, you should circle it and take the test.

Mom: "This time I took the math test. Although Xiaodai has been playing games, he still got 94 points. How many points did you get?"

Xiaoqiang: "I took the math test. He's a little bit more."

Mom: "95 points? I really can't tell."

Xiaoqiang: "No, it's 9.4 points."

5. . Go home and kneel on the floor

6. Today I called the mobile customer service. The customer service answered the phone and said: "I am glad to serve you."

I said: "Are you happy?" "It's too early"

And then......................

The funniest thing you've ever seen What are chat history?

Once upon a time, there was a rich man who was ignored by the local people because of his poor popularity! He stayed at home and was unhappy all day long. One day, he suddenly had a whim and wanted the local people to respect him, so he held a gold ingot in his hand and had money around his waist. He ran around the streets shouting and had people call him uncle! I traveled all day and no one answered. At this time, an old farmer came towards him. He was not asking the old man to call him uncle under the railing! The old man asked why? The rich man said: Because I am richer than you! The old man said that the money is yours and has nothing to do with me! The rich man then said, I can give you money, and the money is all yours! The old man remained silent after taking the money. The rich man was ashamed and angry and shouted loudly, "Why didn't you scream after you took my money?" The old man stretched his waist and said, you should call me uncle! Why? The old man said because I have money now! And you really don’t!

My mother’s chat history, my friends all said that my mother gave birth to me to make me laugh, my stomach hurts

If nothing else, I’m a friend, right? Fight me After finishing the game, I opened QQ. He said that he didn't care about anything at the time and just wanted to complain to me because he spoke uncleanly and 9 out of 10 sentences were dirty. He just finished scolding and was in a good mood. Okay, take a closer look, wow This is a parent group. At that time, the school leader happened to meet me in the inspection group. I had a fight with my friend. Me: I'm sorry. Friend: I should be sorry. Then we had another fight

The classic tea style is coming, don’t miss it,

Funny couples chatting, they are all talents.