Funny comments in Moments

Funny comments in Moments (selected 46 sentences) 1. Don’t fall in love with me, you’re hypocritical, let’s get married if you can. 2. I have a special skill, that is, every time I do a math problem, I can calculate it for half a day, and then avoid the correct answer very accurately. 3. During the Chinese test, I always felt that I was British; during the English test, I felt that I was Chinese; and during the math test, I realized that I was an alien! 4. A boy named Cupid shot me with an arrow. Fortunately, I had practiced. I dodged easily and hit him with a backhand, so that he never dared to come again. 5. When a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police, and the woman will try to persuade him; when a woman is fined for illegal parking, she will quarrel with the man next to her, and the police will try to persuade her. When I was 6.5 years old, my goal was Ferrari. When I was 20 years old, my goal was the Audi A6. When I was 25 years old, my goal was the Geely Panda. My current goal is to squeeze into the bus and have a seat to sit and listen to music. 7. Sometimes two people who chatted happily on the Internet stopped talking so much when they met, maybe because they couldn't send emoticons face to face. 8. The two people who trust each other the most are high school teachers and junior high school teachers. Junior high school teacher: "This knowledge point will be taught by high school teachers in high school." Junior high school teacher: "Your junior high school teacher should have already taught this knowledge point. " 9. The secret to telling fellow men that you don't have to wash the dishes is to deliberately break the dishes every time your wife asks you to wash the dishes. If your wife feels sorry for the things, she will not let you wash the dishes. This is me kneeling on the washboard. Summarized experience! 10. After 20 million people in Beijing breathed it for several days and nights, Beijing’s air quality finally improved. The new Beijing spirit was born from this: good virtue carries the fog, self-improvement does not suck, hard work leads to a new era of gray and yellow! Facts have proved once again: it is expensive to absorb fog! 11. You pretend to be cool every time after taking an exam, because while others are having a heated debate about whether the answer is A or B, you can’t figure out why you chose C. 12. I need a boyfriend now, and then he cheated on me, which made me miserable. I worked hard and made a lot of money. Finally, I became rich, handsome, and reached the pinnacle of my life. 13. I recently bought a box of facial mask powder online, which needs to be mixed with honey or yogurt. When the mask arrived, I went to the supermarket and bought a box of yogurt. When I opened the yogurt, my face felt less important. 14. I am 17 years old. I drive a Maserati, use an iPhone People try to imagine it. 15. Girl, don’t be stupid, the man who loves you most in the world has already married your mother. 16. What’s so great about being thin? I think back then, when I was the skinniest, I was only five and a half pounds! 17. You have a look that only your mother will like. If you don’t work hard, you will be finished! 18. When you enter society, you will find that you cannot fight for your parents, you can only fight for Duoduo. 19. Don’t worry, girl, sooner or later someone will hold up a ring and smile at you and say: One is three yuan, three is eight yuan. 20. Life is like a ruthless carving knife. It not only fails to shape you well, but also shaves off your hair bit by bit. 21. "Do you have a partner?" "I can't afford an elephant, let alone a pair." 22. Men who come home early tell stories to their wives; men who come home late make up stories for their wives listen. 23. The advantage of having a flat chest is that if you encounter a blind person at night, you can lift up your clothes and say to him: Hey, brother, we are one of our own! 24. In the eyes of parents, playing computer for one hour will make your eyes blind, but reading books for 24 hours will never make you blind. 25. I hope you remember to smile at all times, it will make you look like a psycho that cannot be messed with. 26. Behind a successful man there must be a great woman, and behind a successful boss there must be a group of unlucky employees. 27. Forget the sour smell of love, you only need to remember the fragrance of money. 28. I am a very principled person. My principle is, wherever the delicious food is, I will be there! 29. My boyfriend is tall, handsome, has a nice voice and is very kind to me. The only bad thing about him is that he likes to play hide and seek and he hasn’t shown up yet.

30. I feel that the brightest smile in my life is dedicated to mobile phones and computer screens. 31. Those girls who can’t unscrew bottle caps are actually just faking it. If you ask her to try opening a package, she won’t even need scissors. 32. I never know what "a little full", "half full" and "70% full" mean. I only know "I'm not exhausted yet, keep eating!" 33. There are two kinds of creatures in the world that can lie on the glass. One is a gecko, and the other is a class teacher. 34. Some people make you feel distressed if they are serious, and some people will give you toothache if they are not polite. 35. My head is full of wisdom, and it stretches my face. 36. Life is like angry birds. When you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing. 37. The most hurtful sentence for singles: When you get old, your selfies may become your family photos! 38. Whenever a boy says he has tidied up his room, the standard usually means: the path from the door to the bed has been cleared. 39. Today’s unit recruitment is really bad. Zhuge Liang had never led an army before he came out. Why should I need work experience? 40. I decided to go out for a walk. After all, it is a great loss to society that such a beautiful face is always hidden at home. 41. The first time I met a client, the client extended his hand to shake hands, and I got nervous and pulled out a pair of scissors. That scene was so embarrassing. 42. The wind is so strong outside today and I am so scared. If everyone else is blown away, I won’t be able to blow them away. That would be so embarrassing. 43. According to my many years of fish farming experience, you must be diligent when raising fish, either changing the water once a week or changing the fish once every two weeks. 44. If a boy’s mobile phone wallpaper is you and all social passwords are told to you, then you just take his money and go. 45. My ex-girlfriend is very introverted. How introverted is that? Even when she wanted to end her four-year relationship with me, she was embarrassed to tell me. She called her new boyfriend to tell me. 46. ??In a car accident, I flew seven meters without any injuries, all because I had a big schoolbag on my back. For the first time, I feel that reading is useful. Knowledge really changes your destiny!