Jokes about Water Margin (the longer the better)

The hero of Liangshan opens a blog

In order to increase its popularity, the famous website Mute Tiger of the Song Dynasty strongly invited the heroes of Liangshan to open a blog. Due to Li Kui's strong opposition, the matter was discussed several times, but it has never been possible. The vote passed unanimously. Under repeated urging and inducement from the website, the resourceful Wu Yong suggested that Xu Ning, who is the most proficient in the Internet, try to open a blog first. If successful, it will not be too late for other heroes to follow suit. Therefore, Xu Ning became the number one in Liangshan. A lazy person, he started "Xiao Xu's Blog". Unexpectedly, the effect was amazing, and the number of visits to his blog soon ranked first in the Song Dynasty.

Military advisor Wu Yong was overjoyed to see "Xiao Xu" succeed in his first game, so with Song Jiang's approval, he became the "second crab eater". A strategist is a strategist, and his skills are indeed extraordinary. He set up a fascination array in his blog, claiming that if anyone can crack the formation, he will be rewarded with 200,000 Liang Yuan (approximately 100,000 Song Yuan). At that time, there were many people who accepted the challenge, although there was no one. It can be solved, but the number of clicks on the blog has greatly increased.

Under Wu Yong’s call, the Liangshan blog soon started in full swing. Lu Zhishen attracted the attention of many visitors with his "Flower Monk" sign; the red-haired ghost Liu Tang also won the favor of many horror novel lovers because of the terrifying atmosphere in his blog; and the only three women in Liangshan, Gu Dasao and Sun Erniang , Hu Sanniang's blog has also become extremely popular since its launch, and is expected to surpass "Xiao Xu's blog".

At this time, something went wrong. The magic fortune teller Jiang Jing tells people fortunes on his blog; Shi Qian teaches stealing skills on a drum; Dong Ping, the two-gun general, is even more lawless and openly sells guns online because of his many guns; while Zhang Qing simply uses the Internet to teach how to steal. Using "featherless arrows" to kill people a hundred steps away had a very bad impact. The blogs of these black sheep were quickly shut down by the court. The reason was that "the Song Dynasty is a peaceful world with a bright and clear world. Flowers and grass can be used, and so can I. But it is absolutely not allowed to do things like roosters, dogs, thieves, killing people and stealing goods.”

Wu Yong quickly took remedial measures. He decided to ask Zhang Qing, a vegetable gardener, to teach pollution-free vegetable planting techniques on his blog; he asked Yuchi Sunli, a chronically ill doctor, to teach him how to strengthen his body; he asked the nine-tailed turtle to Tao Zongwang, Bai Sheng, a day rat, and Duan Jingzhu, a golden retriever, respectively taught the knowledge of raising pet turtles, pet mice, and pet dogs; they even asked Zhu Ding, a man with a beautiful beard, to talk about his experience in maintaining beards; and let Mu Hong share his experience and lessons. He will tell you from his own experience and teach you "how to overcome the problem of speaking without restraint". . . . . .

The Walker Wusong blog was late, but he came from behind. The blog "Walking on the End of the World" attracted a large number of travel friends as soon as it was launched. Unfortunately, the good times did not last long. "How I Defeat Liu Xiang" by Dai Zong, the Taibao of Shenxing As soon as the blog was launched, Wu Song's blog traffic suddenly dropped sharply. After receiving advice from an expert, Wu Song took a different approach and renamed his blog "How I Got Rid of Pan Jinlian's Temptation", which became popular again.

After the prodigal Yan Qing’s inspirational blog “The Prodigal Returns for Money” was changed to the confessional blog “My Unbearable Life as a Prodigal” in response to repeated requests from netizens, the click-through rate soared; The scene where he flirted with Li Shishi, a famous prostitute in the capital, became a hot topic on major websites. It is said that it was later made into a movie by Hao Lainiao, and won the Aosi Ka Award that year.

In addition, I also want to reveal an inside information: Zhang Shun, a white stripe in the waves, originally had a blog called "The First Warrior in Liangshan Teaches You to Learn to Swim." The heroes were extremely displeased when they read it. Little Zhang Shun, He's just a fisherman, how dare he be called the best warrior in Liangshan? Although Zhang Shun repeatedly argued that "Warrior" was just a homophone for "Yongshi" and that he had no ambition to be the best warrior in Liangshan, he was forced to change "Warrior" to "Yongshi" due to pressure. ".

At this point, except for the leader Song Jiang in Liangshan, who declared that he would never start gambling in order to maintain his mystery, there is only one hero who has not yet started gambling, and this person is Black Whirlwind Li Kui. When Song Jiang wanted to recruit An, the person who opposed the most fiercely was Li Kui. Later it was proved that Li Kui’s opposition was right, so Li Kui was the first to come out to oppose this blog. It was his opposition that the "Liangshan Blog Circle" has not been able to do until today. It opened a full month later than the "Taiwei Blog Circle" represented by Gao Qiu in Beijing.

Now almost all the heroes have opened bets, and facts have proven that this decision is correct. However, Li Kui is still shouting "open bets, open bets, open bets" all day long, which makes everyone very upset. It's upset. Wu Yong was afraid that Li Kui would cause public anger and destroy Liangshan's hard-won stability and unity, so he persuaded Song Jiang and asked him to persuade Li Kui to start gambling as soon as possible. Li Kui didn't listen to anyone but his brother Gongming.

Sure enough, as soon as Song Jiang took action, Li Kui's blog was quickly opened.

Because Li Kui was the last of the Liangshan heroes to open a blog, the outside world had been waiting for it for a long time, so as soon as the blog was opened, it immediately caused network congestion. However, after netizens read the article "How I Used a Three-Blade Ax to Help Brother Gongming Liangshan" which he wrote with great difficulty, they all pointed out that Li Kui was illiterate and it was impossible to write such a masterpiece, so everyone doubted Someone ghost-wrote it, and he insisted that the ghost-writer was none other than Li Gui.

After Li Kui read the post, he immediately became furious. He raised the computer in front of him and threw it to the ground. Then he picked up an ax and smashed the computers in the Liangshan Internet Cafe to pieces without caring about anything. Under repeated pressure from all the heroes, Song Jiang had to temporarily detain Li Kui, and then ordered Dai Zong to rush to the capital and purchase a batch of the most advanced "unbreakable" computers in the Song Dynasty at that time for all the heroes to fight to the end!