Zhu Ziqing's Prose

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Someone's back

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I haven't seen my father for over two years. What I can't forget most is his back. That winter, my grandmother died, my father.

I also handed in my errand. This is a day when it never rains but it pours. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, and I plan to go home with my father. Go to Xuzhou

I couldn't help crying when I saw my father and the messy things in the yard and thought of my grandmother. Father said, "That's it.

Well, don't be sad, but God never shuts one door but he opens another! "

Going home to sell pawns, my father lost money; Borrowing money for the funeral again. The situation at home these days is very bleak, half.

Half of the money for the funeral goes to my father. After the funeral, my father will go to Nanjing to work, and I will go back to Beijing to study, so we will

Peer.

In Nanjing, a friend made an appointment to go sightseeing and stayed for one day. I will cross the river to Pukou the next morning and get on the bus in the afternoon.

Let's go Because my father is busy, he has decided not to send it, and found a familiar waiter in the hotel to accompany him. He repeatedly asked for tea.

Room, be very careful. But he finally worried that the waiter was not suitable; I hesitated for a moment. In fact, I was twenty years old that year, North

Beijing has gone back and forth two or three times, it doesn't matter. He hesitated for a while and finally decided to take me personally. I am bright

Advised him not to go three times; He just said, "Never mind, they can't walk well!"

We crossed the river and entered the station. I bought a ticket and he was busy looking after the luggage. There is too much luggage, so we have to tip the porter.

To get through. He is busy bargaining with them again. I was really smart at that time, and I always felt that his speech was not beautiful, not myself.

You can't interrupt but he finally settled the price; Walk me to the car. He chose a chair near the door for me; I gave it to him.

The purple coat I made is spread on the seat. He told me to be careful on the road, to be alert at night and not to catch a cold. And let the waiter take good care of it.

Me. I laughed at his pedantry in my mind; They only know money, and believe that they have nothing! And an old man like me, isn't it?

Can't you take care of yourself? Well, now that I think about it, it was really clever at that time!

I said, "Dad, you go." He looked out of the car and said, "I'll buy some oranges." There you are,

Don't move. "I saw several vendors waiting for customers outside the fence on the platform over there. To get to the platform over there, you must cross the iron fence.

Tao, you must jump down and climb up. Father is a fat man, so it is naturally more troublesome to walk there. I want to go, but he won't,

We have to let him go. I saw him hobbling towards the railway in a small black hat, a big black jacket and a dark blue cotton gown.

It's not difficult to lean down slowly. But it is not easy for him to climb the platform over there when he crosses the railway. He climbed with both hands.

Above, feet up; His fat body leans slightly to the left, showing signs of hard work. Then I saw his back, and I

Tears are coming down. I quickly wiped away my tears, fearing that he would see it and others would see it. When I looked out again, he had hugged me.

Scarlet orange turned around and left. When crossing the railway, he first scattered oranges on the ground, climbed down slowly and picked them up again.

Let's go When I arrived here, I hurried to help him. He and I walked to the front of the car and put oranges on my fur coat. therefore

I dived into the dirt on my clothes and felt very relaxed. After a while, I said, "I'm leaving; Write it over there! " I watched him go out.

Let's go He took a few steps, turned around and saw me and said, "Go in, there's no one inside." Waiting for his back to come and go.

I can't find it anymore. Come in and sit down. Tears come again.

In recent years, my father and I have been running around, and the situation at home is getting worse and worse. He went out to make a living alone when he was a teenager.

Support, did a lot of great things. That knowing the old world is so depressing! He was so sad that he couldn't control himself. I feel depressed in the middle because

However, it must be sent out; Family trifles often touch his anger. He treats me differently. But in the past two years, he finally

Forget my bad, just think about me and my son. After I came to the north, he wrote me a letter, which said

"I'm in good health, but my arm hurts. It is inconvenient to lift chopsticks and pens. Not far away. " I read.

Here, in the crystal tears, I saw a chubby back, a blue cotton gown and a black jacket. Alas! I don't know when.

See him again!

Beijing 1925 10.

(Originally published in 1925, 165438+ Literature Weekly122 October, No.200)

Lotus pond moonlight

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I'm very upset these days. Sitting in the yard to enjoy the cool tonight, I suddenly remembered the lotus pond that I pass by every day, on this full moon.

There must be something else in the light. The moon rises gradually, and the children's laughter on the road outside the wall can no longer be heard.

Yes; My wife is patting and skipping in the room, humming a sleeping song in a daze. I slipped on a big shirt and ran out the door.

Along the lotus pond, there is a winding little cinder road. This is a secluded road; Few people walk during the day, so it is quieter at night.

Loneliness. Around the lotus pond, there are many trees and lush. On one side of the road, there are some willows and some trees with unknown names.

On a moonless night, the road is gloomy and a little scary. It's fine tonight, although the moonlight is still very weak.

I was the only one on the road, walking around with my hands behind my back. This world seems to be mine; I also like to go beyond my usual self and go.

In another world. I love excitement and peace; Like to live in groups, like to be alone. Just like tonight, alone in this boundless moon.

Next, you can think about everything and nothing, so you feel like a free man. Say what you must do during the day.

You can ignore it now. This is the beauty of being alone, and I will enjoy the boundless moonlight with lotus fragrance.

On the winding lotus pond, I look forward to the leaves of Tian Tian. The leaves are high out of the water, like an elegant dancer's skirt. tier upon tier

Among the leaves, some white flowers are scattered, some bloom gracefully and some bloom shyly; Like a grain

Pearl, like a star in the blue sky, like a beauty who just took a bath. The breeze blew, sending wisps of fragrance, like a tall building in the distance.

Like a faint song. At this time, the leaves and flowers also trembled slightly, like lightning, passing through the lotus pond in an instant.

The leaves are close side by side, so there are clear wave marks. Below the leaves is flowing water, which covers the leaves.

I can't see some colors; Leaves are more exposed to the wind.

Moonlight, like running water, falls quietly on this leaf and flower. A thin layer of blue mist floats in the lotus pond. Leaves and flowers

As if washed in milk; Like a dream in a sarong. Although it is a full moon, there are faint clouds in the sky, so there are no.

Can emit light; But I think this is just a benefit-deep sleep is indispensable, and nap is unique. Moonlight shines through the trees.

Come here, the bushes in the high places drop jagged and mottled shadows, as if they were ghosts; Bent willow sparse

The image is beautiful, but it seems to be painted on a lotus leaf. The moonlight in the pond is uneven; But light and shadow have a harmonious melody, such as in the Vatican.

Play a famous song.

Around the lotus pond, there are trees far and near, and willows are the most. These trees surround a lotus pond;

Only on one side of the path, there are some gaps, which seem to be reserved for moonlight. An example of the color of trees is cloudy, which at first glance looks like a cloud of smoke.

Fog; But the abundance of willows can be recognized in the smoke. There are distant mountains at the top of the tree, just a little carelessness.

Yes There are still one or two lamps leaking through the cracks in the tree. What is listless is the eyes of those who are sleepy. At this time, the most lively is the tree.

Cicada and frog in the water; But the excitement is theirs. I have nothing.

I suddenly remembered the matter of picking lotus. Lotus picking is an ancient custom in the south of the Yangtze River. It seems to have a long history, but it flourished in the Six Dynasties. From poetry

You can have a look at it in the library. Lotus pickers are teenage girls, swinging boats and singing bright songs. Needless to say, lotus pickers are very

There are many people watching the lotus picking. It was a lively season and a romantic season. Liang Yuan-di's "Lotus Picking Fu" said

Well done:

So the demon is a virgin, and she wants to boat; The snipe makes a first promise and passes the feather cup; I can move, algae can hang, boats can move and sail. Erqi

Slim waist, slow down; After long summer, in late spring, leaves are tender and flowers are early. I'm afraid of touching the petticoats and laughing, and I'm afraid of leaning over the boat and getting together.

It can be seen that there were wandering scenes at that time. This is really interesting, but unfortunately we are not happy now.

Then I remembered the words in Song of Xizhou:

Lotus is picked in autumn in Nantang, and the lotus is over the head; With his head down, he fiddled with the lotus seeds in the water, which were as green as the lake. If there are lotus pickers tonight, there will be lotus flowers here.

It is considered to be "over the top"; You can't just see some shadows of running water. This makes me really miss Jiangnan. -Like this

Thinking about thinking, I suddenly looked up and felt that it was my door; Gently pushed the door in, there was no sound, and my wife had slept for a long time.

Yes

July 1927, Beijing Tsinghua Campus.

(Original 1927 July 10 Novel Monthly Report, Volume 18, No.7)

Yangzhou (1)

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(1) Editor's note: The author said in the article "I am from Yangzhou": "... I once wrote a short article pointing out that Yangzhou.

Everyone has these problems. Later, this article will be included in the prose collection "You and Me", but the Commercial Press will not, for fear of another "scandal".

National case. "Now, according to the author's wishes, this article will still be included in You and Me.

I saw Cao Juren's Yangzhou Gossip in the tenth issue, which is much more interesting than that famous book. But that book will

Yangzhou speaks too badly, and Mr. Cao speaks too well; Not so good. He hasn't been there. What he said is just from

Historical imprint in poetry and fu. These naturally belong to Yangzhou, but they have passed, and now Yangzhou is dying.

Give us that dream again.

I went to Yangzhou at the age of seven and lived there for thirteen years before I came out to study. My family is a Hakka, and my father runs errands in other provinces.

I have a lot of time, so I have no contact with local sages and elders. Their elegant things, such as visiting winners, reciting poems, gambling on wine, famous paintings and famous chefs.

Taste adjustment, I didn't have it at that time, and I was not good at it at all. Therefore, although I have lived for so many years, it is a pity that I can't do Yangzhou Pass.

Yes I only remember that my father was ill during the recovery, and a senior rogue knocked on a bamboo with the name of the military government written on it.

Bar; Also, in the middle school years, I saw the so-called "throwing the ball" rampant. "Shuaizi" is a Yangzhou dialect, and sometimes

Refers to those who are "timid" and sometimes refers to those who don't care. Needless to say, "throwing a group" is the latter category; Most of them are

The children of gentry and officials, relying on the influence of families or "gangs", fought in various public places, such as not buying theater tickets and booing.

Wait, there are also full-word lawsuits, flirting with women. What's more strange is that the squire's servant can command the police chief, and he can be a big model.

Paraded in the city with great fanfare-this was all in 1956, not in the era of absolute monarchy before the Qing Dynasty. I am warm-blooded. Look at that.

Full of anger; But people talk lightly, so we must make that tone converge.

Yangzhou used to be a big place, as Mr. Cao said in that article; Now the salt affairs are dying, and they are almost "settled"

Small town.

But most people will still get carried away, want style, think they are beautiful, and hardly know how vast the sky is. This is really the so-called "night"

Lang is arrogant. "Yangzhou people have the name of' Yang'; This "virtual child" has two meanings, one is to make a fuss, and the other is.

To do more with less money, in short, it is inseparable from the problem of bluffing. They also have a name "Pan Yang", such as expensive things.

Well, people can laugh at you as a "young dish"; Another example is that the price of the store is too expensive. You can ask him, "treat me like a young plate."

What? "The food is held out for others to see, just to describe Yangzhou people playing the air. There are so-called "business schools" that laugh at those imitations.

People who live a luxurious life as salt merchants are even more magnificent. But this is just the general situation, hardworking and sincere gentleman.

Naturally have children; Among my dear friends, there are many Yangzhou people.

When the name Yangzhou is mentioned, many people will think of the place where women were born. But I've never been seen in the street in my life.

I met an excellent woman. Maybe women didn't go to the streets much then. But in the past, the so-called "being a woman" really meant my aunt.

Too much for prostitutes; The word "Chu" is the same as that of wool and apple. There is "Yang" in Tao An Meng Yi.

State fine horse "section, to remember such a thing; But I know nothing about it. However, the trend of concubinage and prostitutes is gradually declining, "a woman. "

People "even that sentence will lose its meaning sooner or later.

Many other people think Yangzhou is a good place to eat. You are right. When Beiping usually mentions Jiangsu cuisine, he always thinks of it.

Sweet and greasy. Now that I have Huaiyang cuisine, I know that Su cuisine is not sweet. But I thought it was heavy oil and Shandong cuisine.

Light and different. In fact, the real oil is Zhenjiang cuisine, and serving it often teaches you to be bored and helpless. If Yangzhou cuisine is cooked by salt merchants,

Although the chef is not as light as Shandong cuisine, he is moist and neat, and his mouth is not greasy and his tongue is not greasy. Not only is it delicious, but the color is also very good.

It's also beautiful and pleasing to the eye. Yangzhou's noodle restaurant is also very famous. Fortunately, the soup is delicious, that is, the so-called white soup, chicken, duck, fish and everything.

The meat is cooked, but it is as thick as a bear's paw. There is also clear soup, which is chicken soup, which is not surprising. expert

Eat noodles to "cook"; Usually, you will pick noodles in a bowl and pour soup on it. "Big cooking" means cooking noodles in soup for a while, which will make them more delicious.

Yangzhou is the most famous teahouse; Both morning and afternoon are full. Eat the most patterns. Sit down and make tea, and there will be

Selling odds and ends, carrying a sickly wicker basket on his arm, containing some small bags of melon seeds and peanuts.

Fried salted beans or something. There are also people who fry ginkgo, and the ginkgo on the iron pot explodes, and the sound of a shovel. You must tell him before you give it to him.

You're finished. The shell of the cooking dish exploded, revealing Huang Liangren, and shoveled it in the wire cover, which was hot and delicious. Sell spiced beef.

Yes, let him catch some and spread them on the dried lotus leaves; Ask the waiter to bring some good soy sauce, mix it and eat it slowly, or sell it in bits and pieces.

Buy some white wine-Yangzhou usually drinks white wine-and drink it. It's called an ironing attendant. Beiping now eats dried silk, which is all so-called

Boil dried silk; That's strong. It's a good dish, but it's not necessarily suitable for snacks. First, quickly dry a large square piece of white tofu.

Cut into thin slices, then cut into filaments, put them in a small bowl and pour them with boiling water, and the dried filaments will be cooked; Forced to go into the water, like a cone

Yes, drizzle with sesame sauce and put a pinch of shrimp and shredded bamboo shoots on it. At that moment, I just watched the tofu cut.

Fuck, it'll be there in a blink of an eye. Perm dry silk is very clean and won't prevent you from eating anything else. Then it's time for dessert. Peiping Huaiyang

The dumplings sold in restaurants are sincere and delicious, but they are rare in Yangzhou. That's really the name of Huaiyin. Yangzhou shouldn't prey on beauty. Yangzhou

Steamed snacks in steamed buns, stuffed with meat, stuffed with crab meat and stuffed with bamboo shoots, needless to say, the best are steamed buns and vegetables, as well as

Choose the most tender dish for dried vegetable buns, chop it into mud, add a little sugar and a little oil, and steam it into your mouth.

Easily melt away, leaving a trace of aftertaste. Chop the dried vegetables, add a little sugar and oil, and do it just right. Very thin

Chew slowly, and you can chew a little olive aftertaste. So you can't eat too much. Cook if you have a meal.

You can take your time. But only an experienced tea drinker would be so cautious; Occasionally, the local people in the teahouse last time were outsiders, but

I couldn't help wolfing down my food. When I got there, I came out holding my stomach.

Yangzhou tour is mainly about water, mainly boats, which has been recorded in another article and is omitted here. There are many historical sites outside the city, such as "Wen"

Few people pay attention to the choice of architecture, such as Tianbao City, Tang Lei and Twenty-four Bridges. People often go to Shi Kefa.

Meihualing. If you have a considerable holiday, it is also interesting to invite two or three people to visit ancient times; Naturally, you should bring some.

Peanut, spiced beef, white wine.

Written in June 1934+ 10/0/4.

(Originally published in Human World 10/934 and 165438+ 16 on October 20th).

To the dead woman.

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Money, how time flies! In the blink of an eye, you have been dead for three years. I don't know how many times things have changed in these three years, but you

I may not have noticed this, I know. You think of your children first, then me. My child and I will share you equally.

The world, you are like this in Japan; If you know it after you die, you probably will. I tell you, I go home in summer: Michael looks good.

Very strong, a head taller than me. Runzi's father says he is the cutest, but he is not as fat as before. Wisdom and rotor are both good. Wuer

The whole family praised her for her good looks; But I have wet sores on my legs, so I can't get up and down on the bamboo bed all day. It's pathetic to see it. Six children,

what can I say? You know, you talked to your mother when you were dying. This child can only be raised and played, from left to right.

In the spring of 2008, I didn't get through it. A few months after the baby was born, your lung disease worsened. I advise you to stay away from him, but ...

Just supervising the care of the old lady. There is nothing you can do. There is nothing you can do. But the one you helped him with when you were sick.

It is worth seeing. The summer he was ill, you were busy all day, soup, medicine, cold, warm, and even.

I didn't sleep well. Think about yourself for a minute. You will be happy to see him tough with a dry smile.

On my yellow face, I can only sigh secretly.

I never thought a mother would be like you. You've been breast-feeding yourself four times since Michael. You got up.

I didn't know to feed by the hour at first, but later I knew, but I couldn't get used to it; Children wake you up several times every night, which is very annoying.

Hot summer. I don't think you have slept enough. I have to cook and take care of my children during the day, so I have little time. Your body was originally

No, four children will tire you for seven or eight years. By the fifth, I really couldn't do it myself, and there was no milk, so I had to feed myself milk powder.

Hire another fat mother to take care of her. But if the child sleeps with the old lady, you won't let go; When I hear crying at night, I listen.

You should go to see it as soon as you have time. /kloc-at the beginning of 0/6, I came to Beijing with you and left Maier and Rotor at home. Can't go for more than three years.

Pick them up, it's really hard for you to remember. You don't talk about it often, but I understand. You later said that your illness was remembered; that

Naturally, there is one, but most of them are still tired of raising children. Your short twelve-year marriage took eleven years.

For children; And you are not tired at all, try your best until you are eliminated. You usually treat children.

Be immersed in love, regardless of the size of men and women. I don't think of "raising children for old age and saving up for hunger", I just love them as much as I can.

To be honest, you are a little amateur in education. Children just need to eat well. No wonder you are yourself.

Just like growing up. Besides, children are still young, and eating and playing are also very important. When you are seriously ill, the last thing you want to let go of is your child.

Son. Sick only skin and bones, always do not believe that they will not get better; The old man said, "when I die, this large group of children can suffer."

Yes "Later said to send you home, you think you can see Michael and rotor, also willing to; You don't want to leave the meeting.

When I handed in the car, you couldn't help crying and saying, "I wonder if I can see you again?" Unfortunately, I know your heart, and you missed it.

Try to come back to see me with six children. Money, you must have thought so, you must have.

Except for the children, you only have me in your heart. Yes, your father is still there; But your mother died and he had another woman,

You've been feeling isolated for a long time. In the first year of marriage, although you were still attached to his old man's house wholeheartedly, you fucked me in the second year.

And the child can occupy your heart, and you don't have much time to think about him. Do you remember the first year when I was in Beijing and you were at home?

Inch's family wrote that he couldn't live and often went back to his parents' house. I am very angry. I'll write to blame you at once. You had someone write back.

The letter said that there was something at home and I had to go back. This is your first and last protest, and I haven't written to you since.

Letter. I went back with many ideas during the summer vacation, but when I met you and saw your smile, I was pulled down. Since then, you have gradually

Run from your father's arms to me. You changed the gold bracelet to help me pay my tuition and told me to pay you back later; But until you die,

I didn't pay you back. You suffered a lot in my family, and you endured it because of my family. This is all for.

It's me. I know that I resigned from a middle school in my hometown and ran away. Your family laughed at you for leaving. Where to! Must be stiff.

Scalp to your house. At that time, your home was like icehouse, and you lived in the cellar for three months. It's easy for me to take you out

Come on, save it together. This is how small families are organized. Although you are not a rich girl, you have been spoiled since childhood.

Yes, as a housewife, you have to do one or two things; I can't believe you did it, and you washed the dishes happily as usual.

You did it all, but we ate it all; You can put two or three pairs of chopsticks at most. Your food is not bad, there is an old one.

Well, I gave you a big compliment. You are good at washing clothes, too. In summer, you may always make my own silk coat. You are always unhappy at home.

Idle; Sitting for a few months ago, I always got up in four or five days and said that I was lying at home doing nothing. Actually, you're up.

Not chaotic; There are so many children in our family, where can we organize them? When I lived in Zhejiang, I escaped two military difficulties.

In Beiping. It's a pity that you lead your mother and a group of children to hide from each other; How many miles do you have to walk over a big ridge at the end? this

Twice, almost by myself. Not only did you bring your mother and children, but you also brought me boxes of books. You know I'm the most

Love books. In just twelve years, you care more than others all your life; Modesty, how can you stand up like that? you

I took all the responsibility and crushed you; How can I live up to you!

You also spent a lot of time on my fishing book; Let your father's footman be brought to Shanghai from his hometown for the first time. He said.

After a few words of gossip, you cried in front of your father. The second time I ran away with you, people said you were a fool. You have your own ideas.

Colonel: "How can I teach without books? Moreover, he loves this thing. " In fact, you don't know that it is unnecessary to lose those books.

Cherish; But how do you know? I have never talked to you about this! In short, your heart is grateful. this

In the past twelve years, you have suffered a lot for me, but you have not lived a good life for a few days. We live together, less than five.

A few years. No matter how bad the life is, whether it is separation or reunion, you have never lost your temper with me, or even complained. ——

Don't blame me, even if you don't blame your life. To tell the truth, I have a bad temper, and I have a lot to take out to vent my anger. At those times,

You often sob and cry, never answer back or howl. But I can only trust you. There are some things I can only tell you.

One person said, because you are the only person in the world who really cares about me and really sympathizes with me. You not only suffer for me, but also share my pain; I

Most of my current spirit is cultivated by you. I seldom get sick these years. But I am the most impatient and sick.

When you are sick, you moan endlessly and disturb the people who serve the patients. You have learned it once. Although it's only one or two o'clock, it's enough trouble.

Yes You are often sick, but you always don't talk and struggle to get up; One is afraid of disturbing me, and the other is afraid that no one will do your share. I have one.

It is also true that you have a bad temper and are afraid of hearing that people are ill. Later, you had a fever every day and thought that malaria brought by the south had been kept secret.

Look at me. Obviously lying down, hearing my footsteps, I sat up skid. I'm a little surprised. Let the doctor have a look. It's not good.

Well, one of your lungs has rotted a big hole! The doctor advised you to go to the western hills to have a rest, but you can't leave the children behind. You can't bear to part with them.

Money; I advise you to lie at home, but you can't leave the housework behind. The more you look at it, the worse it gets. I'll take you back. Knowing that it is ill-fated.

Xiaoxiao, I didn't expect you to be finished in a month! I hope to see you again, but I can't now. So you think.

This? Father told me that when you go home to live in a small house alone, you feel that there is no living room, and you are afraid that it will be inconvenient for me to go back.

I went home to your grave last summer. You sleep under your grandparents, so you are not alone. It's just my grandfather

Mother's grave is too small. You sleep under it. This is called "resistance" and you are not at ease with strangers; Equal thinking method

Where is it? At that time, the floor was covered with grass and the morning dew soaked my cloth shoes. You've just been buried for more than half a year, and that's all that's left.

A piece of soil, others simply can't see the new grave. Yin and I will go back this summer and want to come to your grave. Because she's sick?

Let's go We want to tell you that all five children are fine, and we will try our best to educate them so that they can live up to their dead mothers-

You! En Qian, have a good rest and sleep, you.

1932,65438+10 month, 1 1.

(Original load 1 93365438+1October1,Oriental Magazine, Vol.30, No.65438 +0)