Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A mushroom grew on the mop in the dormitory. In which city?

A mushroom grew on the mop in the dormitory. In which city?

Beijing.

The first chapter dormitory toilet

"Cha, Cha ....." In the narrow space, I recalled the sound of lighter striking, but I couldn't see anything, only sparks kept flashing in the dark air. Suddenly, the light bulb came on.

"Hoo!" In the dim light of the toilet, a huge boy, Zhen, crouched with bare arms, a cigarette in his mouth and looked at the light bulb. Keep lighting the cigarette, but it still won't light. Really Xi felt something strange happened behind him. He turned to look. An incredible thing happened. There is a mushroom growing on the mop in the corner of the toilet, which grows bigger and bigger bit by bit, and stops when it grows to about 15 cm. Zhen Xi didn't know what was going on, so he turned and continued to light a cigarette. Suddenly, it was dark.

"Shit, it stopped again." "Cha, Cha ..." The voice continued, and there was a fire with a bang. The cigarette in Zhen's mouth was lit, and a little bit of smoke was spit out from cigarette butts and Zhen's mouth, and slowly floated up into the air (the smoke returned to the subtitles and then disappeared) and disappeared.

Chapter two canteen

(The transition is completed by smoke. 1 End, the smoke remains unchanged and continues to float upwards. The last wisp of smoke is the smoke from scene 2, so it is superimposed. )

Filled with smoke, Zhen Xi sat in a seat in the canteen and smoked. Sitting opposite him is a beautiful woman with long hair.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" Zhen Xi said helplessly to the girl. The other party didn't respond, but there was a burst of "whoosh ..." The girl sucked her face.

"Just once, okay?" I'm a little worried.

"Just eating, nothing" is very helpless.

"Will you stay with me for a while?" Be cute.

Cherish zhen really angry, staring at the girl, get each other's answer only "sou ..." The voice of eating noodles.

Stop eating is really urgent.

"I said not to eat" is urgent. ...

Zhen put a mouthful of phlegm in his mouth and "wow-spit" into the girl's noodle bowl.

The girl stood up at this time, and Zhen was covered by the girl's tall figure bit by bit. Zhen knows that she has gone too far this time.

Really Xi looked at the girl's tall body and the bowl in her hand in fear.

"Pa ..." The noodles and noodle soup in the girl's bowl have all been buckled in Zhen's face.

The girl turned to leave, leaving Zhen Xi sitting there helplessly.

With greasy face and noodles, I watched the girls leave step by step.

"My name is Zhen, and I am an ordinary college student. Like you, I also want to leave a beautiful and romantic love memory during my college years, but the reality is so helpless. "

Chapter III Walking (using trees in front of the canteen, employing people in the stairs of the art building, using the building in front of the basketball court in transition, and having a dialogue in front of the Bishop's building)

Zhen walked out of the canteen and across the school road. He met men and women in love, some were sweet, some broke up, some flirted, and all kinds of couples appeared one by one. (Every time she crosses the obstacle, Jane Xi has to change clothes, and couples are also changing clothes and learning Prada. ) Zhen Xi looked at the world around him and felt a little confused. He doesn't envy them, but he feels a little lost. The last couple passed by, passing by Zhen. Zhen has finished painting, and the couple are still painting. The couple stopped.

"Ah, Zhen Xi" the male voice shouted.

Zhen returned to the show, "Oh, Xiao Liang, I didn't see it."

"Hello, really," said Liang Xiao's girlfriend.

"Hello, Xiaomei." Look at Xiaomei.

"Why are you going?" Liang Xiao asked.

"I'm going back to the dormitory," Zhen Xi replied.

"Oh, by the way, Zhen Xi ..." Xiao Mei and I started talking to Zhen constantly (the camera started to slow down and talked with his girlfriend all the time, adding music, only voice-over). "Monologue: This is my buddy in my dormitory, and the girl next to him is his girlfriend. When they started their freshman year, Xiaomei had already had two abortions. The boys in our dormitory are all envious of Liang Xiao.

"Hey, what do you think? Talk to you? " Liang Xiao held out his hand and waved back and forth in front of Zhen Xi.

One hand blocked Zhen's sight, and Xiaomei's chest was covered. Zhen Xi suddenly came to her senses.

"Ah, what's the matter?" Zhen Xi said

"You are so stupid. Xiaomei said to introduce you to a girlfriend." Liang Xiao replied.

"Are you okay? I want to introduce you to a beautiful little girl with a smile.

"Are you? Ok, Xiaomei, you are so considerate. " Zhen Xi is a little embarrassed.

Liang Xiao leaned close to Zhen's ear and said, "Hurry up and break the place, haha ..."

"Ha ha ....." Zhen precious little article also laughed.

"At the water park at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, you will see that she is holding a rose in her hand. Remember to take one." Xiaomei said to Zhen.

"It's so much trouble, aren't you going?" Zhen Xi asked

"I won't go," Xiaomei replied.

"We are going out tomorrow, so I won't go back to the dormitory tonight. Answer it for me, "said Liang Xiao. "Be good tomorrow."

"Well, no problem, don't worry."

"That's it, Xiaomei and I will go first. Bye." Liang Xiao said to cherish it.

"Well, well, goodbye, Xiaomei," said Zhen Xi.

"Ok, goodbye," said Xiaomei, and Liang Xiao and Xiaomei turned and left.

Zhen Xi looked at their distant background and suddenly shouted, "Xiaomei, what time is tomorrow?"

"Don't be late at nine o'clock, and there are roses."

"Well, I see." Zhen Xi looked down at his watch.

Chapter IV Parks

The clock on the watch is exactly nine o'clock. A beautiful girl looked up and looked around. She has a bright rose in her hand. The girl was slapped on the shoulder with a hand. When the girl turned around, she saw a bright red rose and Zhen's smiling face. Zhen Xi is a little nervous. She held out her hand and summoned up her courage to say, "Hello, my name is Zhen Xi."

"Hello, my name is Jia Yuan," he held out his hand and shook my hand.

Two people were sitting on the bench, and neither of them spoke, which was a bit embarrassing. At this time, girls are a little reserved, and boys must speak first, but Zhen is a little nervous at this time. He prepared many jokes and topics last night, but now he can't remember any of them. Narrator: Think about a topic quickly. Didn't you learn many jokes yesterday? Think, think ... got it! !

"You, are you still a virgin?"

Both Zhen and Jia Yuan were taken aback at the same time.

"Embarrassed, absolutely embarrassed. I don't know how that sentence came out. At this time, it feels like being in the toilet of the dormitory ... being discovered by the roommate. "

Chapter V Dormitory

(The foreground is the mushroom on the mop, and the background is that Zhen Zhen was in the toilet at the climax, and suddenly the door buckle collapsed and the toilet door was pushed open by her roommate. True Xi looked at his roommate, and his roommate looked at him and his ass. Suddenly, he smiled. Zhen Xi quickly put on his pants, closed the door and scolded, "a bunch of fucking grandchildren." True Xi opened the door and came out. "I am an egg."

"Seriously," a group of people followed him into the dormitory. One buddy in the dormitory is playing World of Warcraft and the other is playing DOTA. As soon as he entered the dormitory, there came the voice of "tribal killing"

"Hey, didn't you talk to her ... huh?"

Cherish not talking.

"Hello, you two?"

Chapter VI Parks

"No," Jia Yuan answered calmly, but slightly shy.

Zhen Xi looked at Jia Yuan carefully and felt her sincerity. She smiled and said to Jia Yuan, "I am, hehe."

The two men looked at each other and smiled.

Jia Yuan: "How did you think of asking this question?"

"I ... don't know, hehe." Zhen Xi smiled awkwardly. "Shall I tell you a joke?"

"good!" Jia Yuan turned to look at Zhen Xi.

"Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. There is an old monk telling a story. What is he talking about? Once upon a time, there was a mountain ... "

"Ha ha, it's all the same," "Ha ha ..." Two people's hearty laughter.

Chapter VII Dormitory

In the dormitory, Zhen Xi is dressing up in front of the mirror. Obviously, she is very happy today. She kept saying, "Once upon a time there was a mountain and there was a temple in it. There is an old monk telling a story in the temple. What are you talking about? There used to be a mountain ... "Liang Xiao came out of the toilet. (The moment he came out, the mushrooms on the mop were still growing, and Zhen Xi took one look.) He lit a cigarette and handed it to Zhen Xi. "How's it going? These days, I see you go out every day and don't attend classes. Do you know that the exam is coming soon? " Liang Xiao said while smoking. Jane Xi combs her hair while smoking.

"Well, I want to go out with her for a while! I also want to hurry up the exam. I want to take a good exam and win a scholarship. " Zhen has put down the comb and stood side by side smoking and chatting.

"You can get a scholarship." Liang Xiao looked at Zhen Xi with an open mouth.

"Why, don't believe me, I am very self-motivated, hehe ..." Zhen Xi answered, staring at the front, absorbed. The atmosphere of the conversation suddenly became serious. Looking at Zhen, it seems that he is infected.

"Well, I'm going out." Zhen Xiwen came back, looked at Liang Xiao and looked in the mirror.

"Well, be careful on the road," said to Zhen.

"Well, let's go." Zhen Xi walked out of the dormitory.

"Hey, will you come back tonight?" Liang Xiao shouted.

"Maybe, ha ha" Zhen precious little article pushed open the dormitory door to answer.

"Ha ha, the elder brothers pray for you tonight," Liang Xiao said.

Zhen precious little Wen smiled and closed the dormitory door.

Chapter VIII (old boys) Long-range shot (you can slow down)

Cherish a zhen out of the dormitory, shut the door, in the corridor, sneezed, bowed his head. Together, the camera has reached the other side of Zhen, with the dormitory opposite in the background (starting to pan the camera). When Zhen Xi left, the camera moved with him. Roommates in dormitory 302 were fighting and a stick flew out. Fortunately, Zhen hid in the past, while 304 was playing DOTA, and the noise of the heroes in the computer was endless (the real fighting here was linked to the killing of computer games). Suddenly, Zhen's face was sprayed with a large amount of blood. Zhen Xi wiped the blood on her face and walked to the door of 306. A boy took a girl into the dormitory and closed the dormitory door. When he walked to the door of 308, a group of people were watching porn and there was a voice calling for bed (this arrangement is also reasonable, the next door is working, and here is dubbing). When the camera stopped, a classmate with glasses was reading a pornographic magazine. Zhen Xi walked out of the photo and came back to look at the cover of the magazine.

"Dude, can I have a look?"

The classmate with glasses looked at him and handed him the book. Jane Xi read it happily, but it was still very exciting. He forgot the time, and the classmate with glasses was impatient.

"Yes, I'll give it back to you." Zhen left, and the students with glasses continued to enjoy it.

Chapter 9 Bus Adventure

A bus passed by, and there were many people on it, so I was very embarrassed to be crowded in the crowd. A girl appeared at the front door of the bus, which was Zhen's dream lover. In his opinion, this is perfect. Zhen was completely attracted by this woman. Her appearance, in Zhen's view, is so ethereal and illusory. Everything around her is black and white, only it is color.

This girl is illusory. This is just a girl in Zhen's fantasy. She is just a dream of Zhen Xi. The first * * * will appear three times. )

I don't know where the voice came from. It seems to be Jia Yuan's voice. Cherish zhen wen turned to look at (transition)

Chapter 10 Hotel Birthday Wishing

"What are you thinking? Blow out the candle quickly. " Jia Yuan pursed her lovely mouth and said to Zhen.

Zhen and Jia Yuan are sitting in an elegant restaurant, and a romantic atmosphere haunts them.

"Oh, I see. Shall we blow now? " Zhen precious little asked.

"No, you have to make a wish first," said Jia Yuan.

"Make a wish ..."

"Yes, make a wish."

Zhen Xi was silent. At this point he doesn't know what to wish for. Life is vast, and there are too many things to be done. The relatives and friends around you, healthy wealth, and your own self-interest are now in the future and have no end. After being confused, you are still confused. What's the use of wishing?

"Stupid again, wishing to blow out candles" Jia Yuan was a little angry.

"Oh, make a wish, what wish? How can you make so many wishes? "

"What's there to worry about? Just make one. Anyway, a person has many birthdays, as long as he doesn't die. " Jia Yuan always keeps an optimistic attitude.

"That's right, then wish me a chance to make a wish next time."

"Well, let's drink to your wish, to your birthday, and wish you a happy birthday." Jia Yuan said happily.

After eating the cake, Jia Yuan ate the cream on her mouth and wiped it with her hand. Jia Yuan also leaned over.

Zhen Xi looked at Jia Yuan affectionately. In the candlelight, the two kissed affectionately.

Chapter 11 Virginity

Zhen Xi dragged her upper body to the ground. Looking at Jia Yuan, Jia Yuan began to undress. Zhen began to unbutton her, and then the bra fell to the ground, Zhen's underwear, Jia Yuan's underwear. Zhen Xi went to bed, topless, and slowly leaned forward.

The night is already deep, and the whole city is asleep. The neat street lamps show the vitality of the city. How many touching stories are happening, but they are immersed in the darkness of the city.

The lights went out in turn, the sun came out, and Zhen and Jia Yuan were still sleeping in bed. Zhen Xiwen's phone rang, and it was his mother. Cherish zhen wen lazy picked up the phone. "Hey, mom. What happened? What, divorce? "

Chapter 12 Go home

Zhen Xi sat on the long-distance bus and looked at the scenery outside the window, looking a little tired. Jia Yuan sent a text message, "Pay attention to safety on the way home and come back when you are done. I miss you. "

On the way home, the scenery outside the window is still monotonous. Walking through the village leads to the city, and after passing through the city, the village is found again. The cycle is endless, and life is like this. The whole world is like this.

Zhen Xi got off the bus and walked home with his luggage. As soon as he entered the room, he heard his parents quarreling, which was very fierce. Zhen Xi watched them arguing outside the window. (Slow down, quarrel scene) Zhen Xi put his bag on the ground and squatted down to watch them quarrel with interest. Narrator: I think they are like children for the first time. When I saw them quarreling, I lost my previous panic and fear. Zhen Xi suddenly felt that he had become an adult. He can't bear the heavy responsibility of his family and the pressure of his future life. He stood up, picked up his suitcase and walked out of the door.

Chapter 13 Dormitories (Overlapping)

Zhen was smoking in bed and saw him lying behind his back.

"Xiao Liang, Xiao Liang, why are you still sleeping?" Zhen called several times, but he just didn't wake up.

"Stop screaming, you don't know," a roommate said to Zhen Xi.

"I don't know, what's the matter?" True Wen Xi.

"A few days after you go home, Liang Xiao broke up with Xiaomei. It has been several days, and Liang Xiao is lying in bed. " The roommate replied.

"What's the matter?" Zhen asked.

"Xiaomei seems to have a boyfriend again. One day Xiao Liang met her in the city." The roommate replied.

Xiao Liang opened his eyes and listened to all this. Then close your eyes and cover your head with a quilt.

"Oh, I see." Zhen Xi looked at Xiao Liang and said, "Oh, by the way, when shall we start the exam?"

"Start next week. Why? "

"Nothing, I want to behave well this time."

"Oh, hey, Jane Xi, how are you and your girlfriend?"

"What's wrong with us? What are we afraid of? " Cherish the answer

"It's really good for you, Xi," the roommate replied with a smile.

Zhen precious little wen's phone rang, "ha ha, see, this is the phone, hey, how, children, children ...! ! "

Chapter 13 Dormitory Road

I really walked out of the dormitory and saw the boy with glasses still reading Yellow Weekly. He went over and said, "Why are you still reading a magazine? It's time to practice. " Glasses man looked at Zhen enviously, and Zhen left with a smile. Glasses man looked at Zhen Xiyuan and said, "What should I do?"

Chapter XIV Hospital

"Give money," a hospital worker said through the window.

"How much is it?" Zhen Xi asked

A brief answer to "1000"

True Xi took out her wallet from her bag, but there was not enough money at all. Zhen Xi said to Jia Yuan, "Do you still have money?"

Jia Yuan curled her eyes and said, "No". I could hear that Jia Yuan was very angry.

"Not at all?" True Wen Xi.

"No" Jia Yuan looked at Zhen Xi and they were silent for a few seconds.

"Okay, okay, you go to the surgery first, and I'll pay the money later." Zhen Xi eased the atmosphere.

The small wheel of the operating vehicle slides, Jia Yuan lies on it, and Zhen is beside it.

"Will it be all right?" Jia Yuan is afraid.

"It's okay, what's the matter? I'll wait for you outside. " Zhen Xi 'an comforted Jia Yuan.

"Well, you have to wait for me."

"I am always outside, don't be afraid."

Jia Yuanjin went into the operating room, Zhen Xi sat on the bench outside, and the operation fee was not paid. He went to the ATM to withdraw money, and then went to the cashier's office. He hesitated. He wants to slip away without paying the operation fee and never contact him again. He decided to do so and left the cashier's office. He hesitated again. His conscience made him stay, but Jia Yuan was not his true love. He can't do this just because he is empty and lonely. But Zhen should bear the responsibility, Zhen turned back. Pay for the operation. Left the hospital.

Chapter 15 Empty mirror

After leaving Jiayuan, my life remains the same, without much change. I found that I don't love Jiayuan anymore. She scares me, just like seeing my parents. I don't know if I am capable of taking on the upcoming responsibilities. Watching the sunset slowly take away the color in front of me, feeling the future … My life is insecure. Take a lot of beautiful empty mirrors, speed up, add sound and pictures.

Chapter 16 The Second Adventure of the Bus

Zhen Xi was sitting on the bus when the phone rang. It was Jia Yuan. Zhen Xi immediately hung up the phone and called again, and Zhen Xi hung up again. At this moment, a girl came along, the girl of my last dream.

The girl stood holding the railing, and Zhen was fascinated. He said to himself, "Turn around and look at me, turn around and look at me …" The girl turned to look at Zhen, who was at a loss and could only lower her head. When he looked up, the girl had disappeared, and I didn't know where she had gone. At this moment, the phone rang again, and Zhen Xi looked down.

Chapter 17 Examination (Transfer by Telephone)

It's Jiayuan Zhenxi is in the examination room, and the exam is about to begin. Jin-hee hangs up the phone and turns it off.

Chapter 18 Hospital

Jia Yuan's eyes looked straight ahead, and his mobile phone kept pressing the dial button. "I'm sorry, the number you dialed is power off. .............................................................................................................................................

Chapter 19 Examination room

The examination room is very quiet. Zhen Xi wrote almost all the questions except one. Zhen Xi began to feel uneasy and looked around. From time to time, some students are caught cheating and taken out of the classroom. Zhen Xi looked around. It was safe, so he took it out of his pocket slowly. He looked very nervous and sweated on his forehead. He tried to copy it as soon as he got it on the table. Suddenly, a big hand reached in and grabbed the test paper. Before Zhen Xi could react, the test paper had left him. Zhen Xi looked at the paper that was getting farther and farther away from him, feeling a little trance. He didn't dare to accept it. He wants this to happen in a dream. It collapsed and a lot of sounds and pictures (especially messy fragments) began to emerge in my mind.

"That scholarship is great, rich and respectable." "You can't cheat. If you cheat, you have to record it, and you have to enter the file. Your life is over. " "Finally, I have to make up the exam and issue a diploma later." "It's a shame to cheat." "You are a loser, and others have caught you cheating." Zhen Xi was overwhelmed by the huge impact and walked out of the examination room. (This passage is to take a picture of a bullfight, with a fixed seat hanging on him, and finally take a blue screen background in the studio to make a transition for him to go to the dormitory later. ). Zhen Xi walked up and down in the whole classroom, vaguely said:

Chapter 20 dormitory

Zhen went back to the dormitory (shooting under the blue screen was profitable, and finally the classroom background became the dormitory background, but the people did not change). Lying in bed, my roommate is watching "We'll Wait and See", which is broadcast in 1:42 seconds. The article is about Pavel Colta King's classic passage. (Moves the camera from my roommate's movie position to Zhen's lying position) The phone rings, and Zhen sits up and answers the phone. "Hello, Dad." There was a silence. "You are really divorced!" Then hung up the phone.

Jane Xi weakly left the bed and went into the bathroom. He saw the mushrooms on the mop and stamped them flat. Out of the dormitory door. During this period, the sound of the film has always acted as ambient sound.

Chapter 21 Corridor

The same man with glasses, still reading Yellow Weekly, passed by and came back, grabbed the book, threw it on the ground, and trampled on it at random. After stepping on it, draw a picture. Glasses man don't know what's going on, stood there.