Dirty jokes about the 12 zodiac signs

★Aries

Mom told Aries: "Don't swing on the swing when wearing a skirt; otherwise, the little boys will see the underwear underneath!"

< p>One day, Yangyang happily said to her mother: "Today Xiao Ming and I competed on the swing, and I won!"

My mother said angrily: "Didn't I tell you? Don't wear a skirt when wearing a skirt. Swing!"

Yangyang said proudly: "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so he couldn't see it!"

( Brave and forthright, daring and courageous Aries)

★Taurus

Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, it’s not sweet, no money required!"

Niu Niu: "Wow! That's great, boss, here's something that's not sweet!"

(Taurus who manages the household, wants to have an affair but takes care of himself)

★Gemini

< p>Mom called Shuangshuang: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowd several times!"

Shuangshuang said: "What does the rooster's crow have to do with me? I am not a hen!"

< p>(Twins with strong self-awareness and independent thinking)

★Cancer

On the bus, Crab said: "I want to sleep with my mother tonight!"< /p>

Mom asked: "Will you sleep with your mother when you marry a daughter-in-law in the future?"

Crab Xia said without hesitation: "Yeah!"

Mom asked again: "Then What to do with your wife?"

Xi Xia thought for a long time and said: "It's easy, let her sleep with dad!"

Mom: "!"

(Oedipus complex, attached Cancer)

★Leo

The lion went to grandma’s birthday banquet. When eating birthday buns, the lion asked: "Why should we eat This kind of birthday bag that looks like a butt?”

Everyone’s expressions changed greatly after hearing this.

Shishi saw the bean paste in the birthday bag and said, "Grandma, look! There is still poop in it!"

Everyone was dizzy and vomited.

(A proud lion who only has his own feelings and is not afraid of the eyes of others)

★CN zodiac sign

I was very curious about my belly button, so I asked my dad.

Dad briefly explained the reason why the umbilical cord connects the fetus and the mother's body, saying: "After the baby left the mother's body, the doctor cut the umbilical cord and tied a knot, which later became the belly button."< /p>

Everywhere: "Then why doesn't the doctor tie a bow?"

(CN who is curious and pursues perfection)

●Libra

Father said to Tiantian: "Don't go to school today. Last night, your mother gave birth to two younger brothers for you. Just tell the teacher."

Tiantian replied: "Dad, I just said I gave birth to one; I want to save the other until next week when I don’t want to go to school.”

(Smart, weighing the pros and cons)

●Scorpio

As soon as Scorpion fell asleep, he was bitten by a mosquito.

Xie Xie got up to drive away the mosquitoes, but couldn't get them out, so he pointed at the mosquitoes and said, "Okay, if you don't go out, I'll go out!" As he said this, he left the room, closed the door tightly, and said proudly Said: "Humph! If I don't come in tonight, I will starve you to death!"

(Scorpio who doesn't understand and doesn't play by common sense)

●Sagittarius

Sheshe: "Dad, why do you have so many white hairs?"

Dad: "Because you are not good, so Dad has a lot of white hair."

Sheshe: "Then why does Grandpa have all white hair?"

Dad: "!"

(A Sagittarius who likes to think)

● Capricorn

Capricorn went to the street with his mother, and it suddenly started to rain.

Mom said: "It's raining, run forward!"

Jie Jie asked slowly: "Will it stop raining ahead?"

< p>(Capricorn who understands reality and is too lazy to change)

●Aquarius

Aquarius asked her mother: "Why do you call Mr. Jiang 'ancestor'?"

Mom said: "Because 'ancestor' is a name for the dead.

"

Pingping said: "Should the deceased grandma be called 'Fresh Milk'? ”

(An Aquarius who is naturally different and always thinks differently from ordinary people)

●Pisces

Dad told Yuyu about how he often went hungry when he was a child.

After listening, Yuyu had tears in his eyes and asked with great sympathy: "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you had no food? ”

(Pisces who is compassionate and regardless of the situation)