Humorous stories related to accounting profession

Born for risk; Die for poverty; Maximize the value of assets; Spell with the topic; Competing with exams; Running around this life for numbers; Eat corporate losses; Take the lead in the audit! Be full of blood, learn accounting, and stay where you are all the time. I'm tired from sitting at my desk all day. I am more tired than an ox from morning till night. I dare not be wrong in my fart. I have to work overtime on holidays and dare not leave my post for a moment. I have a meeting at the weekend. The tax inspection collapsed. I don't understand society every day. The salary is not high, and you have to pay taxes. Spine hyperplasia every day. I want to abandon my family and live up to my elders. When I got home, I had to be timid and ashamed. Being an accountant is really tiring! An accountant's life is a life of dealing with numbers, a life of fighting wits with the tax bureau, a life of covering my boss's tax underpayment with his own life, and a life of helping people manage their finances but being poor. Therefore, the greatness of accounting students and the glory of death! As an accountant, I was deeply encouraged and happy when I deeply understood the subtle remarks of the great leader Chairman Mao, so I made an accounting entry without hesitation: Loan: Poor 1 Born a loan: Happiness 1 Born 1, and both husband and wife are accountants. I bought cosmetics one day. My husband said that the treatment method is included in the maintenance fee; The wife was furious and said, how can this be regarded as alimony? Should be included in intangible assets! 2. A man wearing a doctor's graduation gown and a doctor's square hat came to an accounting firm with a suitcase and said to the accountant, I can't find a job. Can the tuition I paid be counted as investment failure tax exemption? 3. An accountant was insomnia. He went to his doctor: "Doctor, I can't sleep at night!" " The doctor said, "Have you ever tried counting sheep?" Accountant: "Ah! This is the problem. I made a mistake when counting sheep. It took me three hours to find this mistake. " Both husband and wife are accountants. One day they bought cosmetics. The husband said that the treatment method is included in the maintenance fee. The wife was furious and said, how can this be regarded as alimony? Should be included in intangible assets! A man wearing a doctor's graduation gown and a doctor's square hat came to an accounting firm with a suitcase and said to the accountant, I can't find a job. Can the tuition I paid be counted as investment failure tax exemption? An accountant was insomnia. He went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I can't sleep at night!" " "The doctor said," have you ever tried counting sheep? Accountant: "Ah! This is the problem. I made a mistake when counting sheep. It took me three hours to find this mistake. "I don't know when I began to be afraid of people who do finance: I am afraid of people who do finance. Those people Excel is too slippery, I can only be dumbfounded. While I was still smug about learning a few shortcut keys, people were already using macros and pivottables. With admiring eyes and a sigh, people just smiled indifferently, which was really too low and uncomfortable. I'm afraid of people who do finance. The mathematical logic of those people is too strong, and the CPU of the brain is not an order of magnitude. Shopping with them, when I took out my mobile phone and was still stupidly pressing the button to calculate the discount price, they had come to the conclusion that it was not cost-effective. Let's go to the next one. Leaving me and the clerk in a mess, after all, my math and physical education teacher taught me. Playing with numbers in front of them is actually teaching others to swim and walk with a calculator, hehe. I'm afraid of people who do finance. Those people are too persistent and have amazing memories. Everyone seems to have the power to flood the wild. Compared with their exams and textual research, it is always incomparable. You'll be happy if you take a major? People have been preparing for intermediate and advanced courses for a long time. And CPA, five years and six subjects, how many days and nights, how many people retreat, they still bravely move forward. Suddenly I feel that my so-called "quiet years" are all nonsense. How can I get along with poetry and distance? I'm afraid of people who do finance. Those people eat coffee as a meal and always work overtime. It's like working with their lives. It is said that they are busy at the beginning and end of the month, but in fact they are busy every day. Three statements are turned in turn, and a laundry list of invoice vouchers and budget forms are flying all over the sky. Look at yourself who gets off work on time every day, plays after dinner and has a normal rest on holidays. I always feel that I am wasting my time and my life. I am afraid of people who do finance, and I am even more afraid of people who have been doing finance for ten years and are still doing finance. They invisibly gave me a kind of pressure, which made me embarrassed to give up the people I was afraid of doing finance when I encountered difficulties. The salary is so low, but you still fight so hard! Regarding earmarking, it is said that earlier, a father asked his children to go shopping. He first gave three coppers to buy soy sauce and three coppers to buy vinegar. When his son went to the soy sauce shop, he was very worried. He couldn't remember which three coppers were soy sauce and which three coppers were vinegar, so he hurried home and asked his father. Tell a joke to make you happy. For the record, this is what I saw before, not what I made up.