Need a very funny joke.

A girl put a smile on her boyfriend and asked, "Is it nice?" Boyfriend said, "Good-looking, like Mona Lisa's sister." The girl asked, "Who is that?" The boyfriend said, "Janet Martha (so fucking stupid)."

Second place:

Mother took her daughter back from kindergarten and asked on her way home, "What English did the teacher teach today?" The daughter said, "Big Sprite." Mother is confused. The next day she went to the kindergarten and asked the teacher. The teacher said, "I taught the capital letter' B' yesterday."

Third place:

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. . Cry, cry. . He flew. ...

Fourth place:

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; There is an egg. ...

Fifth place:

I went to change my driver's license today, and the red light stopped at an intersection. As a result, a mother was holding a child, and there was a bigger one in front, which was stopped by the traffic police ... The traffic police said, "Miss, even if your child doesn't wear a helmet, why don't you wear it yourself?" This doesn't make sense! Mother said, "children can't buy such a small one!" " ! The traffic police said, "but bring it yourself!" ! "Mom said," Why should I take it? If anything happens to my child, I don't want to live! ! 」

Sixth place:

A candy, walking in the North Pole, thought it was cold,-so it turned into rock sugar.

Seventh place:

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked: Where are we going? The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?

Eighth place:

One dark night, Daming was working the night shift alone at the toll station of the expressway, and suddenly there was a gust of evil wind!

With the low engine roar, I saw a black car slowly stop at the toll gate. Daming looked up and looked intently! There is no one in the driver's seat! ! Panicked Daming quickly lifted the railing and let go! The black car passed slowly ... What happened? Later ... the car slowly drove into Kaifeng House. No.9: On the bus, a man holds it in one hand and his fingers are separated, like holding a bowl. When he got tired of holding it, he changed hands carefully, as if holding an invisible ball. Everyone was curious about what he had in his hand, and finally someone couldn't help asking, "Dude, what are you practicing?" The buddy replied, "My wife asked me to buy her a bra for fear of forgetting the size ..." Issue 10: Cao Cao had a headache. Hua tuo thought that the root of Cao Cao's headache was the skull, so he told Cao Cao: cut his brain. Cao Cao was furious after hearing this: I have a terrible headache. How dare you sing? Somebody, drag it out and behead it. Hua Tuo, Zudi 1 1: "Doctor, I sometimes feel a lot of pressure." "When is it usually?" "When cooking." "Oh, what's your name?" "Pressure cooker." Issue 12: customer service is actually the main cause of constipation, because they often say to users: I'm sorry for the inconvenience ~ Issue 13: Yesterday, I took the bus, and an uncle next to me was holding a mobile phone, and suddenly the phone rang, and the uncle immediately answered: "Hello? Hello? " The sound is getting louder and louder. Just when everyone was inquiring about it, he put down the phone and said to himself, "Oh, it's a text message!" " Issue 14: The unit will hold a sports meeting, and the 400-meter race will begin immediately. On the court, colleagues are optimistic about Xiao Zhang. To everyone's surprise, Xiao Wang, who is thin, actually won the championship. Colleagues surrounded him and asked, "What makes you play so magic?" He said shyly, "I'm in a hurry to go to the toilet." Issue 15: I bought fruit when I was talking to my grandmother today. Grandma asked, "Why?" "buy fruit" "oh! Remember to wash before eating! " "Nothing, I bought bananas." "oh! Then remember to peel it before eating! " "..." Issue 16: I bought a car a few days ago and drove it back today, so I wrote on my QQ signature: I have the car ~ ~ hahaha. . . I don't want to have comments from netizens: it's a bit like a thief reporting to the boss. Issue 17: It is said on TV that nutritionists say that you should eat fruits and vegetables first, then staple food, and finally meat, because fruits and vegetables digest fastest, followed by starch, and protein is the slowest. I think it makes sense. After I ate a melon and a bowl of noodles, I found that my beloved roast duck could not eat any more. . . What nutritionist? You are a liar! ! ! !