Degang Guo Spring Festival crosstalk talks about dream lines

Guo: I'm glad there are many people here. That's great. There are potholes everywhere.

Y: We are full today.

Guo: These people are all here because they praise you.

Y: hold me?

Guo: Yes!

Y: no,

Guo: Hey!

Y: no!

Guo: Yes!

Y: really?

Guo: You, listen carefully!

Y: I'm still glad to waste my time here.

Guo: You just, you just think that the big guy is here to win you over.

Y: Oh, you think so?

Guo: Can these people come by crosstalk alone?

Y: Oh, what else?

Guo: Everyone is because of my special status.

Y: what identity?

Guo: Stop talking and listen to me.

Y: I can't even ask?

Guo: May I ask? I'm not that good with you

Y: Are we going to talk or not?

Guo: Who is it? Tell you what? You know who I am. You tell me?

Y: I ask you because I don't know you.

Guo: Still, isn't that the end?

Y: Then stop talking.

Guo: Then there will be no leverage. There are no chips left. ...

Y: Then let's go down!

Guo: Go down, I'm not finished yet.

Y: will you say it or not?

Guo: None of you know me, do you?

Y: I don't know anyone

Guo: I'm a scientist.

Y: I have no confidence in myself.

Guo: You can't refute this matter.

Y: oh! Ah ... as can be seen from this picture, scientists are too lazy to slip away, so why are you shivering?

Guo: I am a second-hand scientist.

Y: I think it's used.

Guo: Great. If you don't understand anything, you can ask me. I can choose what I want to answer.

Y: This man still has a sense of shame.

Guo: Ah! Damn it.

Y: neither will you.

Guo: behave yourself when you talk to scientists. It's no wonder that many people are polite before they learn art.

Y: I was being polite.

Guo: That's right, that's right. As a scientist, you should know everything.

Y: Everyone knows that.

Guo: As the old saying goes, a scientist's belly is a grocery store, and he sells whatever he buys.

Y: No, that's not an old saying. That's what crosstalk says. An actor's belly is a grocery store.

Guo: Well, we are a grocery store and a supermarket. Ah, yes, a scientist's belly is a supermarket. buy ...

Y: impossible,

Guo: Huh? Is there any way?

Y: of course there is a way. The belly of a scientist is a supermarket. What can we do? Here you are.

Guo: You care about that, as long as you know how to do it. I've studied a lot. I study a lot of things, ah, calculating and playing computer.

Y: What about your gram of edamame? It's playing computer, like this.

Guo: I didn't bring my computer out. I'm bleeding on your eyes.

Y: Is this how you use the computer?

Guo: Are you bothering me? Scientists know martial arts, and no one can stop them.

Y: Scientists are equivalent to hooligans.

Guo: Hum! You are forbidden to look down on scientists, do you know? If I drive more than 20 scientists to your home, that will be enough.

Y: I am poor just by eating.

Guo: Hate, hate, don't look down on me.

Y: no

Guo: I have made achievements in many fields.

Y: oh, it involves many fields?

Guo: Hey ... Hey, hey. ...

Y: Are you happy?

Guo: Hey, hey ... We can't show our feelings.

Y: I still can't see. Well, my eyes are about to fall off.

Guo: Because my identity is very unusual, right? I, know that I am?

Y: used?

Guo: What?

Y: A scientist?

Guo: Hehe. ...

Y: I don't know whether I like this scientist or this second-hand one.

Guo: I'll sign it for you.

No, where should I sign? This is,

Guo: I have a knife. I'll give you face.

Y: Forget it, forget it!

Guo: Huh?

Y: Forget it, forget it!

Guo: No?

Y: no, no!

K: It will be cheaper.

Y: no

Guo: It will be expensive in the future.

Y: forget it.

Guo: I have learned a lot.

Y: What have you studied?

Guo: I have researched and invented many things. Everything from space technology and cloning to streets and lanes and daily necessities has been studied.

Y: You invented all this.

Guo: Of course, it will be dark as soon as we get to the corridor. In the past, we had to ask that little red dot to press that light. DER is on, and sometimes we press the wrong button. DER is open.

Y: Well, the switch is still on, little red dot.

Guo: I lost that box, and now when I enter the corridor, bang. ...

Y: Oh, voice control.

Guo: Who studied it?

Y: who is it?

Guo: (patting his chest and coughing)

Y: Scientists are ruined.

Guo: (coughing) Me. ...

Y: well, let's talk about it after clearing our throat.

Guo: I have studied it. At the beginning, one of you said cross talk, but some people didn't believe it. Do you know a man named Cao?

Y: I know.

Guo: He said it was impossible. I said come with me. It was dark as soon as we got to the corridor. Bang, bang! Here we go. Are you wearing it? Are you wearing it?

Can you believe it?

Guo: Believe it or not, why did you hit me in the mouth?

Y: cough! Isn't it just a slap?

Guo: Black, I can't see my hands.

Y: You can see his face.

Guo: Who told him not to believe me?

Y: I mainly resist hitting people.

Guo: These are small and everyday. Large, aerospace science and technology,

Y: space science and technology?

Guo: There was a God 6 two days ago.

Y: yes!

Guo: Oh, you know?

Y: Who doesn't know this great event?

Guo: Shenzhou VI was named after me.

Y: How was it named after you?

Guo: I'm fine. I was just hanging out with street gods.

Y: idle people.

Guo: It's called Six Gods. I learned it. Heaven, how can you go to heaven? This does not mean that you will come at the right time. You know, I bought many matches. I twisted off all the phosphorus surfaces, put them together and put them under God 6. I pinched a big match and went up.

Y: Shenzhou VI went up like this!

Guo: I see. It's all mine, okay? Cloning,

Y: cloning.

Guo: I also invented cloning technology, cloning technology, cloning technology.

Y: Oh, cloning?

Guo: What is cloning? Cloning is in English ... just speak Chinese, speak Chinese.

Y: You can also talk about Chinese.

Guo: Well ... how can I put it?

Y: China doesn't know what to say.

Guo: It's clinical medicine, and the application ... is quite troublesome, you know? A few words are unclear. Is plagiarism.

Y: Ah, yes, cloning is copying.

Guo: copy,

Y: yes!

Guo: Just, just, got it? I'm dying. I can't discuss this problem with a smart person like you, you know?

Y: I see, not that I don't understand. Why don't I understand copying?

Guo: I see. All right. I, I think crosstalk performers have bad brains, because when I was in the Academy of Sciences, we scientists all squatted there to discuss these things.

Y: stand up,

Guo: I understood as soon as I said it.

Y: what!

Guo: Almost transparent.

Y: Do scientists squat to discuss things?

Guo: Ah, this is a broken leg, isn't it?

Y: Can you sit down?

Guo: Copy anything, including you.

Y: I can copy, too?

K: Of course, copying needs to be around 40 yuan.

Y: I'm really cheap.

Guo: Almost, 40 to 50. If you have money, 50!

Y: There is no pricing, is there? There is room for pricing.

Guo: Buy such a white porcelain jar, so high, and sell mutton offal.

Y: Don't mention this Haggis.

Guo: Hey, the water is clean. Find a rag. It's all cleaned up inside and out. It must be cleaned. After cleaning, look for such a rubber tube. There is a needle over there, do you know? Stuff it into your stomach. Ah, take a bite here.

Y: You are changing water for the fish tank. What is this?

Guo: Is it necessary to steal gasoline?

Y: Well, I said this copy!

Guo: Don't worry, I'll take some blood for you to copy first. Gene, you are all here, here, taking 400 Jin of blood from you,

Y: There is no such thing as 400 Jin.

Guo: Come on, come on, just a little. It still needs water, right?

Y: This is also watered.

Guo: That's it. As soon as you pour water, put some salt, pepper, put a picture of yourself, cover it, insert a bolt, there is a switch at the bottom, press the light to write this cooking, sit there and so on.

Did you put me in the rice cooker?

Guo: After a while, Teng! It rebounded. As soon as the lid was lifted, a Yu Qian was born.

Y: So it was plagiarized?

Guo: Later, this technology was learned by people who made blood tofu.

Y: What am I talking about?

Guo: Well, clone, this is a very simple way to make it clear to you.

Y: Oh, I see.

Guo: You asked me a lot of things in the background of cross talk.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: Hey, there is an old actor called backstage.

Y: Oh, Mr. Zhang.

Guo: Teacher Zhang, I heard that he won the lifetime artistic achievement award?

Y: Yes, yes, the prize was awarded two days ago.

Guo: What else did you win, the most unbalanced award?

Y: Right, right, right.

Guo: The old man is old. Ask me something.

Y: no one understands.

Guo: I met him in the backyard today. "Degang!"

Y: there is no balance yet. Here you are.

Guo: Let me ask you a question. I had a dream last night. What happened? I said nothing, the dream is my heart, it doesn't matter. Hey! I dreamed that I was a cow grazing on the mountain. I didn't say anything. What? Nothing! When I woke up, the mat on my kang was gone!

Y: ah!

Guo: I said this is simple. Come on, let's take him to the hospital. Come on, come on!

You don't have to tell me.

Guo: When he went to the hospital, he was very confused. what is dream

Y: Then tell me about it.

Guo: People are asleep, and the brain's thinking has not stopped working. Ah, it's still moving. Reproduce what you have encountered, what happened, the scenes you have been to, and dream! Well, don't associate it with superstition, it's wrong.

Y: that's all right.

Guo: Yes, some people say that there are different versions of your dreams.

Y: Oh, dream interpretation.

Guo: Some people say that they dreamed of water, which is very good. This shows that they want to get rich.

Y: Oh, water represents wealth.

Guo: Dreaming of goldfish,

Y: what's this?

Guo: You need money, too.

Y: money, too.

Guo: I dreamed of a child who was broken.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: This is a villain.

Y: Oh, children are all little people.

Guo: Well, it's best to dream of touching the moon.

Y: What's with touching the moon?

Guo: It is said that you can become an emperor in this way.

Y: wow!

Guo: I dreamed that I touched the moon more than a thousand times.

Y: What about you now?

Guo: And cross talk!

Y: cough!

Guo: It seems very young, doesn't it?

Y: it's no use at all!

Guo: Sometimes things that pass by during the day are easy to associate with at night.

Y: really?

Guo: You see, one day at noon, someone invited me to dinner and eat roast duck.

Y: not bad.

Guo: You know my appetite. I just ate four. I said I really can't eat any more.

Y: you're not dead, are you

Guo: I also ate four cakes.

Y: what about the cake?

Guo: A catty of bread is rolled and eaten.

Y: Do you have roast duck and bread rolls?

Guo: I can't eat. I said I can't eat. I won't eat. I was invited to dinner at night, bird hotpot.

Y: still eating.

Guo: There are chickens, pigeons, quails and geese, and they are eaten in a big hot pot. Sleeping at night, my mind is full of birds.

Y: I dreamed it.

Guo: All kinds of birds follow it. I carry a shotgun and I fight.

Y: hunting.

Guo: Bird-hunting, this, that, that, this, that's right, ok, a big arm more than one meter long, quack ... I said, this big one, this one, I want to fight. Just about to fight, he said, don't fight, don't fight!

Y: The bird has spoken.

Guo: I'm not a bird, not a bird? What is this for? I am an angel! Oh! Angels?

Y: yes!

Guo: Which group?

Y: Angels have no alliance.

Guo: I stopped and my wings fell off. I am an angel. Angels? What should I call you? You can call me the hostess.

Y: The angel named it.

Guo: Saner? What is this? God, please go. God? Who is the apprentice?

Y: God is not our pedestrian, you know?

Guo: Huh? Who is the apprentice? Say you don't care. I want to talk to you about something. Say you can go to heaven with me. Let's go Thanks to me, I flew. This is very high. Look down. Oh, my mother, thanks to my practice, otherwise I would throw up.

Y: oh, my god.

Guo: When you come to heaven, you can see that this tall building is very big. There is a fence door in front, which is locked and hung with a sign. It is forbidden to set up a stall about 0/00 meters away from Paradise/Kloc-.

Y: Is there a stall in heaven?

Guo: Saner said, wait a moment, and I'll find it for you. "Mao! Mao! Mao! Hey! "

Y: knock at the door.

Guo: Uncle Wang! Uncle Wang!

Y: What's wrong with Uncle Wang?

Guo: My uncle's surname is Wang. Call reception. "Is Saner back?"

Y: going backwards?

Guo: You're back? Come on, Mr. Guo is here. Open the door and let me near. Wait a minute. I'll tell God. He left. Let me stand there. Facing a big screen, there are many clocks and watches hanging.

Y: table?

Guo: Hmm! They are all so big, the same and countless. Here, the speed of this needle is different.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: There are fast and slow. I said Sam, come on, what's going on? You don't know this. There is a person in the world, and there is a watch in heaven.

Y: Why do I say so much?

Guo: Why do some of them rotate fast and others rotate slowly? Well, good people turn slowly, and bad people turn fast! Oh, by the way, I have a friend named Yu Qian.

Y: That's about me.

Guo: Where are his pieces?

Y: look for it.

Guo: Oh, his piece is not here.

Y: where did you go?

Guo: God took it away and used it as an electric fan.

Y: Ah, I'm all right!

Guo: Just then, Uncle Wang came out. Come on, God is waiting. Let's go

Y: Why does it smell like this?

Guo: Push the door and come in. God sat there smoking. Just now? Sit down, sit down.

Y: oh, my god Smoking a lot.

Guo: Come and sit down. ...

Y: I pinched my cigarette fart.

Guo: I said, Mr. Shang!

Y: Mr. Shang?

Guo: Brother! Sit down ... brother, sit down ...

Y: call each other brothers.

Guo: Oh! Oh, I'm glad you came. After so long, a crosstalk performer has gone to heaven.

Y: The rest will go to hell. What?

Guo: Drink water, drink water, I said I don't want to drink ... Hehe, you know, Lao Wang, bring the rice here and our family will cut it. Go on, get the rice!

Y: Well, what are the words in heaven?

Guo: Go and get something to eat. I will treat you well when you come today.

Y: Oh, eat well.

Guo: After a while, I can spread my eggs, one for each person.

Y: pancakes?

Guo: Hey, I say we eat this? Hey.-I can't help it. There are only four of us in heaven. Ah, mistress, Lao Wang, I, you, really don't deserve the fire.

Y: Don't hire a chef.

Guo: First, first. After eating, sit here. I said we were the only ones in heaven who were bored. What's the fun? I'm not here to play, but if you have any requirements, I can realize your wish.

Y: Oh, you can name a few.

Guo: Wow! -You said this!

Y: you're welcome!

Guo: Good stuff!

Y: tell him.

Guo: I said I want world peace.

Yu: Big wish.

Guo: This is very difficult.

Y: it's difficult.

Guo: To be honest, man, I didn't mean to save your face.

Y: Well, why is this god so vulgar?

Guo: Because I can walk through the aisle, (lighting a cigarette)

Y: What else?

Guo: Yes, this is more difficult for me. Please discuss something else. Ah!

Let me mention one more item.

Guo: Ah! You say. Can't even achieve world peace ... Hey, I have a friend named Yu Qian.

Y: You think of me again.

Guo: Look, I brought a photo. He is not good-looking Can you make him beautiful?

Y: It's for my own good. How's this? Can you put out that cigarette? Look at this picture.

Guo: Let's talk about world peace.

Y: Ouch-I want to work harder than world peace.

Guo: I am so angry. Who told you to tear it? No, say no, why did you tear it? I am useful!

Y: why?

Guo: I'll keep it as an exorcist.

Y: ok, tear it up.

Guo: I said, you come out, you come out.

Y: why?

Guo: I say we paint outside! God is happy, the button is unbuttoned, wow! Take it off, pat it to protect your heart,

Y: oh, my god

Guo: There are two hairtail in this article.

Y: Well, those two dragons are playing with pearls.

Guo: put on your sunglasses, you come out, go, come out, outside us, outside, ah!

Y: underworld boss?

Guo: My heart says I'm afraid of you? But on second thought, no. I'm alone, the three of them, and Lao Wang and Saner.

Y: that's right.

Guo: If I can't beat them, I'll jump into the sky. Flash! Just standing up, God took out the remote control and said, "Turn!" " Wow!

Y: cloud?

Guo: The cloud is supported by their family, do you know?

Y: Well, is there anyone who can feed the clouds?

Guo: Go upstream and go down. If it's over, I'll die

Y: exactly.

Guo: Suddenly, bang! Someone reached out and grabbed me,

Y: it stopped.

Guo: Drop it on the ground and have a look. These two look like goblins.

Y: why?

Guo: A cow's head and a horse's head.

Y: This is a cow's head and horse's face.

Guo: We've seen the underworld, and there are horses and cows.

Y: right.

Guo: Well, thank you for saving my life. Are you Degang Guo? No, my name is Yu Qian.

Why did you mention me at this time?

Guo: Yu Qian? No, where are you so poor?

Y: hey! Let's not talk about it.

Guo: It's you. The terrible angel wants to see you. Jump and walk with the chain! Report to the underworld, Senluo Collection. I told you it wouldn't annoy anyone!

Y: go ahead.

Guo: Well, what about that thing?

Y: look.

Guo: But I was locked up. Let's go! Let's go Let's go I said it's too far, I can't go, don't talk nonsense, ah, take a taxi!

Y: Are you going by taxi?

Guo: Come, come, come, get on the bus and walk for ten minutes. Here we are. Get off and have a look. Oh, that's terrible.

Y: really?

Guo: Here stands an oil pan, with thick smoke from the bottom and four corners from the top. Hot oil turns over. Ouch! Many children are jumping up there, trying to blow people up. Always say oil pan, oil pan, I saw it today.

I saw it today.

Guo: Ah! Some throw it inside and fry it, some hug it together and fry it inside, some beat people flat, cut three holes with a knife and shake it.

Y: This is fried cake.

Guo: That's terrible!

Y: What's so scary about this?

Guo: That's terrible!

Y: Don't we meet every morning?

Guo: Ah! Damn it! Damn it! This is embarrassing. Look at that.

Y: What about bombing people? This is ...

Guo: Hide and moan. After a while, the bell rang inside, and "DER…… ..." boarded the temple horribly.

Y: and an electric bell.

Guo: Oh! A big dragon book case, three times bigger than this table, hum! There are fans, handkerchiefs, awakening wood and Yu Zi, all in place.

Y: Yu Zi, how about cross talk?

Guo: As soon as I turned the screen, the terrible man came out and this scene came. From a distance, he is carefree, but from a close distance, he wobbles. Some people say it's a gourd, others say it's a gourd, rushing around in the water. They bet by the river that Wang Wenlin was taking a bath.

Y: cough!

Guo: The kids shouted together, "Di-"The terrifying nodded. Thank you, thank you, I'm very happy. thank you

Y: ah! This terrible man, what road is this?

Guo: Tell him, "Come on, bring the criminals!" Jumping from the outside, the anklet rings, bringing in three people!

Y: wear shackles.

Guo: The first one, Yu Qian!

Y: Oh, I was there.

Guo: The second one.

Y: Oh, Mr. Zhang.

Guo: The third one is.

Yo, there are three of us.

Guo: Three people came in. Look, Yu Qian!

Y: call me.

Guo: Yes! Hum, dare to say cross talk and stand on the table all the year round.

Y: It's a joke.

Guo: Despise our king.

Y: no

Guo: Come on, fight! Say a dozen, GREAT GHOST came and took a mace.

Y: yo!

Guo: A melon seed has a big head and many thorns. Hit you in the face.

Y: I can't stand it.

Guo: Look, Zi, it's all blood. The prince saw it and led him to the wall, even with a painter.

Y: wow!

Guo: Second child, come here! Here comes Mr. Zhang, ah! What?

Y: not yet.

Guo: Me, what's the matter? I'm Zhang Wenshun, ah. Oh! The shoulder is crooked, which is intentional. Fight!

Y: call again!

Guo: mace, bang bang! Son-take it to the wall.

Y: the brush is very uniform.

Guo: With whom? This is coming, terrible. This is very interesting.

Y: Is it still interesting? This Mr. Wang is nothing!

Guo: Oh, how dare you shake me! Come on, hit this head around. Ding Guangding! Zihe sprayed blood around. Ah!

Y: Just stand in the room.

Guo: Ah, yes! I tremble at the sight of it.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: Oh, come on, all three of you gave me presents. What should I do after all three of you are like this? I'll watch from the back. The terrible man shouted, "That Degang Guo!

Y: I called you.

Guo: Come on-let him come up! I can't hide! "Broken, spouted cold depend on me. I said, "Horrible, hehe ... good spirit, hehe." ...

Y: Let's start with this group of words.

Guo: More and more energetic. You're fine. "Don't talk nonsense, anything!

Y: in vain.

Guo: Somebody, move a sofa!

Y: sit down?

Guo: Sit there and say, don't move, I say it's inappropriate, sit down ... I sit down, and the terrible man touches his pocket and takes out his cigarette. Come, come ... I said I just pinched it, come. ...

Y: this god is simply terrible.

Guo: Thank you, thank you, thank you. What did you call us here for today? What's wrong! Hum! If you don't mention it, you'll forget that your mouth is too bad for cross talk, so I'll spare you today. Come on, hit him!

Y: still playing.

Guo: When I look at that mace, it is covered with blood. Can I stand it when I hit my face? I told you not to do this. I am young and energetic. Please spare me this time. I dare not do it again. Hum! Don't dare to say no?

Yes

Guo: It has indeed changed. Can you change it? I can change it. Oh, then stop fighting!

Y: Stop fighting, as long as you are happy!

Guo: Stop fighting, stop fighting. Give me a hot bowl, hurry up,

Y: what about tea?

Guo: Tie Niu, Tie Niu, give me a bowl of hot food. Come on, come on ... I said I wouldn't drink it. Drink ... I'll tell you what, shouted the three people who brushed the pulp.

Y: it's almost ready.

Guo: Then the three of us will come. Ah, at this stop, this capital crime will be spared, and this living crime will be hard to forgive. We can't let you go. Come on, get up here!

Y: What did you take?

Guo: As soon as you say it, children will resist eating and driving. There are four big turtle covers, three male and one female.

Y: This is gender.

Guo: Look, Yan Ye, the four of you got into the tortoise shell and reincarnated. Don't be a man in the next life, just be a turtle.

Y: yo!

Guo: It kills me to watch it.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: reincarnation, three men and eight women, only a man,

Y: yes!

Guo: If you become a mother, it will kill you.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: Then I met a joke by the river. Can it stand this?

Y: Well, who's kidding you?

Guo: I was stunned. The three of us quickly got into the lid and turned and ran. My tears came down. You three are too bad. Only in this way can we see human nature. You three bastards ran away and turned me into this bitch. I turned around and said, terrifying, I beg you, I don't want this. You say inappropriate is inappropriate?

Y: yes!

Guo: I said I want to be a good person in the future! Ok, then don't be a pawn!

Y: Is it really inappropriate?