14-word composition of jokes with big nerves

I don't have the joke composition you want. I have jokes from two couples here. I hope you can learn from them to help you: I have been with my husband for four years. In my eyes, he is more like a man from southern China. At home, he likes to cook and do housework, and occasionally he has a childish temper. There are so many funny things with him. If you are interested, I will take my time.

It's his first time to go to a hospital in China. Then he went to have a check-up. At that time, Chinese was not as fluent as it is now, so he stuttered, but he liked to boast very much. So when he saw the doctor, he insisted on explaining the symptoms himself, and he stammered for a long time.

After the doctor helped him with a simple check-up, he said earnestly, "It's not very obvious outside. It seems that he needs a brain check-up. I suspect that it has affected his brain nerves and his speech is a bit awkward."

Then I went to check my eyesight, because Korean eye charts are all in English or numbers, and China is a downward symbol. This is the first time he saw it, but he was too careless to notice it, so a funny thing happened.

The doctor pointed to the downward symbol, and he said "M". The doctor was surprised.

The doctor pointed to the upward symbol, and he said "W", and the doctor started. "The doctor collapsed on the spot and said," Where did you come from? ! "

Singing karaoke

My husband is super patriotic, but this country is China. And he loves to sing China songs, and we always laugh at him as a "Kazak-Chinese" family.

once at home, my husband suddenly said to me, "I learned a new song today."

"what song?" I laughed.

"Sweet honey." He said proudly.

"really? That song is very classic, please sing it for me ... "

" OK. " So he closed his eyes and began to sing with narcissism: "Sweet, sweet, sweet ~ ~ sweet, sweet, sweet ......................................................................................................................................... !

My husband's surname is Jin, and my surname is Li, both of which are domestic surnames, hehe.

once, when we were watching TV, he put a P. I picked up the pillow and beat it up, and said, "You fart!" "

it's human instinct to let go of P. I can't help but make mistakes. It was his turn to talk about me this time. He scolded me like I did, and said, "You fart Li!" "

It turns out that he thought I scolded "Fart Gold" last time. So far, I haven't explained the difference between gold and essence to him, because I think Fart Lee is much more civilized than Fart Essence, hehe.

Meeting my parents for the first time before marriage

Because my husband is Korean and his family is not rich, my mother didn't understand why I like him (after all, girls nowadays are very realistic, and Zhejiang people generally want to find a local son-in-law), and she was very opposed to our communication at first. So, my husband decided to go to my house and make a good relationship with the prospective mother-in-law. After my lobbying, my mother finally agreed.

Korean dramas were not popular at that time, so my mother didn't quite understand Korean customs.

As soon as my husband entered my house, he made a 9-degree bow: "Hello, mom!" " (Because in Korea, a friend's mother also calls her mother. "

My mother was so frightened that she quickly bowed back:" Call aunt, don't call mom. "

Because young people bow in Korea, old people don't have to return, so my husband was shocked and bowed 12 degrees again: "Hello aunt!" "

When my mother saw him salute like this, she returned the gift with China's idea: "Please come in."

My husband is another bow that I don't know: "Thank you, Aunt!" "

My mother couldn't stand it any longer. She quickly said to me, "Tell him to stop bowing, my old waist is about to break! ！”

Later, my husband also told me that if he bowed down that day, it would be 18 degrees, and he would have to crawl into my house.

My husband often says that China is vast in territory and abundant in natural resources. There are many things that South Korea doesn't have, and he will never finish reading them all his life.

On this day, I bought some fresh lychees to go to his dormitory and eat with him. Because there is no litchi in Korea, my husband took out his dictionary and studied the word well. I took this time to wash my hands.

when I came back, I saw his expression was painful. There was a litchi stone on the table, but there was no litchi shell. I immediately understood what was going on and laughed wildly. He said gloomily, "This thing tastes really strange."

However, after I patiently taught him, he fell madly in love with litchi and refused to stop eating until he had a nosebleed. After all, this good thing can't be bought in Korea if he wants to.

My husband went to Australia to study for three years after graduating from college. But after N years in China, I have basically forgotten English and changed to speak Chinese.

When I was in the Korean Language Institute, most of my classmates were Westerners and Japanese, and I was the only one from China. Once, my husband came to pick me up after class, and happened to meet my classmates and invited them to dinner, so he followed. During the dinner, everyone talked in English. Students asked how we met, and my husband said in a classic way:

"Wemetin that university,she that teachme that Chinese."

My classmates looked at each other, and I didn't know why.

My husband's attitude towards the Japanese is the same as mine, both admiring their civilization and hating their government's attitude towards history.

once, I was looking at photos of beautiful women on the internet (hehe, sorry, personal hobby). I found a temperament beauty, so I asked my husband to see it.

The husband said, "Yes, it's beautiful. Are you from Sichuan?"

I said, "It seems to be Korean."

He immediately said, "The nose is fake."

Later, I saw that the following explanation was a Japanese MM

and my husband said, "Throw away the computer."

waterfall sweat-_-; ; ; ;

For a while, Louis Koo, an anthomaniac, put his picture on the desktop of his computer. My husband was jealous and came to protest, but it was fruitless. So, he changed his work notebook desktop to Gianna Jun's photo, but I didn't respond.

after ten minutes, he came to me again with a notebook. I found that this time it was a photo of Britney Spears, and I continued to be unresponsive.

after another ten minutes, he deliberately harassed me with a notebook again. When I saw it, it was actually a photo of a pig, so I said, "This is the best for you."

He proudly said, "Yes, because I thought of you when I saw it."

So, there was another beating, but after the beating, I also changed my computer desktop to a photo of a pig. Hehe, pigs have to be paired.

Every family has its own problems, and life has its ups and downs. I have a strong personality, so it is inevitable to quarrel with my husband.

Every time we quarrel to the climax, he and I can't help jumping out of our hometown dialect. I scold you in Zhejiang dialect: "Be careful!" ! I thought my nest was a female silver who was easy to bully ... "He was so angry that he said in Busan dialect," $ $% $ # $ #% $ *%&; * ..... "

At the end of the quarrel, we all scolded each other, as if we were singing opera, and we couldn't help laughing and automatically reconciled ~~

So my husband always said that the biggest advantage of finding a foreign wife is that when we quarrel, we can't understand the ugly words and won't be sad ~~

On TV, Korean male stars are very muscular, which is the result of their exercise. I looked at my husband's white fat belly and couldn't help sighing: "Look at you, you are all fat and don't exercise. It's outrageous!" "

My husband said with a look of grievance, "Do I exercise every day?"

I was surprised: "Huh? What kind of exercise? "

He solemnly said," Breathing exercise. "

another beating.

Korean men love to drink, which is one of the things I hate most. So before we got married, I made a pact with him. In the future, no drinking is allowed unless there are special circumstances, otherwise bye-bye. My husband actually gave up drinking under my intimidation and inducement.

On the wedding day, there was a ceremony in which the couple drank a toast, a bottle of champagne (I forgot the brand, didn't it?)? ）。 We gulped it down amid everyone's applause. My husband said to the MC with a deep aftertaste, "This wine tastes really good. Can I have another drink?"

I once quarreled with my husband about a trivial matter. Usually, if I ignore him, he will definitely come and coax me in ten minutes. But this day, he also ignored me, and as a result, I was angry. So I turned on my computer and wrote him an E-MAIL, which said, You don't love me at all. Let's get a divorce. The most annoying person in the world is you … and so on.

it's a vent.

Not long after that, we made up again. I remembered the letter I wrote when I was angry, so I went into his mailbox and deleted the unread email.

The next night, my husband came home and said to me dejectedly, "I saw your letter. Why do you want to divorce me?"

I was surprised, so I asked, "I deleted that letter. How could you still see it?"

He touched my head and pretended to say deeply, "Because your brain is made of stone, you forgot to clean the bucket."

when I first bought the stock, I always wavered and didn't know when to sell it.

So I habitually asked my husband.

"Honey, it went up a little today. It looks like it's going to fall. Do you want to throw it away?"

My husband was reading a novel and said "Throw it away" without looking back.

As a result, my husband was kicked by me.

Later, "Honey, it seems to be rising very fast today. Do you want to throw it away?"

The husband thought about it and said, "Let it be."

as a result, it plummeted afterwards.

it's another beating.

Later, "Husband, I bought this stock today ..."

Before I finished, my husband opened the closet door and hid in: "Don't hit me!"

when I am angry, I often scold him: you useless thing!

On one occasion, it was shown on TV that a medical association in the United States shipped medical services to China to make money.

I said, "Hum! Foreign * *! "

My husband asked," What is foreign? ""

I said, "It's useless things that come in from foreign countries."

My husband blinked and said, "Are you talking about me? "

Later, we continued to watch TV and put on a program to defend the rights of migrant workers.

He asked," What are migrant workers? "

I said," It's people who come to Hangzhou from other cities to work. "

My husband said happily," Then I'm a foreign migrant worker! "

I smiled and said," Exactly! "

My pet phrase is:" It's not normal ... "For example, when I come back from work, I will say:" Today is not normal. " Sometimes when I praise my husband's cooking, I will say, "It's not just delicious."

once I had a good friend come to my house to play, and I talked about the problem of losing weight that women often talk about.

my good friend said, "I've gained a lot of weight recently."

My husband blurted out, "Not just fat."

later, after my husband's profound review and my repeated explanation, my friend lost his temper.

I visited my grandmother once. My husband and grandmother watched TV together. My grandmother is 86 years old.

TV shows a person playing a bowling ball, and then gives a close-up of the ball.

Grandma said, "Wow, what a big watermelon."

My husband said, "Grandma, this is a bowling ball."

Grandma asked, "What is a bowling ball?"

He said, "The bowling ball is, the big ... round ... to play at the bowling court ..." Looking at grandma's inexplicable eyes, he finally said, "well, this is a watermelon!" "

after the marriage registration, my husband went to my house. Before going, he asked me what my wife's mother should be called in China. I said, it should be called mother-in-law or mother-in-law. He nodded and said, I remember.

So when I got home at night, my husband saw my mother and said with a big smile, "Good mother-in-law! "

Mom looked embarrassed, and I was just about to correct him when he bowed to my father again and said with great enthusiasm," Good mother-in-law! "

No wonder my mother always said that this child is all right but a little silly.

Similar mistakes also occurred in the usage of" wife "and" old woman ".

Once I went shopping with my friend and went back late, I sent him a short message. As a result, a minute later, I received a reply from my husband:

" Old woman, I will wait for you at home. "

So I replied," Old man, you can have dinner alone. The old woman has bad teeth and is eating porridge outside. "

In South Korea, if a man has thick hair, it will be called sexy, which is a compliment.

Once, my mother-in-law came to China to play and stayed at my house. At the weekend, my cousin had just returned from studying in Singapore. I thought it was pretty good. After my mother-in-law saw it, she pointed to my cousin and said a few words to her husband. My cousin happened to see it and asked him jokingly, what did my mother-in-law say?

As a result, my husband said loudly, "Mom says you are a hairy young man, very handsome! "

Everyone burst out laughing, and my cousin got another nickname from now on.

My husband is not a romantic. I often say that he is not romantic enough, and he is not convinced.

One weekend, we went shopping, and my husband said, Wait, I'll be right back.

After a while, I saw him holding a handful of yellow roses. "

He opened his eyes in surprise:" Really? But I'm color blind! "

I once met a little beggar by the West Lake, pulling us for money.

So my husband took out a one-dollar coin from his trouser pocket and gave it to him. Later, I took two steps, and then I met a little beggar, pestering us for money. My husband said to him with a smile," Wait a minute ~ "and then returned to the first little beggar just now. I was surprised, only to hear him say,". !

My father-in-law died early, and it was very hard for my mother-in-law to bring up three children by herself, so my husband and I respected her very much.

My mother-in-law is a traditional woman, and she thinks that women should devote themselves to being housewives after marriage. Unfortunately, I was spoiled at home, and my husband took care of me because I couldn't do a lot of housework. So once my mother-in-law came to visit our Busan home from Ulsan, and we specially bought some ready-made ones from outside.