Who has a humorous joke?

once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his family's fields, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He had to give him a chicken first.

At the end of the year, a tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord and rent the fields in the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and told the landlord about the first time after paying the rent. Immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied, "Just now, that sentence was' nonsense (chicken talk)'."

Here's the ear.

The new magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he wants to hang up, he said to his master, "Buy me two bamboo poles."

The master put the Shandong accent. "

The shopkeeper is a clever man, and he understood it immediately. He immediately cut off two pig livers and presented a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the touts thought," My master told me to buy pig livers, and of course these pig ears are mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pockets. When he returned to the county government, he reported back to the magistrate of a county. "

When the magistrate saw that the touts bought pig liver, he said angrily," Where are your ears? "Hearing this, the touts turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied:" Ear … ear … here … in my … my pocket! "

There is an opportunity

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to go by plane, so he sent a telegram to the manager for fear that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement:" There is an opportunity, take it or not. "The manager thought it was the opportunity to clinch a deal and immediately called back:" Take it if you can. "

I don't agree to reimburse the plane ticket fee. The salesman took out the manager's reply, and the manager was dumbfounded.

About the place name

On New Year's Eve, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner, one of whom was cheerful and the other was shy.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us that he was from Myanmar, so he was shy. "Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone. Then he said, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster was angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said, "Those in charge of directors' business are not sensible; Being unconscious in charge of personnel management; As an officer, I don't do it! "

Meeting in the countryside

A meeting was held in a village. Because of homophonic, the village head said," Rabbits and shrimps, don't paste melons. Pickled vegetables are too expensive. "(Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Now the meeting is over.) The host said," Sausage paste melons are invited for pickles. "(Now the head of the village says.

Husband: Honey, what did you do this morning?

wife: honey, I am cleaning at home this morning.

Husband: Oh! What a good wife! That-testicles?

wife: ah ...?

(2) Appearing

My husband doesn't often surf the Internet. When he came across a female classmate online in junior high school, he happily sent a message: "Are you there?"

The female classmate happened to have something to leave and didn't reply for a long time.

My husband was a little impatient, so he hurriedly typed out a line and sent it: "What took you so long? Dedicate yourself quickly! "

The female classmate was originally simple. Suddenly she saw her husband's message, but she didn't read it clearly, so she ran over and replied, "I'm coming! Wait for it! "

(3) Find a friend in an Internet cafe

for a business trip, and say that we will meet online at 3 pm when we leave.

I waited left and right, and finally arrived.

Before I could speak, I saw a message from there: "It's really difficult to recruit a tortoise!"

I didn't react for a moment: "What?"

friends laughed; "It's hard to find an Internet cafe!"