Three-person sketch 1~3 minutes, the shorter the better! ! ! Keep it simple! ! !

The bride and groom are in the scenic spot.

The groom said, wife, it's a beautiful day today.

The bride said: it doesn't matter whether the weather is good or not, what matters is that my husband is with me.

The beggar appeared and said, hello, ladies and gentlemen. Would you please give me some money?

The bride said, you beggar, you really don't know where you are! We were talking excitedly when we ran out and interrupted.

The beggar said, miss, you pay quickly, and I will disappear at once.

The bride said: Husband, take out fifty cents and let him go!

The beggar said, what, fifty cents! It is not enough for me to buy a hamburger at McDonald's. Minimum consumption per person 10 yuan!

The bride and groom said at the same time: What! Minimum consumption 10 yuan!

Beggars said: Gentlemen, give money quickly. As soon as I give money, I will disappear. You go on (imitating the groom). "The weather is really good today." .

The groom said, forget it, don't argue with him. After paying the money, can you leave us alone?

The beggar said: Of course not. Come on. Ten dollars per person, a total of * * * thirty dollars. Give it quickly.

The groom said, one, two, no, you are mistaken. Ten dollars for one person, and it should be twenty dollars for the two of us.

The beggar said, you are so ugly, add another ten dollars!

The groom said: What! You called me ugly! I am ugly! Honey, he called me ugly! I'm ... No, I'm ugly. What is money?

The beggar said, I feel sick at the sight of you, and my stomach hurts. This ten yuan is used to buy painkillers.

The bride said, give it to him and let him go! This kind of person has nothing to say.

The groom said: I only heard that people are easy to be cheated, but I didn't expect one more thing: ugly people are cheated.

The groom gave the money to the beggar.

The beggar said, thank you very much. Bye.

The groom said, wife, I'll buy you a drink.

The groom looked around and said, I don't know where to sell it.

The beggar said, you want to buy water, right? Go straight from here and turn right at the second crossing. There is a small shop about 100 meters away.

The groom said: thank you, I see, thank you.

The beggar said, you're welcome. Consulting fee, 20 yuan.

The bride and groom said: What! 20 bucks!

The beggar said, yes. My cousin is a lawyer. He charges 200 yuan per minute. My consulting fee is only 20 yuan. I have already given you a discount.

The groom said, I ... forget it, I admit it today.

The groom gave him money.

The bride and groom are together.

The groom said, wife, time flies. Time flies with you.

The bride said, honey, I am so happy to be with you.

The beggar appeared again and said, gentlemen, give me some money.

The bride and groom said: What!

The bride said: We have given it once today.

The beggar said: I am reasonable. Here, every time I give alms, it's per person 10 yuan, valid for 4 hours. It's just been four hours now, and I accept it for the second time.

The bride and groom said: What! Validity period?

The beggar said, of course, the validity period is needed. Did you give me money once today for life? After ten years and eight years, can't I ask you for money again?

The bride said, you are a robber!

The beggar said, wrong. Even the thief is Grand Theft Auto.

The groom said, hey, 30 yuan?

The beggar said, Wrong, 60 yuan.

The bride and groom said: What! 60 bucks!

The beggar said: I get off work at five o'clock every afternoon on time, and now it's half past five, which belongs to overtime. Employees in nearby factories earn twice as much at night as during the day. I also refer to the practices of other industries and increase them appropriately. I won't mess around.

The bride said, honey, I won't give it to him this time!

The groom said, yes, see what you do.

The beggar said, really?

Beggars murmured: husband and wife are birds of a feather, and when disaster strikes, they fly separately! Spring can't shut the garden, an apricot comes out of the wall! Strange strange bedfellows! A broken mirror is hard to round! Heartbroken, sentimental woman since ancient times! Now the ungrateful woman is infatuated! ......

The groom said, stop ... I'm afraid of you. I'll give it.

After giving the money, the bride said, honey, we are so miserable, whoops … ..

The groom said, honey, don't cry. Here, I'll get you some tissues.

The groom touched it but couldn't find it. He said, come on, let's buy a pack of tissues.

The beggar said, I want to buy paper towels, right? Go down here, at ... ..

The groom said, stop! Don't say that. I didn't ask you. Honey, let's go.

The groom took the bride a few steps, turned to the beggar and said, stop it. Calm down. Don't say anything.

The beggar said: Go down from here, at the second intersection. ...

The groom and the bride ran together and shouted, La La ... I didn't hear anything.

The bride and groom walked out of the bank. They happened to meet beggars.

The beggar said, hi, hi. Hello. Haven't seen you for a long time.

The bride and groom are frightened: it's you again!

The groom said, why are you pestering us?

The bride said: Husband, leave him alone this time! He dares to beg for money. Call the police and arrest him now!

The groom said, yes!

The beggar said, don't get me wrong.

He patted his bulging bag and said, I'm here to save money.

The bride and groom said, ah!

The beggar said, "Thanks to a generous person like you, I have earned enough money to wash my hands of it." I plan to start a small business.

The groom said, what, business?

The beggar said: Yes. Hey hey. By the way, I'm getting married tomorrow. I will hold a banquet in the beggar's restaurant. Let's get to know each other and have a wedding. I will invite you.

The bride and groom looked at each other, and the groom said, treat us to a wedding banquet. Sounds like a good idea.

The beggar said, then remember, don't be late. Also, remember to bring a red envelope. The minimum consumption is 800 per person.

The bride and groom said, ah!

Comic sketch script psychosis

People: Doctor, anthomaniac (female), Jacky Cheung idiot (male), mental derangement (male).

The doctor introduced himself:

I am a doctor in a mental hospital. Recently, I heard that my superiors will come to our hospital for examination. The dean asked me to check the situation of these mental patients. (After that, sit down and turn over the medical records to call the roll) Patient 1, Patient 1.

The anthomaniac appeared, kept reading in his mouth, with dementia in his eyes and flowers in his hand: Do you love me? Do you love me? Don't you love me anymore? (Then say to the empty space or people) Don't you love me? Don't you love me anymore? Do you really not love me? You are really getting more and more handsome, getting taller and bigger, getting more and more handsome. (Then pretend to hug in an empty place)

When the anthomaniac kept talking, the doctor said to the audience, look at this poor girl. /kloc was raped at the age of 0/6, and/kloc was abandoned by her boyfriend at the age of 0/8. (The girl pretends to hug and immediately pulls the girl to her side and says) Come on, give me an injection.

Anthomaniac: (to the doctor) Don't you love me anymore? Do you really not love me?

Doctor: I love you. Why don't I love you? Shot her in the ass when she wasn't looking.

Anthomaniac: (pretending to cry in pain) Ah! (Then his expression suddenly became a little enchanting and kept shouting) Ah! That's cool!

Doctor: 1, you can rest.

The anthomaniac continued, don't you love me? Don't you love me anymore? Do you really not love me?

Doctor: I love you. I love you. Go ahead, have a rest. Oh, what a good girl, what a pity to become like this. Ok, let's see how number two looks. Second, second.

When Zhang Chi appeared, the music "My hair is messed up" sounded, and Zhang Chi danced for a while (frantically), and the music stopped as soon as the modeling started.

Doctor: Patient 2, Patient 2. (Touching him with his hand)

Zhang Chi: Don't touch me. I'm Jacky Cheung, a celebrity. Who are you?

Doctor: Hey! You see, Patient No.2 is a fan of Jacky Cheung, so obsessed with Jacky Cheung. (In a coaxing and cheating tone) Brother Jacky Cheung, Brother Jacky Cheung.

Zhang Chi looked at the audience and the doctor happily: What did you call me? You call me Jacky Cheung, you call me Jacky Cheung and I am Jacky Cheung?

Doctor: Yes, you are Jacky Cheung.

Zhang Chi: How did you know I was Jacky Cheung?

Doctor: I'm a fan of yours.

Jacky Cheung: Are you a fan of mine?

Doctor: Yes, I am a fan of yours, not only me, but also many fans. Besides, I know you will have a concert tomorrow. Here, I'll give you an injection.

Zhang Chi: What? Do you want to give me an injection?

Doctor: Yes, an injection.

Zhang Chi: What injection?

Doctor: Play the golden voice and treasure, and then you can have a successful concert (loudly).

Zhang Chi ran around and shouted, "I want a golden voice, a golden voice." ...

The doctor shouted to give him an injection in the back, and then said, Brother Zhang, you are going to have a concert tomorrow. Go down and prepare.

Zhang Chi: I'm ready, then I'm ready.

Doctor: Yes, get ready.

Zhang Chi: Don't forget to come to my concert tomorrow.

Doctor: I won't forget it. I will definitely come.

Zhang Chi: I went, so I'm ready. (End)

Doctor: Oh, what a nice young man, so fascinated. Let's look at number three again. Number three, number three.

On the 3rd, he walked off the stage and faced the audience: Shh, Li * * wants to go too far. Don't tell anyone that you know me. (takes two steps to the other audience) Shh, Clinden has been calling me from tomorrow until last night. Don't tell anyone, you know me.

At this moment, the doctor said to the audience, Look, this used to be a college student. Somehow, he wants to be an official and become like this. Patient number three, patient number three.

No.3 to the doctor: Shh!

The doctor also pointed to number 3: shh! (Two people face to face)

Number three: You know what I know. Don't tell anyone. You know what I know. (to another guest) You know what I know. Don't tell anyone.

The doctor said: I won't tell anyone ... I won't tell anyone ... (Pick up the boos in the mouth of No.3, and the doctor will say it quickly) Go down and rest on the 3rd.

No.3 mouth said again: you know me. (Speaking off the stage)

Doctor: Well, a college student becomes like this. Ah, it's getting late. The superior will be here soon. Call all three patients out quickly and see what happens after the injection. 1, 2,3 are all out, 1, 2,3 are all out.

At this time 1 kept chanting, and came out: Don't you love me?

Number two came out screaming.

Number three: shh, you know me, shh. ...

At this time, the doctor realized that something was wrong. He picked up the needle and was surprised. He shouted, oh, no, the needle is wrong. This is a stimulant.

1, 2,3 Stop at the same time and look at the doctor angrily: You give us stimulants. (Rushing to hit the doctor)

The doctor was beaten to his knees and then stood up with a loud cry, as if he were crazy. Four people walked in four steps at the same time, shouting, I'm crazy, I'm crazy.

Then 1, 2, 3 pointed to the doctor and said, you are the mental derangement!