Don't tell jokes, listen to jokes.

One day, Xiaoming took tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries to the streets. At the crossroads, tomatoes were run over by a car. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Ketchup! " At another intersection, the watermelon was hit. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Watermelon juice! " At the third intersection, Xiao Ming was run over by a car. Strawberry said, "Ha ha ha! Scum! "

Ten years later, we met again inadvertently. She asked me in a low voice, "How have you been these years?" She is very kind to you. "I'm sad," I said, "I'm not married, and I've been waiting for you. "Her eyes were red, and she said," Come to the guest house at seven o'clock in the evening. "On the night of Qixi, the moon was like a hook. I arrived at the hotel half an hour early with flowers in my hand. She welcomed me in, greeted me to sit down, and asked faintly, "Have you heard of Amway? " ……

"Do you like me?" "You guess." "I like it!" "You guess again."

Today, I picked a mobile phone and wanted to return it to the owner, so I found a number in his mobile phone and called it (the owner's sister). After the other party connected, he said, what's the matter, brother? I said, are you the sister of the owner of this mobile phone? I found your brother's cell phone! She listened and said, oh, wait a minute. Then I hung up. In about a minute. The phone rang, and as soon as I answered it, I heard that the other person was a woman and said, Brother, you found your mobile phone!

This year, the Chinese composition of the college entrance examination in Hunan Province is "early". Everyone came out of the examination room and talked about it. Suddenly, a man exclaimed, "Early? Isn't it drought? Collapse ... "

A boy jumped from a building in a university, and after successfully showing his death, he sorted out his relics. The last message he received on his mobile phone was: Husband, it seems that someone jumped off the building, so go and see it quickly.

The taxi got on the radio and said, "Hello everyone! Please invite a guest today, please welcome Christine and Christine! " The driver said … MD, now you can stutter and be a radio DJ!

A student jumped to his death in Guangzhou University Town this morning. The reporter just came back from an interview. He fell downstairs and died because he was looking for a job, partying and drinking too much. The reporter asked where the contract was signed, and he said it was Shenzhen Foxconn!

I was so thirsty that I went to the grocery store and bought a bottle of iced black tea. Half drunk and found it was fake. I already drank it, and I didn't say anything. Look at the bottle cap and have another bottle. Tell the boss at once that he won the lottery and send another bottle. The boss said quietly, look carefully. Let me see, fuck, buy another bottle.