Zengzi’s method of educating children

Zengzi, whose name is Shen (shen Yinping) and whose courtesy name is Ziyu. At the end of the Spring and Autumn Period, he was born in Nanwucheng (now Feixian County, Shandong Province) of the State of Lu. He is a student of Confucius, a great sage in ancient times. So what is Zengzi’s method of educating children? Below I have collected information about Zengzi’s method of educating children. I hope it will be helpful to you!

Zengzi’s method of educating children

< p> "Han Feizi. Wai Chu Shuo Upper Left" once recorded a touching story of Zengzi who killed a pig to teach his son, which has been praised by the world.

One day, Zengzi’s wife finished her housework and was going to go shopping on the street. My youngest son, who is three or four years old, will also go with me. The mother refused to let her go for fear of trouble, and her son kept pestering her. There was really nothing I could do, so I had an idea and coaxed him and said: "Be obedient and play at home." When I come back, I will kill our big pig and make stew for you. Okay?

As soon as the youngest son heard that he wanted to eat stew, he immediately stopped crying and asked seriously: "Is this true?

The mother pretended to be serious. He nodded. The younger son immediately burst into laughter and went off to play again.

Zengzi was a thoughtful person who taught his children. Zengzi saw the conversation between mother and son just now. Zengzi knew that his wife was coaxing the child and did not really want to kill the big fat pig. At that time, I wanted to step forward to stop him, but it was too late. The words had already been spoken, and it would be difficult to stop them. What should we do?

Zengzi’s wife came back from the street happily. As soon as she entered the house, she was shocked by what she saw: Zengzi tied up the big fat pig at home with a rope, and there was a sharp butcher's knife beside him. The big pig struggled and roared hard, which was quite scary. What? He really wanted to kill the pig? The wife hurriedly stepped forward to stop him and said:

? You are crazy! I just said that because I asked my son to pester me so much that I couldn't help it. That was a joke. Why did you coax him? Why did you take it seriously?

Zeng Zi said to his wife seriously:

I know you are following The son was joking, but he didn't actually intend to kill the pig. However, have you ever thought about it, children are not very sensible yet and will only learn and do what their parents do. Today, you did not keep your words, did not do what you promised, and deceived your children. This is actually equivalent to teaching your children to tell lies and deceive others. If a mother deceives her son, the son will feel that the mother's words are not credible. If you educate her in the future, it will be difficult for him to believe your words. How can we educate our children well by doing this?

After hearing this, the wife felt that everything her husband said was reasonable. She admires her husband for keeping his word, being true to his words, consistent with his words and deeds, and cultivating his children's honesty with a sincere attitude. She blamed herself deeply and stopped trying to stop her husband, so as to avoid the negative impact on the children's soul. Although the price paid is not small, it is worth it.

This story has been circulated in China for thousands of times, and it is enduring and thought-provoking.

Zengzi? Killing pigs? is a way to educate children to kill two birds with one stone

Children are not only in a state of ignorance in terms of intelligence, but also in a state of ignorance in terms of morality, right and wrong, good and good He cannot distinguish between evil, beauty and ugliness, and his ability to distinguish is very poor. He is easily influenced by the outside world, especially the influence of his parents. Parents are the first adults that children come into contact with. They get along day and night and are inseparable. They are also the most prestigious and trustworthy people in their minds. Children believe whatever their parents say; they learn whatever their parents do without any distortion.

The younger the children are, the more they admire their parents. In their view, their parents' words and deeds are the most standard norms of thought and behavior. In the eyes of children, father is the best father and mother is the best mother. How to treat people and how to deal with things should be modeled by parents.

As parents, if you do not strictly monitor your words and deeds at all times, any bad words or deeds, even a little negligence, may unintentionally have a negative impact on your children. . Once adverse effects occur, since children always have the first impression, the first-obtained knowledge is difficult to erase from the child's young mind, and other different knowledges are excluded based on this. Therefore, ancient Chinese people paid special attention to exposing children to positive images, and never deceive children with deceptive words.

When his son was young, Zengzi paid special attention to the impact of his parents' words and deeds on their children, and tried hard to be "cautious in words and cautious in deeds", which reflected his strong sense of education. In his opinion, there is no small matter in children's education. When getting along with children and when dealing with issues related to children, all words and deeds of parents must be absolutely subject to the children's education.

In front of children, parents belong to their children. Everything must be beneficial to the physical and mental development of children. Children must not be harmed at will, and children's pure and beautiful hearts must not be polluted or poisoned.

The reason why the story of Zengzi killing pigs to educate his children has been passed down from generation to generation and has endured for a long time is because Zengzi’s move of killing pigs was to kill two birds with one stone: he not only educated his children with practical actions, but also educated his children with practical actions. He also educated his wife.

?The child is raised upright and performs the work of a saint. ?Be cautious.

Some people may think: Why should we be so serious about children? Children are likely to forget what their parents promise. This is a sign of lack of educational awareness.

Under normal circumstances, children will not easily forget anything their parents have promised out of trust in their parents. In many cases, children pay a "price" in order to win their parents' commitment. For example, Zengzi's youngest son in the story originally wanted to go to the streets with his mother, but in order to win his mother's promise to kill pigs for him to eat, he gave up his request and restrained his desire. He made A "sacrifice". If parents do not keep their word and do not fulfill their promises, children will think that lying and deceiving are allowed, and they will most likely learn to lie and deceive like their parents.

Parents must understand that if they fail to keep their word once and do not keep their words, even if they use "integrity" ten times, it will be difficult to restore the lost "prestige". To re-establish prestige and gain the trust of children requires a huge effort. If you want your children to be honest, you must be honest first. People who are dishonest cannot raise honest children. Parents must be cautious in front of their children.

In the seventeenth century, the British educator Locke made this clear statement at the beginning of his book "Educational Essays":

What we gain when we are young The impression, even if it is very small, so small that it is almost imperceptible, has a great and long-lasting impact; just like the source of a river, the water is very soft, and a little human power can guide it into other ways and change the direction of the river. Fundamental change, if we guide it from the root, the river will have a different trend, and finally flow to a very distant place. ?

Locke’s metaphor is very appropriate, profound and thought-provoking. ?A slight difference can make a huge difference?? There are extremely slight deviations in the direction of childhood education, which will cause serious consequences.

The ancient Chinese said: "Children are nurtured and upright, and they perform the work of saints." ?In this sense. Children's early enlightenment education must be carried out carefully and not taken lightly.