Industry humor jokes

1. A couple questioned a store manager and said, "Last week, we bought an ivory box here, which was identified as fake ivory." The manager said: "Under the current scientific and technological conditions, it is also very possible for elephants to install dentures."

In the jewelry store, the salesman suggested to a man to buy a necklace worth 20 thousand yuan for his wife. The salesman said, "In that case, I promise you will give her an unexpected surprise." The man thinks 20 thousand yuan is too expensive. He looked at other samples and asked, "What if I give this fake necklace from 200 yuan?" The salesman replied, "that is, there are only accidents and no surprises."

3. A poet is walking in the wild. In the sun, he suddenly saw a sign hidden in the Woods, and the four characters were particularly eye-catching, "Sunshine does not rust". The poet froze on the spot, thinking, what a meaningful word this is, which is definitely not what ordinary people can think of. So he went over and wanted to visit the tall man. Approaching the sign, I found the words "Steel Products Factory" written behind the sign, which was blocked by a tree.

Two military academy freshmen stood at the gate of the military goods store, and a beautiful female officer came face to face. They stared at her intently and no one noticed her ranking. The female official said, "Why don't you salute when you see the leader? Didn't you see my epaulettes? " "Sir, we haven't seen it yet."

5. "Master, I gave you a few massages, and the patient ran away." "It doesn't matter. If I teach you a few more hands, the patient won't run away."

6. A real estate market is open, and real estate developers have made a big advertisement to attract the public, which reads: no house, no wife. At the end of the year, the real estate industry association awarded "the most honest real estate developer".

7. "This is a face-looking industry." "Does our industry also discriminate against looks?" "No, look at Party A's face". I have a friend who works in engineering. He killed himself when he was exhausted.

8. "When I return to the stock market, I will divorce you." He said vaguely. After listening to her words, her heart was warm, and she felt that this might be the happiest love. -2065 438+08 is the best. "When the house price falls, I will buy a house to marry you." He said enthusiastically. Hearing this, her heart was bitter, and she felt that this might be the most violent breakup. -20 18 Best Mininovel Candidate.

9. The agent called to ask Big Brother if he wanted to buy a house. House prices will soar. If you don't buy it, you won't have this price! I said I already bought it. He also said, eldest brother, you want to sell the house, and now the price is not bad, it is at a high level, and there will never be this price again! Three life fantasies: ta still loves you, stocks will rise, and house prices will fall.

10, the first part: "Silly", "Silly" bought, "Silly" earned hundreds of thousands; Bottom line: "smart" calculation, "smart" look, "smart" a year is in vain. I believe I will buy it, but I don't believe in myself.

1 1 The reporter interviewed passers-by in Shenzhen. Reporter: If you have 5 million yuan, how do you plan to spend it? Passerby: I paid the mortgage first. . . Reporter: What about the rest? Passerby: Pay back the rest slowly. . .

12, a real estate market opened, and real estate developers made a big advertisement to attract the public, which read: no house, no wife. At the end of the year, the real estate industry association awarded "the most honest real estate developer".

13, the couple worked hard, then bought a villa with sea view, and went out early and returned late every day. Then the most important thing for their nanny every day is to watch the sea and have coffee with the dog on the balcony.

14, Q: Besides reading books and exercising crazily, is there any effective and good way to get out of the trough quickly? A: Go home and see the white hair on my parents' heads. Go out and check the deposit and ask the price online.

15, China has a topic that can win the Nobel Prize in Economics: nearly half of the listed companies have insufficient profits to buy luxury houses in Beijing, Shanghai and Shenzhen, but selling 1% shares is enough to buy several villas. Please explain the real estate market and the stock market. Which bubble is bigger?