"Daughter-in-law, a woman's life is hard. After getting married, she should serve everyone in her husband's family!" My mother-in-law said this, what should I do?

Marriage is something that every family has a hard time reciting, and some people have a particularly hard time reciting the "marriage" scripture.

A marriage will be relatively easy if the couple truly loves each other, has an emotional and material foundation, and their families are harmonious.

If the above conditions are not met, then marriage will be very tiring, because you have to deal with all kinds of relationships, not just the relationship between husband and wife, but also the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, relatives, neighbors and so on. relation.

A friend said to me after getting married, "If nothing else, just the trivial matters that parents have in common can make people physically and mentally exhausted. If I had known that marriage was so cumbersome, I would definitely have chosen not to get married."

This is the current situation of many marriages. Some people get divorced because they can't stand it anymore, but many of those who haven't divorced are gritting their teeth and persisting.

This is not to badmouth marriage, but to talk about the fact of marriage. Men and women will feel more or less tired after getting married. Those who can persevere are responsible people, of course because there are no major problems in the marriage.

The woman below is the same as my friend. After getting married, she was tortured physically and mentally by the trivial matters of her parents. She originally wanted to persist, but in the end she chose to divorce because she and her mother-in-law had different views on marriage.

"A woman's life is hard. After getting married, she should serve everyone in her husband's family!"

Before she married A Gang, Lingzi had great expectations for marriage. She wanted to marry for love. I want to find a suitable person to fall in love with first, and then get married when the time is right.

However, she did not marry for love as she wished. As she got older, her family pushed her to get married like crazy and kept arranging blind dates for her. Finally, she lost her temper after being tortured, so she gave in.

She felt pretty good about going on a blind date with A Gang. Of course, it's only good compared to the men I've been on blind dates with before. The reason why she married A Gang was because she really didn't want to go on blind dates anymore. She was fed up with it. She was frustrated after failed blind dates again and again, and she also had to endure the criticism of others. So she thought about it and just found someone who was similar to get married. Otherwise, it would be too annoying to go on blind dates all the time and her life would be a mess.

In fact, the more irritable people are, the more chaotic their lives are, the less they should make impulsive decisions. Otherwise, not only will they be blind, but they will usually regret it after making the decision, especially It's a big thing like getting married.

Lingzi couldn't care so much at the time and just wanted to get married as soon as possible. As a result, the marriage was completed, but after getting married, I found that not only was it not the marriage I wanted, but it was also far different.

After getting married, not only did her husband's family treat her as an outsider, but she also felt like an "outsider", very restrained, as if she was living in someone else's home.

She didn’t want to be laughed at when she got married, so she tried hard to play the role of a good wife and daughter-in-law. She did all the work at home and obeyed no matter what her husband’s family told her to do.

She thought she could slowly integrate into the family in this way, but the feeling of strangeness and distance could never be eliminated. Apart from anything else, even if you rent a house, you will feel uncomfortable if you encounter a troublesome landlord, let alone marrying into your husband's family and living with them all the time!

Lingzi was awkward, aggrieved, and depressed from beginning to end. She always wanted to escape alone to a place where no one knew her and be quiet. But she couldn't escape. Already married, already a wife, already a daughter-in-law, she can escape when she dreams, but when she wakes up, she still has to face reality.

When she couldn't bear to bring out some emotions, her mother-in-law began to preach to her, saying, "Daughter-in-law, a woman's life is hard. After getting married, she should serve everyone in her husband's family! Mother-in-law, this is how I came here. You If you can't take good care of your husband's family, you can't be considered a qualified daughter-in-law."

Lingzi wanted to shout, "I can't do it," but she didn't shout, just listened silently, and continued to swallow her anger.

“I really can’t stand my mother-in-law’s concept of marriage!”

The kind of marriage she experienced seems to be nothing when we write about it now, but for the parties involved, I feel bad. Any woman who has experienced this kind of marriage knows what a torturous life it is: the people around her are strangers, and they are all bullying her, and she has to endure to serve them.

This is obviously not the life a woman wants after marriage.

When she couldn't bear it anymore, Lingzi told her husband A Gang about her grievances. Relatively speaking, she and A Gang are relatively familiar with each other. After all, they are husband and wife. She thought A Gang would understand her, sympathize with her feelings, and change the status quo of her marriage. But in the end, A Gang's words disappointed her.

She told A Gang, "Husband, I really can't stand my mother-in-law's concept of marriage!"

A Gang replied, "Then let's divorce! My mother-in-law's marriage You can't stand the concept, so how can you stay in this house? My mother is here, and everything she says and does is for your own good and for the good of our marriage. It's okay if you don't appreciate it, and you still say you can't bear it. No. What can you bear? Let my mother serve you and clothe you every day?"

There is a saying that is "the straw that breaks the camel's back". A Gang's words had such an effect.

Lingzi herself was on the verge of collapse. She wanted to get comfort and salvation from A Gang, but he ended up accusing her. The result can be imagined. Reiko collapsed and felt that she could no longer stay in their home and there was no place for her at all.

At this time, she realized what we said earlier, "You should not make impulsive decisions when you are irritable." She regretted compromising her marriage and regretted marrying A Gang.

Her husband's family is all virtuous. She knows that she is weak and it is impossible for her husband's family to change. And she herself had swallowed her anger and lowered her voice to the dust, but she was still being bullied. Then there is no other way out but divorce.

Other women will worry about this and that when they get divorced, but she has no worries at all. She feels that no matter how bad her life is after the divorce, it will be better than living in her husband's family.

Her husband's family did not agree to the divorce at first, but later she kept making troubles and stopped accepting the situation. Her husband's family could no longer control her, so they had to accept the divorce.

After Reiko got divorced, she read many of my articles. Especially when she saw the two articles "Prepare for marriage before getting married" and "Recognize a man's family of origin", she told me, "Dong Lin, you are so right. Women should prepare for marriage before getting married." To prepare well, you should understand the man's family of origin, and you must not be blind, impulsive, or take it for granted that marriage will be happy without any prerequisites for happiness."

It's not bad that she can realize these problems through that failed marriage. Although it was a bit late, although the loss was a lot, and although the price was high, at least she was single now and had enough time to prepare before getting married again.

I hope other women can pay more attention to the issues she reflected on and don't understand that they should prepare for marriage before they get married after experiencing a failed marriage like she did. You have to be responsible for your own marriage. First of all, you have to be responsible for yourself. You have to always remember: you don't marry just to suffer. If you can always remember this, you will understand how important it is to choose a suitable man, a man who loves you, and a man with a good native family.