What are the lost jokes of China?

Cao Chuanzhong

Lu Su: "Is it really possible to borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming? "

Zhuge Liang: "Trust me."

Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ..."

Zhuge Liang: "There is no need."

Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the boat?"

Zhuge Liang: "It's a little inconvenient to say that ... Is there anything wrong?"

Lu Su: "Yes, I'm afraid the enemy is shooting rockets ..."

Zhuge Liang: "Hey! ? Amethyst, can you swim? I can't. "

2

Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. It may be a short walk away. "

Soldier: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! "

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink! "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

three

At the gate-Sima Yi: "The piano is very chaotic! Kill the city and capture Zhuge Liang alive! "

On the city-Qin Gui: "I told you not to play that sonorous rose long ago, but I didn't listen ..."

Sword boy: "Impossible, the teacher is a fan of Yi Lian ..." Zhuge Liang: "Let's leave you two in the city to die ..."

four

Zhuge Liang, the big account of China's army (wearing glasses to open the name book): "Zhang Yimou!"

Person: "..........."

Zhuge Liang (holding glasses and looking at the name book carefully): "Where is Zhang Yimou!"

Person: "..........."

Wei Yan: "Strategist ... Zhang Yide, right? It's Zhang Yide ... "Zhuge Liang:" ... "

five

Changbanpo-Cao Hong: "Look, Prime Minister! That enemy general is back! "

Xia Houdun: "Today is the seventh time. Isn't he tired?"

Cao Cao: "Damn it, I won't stop until I kill all my people!" " ! ? "

Zhao Yun, who fought in the chaotic army, said, "Zhang Fei is XXXX! Let me stay in the back, not give me the map. Where is Changbanqiao? "

six

Zhou Yu: "Born in He Shengliang-Born in He Shengliang-

Reader: "Are you kidding? As the commander-in-chief of the Dongwu armed forces, how could he say such trivial things on his deathbed? " ! "

Luo Guanzhong: "Small?"

Thus, in some lost versions of the Three Kingdoms, Zhou Yu shouted before he died-"Eighteen years later, Lao Tzu is still a hero."

seven

Wu Zhangyuan-Jiang Wei: "Teacher, I'm back! Today, I bought three pence a cart of celery and four pence five barrels of rice. ...

Huh? Why are there seven lights on in the room? Lamp oil is very expensive now, and military grain and oil subsidies do not include kerosene.

What! ? Three days and three nights! Still not going out? You can't live! ?

Wow! Look at the big one in the middle! Put it out quickly. Look, the light is already on.

Oh, by the way, what did you want to say to me just now?

Teacher, the superstar has fallen. ...

eight

The story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "I just want to hear your truth. Which one do you love more?" ! ? "

The story of diusim: "............."

Dong Zhuo: "........."

Lu Bu: "Answer me!"

Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide! I like both! "

Lu Bu: "Scum!" ! "-according to research, the first BL murder in China history occurred in the late Eastern Han Dynasty. ...

nine

Zhang Fei: "Stop, old thief!"

Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and die! "

Police car: "Listen, two thieves! You are surrounded! Lay down your arms ... "

10

Sanjiangkou-Sun Shangxiang: "It's Ding Feng and Xu Sheng's people. My brother must have sent them to kill us! What should I do, husband? "

Liu Bei: "Oh, when I left Jingzhou, the military adviser gave me three tricks, and I have already used two. Now it's time to use the third one, Zilong. Open the prompt! "

Zhao Yun: "Yes. (opens) Oh? There is a blue tights and a red cloak in it? ! "

Liu Bei: "Don't ..."

Zhao Yun: "There is another note ... if you become a superman, you can repel enemy soldiers ..."-Liu Bei returned to Jingzhou and exiled Zhuge Liang. ...