A joke suitable for a three-minute speech

Jokes suitable for a three-minute speech

Jokes suitable for a three-minute speech. Some people like to tell some jokes during the speech, and the jokes with super sense of humor can add a special color to the boring life. A three-minute humorous speech can please everyone's mood. Let's take a look at the jokes suitable for a three-minute speech. Joke 1

which is suitable for a three-minute speech is not a good topic to talk about, because everyone has a different interpretation of this topic, and besides, each of us is experiencing the real connotation of this topic, and everyone has the right to speak on the word "alive". But I still want to share my opinion, and I hope everyone can listen quietly. I'd appreciate it.

When it comes to "living", most of us first consider this question, the difference between living and death, and the two words "living" and "death" are in sharp contrast, so we can also extend this question to "why live" and "what are the benefits of living than death" (have students thought about this question?) I sum up the reasons for my living in three points:

Such as social responsibility and family responsibility. If you choose to die, it will make people around you feel sad. If I were alone, I would do many things without scruple.

But I'm not, so before I do a lot of things, I will consider caring about people around me. I think this is also the reason why I am indecisive so far. Hehe

Second, there are many benefits to being alive. For example, I can go to college, get to know my friends in college, and I can also get to know the speech teacher and my schoolmates here. You can enjoy life, pursue dreams, pursue love, and you don't have to worry about being cremated after death, and you don't have to worry about where your soul will go after death. Wait, students are free to play.

finally, it's not easy to die. Regardless of how you want to die, whether you want to wear makeup or not, what clothes to wear and so on, a series of questions are very complicated. Let's just talk about our burial after death. How expensive is the cemetery?

Take Beijing as an example, cemeteries with a total price of 4,-5, yuan are among the cheapest, while those between 1,-5, yuan are middle-class and the most expensive. The "luxury tombs" can reach millions of yuan. From the unit price.

The asking price of some cemeteries in Wan 'an Cemetery is 21. 8,/m2, exceeding the average housing price in Beijing in February by 2. Nine times that of 35,/m2. Therefore, whether it is a public welfare cemetery or a business cemetery, the price is very expensive. Living as a house slave, do you want to be a tomb slave after death?

so, if I don't die, I must live and live well. There is a sentence in If You Are the One, which I always remember vividly: People are crowded when you are alive, and people are crowded when you are dead. 2

One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily, "Just good morning? What about my afternoon? Is it not good? "

Then the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?"

The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!"

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again!"

The students shouted, "Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, teacher!"

The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say antonyms out loud. Start now. "

teacher: "the weather is fine today."

student: "the weather is very bad today."

teacher: "the sun is shining everywhere."

Student: "Clouds are gathering everywhere."

teacher: "the road is crowded with people."

student: "there is no one on the road."

teacher: "young."

student: "old."

teacher: "stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There was an old man lying on the road."

teacher: "I found a dollar."

student: "I lost one yuan."

Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."

student: "I lost one yuan to steal the teacher."

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!"

student: "correct, you should say so!" "

teacher: "error."

student: "Correct."

teacher: "that's no good, it's illegal!"

student: "it's ok, it's legal!" "

teacher: "I made a mistake."

student: "We are right."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" "

student: "listen to us, what the teacher said is all wrong!" "

teacher: "you are stupid."

student: "We are smart."

teacher: "stop!"

student: "Go on!"

teacher: "you stop now! Stop it! "

student: "let's continue now! Say it! "

teacher: "you stupid pigs, I said stop!" "

student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" "

teacher: "You listen to the teacher!"

student: "The teacher listens to us!"

teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" "

Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!"

teacher: "now you stop practicing!" "

Student: "Now let's keep practicing!"

teacher: "are you endless?"

student: "We finish what we started!"

teacher: "then stop! Stupid pig! "

student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "

,,,, After that, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with a book. Jokes suitable for a three-minute speech 3

Jokes that can be used in the speech (popular articles)

1. A patient has white hair and sparse hair: Doctor, is there anything you can do to make my white hair disappear? Doctor: Don't worry, it's easy. You'll be fine when you go bald.

2. After watching If You Are the One 2, I understand that in China, the so-called successful men not only have a house and a car, but also have money and leisure, but also drink a brand of liquor, buy insurance from a company, travel by business jet, spend a holiday in Sanya, stay in a Shuiwan villa, propose marriage on the Great Wall, massage their feet in the foot washing room, and of course, the most important thing is to marry a beautiful stewardess as a wife.

3. Our Chinese teacher: Please turn your books to 12 yuan, and the whole class is dizzy. Later, this teacher was nicknamed "money addict".

4. Dear TV station leader: I am a TV fan. Recently, I found that there is an increasingly bad trend, that is, TV dramas are constantly inserted in advertisements, which is extremely irresponsible and ignores the audience. I suggest making great efforts to stop it. It is best to only have advertisements without TV dramas and other content.

5. I'm bored during recess. Some students play with questions. Q: Who is Shi Xian? A: Li Bai. Q: Who is the poet saint? A: Du Fu. Q: What about Shi Gui? A: Li He. Q: What about the Poet King? A passing classmate blurted out: Simba!

6. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with the telephone pole. Some fucking asshole passed by, thinking I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

7. Although you are a little dark, you are very enthusiastic. You attract everyone with your unique brilliance, which makes people want to be with you, especially in the cold winter, so I want to send you a text message today, saying that I am rare for you, coal ball.

8. I bought a new car at home and went out for a ride with my husband excitedly. Looking at a gentle and considerate husband, a new car and a new house, I feel very happy. I can't help feeling that I am as happy as a dream. As soon as I opened my eyes, it was really a dream ...

9. There was a baby (male) in the dormitory, and he was a bit honest (stupid). After lights out at night, everyone chatted, and he said, when I have money, I will find three girls. Our taste was stirred up by him. When we asked him what happened, he calmly said, playing mahjong ...

1. Employees of a certain department had a dinner and set two tables. The hairy crabs on the table are wild and small; The hairy crabs on the staff table are cultured and big. The leader was very angry, and the director of the office explained that their table was raised by people!

11. You can get the whole world with love, or you can lose the whole world with hate.

12. If I lose you because God has given me something, I would rather have nothing, I just want you to come back to me!

13. Throughout the ages, human beings have been weaving dreams and hopes from generation to generation. Looking at the sky, the starry sky is shining with the whispers and pious prayers of ancestors; That dream is so real and so far away, because it is the eternal pursuit in the heart, and it is the prosperity and fantasy floating in reality.

14. A dream, like a seed, spreads in the soil of the "soul". Although it is small, it can blossom and bear fruit. Without a dream, it is like living in a desolate desert, cold and lifeless.

15. Happy birthday! Let me bless you, let me laugh for you, because on your birthday today, my heart is as jubilant and happy as yours! Happy birthday to my baby!

16. Digital Baby Awu saved the world at the age of 8, Poké mon Xiao Zhi traveled around the world at the age of 1, Qilongzhu Wukong attended the first martial arts meeting in the world at the age of 12, and the Chinese young master took senior chef at the age of 13.

17. A person who makes Americans talk about his color change is worthy of the word "hero", using primitive weapons and communication equipment, three world-famous war generals against the United States: bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Zarqafi.

18. After Yang Zhenning married Weng Fan, his good friend once said to Yang privately, "It's really a pity for other girls. You can be a grandfather." Yang was very dissatisfied after listening: "I am even more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I still have to pretend to be a grandson!