What jokes can you tell your classmates?

1. A stupid thief was ordered to spy on a luxurious villa so that he could attack later. He walked through the woods in the dark and saw a pair of girls in the living room, playing the piano energetically. After returning, he said to the leader: "Let's not touch that place. They won't have money. I saw two people inside sharing a piano."

One night he received a phone call. It was from the telecommunications bureau: "Sir, we now suspect that there is something wrong with your phone line. Please speak a few words loudly into the microphone and sing a few words so that we can determine the fault." So I pointed He yelled a few words into the microphone, sang another song, and then asked the other end of the phone: "Is there something wrong with my phone?" I only heard a snicker on the phone: "There is nothing wrong with your phone, but there is something wrong with your brain."

A man picked up a magic lamp, and the genie in the lamp told him that he could make a wish.

He said: "I want a sandwich."

The elf said: "Your wish is too small, you should make a bigger wish."

"Well," the man said happily, "I want three extra large sandwiches."

Two idiots went on a fishing vacation. They rented all the equipment: fishing lines, fishing poles, They spent a lot of money on swimsuits, boats, cars, and even rented a cabin in the forest. The first day they went fishing, but they didn't catch anything. The same goes for the second day, and the third day. This situation continued, and finally on the last day of their vacation, one of them caught a fish.

As they drove home, both of them were frustrated. One of them turned to the other and said, "Do you know this useless fish cost us 1,500 yuan?" the other said. : "Wow! Fortunately we only caught one!"

2. A ghost encountered God and quickly complained to God: Ghost: Oh God, can I be an angel in the next life? God glanced at the ghost, okay. The ghost lowered his head shyly: But I still want to suck blood... God: ...In the next life, you will make sanitary napkins. 3. The male teacher angrily said to a girl who was sleeping in class: I am tired from up there. Damn it, you are motionless down there! It’s fine if you don’t cooperate, you don’t even have any reaction. If you don’t have anything in your stomach in the future, don’t blame the teacher! As a result, the whole class fainted

4. A professor was teaching in the field: "Scientific research must not be afraid of getting dirty..." Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger on it Licking your mouth clean. A classmate hurriedly said: "I'm not afraid of getting dirty..." Then he poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger and put it in his mouth to lick it clean. The professor said: "In addition, you must be good at observation. I just poked the dung with my middle finger, but I licked it." It's the index finger..." 5. A polar bear was sitting alone on the ice. When he was bored, he started to pull out one hair... two... three... and finally there was no hair left. Screaming...it's so cold! ! ……………… 6. Noodles was beaten by a steamed bun, so he went to his cousin Instant Noodles for revenge. When Instant Noodles saw the bean buns, he beat him up. When he came back, he said to Noodles: Don’t worry, I beat all the shit out of him.