Who can give me some beautiful articles and jokes?

There is a beggar on the overpass in the city. He can't play the piano, he can't sing, and he can't even write down his tragic experiences on the ground with chalk. He just squats on the guardrail every day, burying his head deep in his knees and putting a broken aluminum basin at his feet. Fortunately, there are many people passing by this overpass, and occasionally someone throws a coin or two into the small basin at his feet.

When night falls, beggars will return to their residence-an abandoned vegetable garden in the suburbs. The vegetable garden was fenced in, and there was a broken shack, where beggars spent several cold winters. There is also a dry well in the vegetable garden, and there is an old tree by the well.

Accompanied by the biting north wind, the city experienced the first snow since winter. There are few pedestrians on the overpass, and beggars want to call it a day. However, at one end of the overpass, a shivering dog came running. The dog tried to get close to the beggar and licked it carefully in a small basin at the beggar's feet. Beggars used it for food last night. Touching the softest nerve in the beggar's heart, he took out the bread and gently put it into a small basin. The puppy looked at him gratefully and ate with relish.

The beggar took the puppy home, and they lived together from then on. When the dog was hungry, he picked up a small basin and circled around the beggar. Passers-by were surprised and thought it was a performing puppy, so they put the money in a small basin. Beggars found business opportunities, and after training, the puppy was able to stand upright with two hind legs and jump around in the crowd with a small basin in his mouth. So more money was put into the beggar's pocket.

Beggars who became "rich" began to gamble on lottery tickets with extra money. What unexpected good luck. One day soon, he actually won the grand prize, which is simply astronomical.

The beggar bought the vegetable garden and built a luxurious house in it, but he kept the shabby shack in the backyard and the surrounding dry wells, old trees and fences.

The beggar's home is full of all kinds of luxuries. He is just addicted to shopping. He likes the waitress's charming smile, and he likes the surprised and envious eyes when he takes out a lot of money. Mr. Beggar began to go out to some high-class social occasions, and of course he would take his puppy with him. Ladies and gentlemen in the upper class all praised the rich upstart, and no one knew his past.

The only thing that embarrassed Mr. Beggar was the puppy next to him. Others are dogs of pure blood and noble status.

Until one day, the naughty dog tore a poodle's ear at the party. The dog owner flew into a rage, and Mr. Beggar's inflated self-esteem was seriously hurt.

After the beggar came home, he directly carried the puppy to the backyard, put it in a wooden bucket and sent it underground with a long rope.

The beggar was determined to make the puppy disappear before his eyes. He wants to forget his humble past.

Since then, the beggar has lost the shabby dog, and he can enjoy the warm eyes of the waitress and attend those high-class parties alone. Fortunately, he finally did not forget to throw a few pieces of meat into the well every day. The barking of the puppy let him know that his former friend was still alive.

The puppy is hovering around the bottom of the well. It keeps looking up with its head up. But no one has been here except some food that falls down every day. The puppy kept staring at the bottom of the well. ...

In a blink of an eye, more than a month passed, and the beggar was not happy, and his friends did not increase because of the dog's departure. A day later, the drunken beggar revealed his life story to people, and he was laughed at and left out. The beggar finally realized that only the dog he had lived with was his true friend in this world, but he still threw it into the well.

The beggar quickly ran to the well and put down the bucket. But the puppy just ran around the bucket but refused to climb in. The beggar ran out and bought a rope ladder. He tied one end of the rope ladder to a tree by the well, and then climbed down to save his puppy. The well is deep, but the beggar is not afraid. The bottom of the well is damp and dark, with a strong smell. He picked up the puppy and climbed up. The puppy didn't blame its owner. He has been licking the beggar's face enthusiastically.

Because of the long time in the underground, the puppy's neck can't be straightened, so he can only turn his head back on the ground.

The best doctor in this city failed to cure the dog. In order to make up for his mistake, the beggar gave him the best food every day and took him everywhere. The puppy wags its tail happily, but its head can only lean back and look at the sky. Beggars wander around the city with their puppies every day. He gave money to other beggars. When other beggars were grateful to tears, he felt satisfied. The beggar has a new plan. He informs other beggars to come to his house to collect money every day.

The news spread and the queue for receiving money became longer and longer. The person who received the money praised him with the most beautiful words in the world, and the beggar was excited about it.

The TV news in the evening also broadcast this grand occasion.

The next day, people swarmed in, and some people who were not beggars at all joined the team to collect money.

Beggars are addicted to their own feats and commute between the bank and home every day.

Until one day, the bank informed him that the money was used up, and he announced to the long queue that there was no money to send!

The huge team was in a mess at once. People began to curse: "liar!" " ""teach him a lesson! "People rushed to his house and stones flew to his window. The door was about to burst open, and the frightened beggar fled to the backyard with the puppy. The beggar saw the rope ladder at the wellhead and hurried down. When the beggar was about to reach the bottom of the well, one end of the rope ladder tied to the tree suddenly broke, and the beggar and his rope ladder fell into the soft bottom of the well together.

The police made great efforts to disperse the crowd, but the house was in ruins and people took everything they could.

As the days passed, the beggar had to curl up in the dark and cold bottom of the well. He shouted at the sun and the moon, and no one could hear him. Every day, the puppy looks around for food to throw, sometimes it is a stale bone, sometimes it is a moldy bread. It is difficult for a dog to find food, because its neck is bent backwards, so it can only lie on the garbage and sniff, and pick up bad meat and run to the wellhead. Once, the puppy threw a dead cat.

In a blink of an eye, more than a month has passed, and the puppy is reluctant to eat what he has found. It has become skinny, and later even the strength to walk is gone. The beggar continued to shout at the bottom of the well every day, but no one came to save him.

The dog hasn't lost anything for several days, and the beggar doesn't know what happened to the dog. The beggar stared at the small sky at the wellhead, and he knew he was going to die.

One morning, a weak voice from the wellhead woke the sleeping beggar, and he shouted with all his strength. He was hung by a rope and the sun blinded his eyes. People looked at the unkempt, dirty and smelly man: "If this puppy hadn't died at the wellhead, no one would have heard your cry." The beggar saw the skinny puppy, and his dirty hair was wet with tears.

The beggar buried the puppy in the backyard, and there was a line on the small tombstone: My only friend.

Engineers, physicists and mathematicians received a task at the same time: nailing the wall.

The engineer built a universal nailing machine, that is, a machine that can nail any possible nail into any possible wall.

Physicists have done a series of tests on the strength of hammers, nails and walls, and then developed a revolutionary technology-ultra-low-temperature ultrasonic nailing technology.

Mathematicians extend the problem to N-dimensional space, and consider the problem that a kinked 1 dimensional nail penetrates the N- 1 dimensional super wall.

Many basic theorems have been proved ... Of course, the depth of this topic makes the existence of simple solutions far from obvious.

2

A farmer invited engineers, physicists and mathematicians to enclose the largest area with the least fences.

The engineer fenced a circle and declared that it was the best design.

The physicist stretched the fence into a long straight line and thought it was big enough to enclose half the earth.

The mathematician gave them a big laugh. He surrounded himself with several fences and then said, "I'm outside now."

three

Physicists and engineers got lost in a hot air balloon in the Grand Canyon.

They shouted for help: "Hello! Where are we? "

After about 15 minutes, they heard the response echoing in the valley: "Hey! You are in a hot air balloon! "

The physicist said, "That guy must be a mathematician."

The engineer wants to know, "Why?"

The physicist said, "Because it took him a long time to give a completely correct answer, but it was useless."

I forgot all about algebra. Who will explain this? )

Constant function and exponential function e's x power walk down the street, and you can see the differential operator from a distance. The constant function was so scared that it quickly hid and said, "If I differentiate by it, there will be nothing!" " "Exponential function unhurriedly said," it can't do anything to me, I am the x power of E! " "

Exponential function meets differential operator. Exponential function introduces itself: "Hello, I am the X power of E" Differential operator says: "Hello, I am d/dy!"

five

Physicists, astronomers and mathematicians were walking on the Scottish Plateau when they happened to see a black sheep.

"Ah," said the astronomer, "so Scottish sheep are black."

"Come on, you can't just say that based on one observation." The physicist said, "You can only say that the black sheep were found in Scotland."

"No," said the mathematician, "from this observation, you can only say: At this moment, this sheep, from our observation point of view, its surface is black!"

six

One day, the mathematician felt that he had had enough of mathematics and ran to the fire brigade to announce that he wanted to be a fireman.

The fire chief said, "You look good, but I have to give you a test first."

The fire chief took the mathematician to the backyard alley of the fire brigade. There is a warehouse, a fire hydrant and a hose in the alley. The fire chief asked, "Suppose the warehouse was on fire, what would you do?"

The mathematician replied, "I connected the fire hydrant to the water pipe, opened the water pipe and put out the fire."

The fire chief said, "Exactly! Last question: suppose you walk into an alley and the warehouse is not on fire, what would you do? "

The mathematician pondered for a long time in doubt and finally replied, "I will set fire to the warehouse."

The fire chief shouted, "What? That's terrible! Why did you set fire to the warehouse? "

The mathematician replied, "In this way, I will simplify the problem into a problem that I have solved."