Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A humorous encyclopedia suitable for signature sentences

A humorous encyclopedia suitable for signature sentences

Humorous choice of sentences suitable for signature

1) The fat is so thick that it hurts to move!

2) How vast life is and how much homework there is.

3) I came quietly and walked quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

4) Life is really interesting, because life is always playing with me.

5) Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

6) Just now, I was riding a tram in an alley here, and a big brother across the street was riding a bike. It's getting closer and closer and it's about to hit. At this moment, the witty eldest brother shouted, "You go right, I go left." Then, we climbed for a long time before getting up ~!

7) It is better to learn Chinese for one year than to talk about QQ for half a year.

8) We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. What makes us unhappy in life is often trivial things.

9) Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

10) At ten o'clock in the evening, my wife on a business trip called. The following is the dialogue! Daughter-in-law: Where are you? Me: At home! Daughter-in-law: Really at home? Didn't go out fooling around? Me: Are you sick again? I'm not at home. Where is it? Daughter-in-law: Well, go to the door in the middle of the refrigerator and see what's in the third compartment. I went to have a look and there was a photo of us. Tell her. Daughter-in-law: Yes. Then you are at home, go to bed early!

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

12) Being in a daze is called profound if it is done well. If you don't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

13) In the hospital, the doctor told her husband that there was nothing seriously wrong with your wife. When you get home, you should follow her a little, try not to quarrel with her, and try to satisfy her if you have any requirements. It's best to take her out for a trip twice a year to make her happy and recover soon. Husband came home and said to his wife: wife, the doctor said that you have no cure for this disease.

14) I always feel that the bed, spread too neatly, will mean a little to spend my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

15) I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable and stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first.

Humorous sentence set suitable for signature

1) telephone overdraft 10000 yuan, sentenced to life, killed people, sentenced to several years; Atm malicious withdrawal is sentenced to life, and corruption is sentenced to tens of millions of years.

2) I only trust two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

3) God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

4) In order to drive a Land Rover, you have to endure hardships. If you don't work hard, you can only drive Li Xia.

5) If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let China Mobile say sorry for you!

6) All love can't be caged, and there is a pig in the wall.

7) I have the ability to pick up girls, but I am a girl.

8) The greatest happiness of thin people is that they are not afraid of long meat if they eat too much; The biggest happiness of fat people is that they are still fat after eating too much.

9) When we were young, we were all flowers of our motherland. It's just that some people grow up to be wonderful.

10) You don't know who you love most until you are drunk, and you don't know who you love most until you are ill.

1 1) Mochow has no confidant in the road ahead, and anyone can kill him.

12) Man is iron and rice is steel.

13) A person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

14) The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.

15) I am a friend of mine and my classmate. I call them three unsurpassable gods.

A humorous encyclopedia suitable for signature sentences

1) Push yourself and others.

2) I just want to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall!

3) You can't treat me as a holiday just because we have problems.

4) When there are many good people, bad people are easy to succeed. Because there are fewer bad guys, the value goes up. When the bad guys are rampant, the good guys are easy to succeed. Because good people are scarce, their worth doubles. Stick to being a good person, and luck will always turn.

5) Chase two rabbits at the same time and catch neither. Don't covet everything, or you will have nothing; Don't try to know everything, or you will know nothing; Don't try to be omnipotent, or you will become omnipotent. To lose is to gain; Pain is happiness.

6) Sometimes it's your friends who make you miserable; What makes you successful is sometimes your opponent. We should learn to be grateful; You should learn to hold a grudge.

7) It is smart to simplify into wealth; Turning wealth into simplicity is wisdom. Rich, helpful to thinking; Simple and easy to realize. Rich and simple, can think and do, can achieve great things.

8) The material living standard between husband and wife is determined by the one with higher income; The level of spiritual life between them is determined by the party with lower quality.

9) There is no discard in the world. It is a waste card in others' hands, but it is a good card in your own hands.

10) On the hotbed of life, the disaster of life was born. Neglect is a great love.

1 1) Great men are great because you are kneeling. Cut off a great man's head and you will be as tall as him.

12) Wisdom is not wisdom, but wisdom must be smart.

13) Small trees with shallow roots are easily blown down by storms; People don't fall down only when they are burdened.

14) The extreme of richness is simplicity; Gorgeous extreme is plain; The extreme of love is silence.

15) It is safest to put eggs in two baskets; But it's safer in an iron basket.

16) is correct, sometimes it looks like a mistake; Mistakes sometimes seem right.

17) eyes can see far away, but they can't see the eyes in their eyes; A very clever barber can't shave his head.

18) Anger makes a poet; Loneliness gives birth to thoughts; Liveliness makes fashion.

19) brave and timid; Timid and brave; Dagong private; If private is public.

20) Being poor and rich is very simple; Ignorance and success go hand in hand, and this is concentration.

2 1) People can surmount natural obstacles, but they cannot surmount their own obstacles with wisdom.

22) Small money often makes money. Small fish always like to float on the water; Sharks just hide in the depths of the sea. Therefore, the streets are full of poor people dressed in gold and silver.

23) The need of life is to take; The greatest need is to be needed.

24) Men are running waterfalls; Women are valleys. Waterfalls without valleys will flood; If there were no rushing waterfalls in the valley, it would be silent.

25) Gorgeous is often vain; Vulgarity is often mellow.

26) Love your children, not necessarily your mother; Love your mother, but you must love your children; People who don't love themselves will of course love their lovers.

27) It is better to be alone in the moon than to be bright with stars; Birds sing together, not as good as tigers roar.

28) When you are proud, your friends know you; When you are in trouble, you make friends.

29) Suffering is a gift from heaven; Luck is God's punishment. This is why we have difficulty and success, luck and mediocrity.

30) Various ideas can also be called knowledge or knowing death. A knowledgeable idiot.

Complete works of classic humorous signature sentences

Selected classic humorous signature sentences

1) It's not necessarily Superman who can fly, it's not necessarily a bird, it may be an airplane!

2) Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!

3) I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4) You can't blame gravity if you can't shit. Maybe you are constipated!

5) Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle. Call him out and ask!

6) A good horse with a good saddle and an old man with a beautiful woman!

7) The latest use of noodles is being beaten by buns!

8) The universe is unimaginable. The earth is just a dust in the universe. Why should I suffer for losing a dime?

9) I am not a casual person, but if you want to be casual, I will be casual!

10) All princes like princesses, and so does the frog prince!

1 1) is gold and will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

12) the principle of microcomputer is in crisis, the random process is random, the real variable function has been studied for ten times, and the assembly language can't be compiled!

13) The nutrition of fake baby milk powder is not as good as grass. It was better to eat grass at the beginning!

14) My future is not a dream, but a nightmare!

15) My life has two sides, A and B, and yours has two sides, S and B. ..

A collection of classic humorous signature sentences

1) Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

2) Do you believe in Christianity or do roosters crow?

3) There are no handsome guys in the world. With high technology, it will come naturally.

4) Looking back suddenly, you haven't left yet.

5) You take your sunny road and I will take my underground road.

6) It will be annoying to mix together sooner or later.

7) Play a small mahjong and have a spicy meal. Find a small object, life is like this.

8) Life, like anxiety, is thrilling without accurate lyrics.

9) Be careful even when washing your hair, lest water enter your brain.

10) My heart is not a bus. I don't want to sit down if there is a vacancy.

1 1) knows astronomy above, geography below, but not English.

12) three points are destined for heaven, and seven points depend on dressing up.

13) Marble insole, shameless.

14) I'll hit you if I hit you. Do we have to choose a date?

15) It is better to cook than to mix, not to be second, not to be soaring.

Complete works of classic humorous signature sentences

1) Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

2) Without toads, swans would be lonely.

3) The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.

4) Cheap is also an art. Let's do this art well together!

5) A star can be more famous by taking off a little, but I got caught taking off all my clothes!

6) Please don't harass, I am harassing others.

7) You are the first song in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.

8) Opportunity is like a hair on a bald head. You catch it, you can't catch it, and it's gone.

9) If you use the honey trap, I will accompany you.

10) I often wake up from my dream because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

1 1) The one on my face is definitely not a pimple, it's called youth.

12) Everyone should love animals because they are delicious.

13) What is a class teacher? It is a person who ruined your friendship, your love and your family.

14) If you can't be amazing, it will be ugly!

15) Fart is the indomitable soul of the food you eat.

16) Don't keep loading and loading like a trash can.

17) If fate grabs your throat, grab his armpit.

18) I don't know that food is expensive without charging, and I don't know that I am fat without taking pictures.

19) Why is her brother a gangster? Shit! Aren't you going to the party?

20) I finished my bachelor's degree, master's degree and doctor's degree, and you finished your doctor's degree.

2 1) You'll never see my loneliest time, because when I can't see you, it's my loneliest time!

22) We should talk while drinking water.

23) Comrades: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky Tofu is the safest! Tofu is dry and hard, tofu brain is thin, tofu skin is thin, soybean milk is useless, and stinky tofu stinks! Don't lose!

24) I used to talk and thought I was blind.

25) keep a low profile! It's the best b show!

Love is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from Metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from Metamorphosis.

If you don't leave me here, you will leave me here. I won't leave you anywhere and go home to do housework.

28) What can't be done? I can't stand those children, those wolves, those wives and those hooligans.

29) Don't talk to me about ideals, and quit!

Personality signature funny sentences funny humorous signature sentences

Funny sentences with signature (classic)

1) Give yourself a little confidence. Don't sit in the right position when others mention being fat, because you may not be able to sit down.

2) Only those who can keep secrets can get more secrets.

3) I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, there are too many chefs who have streaked for more than 20 years!

4) Not afraid of opponents like gods, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

5) I want to give the mother of the future object a bad review. The delivery is too slow, and no one has received it yet.

6) I just like the way you look at me and can't get rid of me.

7) Your every move, your voice and your smile are all over my mind.

8) Getting married is not necessarily the person you love most, but it must be the person who suits you best.

9) The same man with a telescope was called a general on the battlefield and became a hooligan at home.

10) I am not a casual person, nor a casual person;

Delete all the memories about you and disappear from my world.

12) clouds need clothes and flowers, pigs need fat, and people need red.

13) Why do you get up so early? The bar hasn't opened yet!

14) Why did you break up? Because I'm tired of it.

15) There are two plastic bags in our class. They pack, pack, pack all day.

Funny sentences with personalized signatures (popular articles)

1) Being too concerned about others only accelerates his boredom with you.

2) A man's greatest failure is to give others a chance to laugh at his woman.

3) Don't listen to things outside the window, just read e-books.

4) hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

5) What are you afraid of? I won't hit you. I am an easy-going person. Throw him down.

6) Snow White's story tells us that even if seven diaosi are kind to her, they can't compare with a kiss from a rich and handsome man.

7) Some people test their strength, while others test their eyesight.

I love you. This is a wonderful time. It knows.

9) How to feed your many lovers without studying.

10) I want to be your eyes, because then you won't be afraid of the night.

Sometimes, your feelings deceive you.

12) call you master, do you think you are instant noodles?

13) The left head is flour and the right head is water. When you think about a problem, your head is mushy.

14) Looking back suddenly, why haven't you left yet?

15) handsome and has a car, that is chess. It is the bank that has money and houses.

16) If you need advice or suggestions, we will provide them free of charge; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

17) To subvert the whole world smartly, the damage should be strong. If you get into trouble, you get a patent, pretend to be good and do stunts. The whole person is regarded as fate by talent.

18) You are dead. Although I have no money, I will install a WiFi in front of your grave even if I collect junk and sell money!

19) teacher's laziness! Well, you are really good at learning the three-character classic.

20) The Botanical Garden has specially built an 8-foot-high fence for newly introduced kangaroos.

Funny sentences with personalized signatures (latest)

Mom, how high it is! Daughter-in-law is also humorous, so she replied: One mother has two hips.

2) It seems that you are a complete loser, just a loser, just a loser.

3) True love is a kind of spiritual enjoyment, rather than exchanging love for each other's luxury.

4) On the road of love, I always stop and go, and my mother says that my legs and feet are not good.

5) Half the world is laughing at the other half, but the whole world is a fool.

6) Dream, anything is possible.

7) I feel so beautiful when I fall asleep that I can't sleep anymore.

8) Actually, I'm just afraid that my enthusiasm will make your love cold.

9) Kill you with what, my love.

10) The latest incisive and humorous words: Can you eat super powers?

1 1) It is difficult for rich people to have no money.

12) is not to be a simple and excellent person, but to be an irreplaceable person.

13) I understand that I was the only one who accompanied me in the end.

14) hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

15) A good woman is like gasoline. Once she has it, she has power. A bad woman is like an airbag. Once she uses it, she will have a crisis.

16) suddenly found that, in turn, one died and the other dispersed.

17) If the teacher hadn't told me not to litter, I would have thrown you out.

18) silence is golden, floating bath is fire, tolerance is water, clumsiness is wood, who is old-fashioned

19) Men should have strong points, women should stand out, and men and women should have individuality. There are more and more people with personalities.

20) The children of the college entrance examination are destined to be extraordinary this summer. I wish us good results in the exam.

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Interesting sentences, personalized signatures, interesting humor, signed sentences.

Personality signature of funny sentences (classic)

1) Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

2) Life doesn't care about the length, just want to live wonderfully, eat enough and be healthy!

3) I'm in a bad mood now, and I don't want to do anything but eat.

4) With your participation in the song, it has complete meaning.

5) Crying can solve sadness, and laughing can relieve mood.

6) When the value of the decorations on your body exceeds your intrinsic value, you are fashionable.

7) I feel funny and fantasize about loving you forever.

8) It is better to see you close than to see you fierce.

9) The house is rotten and the future is uncertain.

10) I promise you a rockhopper, and you have to do as I say.

1 1) Remember me? Someone who once loved you deeply.

12) What am I like when the sun comes out?

13) I plan to open a slimming hall in the future. Remember to sign up.

14) is like a pair of shoes. If it belongs to you, it is 100% suitable for you. No compulsion, no struggle, no pain.

15) I prefer Naruto, because I died in a village when I died.

Personality signature of funny sentences (popular articles)

1) Sorry to catch you. How dare you steal?

2) When I am obsessed with love, I will definitely become learn to be lonely.

3) Never quarrel with your parents. If you win, you will be beaten; If you lose, you will be scolded.

4) Three points are destiny takes a hand, and seven points depend on dressing up.

5) Don't hang yourself from a tree several times ~

6) Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.

7) The feeling of idleness is worse than being down and out.

8) Fate is like rape. If you can't resist, learn to enjoy it, hehe.

9) I get goose bumps when I think of your sweet words.

10) When you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket, shake coke, pound rice jars, break off Dove, pinch instant noodles, and tie condoms.

1 1) going to work is to carry forward the spirit that dead mice are not afraid of cold!

12) Everyone who likes to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. His name is bed.

13) The most selfless person in the world is Cai Lun. He was a eunuch, but he invented paper.

14) The Association for the Blind sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.

15) Living in a gray world, although monotonous, I won't feel disappointed or sad.

16) since dating is not allowed, simply don't give out school uniforms, so as not to be called lovers' clothes.

17) Grab vinegar during SARS and grab salt during nuclear radiation! Have you considered the feeling of soy sauce?

18) I said, big brother, I'm not a straw boat, and you bitch don't have to send me messages all the time!

19) Children's Day. Once my favorite festival.

20) I have always had a question in my heart. For so many years, for a whole year, what did Big Wolf eat to survive?

Personality signature of funny sentences (latest)

1) If I become a star one day, I will definitely show it to you.

2) Mom said: Pretend to drink soy sauce even if you are jealous, and don't let others look down on you.

3) Even if no one knows you, at least they know themselves.

4) I really look special. People say I look like Brad when I eat steamed bread? Pete.

5) Seven points depend on hard work.

6) The headmaster is not dead, why should he wear mourning clothes?

7) Living wastes air, dying wastes land, and dying wastes land.

8) If you scold me for being ugly, someone will love me for being ugly.

How time flies when I hear the tick of the clock.

10) I said to my deskmate: My deskmate is a pig. My deskmate said fiercely: Your deskmate is the pig.

1 1) I think it's fun to hang a bell around my neck.

12) female: what do you think of sex men: there are many ways to do it.

13) Either endure or be cruel. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

14) Your father and I went to eat mala Tang. When your father stamped his foot, the waiter brought me a bowl of mala Tang, which was neither spicy nor hot.

15) Liang Xi: If I were wifi, more people would love me.

16) Always young, always pretending, always unappreciative, always in tears.

17) toothache went to the hospital. The young doctor hit me on the mouth with a tool and kept frowning. Finally, he shook his head and told me with a sigh: there is no cure. At that time, the teacher said that your situation was not the point, so you didn't arrest me!

18) Go right and do it right. Some broken shoes are not diseases.

19) A young couple is traveling to Britain!

20) I like you so much that I will die if you like it.

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Humorous sentences suitable for chatting

Humorous sentences suitable for chatting

1. Live well, because we will die for a long time!

Even if you are already taken, I will use flowers instead of trees.

3. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

I tried to turn the salted fish over during the exam. Damn it, I didn't expect it to stick.

I knew you were a monster as soon as I opened my eyes.

6. You believe in advertisements. You are stupid to study!

7. Tomorrow after tomorrow, how many tomorrows are there! Since there are so many, we might as well postpone it again.

8. Men always say one thing and do another, and wear condoms when it's critical.

9. Come back, I can't fool you alone!

10. Wear other people's shoes and go your own way. Let others find shoes!

1 1. The university came down from me, tied my pants and said, Youth stays, you go. At that moment, I realized: I didn't go to college, but the university fucked me.

12. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!

13. It's dangerous to swim alone in the wild. It's best to go together. There is one more person on the road and one more concern.

14. Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the pot and cover it!

15. Being mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

16. All the food you waste will be blocked on your way to heaven.

17.Xp is not arrogant, you think I am DOS!

18. Stupid birds fly first, stupid pigs get fat first.

19. Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

20. If you can't even cheat, how can you trust your teacher to let you enter the society?

2 1. What is youth? Who hasn't been young? Are you old? Really.

22. Women's mood: three points are destined for heaven, and seven points depend on shopping.

If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.

24. When passing by a person, all the clothes were scratched without any spark.

I know what you will be like tomorrow, really, I will tell you the day after tomorrow.

Humorous sentences

1. Mosquito, when will you evolve to suck fat instead of blood?

2. Don't take a person's past to doubt a person's essence.

3. Journey to the West tells us that all the fairies with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

4. What is the secret of longevity? Keep breathing, don't die.

Wage is like a period, which comes once a month and disappears in a week.

I told you to keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

7. You said you were a limited edition, but I'm out of print.

It is said that women are made of water, but the water pollution is so serious recently.

9. Are you pure? Then there was no gutter in the world, and it became Telunsu.

10. You have your reasons for giving up on me, and I have your capital to regret.

1 1. You have the face to lie, so I have the face to believe it.

12. Don't look at me from your point of view. I'm afraid you can't understand.

13. The object you are pursuing already has an object. Don't be discouraged, there will always be points.

14. If you are willing to die for me, and I won't watch you die with my eyes open, then I have to close my eyes.

15. If brain-dead people can fly, then this is the airport.

Humorous sentences commonly used in chatting

1. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

2. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

I am like grass, I can't extricate myself.

5. Flip a coin: head to the Internet, tail to sleep, stand up and do your homework.

6. Sleep in class, fight after class, and die in the exam.

7. If my leaving can bring you a smile, you'd better cry.

8. Not afraid of opponents like God, but afraid of teammates like rogue rabbits.

9. I am such a good girl that you don't even like teenagers. Do you like boys?

10. Who didn't experience a few scum when he was young?

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